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THE STALKER

M addie sits at one end of the tub, while I lay at the other end, giving her a foot massage. Her blonde hair is pinned on top of her head, a bath pillow behind her neck. She moans as I hit a spot on her foot, her expression one of pure bliss.

“You’re so fucking beautiful, Maddie Rose.”

Her eyes fly open, honey orbs glowing as they lock on mine. A faint blush colors her cheeks as a small smile curves her lips. “Thank you.” Heaving out a sigh, she says, “You’re the only one who has called me Maddie Rose since my dad died.”

“You don’t seem to mind.” My voice is gentle, prodding slightly.

“I don’t. It seems… right.” Her big toe trails down my chest. “You’re the only person who looks at me with genuine love and respect since he passed away.”

My heart squeezes inside my chest. I’m touched she said that, but I’m also aggravated that she doesn’t have people who show her how valued she is. At the same time, it’s an opening to inquire about the Ice Queen. “What about your mom?”

Maddie snorts. “She’s not in that category. My mom has never dealt with emotions well at all, including mine. It makes her great at her job, but it’s tough to have a mom like that.” Her face contorted with sadness as she whispered, “Most of my life, I sought her approval, trying to impress her. First, it was dance lessons and competitions, striving to be the best. When that failed and I got injured, I focused on school, earning excellent grades. I could’ve gone to college. I certainly had the grades for it. But… it felt like her dream and not mine, and the only thing she seemed to care about was if I attended a school she could brag about. So, I decided not to go. My dad supported it. She didn’t. It drove a deeper wedge between us.” Heaving out a long sigh, she continues. “She even blamed it on the guy I dated in high school breaking up with me. My mom said, ‘Guess you were only interested in following him to college. Now that he doesn’t want you, you’re giving up on your dream.’ It hurt and was complete bullshit. Yes, he was an asshole who hurt me, but I never planned my life around him.”

My muscles are taut, and I hate the Ice Queen even more. “Wow. That is callous. She didn’t know who you are.” My tone is soft, hurting for her.

Maddie shakes her head. “No, she never knew who I was. It’s sad. My dad knew me almost as well as he knew himself. When I told her I wanted to be a writer, she nearly had a stroke. It created even more distance between us.”

Releasing her foot, I lean forward, my hands going beneath her, lifting her onto my lap. “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

Her hands lock behind my neck as she tilts her forehead to mine. “I know you are.” She smiles at me. “You know me better than she does. Better than anyone.”

There’s too much pain in her eyes. I hate it and want it gone. “That’s because I’m your stalker, baby girl. I know everything about you.” Then I nuzzle her neck, causing her to giggle, sounding like the sweetest melody I’ve ever heard.

“You always know what to say to make me feel better.”

“I do. But not because I stalked you.” My head leaves her neck so I can stare into her eyes. “It’s because I love you.”

Her smile is genuine, reaching her eyes. “I love you, Jagger.” She presses her forehead to mine. “Has anyone ever told you how amazing you are?”

Just like that, my body stiffens. Maddie pulls back, her forehead creased from worry. She opens her mouth, but I hold up my hand.

“My mom used to tell me I was an amazing boy with a big heart. But my dad… looking back, I realize how little he complimented me. He used the excuse that he wanted me to keep striving for better when I don’t think he ever liked me very much.”

“Oh, God, Jagger.” Her eyes are full of sympathy.

I trust her. I need to tell her about my past.

“You know about the worst case of abuse. What I didn’t tell you is what happened next.” Closing my eyes, the sting of betrayal causes a sharp pain to run through my chest.

Releasing her face, my hand rubs over my heart, the desire for revenge slithering through my body like a snake.

Clearing my throat, I begin.

A fter I was treated at the hospital for the burns my dad inflicted on me with that scalding pot of water, I was able to stay at Brandt’s house for a few days. My adopted father, John Brandt, is a doctor in the Emergency Room at Falls Creek Hospital. My adopted mother, Alicia, was a nurse until she left to stay at home and raise Abby and Jason. John and Alicia convinced my dad to let them take care of me. He reluctantly agreed, but I’m fairly certain it was because John threatened him.

When I returned home, my dad was pissed. I wasn’t certain why he was so angry at me, considering he was the one who inflicted his horrible abuse on me, but hatred shone in his steely eyes. I couldn’t sleep that night or for many nights after, fearing he’d kill me.

M addie’s audible gasp pulls me from memories of my past. I pull her closer, needing to feel her warmth and strength. She tightens her grip on me, squeezing me against her body, offering her silent support.

M y dad’s addiction got worse, and with it, so did his temper. But hope entered my life in the form of a new social worker. A neighbor who had recently moved into the house across the street from us witnessed my father beating me in the front yard one day and called it in. I had no faith that this social worker would be any different from the others until she looked at me with her blue eyes and a solemn expression. When she told me she believed the injuries and neglect I suffered were the direct result of my abusive father, my heart pounded from the hope filling my chest.

She interviewed Jason’s family and told me they’d been approved as my foster family, but we had to go through the process. My heart beat hopefully, believing I finally found someone to help me. That my prayers have been answered. My social worker seemed competent and devoted to getting me out of that house and for the first time since my mom died, things seemed to be looking up.

Until the social worker betrayed me in the worst way.

Three days after my fourteenth birthday, my growling stomach woke me up late one night. I stumbled downstairs as quietly as I could, sneaking into the kitchen. I found a slice of cheese still in a wrapper, and I didn’t see any mold on it, so I quietly unwrapped it and was nibbling on it when I heard my father’s voice coming down the stairs. Thankfully, I hadn’t turned on any lights, knowing I would have been beaten for getting up. Terror filled me as my eyes darted around the kitchen, finally landing on the closet between the kitchen and living room. Soundlessly slipping inside, I pressed my ear to the door, hoping he didn’t know I was awake.

What I heard made my blood run cold.

I recognized the woman’s voice and froze. No. It can’t be. Why would she be here this late?

The voices stopped in the kitchen. I heard the scraping of chairs as they sat down and then their entire conversation, which my social worker called a “business transaction.” She wanted my dad to handle a “problem” for her. In return, she had some “good heroin and cocaine” she was going to give him.

My dad’s husky voice creeped me out when I heard him saying that wasn’t enough. He needed more.

The noises I heard after that scarred me for life. I peeked out of the closet a few times, hoping I could sneak out and go back to bed. After she finished giving him a blow job in the kitchen, they moved to the living room, where I heard their grunts and moans and the squeak of our rickety couch as he fucked her.

There was no other way to get up the stairs so I could get back to bed. I didn’t want my social worker to see me awake at this time of night, figuring she’d hold it against me, and my chances of being fostered by Jason’s family would be shot to hell.

Finally, their moans and groans stopped, and I heard their clothing rustling as they dressed. But the words she said to my dad before she left would forever haunt me. “Don’t worry about Jagger. I set it up perfectly. You’ll look like a model citizen and he will be viewed as a troubled young boy with a mental illness who lost it after his mother died.” Her evil laugh carried through the air. “He’ll be sent away and out of your hair soon.” Her heels tapped on the floor, her voice lowering. “Then you’ll be free to work for me once I get that promotion. I have big plans for our future.”

Bile rose in my throat, and I had to slap my hand over my mouth and take deep breaths in and out through my nose to prevent vomiting up the slice of cheese I’d just eaten.

How could she betray me like that ?

I didn’t have a mental illness. My attendance and tardiness at school weren’t great because of the beatings, but I still earned excellent grades, despite my spotty attendance. And yeah, I’d gotten in trouble for hitting Scott Baker when he taunted me about my dad’s problem with “drugs, alcohol, and whores,” but there were enough witnesses to back up my reason for losing my shit. After being sent to the principal’s office, my punishment had been regular meetings with the school counselor and an in-school suspension for a couple of days.

After she left and my dad went to bed, I remained inside the small closet, tears streaming down my face. I don’t know what I did to deserve all the shit I’d be dealt in life, but I was getting sick of doing the right things. Nothing good ever happened to me.

Once I finally stopped crying and peeked out of the closet to make sure it was safe, I slipped out and crept up the stairs, my broken heart in pieces as betrayal coursed through me. Thankfully, my dad’s loud snores indicated he didn’t know I was still awake and had left my bedroom.

I snuck back into my room, closing the door. Leaning against it, I stared at the dirty ceiling.

Hope floated away like a whisper on the breeze. The world was a corrupt, fucked-up place. My social worker just proved that.

Rather than go to bed, I crept over to my dirty window, looking up at the stars in the sky. “Please, Mom, help me. There must be another way. Help me get out of here and let me live with Jason’s family.” Tears streamed down my face once again. “I can’t take it anymore. I-I’d rather d-die than go to some m-mental institution.”

M addie’s scalding tears pull me from my past. My gaze, which had been blindly focused on the wall in front of the tub, focused on her.

“I’m so sorry,” Her head dips to my chest as sobs wrack her small frame.

My chin rests on her head, breathing in her honey and vanilla scent. She calms me in a way nothing else ever has. Her presence waters the seed of hope I didn’t know I still carried inside, causing it to blossom and grow. “It’s not your fault, baby girl.” Tilting my head, I bury my face in her silky hair.

“It’s just… You’re one of the best men I’ve ever met.” She stirs beneath me, and I lift my head so she can raise hers. Her fingers move to my face, stroking my jaw. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met, Jagger. After everything you’ve been through, there’s a huge heart hiding beneath your gruff, very hot exterior.”

I can’t help the chuckle that comes from my lips. “At least I’m hot.”

“Oh, you’re the hottest.” Her grin is wide, making the pain inside of me disappear. “When you first approached me with that look in your eyes like you were desperate to kiss me, I…” her face is scarlet. “I wasn’t sure why you seemed interested in kissing me. I mean, look at you.” She gestures at me. “I don’t usually call men beautiful, but after hearing you talk about your past, witnessing how you protect and care for me, and the outside package that just screams pure hotness, you’re a beautiful man, Jagger.”

My mouth drops open at her words. Her eyes are full of awe, love, and… gratitude. “My beautiful baby girl. There’s no one in this world more stunningly gorgeous than you.”

She sucks in a breath, face brimming with gratitude. “I’m so damn lucky.” Shaking her head, she exhales a long breath, cheeks turning scarlet. “I still can’t believe you chose me.”

I push her away slightly, studying her face. “Baby girl. Are you grateful for me?”

Maddie’s hands planted on my cheeks, her eyes sparkling. “Hell yes.” She presses her lips against mine, taking my breath away from the reverent way she explores my mouth with hers, showing me how much she loves me.

My hands tighten around her, pulling her so tightly against me I feel her heartbeat against my chest. My heart starts pounding perfectly with hers, as though they are dancing together. I inhale her vanilla and honey aroma, all my stress and negative thoughts and experiences from my past obliterated. There’s only her and me in the present, perfect moment. God, I’m so damn lucky to have her.

When we part, we stare at one another, content to be together.

I shake my head. “I’m grateful as fuck that I have you.” Rubbing my nose against hers, I whisper, “You’re my forever.”

Her breath hitches, and goddamn, the smile that blooms over her face is the most beautiful thing I’ve seen in my life. She tilts her head, eyes sparkling like jewels. “You’re my eternity.”

Fuck . My obsession and love for this woman, which I thought I knew the depth of, proved me wrong. My love has no bounds when it comes to her.

Maddie grows serious, biting her lip, hands rubbing over my chest. I nudge her so she’ll look at me, patiently waiting for her to talk to me. I see the question in her eyes. “Go ahead, baby girl. Ask me.”

Her face clouds over, her honey eyes darkening. “Umm… How did…” She swallows audibly, fingers trembling as her hands slip down my chest. “How did your dad—”

“I killed him.” I’m completely honest with her when I utter those words, despite my heart stuttering from the fear I’ll lose her. There’s no other option, though. I can’t lie to Maddie.

Focusing on her with laser-like precision, my gaze roams over her face, expecting to see consternation, disgust, and revulsion on her face. Instead, her honey orbs shine with sympathy and openness.

“If I tell you the story… your opinion of me won’t… change?” Even I can hear the fear tinged in every word I spoke, my heartbeat racing so fast inside my chest I’m afraid it will explode.

“Of course not, Jagger.” Her brows furrow as she stares at me like that’s preposterous. “I love you. Nothing will ever change that. I’ve told you.”

“You’re a rare gem, baby girl.” Turning to her, I cup her face reverently.

“So are you, Jagger…” Her brows furrow, a question in her honey eyes.

“Ryan. My middle name is Ryan. And my last name is Brandt. Legally changed after I was adopted.”

Maddie’s smile is wide and warm. “Jagger Ryan Brandt. I love it.”

“I love you, Maddie Rose.” I kiss her deeply, then slowly pull back. “I refuse to say your last name until it’s Brandt.”

Her breath catches, eyes lighting up as I chuckle.

Raising my brows, I say, “Did you think I wasn’t going to marry you and give you my last name?”

She giggles. “I hadn’t thought about it.”

I chuckle, planting a kiss against her lips. “There’s no thinking involved. You’re mine, I’m marrying you, you’re taking my last name.”

Giggling, she pushes me away. “Fine. Now quit stalling and tell me what happened.” Her smile takes the sting from her words. Growing serious, she says, “Tell me how you killed your father.”