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MADISON

L eaning against the front door of my childhood home, a sickening feeling courses inside me. Ben dropped me off but didn’t stick around, saying he had a ton of homework to catch up on. I was numb from shock, unable to argue, as he stared at me expectantly like he wanted to kick me out of his car. I couldn’t even find my voice to tell him I was hoping he’d come inside.

Ben must have sensed my disappointment because he pulled me into him, his lips devouring my mouth. Excitement coursed through me. I was certain he’d come inside, we’d have sex, then I could follow in my dad’s Mustang, heading to our apartment.

Instead, he pulled away, saying he needed to go or he’d never get his homework finished, leaving me a wet, quivering mess. Too horny and stunned by him choosing homework over me, I nodded mutely when he asked me to text him later, which further cemented his desire for me to stay at my mom’s house rather than follow him to our apartment. I slammed out of his car, not even bothering to wave as I blinked back the tears.

What the fuck is going on? Frustration flows heavily inside my veins as I pace back and forth inside my mom’s living room, chewing on the side of my thumbnail. How could he kiss me like that and leave me wanting? He could have come inside for a quickie, at least.

Swallowing hard, I run up the stairs to my bedroom. Grabbing the pair of running tights and the shirt I wore earlier; I rip off my jeans and sweater that I put on for my date with Ben. For the first time in weeks, I devoted time to my appearance, straightening my hair and putting on some light makeup, only to have Ben give me a quick once over, a polite smile, and a peck on the cheek as he said I looked nice.

Nice? The anger wells up inside me like magma inside a volcano. That’s the worst compliment you can give a woman.

I yank on my clothes like they are my enemy, tugging and pulling them over my skin. My rapid breaths expel from me as I shove my feet into sneakers and head outside, sprinting toward the woods, not even bothering to warm up. My muscles comply, the anger rushing through my veins, propelling me faster as I try not to think about Ben… and Chloe.

A sickening feeling of being unwanted rises inside of me, causing tears to fill my eyes. My throat aches as I force them back, refusing to let them flow down my cheeks. I’ve cried enough lately.

Taking a different route through the forest, my feet propel me down the unfamiliar path. My eyes dart around, paying attention to my surroundings, unwilling to give in to the despair welling inside.

Just focus, Maddie. Let the endorphins from the run flow .

As I pass a tree, I see a sign that makes me draw to a stop. I saw one of these on the way into the ice cream shop but only saw the words “Missing” and a blonde’s smiling face.

My eyes trail over the poster, moving from her exuberant smile to her light brown eyes and over her golden blonde hair. A chill runs through my spine and I shiver as I study the poster. It’s one of those missing posters, a smiling blonde with honey-brown eyes staring back at me. The name beneath the picture says “ Katie Michaels,” and beneath that is a phone number to call if you see her.

I hope someone finds you, Katie Michaels.

Resuming my run, I spot a few more posters hung on trees along this trail that leads to a lake. I was planning on heading there and doing a lap around it, but now… An uneasy feeling rips through me and I look around. It feels like I’m being watched, yet I see no one. I have no idea if it’s my stalker or someone else. Although I saw him earlier at the ice cream shop, he could have gone anywhere after leaving there.

Maybe it’s whoever took Katie.

Goosebumps cover my skin. Turning around, I sprint along the trail, my eyes on the ground beneath my feet so I don’t trip over a rock or root, running like someone is chasing me, despite the burn in my lungs and ache in my thighs.

Once I’m out of the woods, my heart rate and breathing slow slightly. I slow, daring to look over my shoulder, but see no one.

It’s just your imagination.

I continue running until I reach my front door, then hurry inside, slamming and locking it behind me. I’m not sure why, but I feel compelled to go to my room and look outside the window, but I find myself running up the steps and over to the window where I caught my first glimpse of his smiling face.

There’s no one there.

A laugh bursts out of me, shaking my head at my silliness. Rubbing my hand over my sweaty brow, I head to the bathroom to shower and wash the sweat and unease away.

Once in the bathroom, I flip on the light switch, not comfortable with the shadows in the room right now. After stripping out of my clothes, I wrap a towel around myself, turning on some music. Thoughts of Ben start to creep up again, so I turn the volume up louder, grinning as “Poison” by Alice Cooper plays. One of my dad’s favorite songs.

As I’m gathering my hair into a messy bun, I step toward the basket of hair ties. My gaze moves to the window, my head turning to see the rosebush my dad planted for me when I was a kid. My movements still, all the blood draining from my face, as I see the guy in a hoodie and leather jacket standing beside it. My stalker. The guy I saw at the ice cream shop earlier, and I swear he’s the guy who outside my window just this morning.

I stare at him and oddly enough, it appears he’s gazing right at me.

As if they have a mind of their own, my feet carry me to the window, my eyes never leaving his. My fear turns into… something I don’t want to acknowledge as he plucks a red rose from the bush, holding it up toward me like someone making a toast with their glass.

What the hell?

Anger washes over me. Who the hell does this guy think he is? What is he doing in my mom’s yard?

He winks at me and mouths four words to me. “ You look beautiful today. ”

I try to convince myself my pounding heart is because a strange man is standing near my rosebush, plucking… oh hell, he just pulled off another one. My pulse pounds in my ears as his smile widens. Goddamn, why is this man so fucking attractive? The dimple in his left cheek is my undoing, a groan escaping me. Biting my lip, I back away from myself, scared of what I’m feeling.

Get control of yourself. You have a boyfriend.

My traitorous brain starts singing Ben’s faults, a stabbing pain cutting through my heart with each thought. No, stop it. You need to give Ben the benefit of the doubt and stop all this… nonsense.

Spinning around, I reach inside the shower, angrily turning the water on. Then I step inside, turning the water to cold to cool my flushed skin.

After my shower, I put on a pair of pajamas, a bittersweet smile on my lips. My dad gave me these last Christmas and told me to keep them here, so whenever I came over for our ritual Christmas eve movie fest, I could wear them when we exchanged one present and opened our stockings. These pajamas, a pair of fluffy socks, and a Halloween movie were inside the box he gave me to open.

Feeling comforted, I head downstairs but freeze when I hear the doorbell ring. My heartbeat races as I slowly approach the door. Craning my neck, I peer out through the glass in the door, but don’t see anyone. I remain unconvinced as I move toward the window beside the door, leaning over and hesitantly peering out, my gaze bouncing around rapidly. But no one is there.

From across the street, I see the UPS truck. I exhale, releasing a nervous laugh. It’s just a package being dropped off.

Certain it’s something for my mom, I pull open the door and gasp when I look at what lies in front of the door. A dozen red roses, looking every bit like the ones from my rosebush, are beautifully arranged on the porch. My gaze looks up, darting around, but I don’t see anyone.

Stepping outside, I stoop down, my hands shaking as I swoop up the flowers. As I stand with them, a folded note falls out.

Swallowing hard, I bend down, picking it up. My heart pounds inside my chest and my breath hitches when I read the words written in block handwriting. My condolences over the loss of your father. I hope these put a smile on your face, although their beauty pales in comparison to you.

My gaze darts around again, but I don’t see anyone.

Even though I should be creeped out, a smile blooms across my face as I breathe in their aroma. I’m certain the guy in the hoodie, who I refer to as my stalker, plucked them and left them for me.

I should be creeped out. Instead, I’m touched by this unexpected gift, especially the note. Hurrying back inside, I shut and lock the door and then head to the kitchen. Grabbing a vase from beneath the sink, I fill it, then artfully display the roses inside. I don’t want my mom to see these and ask questions, so I take them upstairs, setting them on the nightstand beside the bed. She seldom comes into my room, except for the night I disappeared from the gathering she held for my dad.

Guilt hits me square in the chest when my phone beeps, and I see a text from Ben, thanking me for going with him for ice cream earlier. I text back, my reply brief as my hands shake from the feelings of disloyalty coursing through me.

Shaking my head, I lay back on my bed, my thoughts racing. Stress and grief have given me a headache and made me tired.

With a sigh, I sit up, grabbing the stuffed dog. I’m missing my dad so much right now, and I wish he were here to give me a hug and some guidance.

Lying on my side, my body curling around the stuffed animal, hot tears course down my cheeks. Profound loneliness sinks into my bones, the stillness of the house even more acute.

Before long, my eyes grow heavy. As I drift off, an image of the hot guy in the leather jacket and hoodie infiltrates my thoughts. Only this time, when I picked up the roses from the porch, he walked up to me, his smile making my body tremble. I licked my lips, and he did the same. And like a moth to a flame, our bodies crashed together, his lips on mine.

When I wake, the room has grown darker as the sun begins to set. Crawling out of bed, I head over to the window and look down at the maple tree. No one is there and a swell of disappointment washes through me.

Stop it, Maddie . First, your odd reaction to him, and now you’re dreaming about him?

Even as I admonish myself, my heart speeds up when I think of that guy’s smile and dimple as he holds those flowers in his hands, extending them to me. The image is so vivid, I can see the trail of blood on his hand from the thorns that pricked his skin.

Shaking my head, I drag myself from the window, grabbing my phone. I decide to text my boss, Daya, and ask if I can work a few hours after the reading of my dad’s will, figuring I’ll need the distraction.

There are no unread texts from Ben, nor any texts at all from Chloe. I thought they’d text to ask if I was coming home.

Clearly, they don’t want you there.

My head lifts from my phone, moving to the window. I stand, drawn to it, the sun lowering over the horizon in the distance.

Standing in front of my window, my gaze lowers to the tree outside my window. One large branch extends to my window. I marvel at how much it’s grown over the years before a smile curves my lips.

Opening the window, I crawl out it, swinging my legs onto the large branch. Memories of climbing this tree under my dad’s watchful eyes, my legs swinging from branches my lower than this, assault me.

Turning my head, I watch the sun sink lower before disappearing, leaving behind breathtaking colors that streak across the sky. My legs dangle, the light breeze caressing my hair like a lover’s tender hands, pushing it away from my face. I have no idea why, and the thoughts are so wrong, but I immediately think of the guy with the beautiful smile and dimple in his left cheek.

It’s just a fantasy. He can be anyone you want.

Feeling buoyed by the thought, I close my eyes, losing myself in the fantasy.

I imagine him sitting behind me, his strong arms wrapping around me, pulling me against his muscular chest. The smell of his leather jacket infiltrates my nose as he shifts, his chin on my shoulder, hot breaths flowing on my skin.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” I imagine myself breathlessly whispering to him.

“You sure are.”

My head tilts, moving from his seductive smile to the longing in his dark eyes.

A wistful smile curves my lips. “Don’t leave me. I can’t stand being alone any longer.”

“Never.” His voice is a hoarse whisper, full of promises. “I’d never leave you, Maddie.”