Page 24 of Die for You (Kiss or Kill #2)

I allow a single tear to fall as Lenny drives away.

He’s right.

We’ll never just be friends.

But hearing what I know is true still breaks my heart.

I focus on what’s important, and that’s putting on the best performance of my life. Gianna needs to believe that I’m coming back to her with my tail between my legs. This plan isn’t foolproof, but it’s the best plan we have.

We could fight Gianna, but if we overthrow her, she’ll never tell me where Lettie is.

And I won’t risk that.

If she doesn’t have Lettie, then all this would have been for nothing, and Lettie will likely be gone forever. So I have to work fast because my daughter’s life depends on it.

It’s nostalgia as I sneak in the same way I did when I killed Father Merry. This place, a place I hate with every morsel of my being, is home.

I grew up here, and even though no fond memories will ever be associated with this hell on earth, it’s still so familiar. Gianna could be anywhere, which is why, unlike with Father Merry, I make my presence known.

I knock on the glass door.

The gates around the property prohibit any late-night visitors. Or allowing babies to be dumped at the doorstep. Perhaps these high gates were erected because of me.

A young sister I don’t know comes to the door, clearly stunned to see me.

I don’t bother with formalities. “I need to see Gianna Ricci. Tell her Valentina is here.”

The sister doesn’t know what to do, but when I make it clear I’m not going anywhere, she soon retreats.

Gianna knows I’m here. She’s watching me right now. So I purposely look at the camera mounted in the corner and wave.

The door buzzes open a second later.

There’s no hurry to my steps as I walk down the long white hallway. I mopped these floors many times as punishment for merely existing.

The place still smells the same—sterile and full of despair.

Heels echo in the distance. I know it’s Gianna without seeing her. She appears at the end of the hallway, awaiting my arrival.

A ghost in the shadows.

A monster in my dreams.

My heart begins to race.

My palms are sweaty.

My mouth is dry.

And the urge to choke the life from Gianna is suffocating.

But when I approach her, I go against every moral standing and kiss both her cheeks. A sign of respect.

She stands unmoved. “Look what the cat dragged in.”

I bite the inside of my cheek to silence myself.

She doesn’t speak further and instead leads me down the hallway where I’m expected to follow the devil in Louboutin pumps.

This place hasn’t changed.

I pass the same painting of Christ on the cross, bleeding, with His face twisted in agony. Hardly an inviting image to a terrified orphan. But Catholicism seems okay with instilling the fear of God into its faithful followers. With fear comes power and control.

Perhaps that’s why Gianna finds solace behind these walls, for she too exercises these practices.

It doesn’t surprise me when she pushes the doors to the chapel open. She knows what took place here. She knows how I was defiled over and over. It was because of her that Father Merry took his sick perversions out on me.

But I also had my revenge here.

I peer up at the large golden crucifix behind the altar and remember the one which once stood before it, the one I hung Father Merry from.

I’m unable to wipe the smile clean as it’s one of my favorite memories of all.

“Why are you here?” Gianna asks, breaking my tranquility.

Looking at her, I see the real Gianna for the first time. I see a selfish coward who I am going to thoroughly enjoy torturing endlessly until death seems a mercy.

Her attire is her standard black jumpsuit and flashy jewels, with not a hair out of place. Her makeup is flawless even at this time of the night.

But it’s all for show.

I can’t believe she’s my mother. The woman I have pledged my loyalty to for all these years is the monster I was hunting all along.

“I’m here because I need your help.”

Gianna folds her arms across her chest, indicating she’s listening.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness. You’ve done nothing but care for me since I left this godforsaken place. And in return, I know I let you down. But there’s a reason.

“When I arrived in Italy, I was…I was pregnant. I didn’t know. But I had the child in secret. It’s the reason I vanished for so long. You had every right to throw me out and disown me, but you didn’t. And for that, I am eternally thankful.”

“The child is Lennon’s?” she asks, pretending she doesn’t know.

I nod. “It’s the reason I didn’t want anyone knowing about her. I kept her hidden as best I could, even from you. I’m sorry for that.”

Gianna has the nerve to appear hurt by my actions. “I would have supported you…just how I always have.”

“I know, but I couldn’t allow my child to suffer the same childhood I did. So I vowed to be the best mother I could be. To be the mother my mother was not.” My words are filled with emotion and meaning because they are directed to Gianna.

“I still carried out your orders, but the reason I couldn’t harm Lenny was because he is the father of my daughter.”

Gianna remains unmoved, confirming what a heartless bitch she truly is.

But I am past being hurt.

“You allowed your emotions to get in the way once again. Have I not taught you anything?” She scolds me like I’m a naughty child who disobeyed a simple order.

But there’s nothing simple about this.

I take her reprimanding me and cast my eyes downward. “I know. It won’t happen again.”

“How can I trust you? It’s because of your weakness that I struggle. Lenny has been nothing but a thorn in my side since the moment I adopted you both, and after I have given you everything, this is how you show me gratitude.”

Her gaslighting techniques won’t work anymore. Quite frankly, they’re making this so much easier.

“Please forgive me. I’ll do anything.”

“What’s different this time?”

Here goes…

“Because my daughter is missing…and I suspect Lenny is the one who has her as revenge for keeping her a secret from him. I need your help and the help of your men in taking him down. I can’t do it on my own. I’ve tried.

“If you help me…I promise you, you’ll get his kingdom…as well as his head.”

Gianna weighs my proposition. “You have disappointed me, Valentina. And honestly, I should have you killed for what you’ve done. But perhaps I too have failed at my own teachings.”

She reaches out and caresses my cheek.

Bile rises, but I swallow it back down.

“Are you certain he has your daughter?”

I shake my head. “I am not. But who else would take her? I’ve been careful, here and in Italy.”

Gianna is the perfect actress. She deserves a fucking Oscar. “Yes, this is true, as I was not aware of her. But we both know how persistent Lenny can be. We also know how charming he can be when it comes to getting what he wants. I’m ashamed to say I have fallen victim to those charms.”

She’s baiting me, but I simply nod.

“Okay, I’ll help you.”

“Thank you, Gianna.”

But things aren’t that easy. I know a sacrifice will have to be made to regain her trust.

“I’ve lost everything. Calling this place my home confirms this. I was once a queen, now merely a peasant, watching Lenny steal everything that is rightfully mine, all because he’s a man. Those men couldn’t bear a woman as their leader.”

Wrong…those men couldn’t bear her as their leader because she isn’t fit or deserving of the title.

“How did we end up at the bottom of the food chain? Perhaps my sympathy for you both is the reason.”

Once again, Gianna is playing martyr. At least this time, I’m privy to her manipulations.

“I understand being here may evoke unpleasant memories.”

“On the contrary, it’s because of this place I am who I am today.”

“Brava. Let us get to work, then. Not a minute to spare.” She claps her hands, and the person who enters the chapel has me almost tripping over my own feet.

It’s Lewis.

Lenny failed to mention that his brother is now Gianna’s gofer boy.

This is a test.

Gianna watches me closely.

I remain aloof.

“Lewis, Valentina will be staying with us. Will you show her to her old room? The attic, correct?”

That fucking…bitch.

I envision grabbing her by that long hair and using her face to wipe the altar clear of the religious relics. That heavy gold candelabrum would be the perfect object to smash her face with, knocking out her perfect straight teeth.

I push aside these thoughts and nod.

“Wonderful. Rest now, for tomorrow is a big day.”

Lewis is still a junkie. The scabs on his scrawny arms and pale, gaunt face cement that some people just don’t want to be saved. No matter what Lenny did, it would never be good enough because Lewis chose this life.

Lenny sacrificed so much for his brother, and this is the thanks he gets.

Lewis doesn’t speak.

He turns, about to lead the way, when Gianna purses her mouth before smacking her lips together. The pop echoes loudly.

“You said you’d do anything,” she ponders while I remain still. “You’d do anything to prove your loyalty to me, and that I can trust you.”

“Yes.”

“All right then, shall we put that theory to the test?”

This is her show, so I wait.

She looks at Lewis, and I see her disgust. He’s merely a pawn like we all are. She knew he’d come in handy one day.

“Prove your loyalty to me, then. You’ve had ample opportunity to kill Lenny, but failed. So to make amends…I want you to kill Lewis.” Her order is like she’s discussing the weather, not taking someone’s life.

In her mind, I guess it’s one and the same.

She knows if I kill Lewis, this will destroy Lenny. The woman he loves would be responsible for his brother’s death.

But if I don’t do this, then Gianna will guess this is a ruse, and we’re all dead.

At first, Lewis believes Gianna is joking, but when neither of us laughs, he soon realizes his life means nothing to her.

Or to me.

I reach for my gun in the small of my back and point it at Lewis.

He instantly interlaces his hands, begging. “Please, no. I haven’t done anything wrong.”