Page 35 of Die for You (Kiss or Kill #2)

ONE MONTH LATER

“G uarda, Mamma!”

I stop punching the bag and smile when Lettie comes bursting through the door, holding a pink box that is bigger than she is.

“What do you have there?” I ask her, dropping to a squat.

The outside of the box reveals that inside is a pair of LED light-up roller skates.

Lenny walks in a second later, carrying many bags in both hands.

I arch a brow, looking at him.

He smiles innocently.

“Is Lenny spoiling you again?”

Lettie sits on the floor, tonguing her cheek as she rips open the box. Lenny places the bags beside her and stands behind me, watching.

He doesn’t want to crowd her as we’ve agreed it’ll be too confusing for her if we just dump that he’s her biological father. She still calls Nico Papa , which kills Lenny. But we’re all trying to get along for Lettie’s sake.

When she’s old enough, we will tell her the truth, but for now, we’re all one big happy family.

I couldn’t just expect Nico to go back to Italy and forget about his family because that’s what we are. Although the circumstances have changed, I’ll never forget what Nico did for me. Eventually, he’ll have to return to Italy as his visa will expire, but until then, he lives with us.

Lenny has been surprisingly good about it. I think he respects Nico, not that he’d ever admit it. Nico protected us when Lenny couldn’t. So, in his eyes, he owes Nico.

But that’s the sacrifices one makes for their child. Lenny can see how much she loves Nico, and Nico isn’t pushing for any parental rights.

Lenny has put him behind the register at the store. He has no idea he’s selling drugs inside those crystals. Not all the customers are buyers, however. It gives Nico something to do and to practice his English.

Our household isn’t divided.

We sit at the same dinner table together.

We take turns looking after Lettie.

The only thing we don’t do together is share a bed.

Lenny has made it very clear that Nico was welcome here, but he was to understand that I was Lenny’s, and blah, blah…all that alpha shit which…yawn.

Nico respected my decision. Besides, he isn’t lacking any female attention. The moment women hear his accent, they’re a goner.

But I need to remember, just because I’ve checked out, that doesn’t mean he has. I’m trying to be sensitive to his feelings, but it’s a little hard when I finally have my HEA with the man I’ve loved for as long as I can remember.

Things are surprisingly…good.

It’s surreal, to be honest.

After the very public display of cutting off Gianna’s head, the orphanage was inundated with donations. No doubt hush money. But I’ll keep to my word because I never want to see or deal with any of those assholes again.

I work closely with the sisters to ensure the kids are safe. The money has come in handy as the orphanage is undergoing a facelift. The kids will never go without ever again.

I visit Elena weekly. I wish I could adopt her, but I won’t until I figure out what my future holds. It’s a lot to take in and change must come. It makes sense to stay here, but it’s hard not to feel like the “other woman.”

Lettie asks Lenny to help her put on her skates. He attempts to hide his excitement that she asked, but fails miserably.

I leave them to daddy-daughter time and decide to go for a run.

Grabbing my earbuds, I decide to make the most of the day. Spring is coming, my favorite time of the year. It’s time for new beginnings and rebirth. Seems fitting.

Selecting a playlist, I commence a slow jog around the gardens. Lenny’s home is beautiful. But it’s not my home. This is the home he built with Bria. Her spirit lingers. I can feel it. Her ghost roams the halls, and sometimes, I catch her from the corner of my eye.

I know it’s just my guilty conscience playing tricks on me, but I feel uneasy here. Even sleeping in their marital bed at first gave me nightmares. She’s haunting me. Or rather, what I did to her is.

Lenny had Bria buried with Aldo. No ceremony was held. Lenny had his men take care of it. He was the only one in attendance. We don’t speak about her because I know it hurts him. He made a choice. But it’s evident he did love Bria, just how I do Nico.

But it’s a different kind of love.

I pick up the pace and venture into the thick, wooded area that extends around the back. The blaring music spurs me on.

I think back to Gianna and her death. I wish I could kill her again and again. But it’ll never be enough.

This is the end, but I can’t help but feel…incomplete. Like this ending is so…anticlimactic.

The bad guy loses, and we live happily ever after? I can’t help but think, where’s the catch?

After living a life filled with pain, perhaps I’m not used to being happy.

But something feels amiss.

I can’t put my finger on it.

Something just doesn’t feel right.

Like this was too easy?

Seems ridiculous because nothing has been easy thus far.

I’m just being paranoid.

Things are good. But too good?

I’m wrestling with my mind, and it’s exhausting. Who needs enemies when you have the brain of an overthinker?

I try to ignore this bad feeling in the pit of my stomach and run faster. But my anxiety only builds. The faster I run, the closer I feel to falling into an abyss.

My smartwatch beeps as my heart rate is dangerously high.

I suddenly can’t breathe.

I come to an abrupt stop and bend forward, placing my hands onto my knees. I’m still tender from my injuries, but this is different.

I feel sick. Like something is very, very wrong.

The same feelings overwhelmed me when I was in Italy. When Lettie was taken.

No, please, God. Not again.

I take off toward the house, focused on nothing but getting there. I get back within minutes.I run toward the gym, hoping they’re still there, but they’re not.

“Fuck!” I curse.

My feet can barely keep up as I sprint to the house and burst through the back door. I give the housekeeper the fright of her life. “Sorry, Betty, have you seen Mr. Shepherd?”

Betty looks afraid to answer. “No.”

Panic turns to hysteria when I hear Lettie scream.

It’s coming from the porch.

My sneakers skid on the polished floors as I shoulder open the front door. “Lettie!”

However, once outside, I don’t understand what I’m seeing because it’s not what I thought. Not by a long shot.

Lenny gives me a puzzled look, while Lettie happily waves. She’s on her behind as she’s clearly fallen while trying out her skates. She has a helmet and knee and elbow pads on. All the things a reasonable parent gives their child.

Nothing is amiss here other than me being psychotic.

“What’s the matter?” Lenny rushes over, gripping my upper arms. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” I reply, pressing my face into his chest as he cradles me tight.

“ Mamma? ” Lettie asks, a look of concern on her beautiful face.

Wiping away my tears, I nod. “ Si, cara mia . Mamma just missed you, that’s all.”

Lenny sees through the front I’m putting on for her. Thankfully, Lettie buys my story.

“Lenny taught me how to skate. But I fell. But he said you can stay up if you don’t fall,” she says in English with her cute Italian accent.

“He’s right.” I kiss her forehead, brushing back her soft hair.

Nico comes up the driveway, finished for the day.

“ Papa !” Lettie screams, waving hysterically.

Lenny stands behind me, comforting me in his arms. I feel like an idiot, but I could have sworn something was wrong.

“ Ciao, bella . How was your day?”

Lettie tells Nico all about her day. But he sees my face and reads that something is wrong.

I nod subtly that it’s okay.

He thankfully reads my facial charades.

“Go with Papa and show him your other presents,” I suggest, as I need to talk to Lenny.

Nico takes her hand and helps her sit so he can take off her skates. Lenny and I walk down the stairs and take a walk. It’s safer this way because I don’t trust that the walls don’t have ears.

When we’re far enough away, he asks, “What’s happened?”

“I don’t know how to say this without sounding crazy…but I feel like something is wrong.”

He arches a brow with a mischievous grin.

“Not helping,” I quip with half a smile. “Do you feel like we’re being watched?”

He arches the other brow this time.

I playfully slap his arm in response.

“I would hope not. Not after the things I’ve done to you.”

“Maybe I’m just insane. Look at my family tree.”

Francesco is still on probation. I’ve given him the benefit of the doubt after he saved Lettie, but he still betrayed us. So I’m watchful.One wrong move and he’ll be joining Mommy dearest.

Lenny draws me into his arms. “You’re exhausted and running on the defense.

It’s what we’ve done our entire lives. It’s hard to accept that a happily ever after does exist for us.

That’s all it is. No one is watching us.

Our house is under twenty-four-hour surveillance. Romeo is the RoboCop of bodyguards.”

He’s right. I don’t even know he’s there half the time.

I run my fingers through my hair. “I am exhausted.”

“Go rest. Tonight, we’re going out. I’m taking you out on a date.”

I bite my bottom lip to hold back my grin. “I think we’re past the dating stage. We have a child together.”

“Well, we skipped the fun stuff.”

This time, I’m the one to arch my brow.

“I mean the stuff like flowers and first dates and shit.”

“You’re adorable,” I mock, suddenly feeling better.

“Go take a bath and listen to Enya.”

I can’t help but laugh. But all of that does sound amazing.“I love you. Thank you.”

“For?” He kisses the top of my head.

“For not thinking I’m a complete psycho.”

“Now, now. Don’t put words in my mouth.”

I pull away, faking horror.

“Oh, baby, you can put something else in my mouth.” He drops to his knees and kisses over the front of my shorts. He slides them down my legs, and just like that, I’m feeling much better.

Lenny didn’t give me a dress code, so a little black dress it is.

I do what Lenny suggested and take a bath. I listened to indie rock instead, though. I slipped into fluffy pajamas, crawled into bed, and slept like the dead.