Page 22 of Do You Ship It

Dad drops us off at the party and I promise, for the umpteenth time, that I’ll see him at half-past midnight, and yes, I’ll call if we want to come home earlier.

The party is in a detached house at the end of a cul-de-sac. The blinds and curtains are all open, the lights all on, and Anissa and I hurry to the door, shivering without coats in the frigid evening air.

I knock, but the door’s already cracked open, so we step inside anyway and find the party in full swing. Charli XCX blasts out of a speaker somewhere, and there’s the stench of beer in the air. There’s a living room off to the left and I spot a couple of boys from Jake’s new football team in there, playing on the Xbox. Three girls are huddled on the staircase in front of us, the one in the middle crying, her friends alternating between soothing her and hyping her up – ‘He didn’t bloody deserve you anyway!’

‘Shall we, er …’ Anissa wavers, ‘find the kitchen?’

‘Good idea.’

There’s a lot of noise coming from the end of the hall; on the right-hand side is a dining room and conservatory filled with people. On the left, the kitchen looks a bit quieter, with only three guys and a girl standing around with drinks in hand.

They glance over at us, and one of the boys frowns, confused, not recognizing us, and I feel like we might as well have flashing neon signs over our heads saying ‘WE DON’T GO TO YOUR SCHOOL’. He says, ‘Uh, hi?’

Anissa shrinks behind me a bit.

Guess it’s up to me to take the lead. Intimidating, cool, knows-what-she’s-doing me.

Apparently.

‘Hi,’ I reply. ‘We’re mates with Jake … Jake Wandsworth? He invited us.’

‘Oh!’ The boy clicks his tongue, grinning now. ‘Wandy, yeah! He mentioned a couple of girls from St David’s were coming. I’m Raf.’

‘Hi,’ I say again, assuming this is his house and his party, and deciding I’ll tease Jake later about his college nickname. ‘I’m Cerys. This is Anissa.’

She waves, still half-hidden behind me.

‘Think he’s out in the conservatory, if you’re looking for him. He’s with that guy, uh … the one with the hair?’ Raf looks at his friends, and the blank look on the girl’s face tells me that my suspicions that Max is a far cry from Mr Popular are confirmed.

‘Matt?’ one of the other guys suggests.

‘Do you mean Max?’ I ask, and Raf snaps his fingers.

‘That’s the one! Yeah, him.’

‘Cool. Well, we’ll, uh …’ I gesture to the bottle of lemonade Anissa’s holding, and Raf waves us in the direction of some glasses. The four of them resume their conversation, having to talk loudly to be heard over all the music and noise, which somehow helps give me and Anissa a little breathing space.

I’m glad I brought her with me; this would’ve been terrifying to walk into alone, and I can only imagine what the other girls would have to say about Max.

Anissa pours us each some of the spiked lemonade, and we cheers before taking a sip.

I pull a face, looking at her quizzically.

Anissa lowers her glass, licking her lips thoughtfully and frowning before she says, ‘You know, I don’t think my mum actually put any gin in this.’

‘I don’t think she did either.’

‘I think she was hoping I wouldn’t know well enough to notice.’

‘Probably.’

We lock eyes for a beat before we erupt into giggles, toasting our not-so-spiked-after-all drinks once more. Anissa shakes her head, muttering under her breath in a way that makes me laugh all over again.

‘I’m just going to nip to the loo,’ Anissa says. ‘Will you wait here for me? Then we can go find the boys.’

‘Yes! Sure.’ I don’t love the idea of being stuck by myself, but I don’t want to abandon Anissa, and this place is so packed it might be ages before we find each other again. I take her glass of lemonade, and am trying to decide whether to go talk to Raf and his friends or if I can lean against the kitchen counter looking cool, when someone sweeps into the kitchen from the living room and my heart plummets.

Her hair is down for once, in carefully styled black curls around her shoulders, and she’s wearing a pale blue minidress, cheeks flushed and eyes bright, an empty glass in her hand.

And even though she hasn’t noticed me immediately, even though I want to run in the opposite direction before she can see me , I blurt, ‘ Daphne? What are you doing here?’

What is she doing here? I never told the girls any details about the party, and I made it sound like I was going with Jake, rather than as this little group including Max and Anissa, and – and oh my God , Max and Anissa are here, and Daphne is here, and …

Why is she here?!

She breaks into a grin, dashing over to throw her arms around me. I can smell the alcohol on her breath, sweet and potent, and her palms are clammy as she holds my arm.

‘Oh my gosh, Cerys! This is such a small world! You should’ve said it was Raf’s party you were coming to!’

‘Do you … know … Raf?’ My head is swimming. This cannot be happening.

‘Not really. We’re friends on Insta. Do you remember that guy I told you about, in the year above at college? Daniel?’

‘The rugby guy? But I thought that fizzled out?’

‘It did, but then he messaged me the other day totally out of the blue. Well, he fire-emoji reacted to my outfit of the day, so I messaged him, which, I know , I know we said I shouldn’t and I should be done with him because he was so flaky, but then he invited me tonight because he plays rugby with a bunch of the Colleg Carreg guys and … Oh my gosh, please don’t be mad, Cerys, I swear I was totally going to tell you all! I was just embarrassed it wouldn’t work out, but he’s been so flirty all night, and it’s going really well!’

I’m too overwhelmed to say much beyond, ‘That’s … Wow, Daphne.’

Relief washes over me. She’s here for a boy. Of course she is. This has nothing to do with me .

Tipsy, she leans in, swaying slightly, and babbling, ‘And I thought, well, I couldn’t bring you lot with me, like backup. Nikita would’ve shown up in a trench coat and a fake moustache, haha! And it would’ve been weird. Like, you were coming to a party for a boy, and we weren’t all tagging along. It’s sort of a date! But I don’t know anyone else here, and it’s a bit … I mean, everyone’s lovely, obviously, and I’m with Daniel, so.’

‘Right. Yeah.’ I’m not sure what her point is, and if she’s just drunk or if she’s genuinely worried I’m about to tell the girls she went somewhere without us and she’ll be ousted from the group.

Mostly, I’m thinking: I have to get out of here before Anissa comes back from the toilet, and Daphne sees her.

‘Should you be getting back to Daniel, then?’ I ask, and my stomach knots even as she beams.

‘Yes! And you should be getting back to Jake.’ She nods at the second lemonade I’m holding, and I don’t correct her. Daphne grabs a bottle of white wine off the counter, splashing some into her glass, then she winks at me. ‘Come find me later, though – I want you to introduce me properly! I can interrogate him about why he hasn’t snogged your face off already, LOL!’

‘Ha. Yeah. Great.’

Okay, add to list of people Daphne cannot interact with tonight: Anissa, Max, and Jake.

She’s out of the kitchen, though, and Anissa is back – they miss each other by mere seconds. The relief makes me dizzy, but I rush forward to Anissa, who is smiling, none the wiser, and say, ‘Come on – let’s go find Jake.’

We find him in the conservatory as promised. There’s a TV that’s not turned on, the doors are open to the garden, and most of the room is taken up by worn, brown leather sofas. Jake is squashed into one with about five other people, telling a story. He’s got a whole crowd hanging off his every word, his infectious smile matched on their rapt faces.

Lurking by the side of the sofa, shoulder leaning against the doorframe and arms crossed, his usual bored and irritably aloof expression in place, is Max.

His eyes snap to mine in the same second I notice him, and it almost stops me in my tracks. He drops his arms slightly, stands a bit straighter.

He looks good .

And not just ‘boy in football kit’ good, but …

I sigh internally, because ‘sexy’ is not a word I would ever want to associate with Max, and yet. And YET .

He’s wearing dark-wash jeans and a black sweatshirt that manages to strike the perfect balance between casual and flattering, the long sleeves pushed up near his elbows. His hair is in that stupid some-up-some-down bun again, except right now I really have to (and hate to) admit to myself that it looks very much the opposite of stupid; his hair looks shiny and wavy in a way I almost envy.

Someone leaves the room, and Anissa bumps into me as she moves to let them past, reminding me exactly what motivated me to invite her here in the first place. Jake, playing up to his audience, still hasn’t noticed us.

‘Come on,’ I say to Anissa, and we pick our way across the room. When we get close to Max, she steps to my side instead of huddling behind me, and I say, ‘Anissa, this is the guy I was telling you about –’

But I don’t get much further, because then Jake suddenly cries, ‘Cerys! You’re here!’ and leaps out of the sofa with surprising agility considering he was rather hemmed in by all the people piled on with him, and I’m engulfed in a hug while Anissa and Max are left to make their own introductions. I’m relieved to hear them both speaking quietly behind me.

Jake wiggles me side to side, and I laugh, realizing he’s already tipsy. I can smell the cider on his breath, matching the almost-empty bottle in his hand. When he finally releases me, I notice he’s in his usual partywear of a blue shirt I once told him brings out his eyes, and his favourite brown chinos.

He looks good, too.

Just not quite as –

Nope. NOPE. We are not even entertaining that thought, Cerys, shut up.

Jake takes in my dress, and says, ‘That’s new. Does it fit? It looks a bit big by here.’ He gestures to his own chest, and even though it stings, even though of course he would notice, I was stupid to think he wouldn’t, I remember The Plan and swipe lightly, playfully at his arm.

‘Is this another display of the famous Wandsworth charm, Jake? You staring at my boobs within three seconds of seeing me?’

He laughs, holding his hands up, and pulling a ‘whoops’ sort of face. I suppose a bit like that misguided attempt with Daphne’s lipgloss, at least he is noticing me, and that’s a step in the right direction.

‘You look very nice, Cerys,’ he says, sincerely, and the smile he gives me – the way he looks me right in the eyes, all soft and lovely and familiar – makes me feel warm and fuzzy in a way no amount of gin-spiked lemonade ever could have.

‘Thank you.’ I let my eyes flick slowly up and down his outfit, too, and I let him notice. ‘You don’t look so bad yourself, Jake.’

‘Scrub up alright, don’t I?’ He winks, then slings his arm around me as he turns me to face Max and Anissa. ‘Alright, Anissa? Good to see you!’

‘Y-yeah, um, you too.’

‘Wish we’d known sooner you were so into Of Wrath and Rune . You could’ve come to Comic Con with us! Next time, though, yeah? It’ll be sick.’

‘I’d love that! I was telling Cerys earlier, I’ve never really had anybody to share the fandom stuff with, and Comic Con seemed way too intense to go to on my own. I didn’t even realize they did them outside of London.’

Excitable, animated, the words spill out of her, and she misses the stunned double-take that Jake does that says, Really? Anissa, a chatterbox?

The look I give him in response says, Tell me about it! And I bump my hip to his to make sure he’s paying attention to her.

‘I looked into going to a Dungeons and Dragons night at one of the board-game cafes in town before,’ she’s saying now. ‘There’s a couple of podcasts I listen to about it, like The Adventure Zone and Critical Role and stuff, and it seems so cool. I even made a whole character sheet! It said it was for new players, but I sort of chickened out …’

‘Shut up . No, dude, mate, yes , right.’ Jake is so swept up that he can hardly form a sentence, and I laugh – until he drops his arm from around me to grab Anissa. ‘I would totally go to that with you! I play with my brother and some of his mates, and it’s mostly over video chat and stuff now, but we haven’t done that in ages . I play a bard, obviously, I’m a nat 20 charisma through and through, like I was ever going to play anything else …’

And just like that, they’re gone, falling on to a vacant chair, Anissa with her feet propped up on the seat and Jake with his legs straddling the arm, hands waving wildly as he speaks and Anissa’s own enthused gestures no less passionate, both talking a mile a minute.

I blink. What just happened?

Have I …

Have I just been usurped again , and given Jake his ideal fandom-loving girlfriend in Anissa, instead of showing him that I’m that girl?

This isn’t … That wasn’t …

She was supposed to bond with Max , not Jake!

A fingertip brushes lightly under my chin, pushing my gaping mouth closed where my jaw has plummeted to the floor. I jump at the touch, mouth snapping shut, and turn to see Max smirking at me, eyes glittering.

‘Think he’s found a new best friend,’ he says.

‘ Again .’

I don’t mind that it comes out sounding sharp or bitter, and Max just inclines his head, taking the dig annoyingly gracefully.

‘I take it you weren’t expecting that to happen.’

‘He knew her at school! They’ve barely ever said “hello”! I thought they’d get on alright, but …’

Max gives a breath of laughter. ‘The power of fandom, huh? Cursed be ye who try to get between two nerds once they get going about their D&D campaigns.’

‘Yeah, apparently.’

Brilliant.

Now I’ve lost two friends, the only people I know at this godforsaken party except for Daphne, who I need to avoid for obvious reasons, and I’m stuck. With Max.

I gulp down the rest of my lemonade, forgetting for a moment that it’s not something stronger.

He pushes away from where he’s leaning against the edge of the patio doors, casting another bemused look at Jake and Anissa before looking back to me. ‘Do you want to get a drink?’

‘I thought you’d never ask.’