Page 12 of Die for You (Kiss or Kill #2)

But regardless of this, we would kill for the other.

“He shouldn’t put his fucking hands on you!” Lenny screams.

Nico is losing consciousness, his eyes fluttering, the fight in him dying.

“Please, please stop,” I beg, hugging Lenny tight.

Our altercation soon turns into an embrace, and it seems we both realize how badly we craved each other’s touch.

Lenny loosens his grip on Nico’s throat and lets him go.

Nico gulps in mouthfuls of air, rubbing his red neck.

“I’m sorry,” I say to Nico, still clinging to Lenny’s back.

Nico looks at me, finally, how I deserve—he looks at me with disgust.

He doesn’t say a word as he storms out the back door, his bike tearing down the driveway a moment later.

I doubt I’ll ever see him again.

As always, Lenny and I seem to destroy everything we touch—us included.

But regardless of this, it feels so good.

I hold on tight, pressing my cheek into Lenny’s back. We’re silent, surrounded by chaos. We are the calm to one another’s storms.

“What are you doing here?” I whisper, eyes closed. I am suddenly so tired.

“I protect what’s mine…even if you don’t want me to.”

Tears wet his black T-shirt because that’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever said. But as I look around at the mayhem surrounding us, I remember the promise I made to myself.

Lenny and I are toxic together.

We haven’t seen one another for weeks, and look at how our reunion went. How can I bring a child into that environment?

I can’t.

“Come home,” he says, interlacing our fingers.

“You know that I can’t.”

“We will fight Gianna together.”

Once upon a time, I would have opposed, but now, that sounds like heaven.

But I can’t be around Lenny. It’s not safe.

For any of us—our baby included.

Look at what he did to Nico.

He has a darkness within that matches mine, and together, we’re no good.

I want to be good.

I want to try.

And being with Lenny doesn’t allow it.

So I must let him go…and for good this time.

I don’t know where I’ll go, but what I do know is that I can’t be anywhere near Lenny.

He can never know about Lettie.

No one can know that she is our daughter because she will be hunted by my enemies.

She will be hunted by his.

“I won’t leave Italy.”

“So you’ll leave me?” He backs me up, placing me onto the counter.

He turns to face me, the anguish clear on his beautiful face.

“We don’t work together, Lenny. You know that as well as I do.”

“That’s fucking bullshit!”

“Too much has happened. Resentment from both of us. I can forgive, but I can never forget. And I’m certain you feel the same way. I know you feel as though I betrayed you.”

“Because you fucking did! You left, remember? You chose a side, and it wasn’t mine!”

“And that’s exactly what I’m talking about. This will always be a rift between us, one which I don’t think either of us will ever get over.”

He inhales slowly, releasing the breath just as slow. “I have proof. I wanted to show you later, but it can’t wait. Once you see this, everything will change. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I needed to make sure I had all the evidence I needed.”

He walks to the black backpack he dumped by the door and opens it, pulling out a laptop. He places it on the counter and waits for it to power up. Once it does, he scrolls through files, and I wonder what he’s about to show me.

Proof of what? What does he have that he’s so adamant can change my mind?

After a couple of minutes of searching, it’s apparent that whatever he wanted to show me isn’t there.

The hue from the screen lights up his face, and I commit it to memory because this has to be the last time. Unless he can reveal some grand epiphany, we can no longer see one another.

He made it clear that he hunts me if we’re not on the same side.

And we never will be.

“I don’t understand,” he mumbles under his breath as he frantically searches through file after file.

“What is it?” I ask as his agitated state reveals that whatever he wanted to show me, he believed would change everything.

“Fuck!” He slams the laptop shut.

I wait for him to explain what is going on.

He runs both hands through his hair, yanking at the strands. “You just have to trust me. Come back to America, and I will show you the proof.”

“Just how you were going to show me the magical file on the laptop? Do you think I’m stupid?”

“I most certainly do not,” he replies, offended.

“You expect me to just trust you after everything that’s happened?”

“I did actually, but clearly, I was mistaken.”

“Do you remember our parting words?”

He doesn’t reply.

“Shall I remind you then? They were ‘love can’t save us from what’s fated in the stars. Run far away because when I find you…I’ll never let you go.’ Well, you found me, so what do you plan on doing?”

He’s furious, but he knows I’m right.

However, he thinks I remain here because of my loyalty to Gianna. Once upon a time, that was the case, but now, I stay here because it’s the only haven I can provide for Lettie.

This is why I can’t tell Lenny about her because the truth is, I don’t trust him. Although I love him with every inch of my heart, I know we aren’t good for each other.

“Trust me. Please,” he begs, placing his hands onto my knees.

I ignore the goose bumps and shake my head. “I can’t. Too much has happened, and you and I, we just don’t work.”

I say what I must to hurt him because although the pain is unbearable, I know that it’s for the best. Our past is paved with nothing but sorrow and carnage.

I no longer want that life.

“Tell me you don’t love me, and you’ll never see me again. I promise,” he says, sashaying his finger back and forth over my knee.

His touch is intoxicating, but I measure my breathing. “Love can’t save us from what’s fated in the stars,” I recite his words back to him. “Our love blinds us to the truth. You’re no good for me. And I’m no good for you. If you do love me, I ask that you leave and never return.”

As much as this hurts, I mean it.

His hurt is reflected all over his handsome face because one of us had to end this, and he didn’t have the strength to.

How lucky I am to be loved so passionately. I’ll never forget this almost obsessive love because it’s a once-in-a-lifetime kind of love.

“Valentina…” he says, but it appears we’ve both run out of words.

I place my finger over his lips. “Just kiss me.”

It feels like he stares straight through to my soul as he grips my wrist and rubs his mouth back and forth over my pointer. I allow him full control. This is my final gift to him because, although I’m breaking up with him, so to speak, I don’t want him to think it’s because I love someone else.

One of us must surrender to the other…but neither of us will.

So this is the only way.

Breaking up is such a juvenile term because this is so much more. This feels as if I’ve lost a piece of myself and it will never be found. Now, I must deal with the aftermath and try my best to survive without the man who I’ll love with my last dying breath.

But love has never been enough for us. It’s because of our destructive love that we continue this cycle, but it has to end.

I slip my finger into his mouth and exhale shakily when he sucks it, never breaking eye contact. Once my finger is wet, he guides it under my dress and into my underwear where he slowly sinks it into my pussy. I hiss the moment he starts fucking me with my own finger.

I open my legs wider as the urge to come blinds me to anything else. My body has been in a heightened state all day, so this is almost too much.

Lenny controls the speed, and when he slows down, I groan in frustration. “More,” I plead, but Lenny will make me work for it.

He withdraws my finger, only to draw it to his lips and suck away my taste. The sight is beyond erotic and turns me on even more than I already am.

But I want more.

And Lenny knows it.

“No matter the distance between us, or the time which will lapse, you and I will always be connected—in one way or another.”

He doesn’t realize how accurate that statement is.

He grips my neck and arches my head backward. “You can fool yourself into thinking that you can live without me”—he squeezes my throat, drawing us nose to nose—“but sooner or later, in the dead of night, the darkness will come calling your name, and when it does…you’ll remember who you belong to.”

I hate him.

I really do, and that’s because…he’s right.

“Fuck you,” I spit, unable to conceal my hatred for him because the line between love and hate has always blurred between us.

“There she is,” he mocks with a smirk.

“I hate you, Lennon.” And at this moment, I really fucking do.

“And I hate you, Valentina.”

As much as it hurts, I need to let him go.

So if this is the last time, then let it be just us, the only way we know.

Lenny grips my chin and slams his mouth to mine. He allows me no reprieve as he kisses me hard, biting my bottom lip and sucking my tongue.

He slides me forward, coaxing me to wrap my legs around his waist. His hard cock presses into me, sending my body into sensory overload. I almost come at the simple touch, and that’s because I know what’s coming.

I want him in me.

All over me.

I can never get close enough.

Our kisses are almost violent, and when I bite his lip, tasting blood, I know we’ve crossed the line of no return. He pulls away, and without hesitation, he rips the front of my dress. The buttons are scattered all over the floor.

His aggression only fuels the fire within me.

He helps me strip off my ruined dress. I am sitting before him in only a bra and underwear. The way he looks at me, anyone would mistake his desire for me adorned in lace and silk. But my simple lingerie is anything but.

Regardless, Lenny takes a step back, running a hand over his mouth as he consumes me from head to toe. My body responds as it always does when I’m with him—I want more.

We don’t speak.

No words are needed.

I reach around and unhook my bra.

My breasts feel heavy.