Page 14 of Duty and Desire

“What are you doing here?” he asks, and I realize I’ve just been staring at him, taking in the scruff on his jaw and how handsome he looks today.

“I made you cookies to say thank you for helping me out the other day.” I hold out the container, but he doesn’t take it or say a word. Instead, his eyes stay locked on mine, causing an uncomfortable knot to form in my stomach. “I figured nothing saysthank youlike baked goods.” I rub my lips together, then continue rambling like an idiot to fill the silence. “They’re chocolate chip… and not the cheap chocolate chips. The good ones from that fancy organic store across town.”Oh Lord, why did I say that?“Not that there is anything wrong with the less-expensive ones. I just like the way the real stuff melts and tastes, so I feel like spending a couple of dollars more is worth it in the end. But the flour and stuff is all just from the regular store.”

I push the container into his chest and let go, which forces him to grab it before it falls to the ground. “You can give them to your coworkers if you don’t want them.” I step around him and start down the steps, needing to get away, then gasp when his large palm wraps around my upper biceps.

“Where are you going?”

“To find the nearest lake to jump into.” I hear him chuckle and tip my head his way, which is a mistake because I’m already attracted to him. Seeing him smile just makes that even more apparent. And that sucks because the last thing I need is to be crushing on him, especially when I’m very much still married, and he’s so obviously not even a tad bit interested.

“Did you really make these?”

“I did,” I tell him, then watch as he drops his duffle bag to the ground so he can open the container and take out one of the cookies. He places the entire thing into his mouth.

“Damn,” he mumbles, closing his eyes while chewing, and I rub my lips together. I don’t know what he looks like when he’s having an orgasm, but the expression on his face now causes a rush of heat to spread up my neck to my cheeks. “And you’re telling me they taste this good just because of some fancy chocolate?” he asks, opening his eyes and scanning my face.

“Um…mm-hmm.” I clear my throat. “That and the mixture of butter and shortening I used.”

“I’ll have to get the recipe from you.”

“I’ll text it to Aiden and have him pass it along,” I tell him as a very cute female officer pushes open the closed door. When his attention goes to her, his face lights up with a smile. As they begin talking, I descend to the sidewalk and start toward my car, needing to escape. Because the feeling of jealousy sitting in the pit of my stomach like a rotten apple is not an emotion I like much, even though it’s very, very familiar.

“Bridgett,” Noah calls out. I turn my head to look at him over my shoulder, finding his brows drawn together while the female officer watches me with a curious expression.

“I know you’re working.” I wave my hand. “I just wanted to drop those off. I’m sure I’ll see you around.” I give him a smile that feels totally awkward and forced. “Have a good night.” I spin on my heel and hurry to my car, trying to make it look like I’m not rushing at all. Once inside, I start the engine, then back out of the space without sparing him another glance.

Instead of going home, I drive through town and head toward my parents’ house. I put off going to check on my dad for a couple of days to avoid seeing my mom, but I can’t do that any longer. I need to have a talk with him about my plans since my real-estate exam is coming up. If I pass, I hope to find a realtorI can learn the ropes from before stepping out completely on my own and quitting my job with his firm.

My dad owns one of the largest building companies in Tennessee, which his father passed down to him. He planned to have my brother take over when he retired, but Aiden fell in love with soccer, then went on to play professionally. He did that until a few months ago when he suffered an injury that took him out of the game for good. When my dad had a stroke that paralyzed him on one side of his body, Aiden came home to help out, and that’s when he met his girlfriend, May. I don’t know how long Aiden plans to help Dad, but I do know that my father is happier than he’s been in a long time, having his son back in Tennessee and working right where he believes he was always supposed to be.

As I turn into my parents’ driveway and the large house comes into view, I wonder what will happen to my childhood home if my parents divorce. Not that I have any fond memories attached to the residence I grew up that will make it difficult to let it go. But, still, it will be strange not to have both of them in one place.

After I park just around the bend in the circular driveway, I get out, walk to the front door, and don’t bother knocking. Instead, I use my key to let myself in. It’s quiet and dark inside, but I see light coming from the doorway of my dad’s office at the end of the long hall and hear what sounds like people talking. When I get to the room, I find one of Dad’s nurses sitting in a chair, and my dad in the hospital bed. They put it in the room after his stroke since it was too difficult for him to make it up the stairs. When his nurse’s eyes meet mine, I smile, and she returns it before getting up and telling him she will be back in a bit with his dinner.

“Hey, Dad.” I walk farther into the room, and he gives me a weary smile. One I’m sure is because my mother has probablybeen in a tizzy since he asked her for a divorce. I would not want to be a fly on the wall in this house any day of the week, but I definitely wouldn’t want it now.

“Hey, you.” He holds up one arm, and I walk to his bed, wrap my arms around him, and feel him embrace me. It makes my nose sting. For a while, I wasn’t sure he would ever be back to his old self, but he’s improved every week, and I have no doubt that he will be up and about doing all the things he did prior to his stroke before long. I just hope he doesn’t go back to his old self completely; it’s been nice actually being able to spend time with him.

He’s been a workaholic all my life, and even if I understand it’s necessary to work to earn a living, I also believe there should be a balance—especially when you have a family. With him working so much, we didn’t go on vacations or have dinners together unless there was an event we were all required to attend. I’m sure his loyalty to his job also caused his relationship with my mom to suffer. I know it mademeresent him in some ways.

“You doing okay?” he asks.

“Oh, yeah.” I quickly dab my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater before straightening. “You look great. How are you feeling?”

“Better.” His hand wraps around mine as I sit on the bed’s edge. “I walked today.”

“You did?” I flip my hand over so I can squeeze his fingers. “That’s great news.”

“It’s progress.” His eyes scan my face. “Now, tell me the truth. How are you really doing?”

“I’m okay.” I shrug, not wanting him to worry about me. “I’m taking my realtor test the week after next.”

“How do you feel about that?”

“Good. Ready.” I rub my lips together. “If I pass, I plan on finding a realtor I can work with for a while until I feel comfortable enough to step out on my own.”

“You could work at one of the properties with lots opening up and sell houses there to start,” he offers, and my stomach churns. I would love to do that. I’d love to keep working for my dad and build a name for myself, but since I began working in his office, I’ve learned I’m not welcome. And right now, I don’t have it in me to constantly tuck my tail between my legs and pretend the snide comments don’t hurt.

“I think it might be better if I go somewhere else for a while. I don’t want anyone mad at me for taking a job I haven’t earned.”