Page 58

57

THE STALKER

T he cold December wind blows around me as I slowly walk to my destination, each step heavier than the last. The gloomy gray sky overhead matches my morose mood. Weaving around the tombstones, my eyes are focused on one. The only one that matters in this cemetery.

Tears fill my eyes as I grow closer. I blink rapidly, but it doesn’t keep them at bay. They trail down my face, dripping from my chin. But I don’t make any effort to wipe them away.

Stopping in front of the tombstone, my breath hitching in my chest. Pain fills my body as my eyes trace over the letters on it, then move to the date of birth and date of death.

Fuck. I can’t do this.

My fingers wrap tighter around the bouquet of flowers, squeezing them so hard I’m surprised the stems don’t break. My jaw clenches, and my entire body shakes.

Memories assault me, nearly bringing me to my knees. The horrific fiery accident that claimed my mother’s life, my dad’s spiral into addiction and depression. The abuse I suffered at his hands until I nearly gave up all hope, nearly gave up on life.

Until her.

A honey-brown-eyed five-year-old whose dad called her pumpkin. The moment I saw her being harassed by that little bastard who pulled her hair, I intervened.

It was such a small moment that altered the entire course of my life. I had no idea I fell in love with her that day because I had no idea what love was. I thought love meant certain destruction, having watched my father become a monster after my mom died.

Her childish face filled my mind, the adoration on her angelic face as she looked up at me and called her dark hero.

I spent years hoping to see her, but our paths wouldn’t cross again until she was nineteen years old, and I was a vengeful monster hell-bent on destroying her mother.

When my eyes first landed on Maddie, I was struck by her beauty, and that cemented my plan to capture her, make her fall in love with me, then break her in front of her Ice Queen mother, torturing her until I finally granted her mercy and killed her. I stalked her, learning everything about her.

Only, my obsession with her spiraled out of control and became something else entirely. Something I was terrified to admit until I had her in my cabin. I was in love with her.

I didn’t have the balls to admit it until she was there with me, giving me strength.

Then she outwitted me, sacrificing herself for my sister because Maddie loved her, Bryce, and Jason. But the main reason she did it was because she was so devoted, so in love with me, that she couldn’t bear the thought of me losing anyone else.

And then, my love made the ultimate sacrifice— herself .

She sacrificed herself for me. To save my wretched, worthless life.

I’m nothing without her.

I flashback to the click of the safety being turned off, the Ice Queen staring at me with pure venom as she squeezed the trigger. Maddie’s voice screamed my name as her small body slammed into my back, knocking me forward before rolling onto that dirty wooden floor. I crawled to her, not caring about anything else, not even aware Jason had shot the Ice Queen, then Ben, who came to and started moving toward me.

My nightmares have been replaced by Maddie’s ghostly face contorted from the agony of the bullet piercing her chest and the words that flowed between us.

“ J agger,” Her voice is weak, her face contorted from pain. “I love you.”

“No, baby girl.” I gather her in my arms, my tears dripping onto her face. “Don’t say goodbye to me. Stay with me, dammit.”

Her eyelashes flutter, her face so pale. “I’m sorry.”

“Dammit, baby girl. Don’t be sorry. Stay with me.” Leaning down, I kiss her face. “You and me. We’re forever. You can’t fucking leave me.” My voice cracks and breaks, just like the pieces of my heart.

“Tell me…” she rasps. “You… love… me.”

I’m sobbing so hard my entire body shakes as I press my lips to her face, the coldness of her skin chilling my lips. “I love you so fucking much, baby girl. I’ve loved you since I was nine fucking years old. You’re it for me. The only one I’ve ever loved. Don’t fucking leave me. Please… don’t fucking leave me.”

“I’ll… always… be… with… you.” Then her eyes closed. “Please, stay strong. Live.”

I scream, howling as the pain engulfs me, splintering my soul. “No…” I bury my face in her hair. “Please, Maddie. Don’t leave me.” Tears pour down my face like a gushing river. Soaking my skin. Falling into her hair. “I can’t let you go. I can’t live without you.”

P ulling myself from my memories, resolve fills me. I need to do this. She’d want me here.

Closing my eyes, her voice floats through my head. “I’ll always be with you.”

I smile briefly, only good memories of the two of us flowing through me. Her golden blonde hair surrounded her angelic face, and her eyes were full of love for me.

She was everything good in my world. All the colors were brighter, and I was filled with childish optimism.

The tattoo on my back was meant to cover my scars and remind me that love destroys. The giant rose lying on charred remains, its petals blazing with red hot flames, in honor of my mom, Rose.

I once had a loving mother who made my world magical as a child. Then it was ripped away from me.

My eyes flit to the tombstone in front of me. All good things come to an end in my world.

Like a tidal wave, the grief hits me so hard it nearly brings me to my knees and my composure snaps.

I need to get out of here.

My chest rises and falls rapidly, but I’m not getting enough air. My limbs tingle, and the flowers nearly slip from my fingers.

Then her voice is in my ears, her arms wrapping around my waist. I breathe in her scent, my eyes closing. “I knew you needed me, so here I am.”

My large hand covers her small one, entwining our fingers together while clutching the flowers in my right hand. “I always need you. That’ll never change.”

Her hand squeezes mine before she loosens her grip. I release her small hand, knowing what she will do next.

Moving in front of me, her arms wrap around my waist. “Don’t get mad at me for being here. I knew this day would be hard for you.”

My gaze lowers as I wrap her in my arms. “It’s freezing out here, and you should be in the car, staying warm, baby girl.” She opens her mouth to protest, and I glower at her, shutting her up. “You’re supposed to be taking it easy.”

“I am taking it easy, Jagger. All I’ve done is lay and sit around since I got out of the damn hospital.”

“That’s what you’re supposed to be doing, Maddie.” My voice is a low, admonishing growl.

Leaning up on her tiptoes, she kisses my jaw. “I love you, my overprotective, possessive as fuck stalker.”

I laugh loudly, and my eyes twinkle as they stare into hers. “And I love you, my stubborn as fuck gorgeous baby girl.”

Maddie’s smile is blinding as she says, “Well, now I feel bad. I made you sound bad the way I described you.”

I snort. “By anyone else’s standards, maybe. But by yours, hell no.” I dip my head, my mouth close to her ear. “Besides, you love that I’m your overprotective, possessive as fuck stalker.”

She giggles, and I feel the goosebumps flare over the skin from my voice. I can’t resist gliding my tongue over the small bumps along her neck, euphoria filling me as she shivers in my embrace. I know it’s not from the cold but how I affect her. She affects me in the same way.

“You forgot obsessive. And an asshole.” I kiss the shell of her ear, her sigh and happy giggle lighting up my world even though we stand in a cemetery, the shadows long from the twilight around us.

Her laugh makes me laugh harder. Pulling back, I raise my brows. “Should we be laughing right now?” My gaze moves to the tombstone in front of me. “I’m not familiar with graveside etiquette.”

Maddie giggles, cocking her head. “Even if you knew graveside etiquette, you wouldn’t follow it.” Her hands rub over my leather jacket. “Besides, we’ve never been conventional, so why start now?”

I press my lips to her forehead. “That’s why you’re perfect for me.”

“And you’re perfect for me,” she whispers, emotion clogging her voice.

We stand there in silence, breathing the other in, before Maddie says, “Jagger, you’ve experienced more hardship than anyone I know. Your mom would want you to smile and laugh. God knows you more than deserve it.”

My forehead moves against hers, my voice low and hoarse “I love you so damn much, baby girl. You’re my forever.”

She releases the most beautiful sigh, tilting her head when I remove my lips from her skin. “I love you, Jagger. You’re my eternity.”

Her hands fist my sweatshirt beneath my jacket, and she turns, moving beside me, her fingers entwining with mine. Her attention moves to the tombstone in front of us. “I’m proud of you for coming here. I know how hard it is for you.”

Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, I stare at the letters of my mom’s name, picturing her in my head. “I haven’t been here since her funeral.”

Maddie’s eyes are sad when I look over at her. “But you’re here now.”

“Barely.” I grimace. “I thought I was going to have an anxiety attack.”

The wind blows a lock of her hair in her face. She pushes it back, but I see the wince as she does. “I know. I sensed it. That’s why I’m here.”

My eyes narrow. “Are you in pain?”

“A little.” Her finger presses against my lips, shaking her head. “This is important to me, Jagger. You’ve always been there for me. Now, it’s my turn to be there for you.”

Slowly shaking my head, I’m awestruck by the amazing woman standing at my side. “How the fuck did I ever get so lucky to find you and earn your love, despite the shit I’ve done?”

Her bright smile is like the sunlight, warming every facet of me, repairing all the fractured shards of my broken heart. Or maybe she’s a full moon, cutting a path through the darkness, lighting up my world. Or maybe she’s just every damn thing I need to live. Air, sustenance, shelter, warmth, and most of all, love .

Our paths would cross when she was five, and I was almost ten years old, but it wouldn’t be until she was nineteen and I was twenty-four that our lives would entwine, becoming so deeply entrenched that neither of us could deny we were destined to be together. For an eternity.

“How did I ever get so damned lucky to find a man who is my dark hero? The one who impacted my world greatly as a child, and though we’d drift apart through forces beyond our control, we’d find our way back.” Her voice dips, a slight tremble when she says, “You found me at my lowest when I needed someone. But you weren’t just there for me. You gave me so much love, fulfilling me in ways I’ve never been before.” Cocking her head, her hand strokes my chin. “I can live without many people or things, but you’re the one I can’t live without.”

My breath hitches, so touched by her words I can barely breathe. “You have no idea how that makes me feel. How much…” I break off, a lump in my throat as tears well in my eyes. “I don’t know what to say, baby girl. We’re both fucking lucky as hell.” Lifting my left hand, I wipe the tear from her cheek. “But you’ll never have to find out. You’re stuck with me. Forever.”

Bone-aching sadness etches into her face, her expression falling. “It’s hard for me to forget…”

My face clouds, and I stop breathing, taking in the way her face is twisted in pain, knowing what she’s about to say.

“I never had any intention of leaving you, Jagger. I couldn’t stay awake. The pain was too much.”

“I know.” I tug her against me, pressing a kiss on her head. I’ve never told her how scared I was as I sobbed over, rocking her in my embrace, terrified I’d lost her forever.

With Ryan and Jason huddled around me, Jason laid his phone on the floor, and Abby’s voice screamed through my grief and agony. Following her instructions, I did chest compressions with tears pouring down my face until Jason had to take over.

Ryan delivered on his promise to get a helicopter there. I carried her to the stretcher outside, then got in with her. They weren’t happy, but I promised to stay out of the way and hold her hand. Ryan barked at them that I was going, and they relented.

I held her hand in the helicopter, refusing to let go of her as they worked on her. Once inside the hospital, they stopped me from going any further, prepping her for surgery.

It was touch and go until hours later, the doctor emerged and said she was alive. I hit my knees, sobbing, begging to see her. They finally relented when I grabbed the doctor’s leg, pleading with him.

Her heart stopped beating—twice. I know this because of my dad, a doctor, and Abby, an ER nurse at Falls Creek Hospital, where she was flown. I’ve never told Maddie I lost her twice, barely able to stomach the thought.

Each time her heart stopped beating, I felt it. As agony and despair coursed through me, mine stopped with hers, not wanting to live with her.

Thank God she pulled through and came back to me.

That gleeful moment when I held her hand in mine and felt it twitch, then squeeze, before her long lashes fluttered. Leaning forward, exhausted after days of sitting vigil in the chair beside her bed, waiting for her to wake up. Hope filled me as honey- brown eyes opened, locking with mine, a single whisper from her dry lips. “Jagger.”

Maddie’s voice pulls me from my thoughts. “I’m never leaving you again, and you sure as hell aren’t leaving me.” Her voice is a conspiratorial whisper. “I took stalking lessons from the best, so if you ever try to leave… Well, let’s say it won’t happen. You’re mine .”

Laughing again, I tighten my arms around her, always needing to touch her. It’s as though I need to reassure myself that she’s here, that I didn’t lose her.

Pulling back slightly, I look down at her glowing face. “Do I know this stalker who has been giving you lessons?”

“I hope not. You’ll kill him for looking at me.”

Snorting, I kiss the top of her head, biting my cheek to keep from laughing. “Fucking bastard. When I find him, he’s dead.”

She looks up at me with a bemused smile, honey-brown eyes twinkling. “Feel better now?”

“Much.” My hand caresses her porcelain skin. “You always know what I need.”

“Ditto, babe.” She pinches my cheek, her gaze on my dimple. I know how it affects her and use it to my advantage whenever possible.

She steps back and slowly turns, facing my mom’s tombstone again. Lifting the flowers in my hand, I blow out a breath. “I think it’s time I let these go. They belong with her.”

“They do. She’ll love them.”

“At least they aren’t all withered and dead like the last two bouquets.” I grin sheepishly at Maddie before bending down and placing the flowers beside my mom’s tombstone.

With my head bowed, I issue my heartfelt thanks for her granting my wish on the stars. Thank you, Mom. For helping me find Maddie. For giving her back to me. You know how much I need my baby girl. I can’t live without her.

Straightening, my hand automatically reaches for Maddie, knowing exactly where she’ll be without looking. By my side. Always .

“She’d understand why you didn’t come before now. The timing just wasn’t right for you. Now it is.” Maddie’s eyes roam over her tombstone before meeting mine. “I’m certain your mom would understand how hard this is for you.”

Tears are in my eyes as I stare at her name. “She never would have imagined how much my life changed after she died. She’d hate what I’ve become.”

“She’s hate that you are loving, strong, sweet, and tough? I’m sure she’d be hugely disappointed to have a son with those qualities, Jagger.” Maddie’s sarcasm makes me grin.

I shake my head, my face clouding. “I’m talking about the other stuff… What I’ve done.”

“Those things don’t define you, Jagger. Who you are is what counts, not what you’ve done .” She squeezes my hand. “And she’d be damn proud of the man you’ve become. Someone who takes care of those he loves.” She hesitates, her face clouding over. “Someone who does the hard stuff that no one else can.” Her gaze softens, her smile the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. “A man who fiercely protects and defends those he loves.” She squeezes my hand. “I’m fucking proud as hell of you.”

I laugh at her words. “You swear too much.” Winking at her, my face softens as I drink in the woman who is my entire fucking world. “You make me a better man, Maddie.”

“And you make me a better woman, Jagger.” Her smile grows wider. “Isn’t that the point?”

“Yeah. It is.” My voice is low, my heart full. My eyes drift back to my mom’s tombstone. “I’m glad I came here.”

“Good. I hope that means you’ll come again?”

My gaze moves to hers. “As long as you’re with me, I’ll visit her grave again.”

“Where else would I be, Jagger? I’m always by your side.”

I wrap my arms around her petite frame. “And I’m always by your side, baby girl.” My lips press against hers, and the memory of our first kiss assaults me. “Even when you don’t know I’m there.”

She laughs. “Stalker.”

I chuckle, then grow serious, my hands cupping her face. “Do you remember our first kiss?”

Her hands cup my face. “As if I’d ever forget. I remember it like it happened yesterday.” She gives me a sexy grin. “I don’t know if you can call that a kiss. It was so much more .” She searches my face. “There’s only one word I can think of to describe that incredibly breathtaking first kiss.”

I raise my brows. “What’s that?”

“ Home .”

Nodding, I don’t need her to say anything else because I understand it exactly. It’s how she made me feel the second my lips touched hers.

“How about a repeat performance of that kiss?”

Her face is soft, her hair lifting with the breeze, as she says, “As if I’d say no.”

I’m euphoric as I press my lips against hers, breathing in her familiar scent, my heart thumping frantically in my ears. My destiny.

Fifteen years ago, I saved her from a bully on the playground. That same day, she saved me and didn’t know it. Our paths crossed again, and in a myriad of ways, we’d save each other again. Our feelings for one another would bloom from obsession to the deepest unconditional love.

My baby girl is my sunshine after the storm. The moon that lights up my darkness. My lighthouse that guides me through turbulent waters, steering me home to her.

My love.

My life.

My eternity.