Page 16 of Do You Ship It
Comic Con is … a strange experience. But despite it being busier and bigger than the convention I went to with Jake in September, it’s a lot less intense and overwhelming – probably due to the presence of more mainstream fandoms like Star Wars or Marvel. Max ends up not bothering with a panel Jake wants to see, and we lose him for a while afterwards so I actually get to spend some time alone with Jake, which is a relief.
Or it would be, if I didn’t feel like Max was suddenly avoiding me. I don’t even know what I did to upset him so much that he suddenly can’t bear to put up with me, and while I think that’s more of a him problem, I still feel guilty that I might have spoiled his enjoyment of the day.
Still, Jake and I get to hang out just the two of us, and it’s like old times.
It’s better than old times.
Maybe that’s just the recent distance talking, but I think it’s got more to do with how he’ll take my hand every so often so we don’t get separated. Without Max third-wheeling, we both get swept up in the atmosphere of the convention – or, rather, Jake does, and his excitement is so infectious that I’m just happy to share it with him. He darts between stalls selling merchandise and autographs and samples of mead we’re not old enough to taste even though he tries valiantly to persuade the stall owner; he gushes about celebrities and snaps photos from afar of them at their signing tables, and I get a little thrill at seeing some of the OWAR cast in real life, although my favourite characters aren’t here. Then, when Jake spots someone dressed in a really high-quality Mandalorian costume, I offer to take a photo of him, but he insists on asking a stranger so we can be in the picture together.
He grins at the photo afterwards, both of us striking silly poses while the person in cosplay looks more like a professional from the Disneyland parks, and uploads it to Instagram – making me so glad I’m not in cosplay, and dressed cute instead.
‘An official memento of our first Comic Con together,’ he tells me, beaming so wide that his mouth splits from ear to ear, and my heart flutters – it sounds like he’s saying it’ll be the first of many things the two of us do together, and I like that thought a lot.
Taking full advantage of our alone time, I do my best to flirt with Jake. When we look at the lightsabers on sale, I make him teach me how to hold it, relishing when he stands behind me with his arms all the way around my body, encasing me against him while his hands settle over mine, guiding my arms …
Although he does make all the ‘whoosh’ noises in my ear, which puts a real dampener on the romance of the situation.
I no longer hesitate to reach for his hand, even when the crowds aren’t too thick, and he tugs me along eagerly to each new corner of the convention, his fingers interlocked firmly with mine, his palm warm and smooth. When we wait in line to get some bottles of water, I play with my hair and tell him how good he looks today, how nice his hair looks, how brilliant it is to see him in his element like this and how glad I am that we get to share it. Then I purposely don’t buy my own drink – and Jake, of course, offers me a sip of his, which is hardly the first time but feels different now, like this, when there’s just the two of us, and it’s not some big group outing to Barry Island in the heat of summer, passing around a Diet Coke.
I really try my best. I go all-in, as bold as I dare to be.
The place is so packed, it almost grants us privacy: everyone is too preoccupied to pay any attention to us.
Unfortunately, though, every time I think me and Jake are truly having A Moment and something is going to happen … he gets too preoccupied by something else going on around us that it never gets a chance to fully manifest.
Now, though, we’re squashed into a standing-room-only panel that includes the guy who plays Daxys in Of Wrath and Rune , and Jake is forced to stand flush against my back. I’m acutely aware of everywhere the lines of his body are pressed into me, far closer than when we looked at the lightsabers, and the unexpected proximity makes me positively vibrate with excitement. He initiated this one, I’m sure of it. He could’ve kept a bit of space between us if he really wanted to, right? I have to fight to stand totally still.
Jake leans his chin on to my shoulder, the side of his forehead resting against mine. ‘You alright? You’re stood all funny.’
‘Fine!’ It comes out a bit reedy and thin, and he tries to shuffle back to steal another inch of space so I can be more comfortable, putting an arm lightly over my shoulder as if to buffer me from the person on my left. I can’t very well explain that it isn’t the crowds that’re making me so awkward, but I appreciate the chivalry and throw him a grateful smile. When he stands holding me so casually like this, it’s as if we really are boyfriend and girlfriend. I let the daydream take over a bit and relax. Jake rests his head against mine again to see the panel better, and it’s so lovely that I never want it to end. My skin tingles where he touches me, even through all the layers of clothes between us.
If this were real, I think, if he’d just ask me to be his girlfriend, we’d never have to think twice about this sort of affection …
Jake is just perfect boyfriend material. He’s truly the sort of guy that romcom movies are made of: kind and sweet and funny and attractive, so inherently likeable and loveable, and we go together so well. It’d be impossible not to have a crush on him.
I just wish he’d realize .
Short of outright declaring my feelings for him by singing ‘Can’t Take My Eyes Off You’ as I dance down some bleachers, 10 Things I Hate About You- style, I just don’t know what else to do to make him see it.
By mid-afternoon, we still haven’t found Max, and Jake insists on getting out of the crowds to text him and try to track him down.
But we were having such a good time without our third-wheel …
‘I thought you wanted to try and beat the queue to see that guy from the Lord of the Rings show?’ I say.
Jake winces. ‘Isildur will have to wait.’
‘But you said you wouldn’t have time to see him and get a picture with Daxys.’ It’s not that I don’t want to find Max, but … I mean, he’s seventeen, he’s a big boy, he can look after himself, and it’s only some hall full of nerds.
Jake, though, shakes his head. ‘It’s okay. I already got him to sign my poster at the last one. I just didn’t get a photo with him … But we should really find Max, it’s been ages. And this sort of thing is way more fun with others than by yourself.’
I barely hide my flinch, realizing that the tables have turned: here, I am the third-wheel, I am the one who’s gotten in between them and spoiled their day together, sharing in something they love and have been looking forward to for months.
I am the one who was pointedly not invited to evenings spent building cosplay wings together.
So I wait patiently as Jake tries phoning (it goes to voicemail) and then sends a couple of texts. It is good of him to check in on his mate, I suppose, and it does feel like maybe it’s my fault that Max has gone AWOL …
I’m sure he has no such conscience when he’s the one interfering.
Jake looks a bit agitated, gripping his phone in both hands and staring at the screen as if he can will Max to reply. I put my hand on his arm, my fingers curling around lightly, ready to pull him along.
‘Shall we do a loop of the hall?’ I suggest. ‘He’ll be here somewhere. And he should be easy to spot, especially with his wig.’
‘Between the Legolas, Daemon Targaryen and Witcher cosplays that are here, I wouldn’t be so sure …’
Of course he’s right; I quickly realize there’s an unprecedented amount of guys in long, white-blonde wigs. But we do a circuit of the hall anyway, eyes raking over queues for autographs or the crowds around lightsaber displays, until there’s a cry not far off, several voices in unison yelling, ‘BE YE A RASCAL, ROACH?’ and descending into cheers and laughter.
I cut Jake a look, finding he’s brightened considerably. ‘Do you think that’ll be him?’
He laughs, and starts off at a jog towards the group of OWAR fans behind a row of merch stalls. There are two girls in Lady di Silver cosplay, though both wear her usual armour rather than the green dress, a guy with a very impressive set of huge, leather-look mechanical wings as Daxys, two more less-impressive Moonwalkers, and a few other miscellaneous character cosplays – including a guy with a minotaur head tucked under his arm.
In the midst of them all, in his wig and pauldrons, is Max, and –
‘Holy shit,’ Jake breathes, now I’ve caught him up. He grasps my arm tight, though his eyes are wide and fixed ahead. ‘ Holy shit. Cerys, is that … Is that …? That’s …’
It’s Daxys. Well, the actor who plays him.
And he’s got his arm slung around Max like they’re good buddies. He’s such a huge man – easily six and a half feet and barrel-chested, bald and with a smile that crinkles his eyes – that he practically dwarfs Max by comparison.
The group of fans gathered around them are reacting to his presence much the same way as Jake: eyes bugging wide and hardly blinking; mouths fallen open in glee; their entire bodies positively vibrating with excitement at this unfiltered, unguarded interaction with a favourite character and beloved actor.
Max, for his part, has his usual cool, borderline-bored expression on his face, as if he could not care less that he is currently being embraced by Jake’s idol. Daxys (what is the actor’s name? For all Jake’s talked about him, my brain blanks now. Bryan? Bernard?) is chatting affably to Max and the group.
‘Go over there!’ I whisper to Jake. ‘Go say hi.’
‘Are you crazy? I can’t!’
‘You already met him. You were literally going to pay thirty quid to get a selfie with him.’
‘Yeah, but – but –’
He’s totally starstruck, and I can’t blame him. This guy is his Anne Hathaway, his Joey King, his Zoey Deutch.
Luckily for Jake, I’m not felled by quite the same affliction, and hook my arm firmly through his before raising my other hand in a wave to call, ‘Max! We’ve been looking everywhere for you!’ I pull us through the crowd towards Max. And then, to the actor, I add, ‘Hi, hello.’
When he turns to look at me, my body threatens to turn to jelly simply from the full force of his blatant charisma, and the sudden realization smacking me in the face that a TV star is two feet away from me, looking at me, saying hello.
He grins at us, then says to Max, ‘Friends of yours, Moonwalker?’
‘Oh my God, I’m dead, I’ve died,’ Jake whispers to me.
Max nods, but his eyes linger a moment on me. I expect some snarky remark from him about how I, too, was meant to be in full cosplay, but he just says, ‘This is Cerys, she’s very new to the fandom –’
‘Oh, nice! How’re you finding it? I’d ask your favourite character, but obviously I know the answer’s going to be me!’ Daxys winks, laughing, and it’s a jolly sort of laugh that makes him sound more like Father Christmas than a professional warrior faerie. ‘You’re enjoying the show, though?’
‘Absolutely! Yes! I love it!’
As if I’d dare say anything but when face to face with one of the leads like this, but I did genuinely enjoy it. I must overdo it a bit though, because Max raises an eyebrow at me.
He interjects, ‘And this is my mate, Jake. He was meant to come dressed as you, actually, but had a wing malfunction.’
‘Hey,’ jokes the actor. ‘Been there! Very on-brand for Daxys of you.’
Jake goes to say something, but instead it comes out as a high-pitched warble. I say for him, ‘He’s a huge fan. We were at the Worlds Beyond con last month, too.’ Look at me, using the lingo, calling it a ‘con’!
He snaps his fingers, shaking his hand at Jake as he nods. ‘Yes! Dude, I remember you. You had that sick original poster that I signed. I was just saying to your friend here that I remembered him. One of the best Moonwalker looks I’ve seen on the circuit. The bandolier looks fresh off the set – even got the stitch marks from where Grayson repairs it after he gets stabbed.’
He claps Max on the shoulder with another broad grin, and Max mumbles, shrugging as if it’s no big deal.
Judging by the reaction from the little crowd around us, it’s a very big deal.
A woman in a lanyard and a black T-shirt slips forward as if from nowhere, and despite being all of five foot nothing, murmurs quietly in the actor’s ear and he nods, expression serious, before turning to all of us.
‘Sorry, everyone, that’s my cue to get going. I’m over on the signing tables now if you want to come by and get a photo or an autograph, and we can chat a little more. But …’ He grits his teeth, bounces from one foot to the other, and sighs before saying, ‘Ah, I’m not strictly allowed to do this, but let’s grab a group selfie, yeah? I’ll put it on my socials later for you guys to find. Okay, everyone get in. Moonwalker Max, get in here! Come on, guys, we all ready?’
He crouches at a bit of an odd angle to get all of us in the shot, his arm slung around Max’s shoulder still, and twenty or so of the rest of us grinning behind them. Jake’s face presses close to mine as he squashes in closer, and I feel a fizz of warmth to experience his joy second-hand.
I’m not worried about anyone I know seeing this photo: they’d have to be an OWAR fan themselves for it to show up on their feeds at all.
The actor tells us all goodbye, and most of the group disperses to follow him to his signing table, chattering loudly. Jake clings to me with sweating palms and shallow breaths as a few stragglers chat to Max.
‘This is the best day ever,’ he whispers, almost to himself, then gives me a quick, fierce hug and a kiss on the cheek. ‘You’re the best . Thanks, Cerys. I owe you one!’
My whole face turns hot, the place where his lips pressed into my cheekbone for that too-brief moment sparking like he’s ignited a whole host of fireworks beneath my skin, and I’m breathless, so taken aback I can’t react – can’t even turn towards him and take his hand, keep him close, hope for a real kiss.
He’s never done that before! He’s a hugger, but that kind of affection, a kiss on the cheek … That’s wildly out of character for Jake.
It has to mean something, doesn’t it? All my attempts at flirting earlier must have paid off, hints he’s finally, finally , picked up on, to make a little move of his own!
Jake, luckily, is too caught up in the adrenaline of everything that just happened to notice my internal screaming.
The others finally split off, leaving just me, Jake and Max.
‘Holy shit,’ Jake says again. He’s shaking, and holds his hands out to demonstrate before raking them through his hair. Then, all at once, he blinks and surges forward to grab Max tightly by the pauldrons on his shoulders, standing close as he says, ‘Brayden Brown knows who I am. He knows who you are. He knows your name . Holy shit! Did that really just happen? How did you even get talking to him?’
‘I-I didn’t, I just – it sort of …’
Now, suddenly, Max is flustered. The aloof demeanour has vanished and his face is almost ashen, mouth slack and eyes tracking back and forth without really seeing anything. I’m so stunned that all I can do is gawp at him.
I’d never have guessed he was just playing it cool in front of Daxys. I thought he was just being … Max.
This show of such raw emotion is so unlike him, my jaw actually drops to see it.
‘What happened?’ I ask. Somehow, I don’t think Max – a die-hard fan and beyond starstruck beneath the surface – just approached the actor out of nowhere.
He rubs his jaw, not looking at me as he answers – although this time he’s not really looking at Jake either, so I don’t take it personally for once. ‘I really don’t know. I just got talking to a couple of people, some OWAR fans who wanted to grab a photo because of my cosplay, and then he just walks up out of nowhere … I guess there’s a green room or something nearby. He came up to us – to me. He said he remembered me from the Worlds Beyond con and had meant to say hi because he liked my costume, thought it was impressive. And then all these other people started gathering around and … I think I blacked out a bit.’
Then he looks at Jake, a disbelieving laugh on his lips, and he grabs Jake by the shoulders, too, both of them tangled up and foreheads close.
‘Brayden effing Brown knows who we are !’
I watch them both freak out, and I can’t pinpoint what exactly causes the shift, but this time Jake’s excitement isn’t infectious. It’s like someone dropped a curtain between us, and I’m on the sidelines watching it happen, not part of it anymore. It leaves me deflated, robbed of my own joy at Jake finally making a move to kiss me on the cheek, and how good our day together was.
My eyes shift from Jake, chattering breathlessly and a mile a minute to Max as he recounts every moment of his interaction with Brayden Brown and his shock at us finding Max in the middle of it all.
The culprit. The interloper.
The reason me and Jake have had so many almost-moments and near-kisses lately that have led to nothing at all. Because he’s always there.
I have to find a way to get rid of him, before I lose my chance with Jake for good.
Private chat with @silversmithhh
@silversmithhh
CERYS!!!!
@mythicwitch
!!!???
@silversmithhh
Cannot believe I missed you at Comic Con Saturday I was on the lookout for your fab cosplay but didn’t see you anywhere!
@mythicwitch
Oh I didn’t end up wearing it! To be honest I chickened out … Cosplay is NOT my usual sort of thing lol, it felt too weird. But at least I have it ready if I ever change my mind for the next one! I’m sorry. Thanks for the help with ideas to pull the look together though x
@silversmithhh
That’s totally fair enough, everyone approaches fandom differently and shows their love for it in different ways too! You don’t need to apologize to me haha, I had fun helping you search for ideas! My own Adanna di Silver cosplay is very much armour-focused
@silversmithhh sent 1 photo
@mythicwitch
You look BADASS!
@mythicwitch
Wait
@mythicwitch
This might sound really weird but did you see that selfie Brayden Brown took? And the guy dressed up as the Moonwalker?
@silversmithhh
DID I SEE IT
@silversmithhh
Honey I was IN IT
@silversmithhh
Hang on, isn’t Runic Rascal your friend who introduced you to the fandom/Discord/etc? I didn’t get the chance to chat to him properly!
@mythicwitch
Yes! And I was in the photo too! I thought I recognized you in your pic – I’m literally two people left of you in the Brayden Brown selfie!
@silversmithhh
AS IF
@silversmithhh
I CANNOT BELIEVE WE WERE RIGHT THERE AND HAD NO IDEA! Internet friendships be wild, man
@mythicwitch
Haha tell me about it! At least we know who we’re looking for at the next one!
@silversmithhh
Yes! BTW, this fic just completed … It’s an arranged marriage AU where Devon accompanies Adanna to the capitol for her to marry into the royal family, which OF COURSE doesn’t go to plan
@silversmithhh
It’s honestly just tooth-rottingly sweet fluff with a top-tier kiss scene, and zero plot spoilers for the show
@mythicwitch
Count me in!
GIRLIE POPS!
Evie
Umm Cerys why has Jake tagged you in a photo at COMIC CON?! I thought you said you guys were just hanging out this weekend! You didn’t say anything about this!
Daphne
HE TAGGED YOU IN A PHOTO?!?! Omgomgomg
Nikita
HUGE NEWS
But also … Comic Con? Really????? Haha
Chloe
Sounds like a cute date idea! Putting the ‘convention’ in ‘unconventional’ at least
Evie
That was TERRIBLE Chlo lol
Daphne
It’s a cute pic though! You guys look ADORABLE together! But yeah why didn’t you say he was taking you to Comic Con?! That’s … kind of a choice from Jake!
Me
Haha it was kind of a last minute thing, he thought it’d be a laugh
Nikita
Oh like an ironic thing? Lol love it
I can’t believe people actually PAY to go to these geekfests?! It’s so weird
Evie
I so do not get it. Like don’t you have better things to do than watch people talk about Star Wars all weekend?
Chloe
I could NEVER!!!
Daphne
Pls say the annoying third-wheel guy didn’t tag along again?!?
Me
Sadly HE DID
Evie
Jake needs to learn what boundaries are, wtf?!
Me
I know … But!!! He was off at some of the panels and stuff so me and Jake got to hang out a lot just the two of us
AND
GET THIS
He kissed me!!!
Well
He kissed me on the cheek, but still! It’s a move in the right direction, isn’t it?
Daphne
SCREAMING
Nikita
Yasss girl get your man
Evie
That is SO cute
Chloe
I need a FULL debrief on this asap!!