Page 6 of Deranged (Killers Inc. #3)

Field shook his head. He seriously doubted anything had been that cut and dry.

Field got it, though. It took a million tiny stories to end up where they had.

This life wasn’t one where people just ended up.

It was ugly—filled with blood and violence.

It took Field a moment to realize they had left the property.

When they had gotten in the car, he had thought Henry simply hadn’t wanted to make the quick ten-minute walk.

He had let Henry distract him. Now they were more than a mile down the road.

“Where are we going anyhow? I thought you needed to check on the construction crew.”

Henry flashed him a wicked-looking smile. “Yeah. They’re not even working today. It’s too muddy. I just wanted to have you alone.”

A surprise bark of laughter burst from Field. “You invited Clay first. What if he had said yes?”

Henry shrugged. “I knew he wouldn’t. Fabrice is his best friend, and Clay doesn’t like working with me. Given the option, he wouldn’t choose me.”

That had Field curious. “Why doesn’t he like working with you?”

An odd look shot his way. “Most people don’t like me.” He said the words as if they should have been obvious. Field didn’t know what to say. He liked Henry. Field would make sure he knew it.

Henry turned down his hidden driveway at the opposite end of the property.

They were quickly swallowed by wilderness.

He was more than a little surprised Field hadn’t asked questions.

Unfortunately, Henry knew it was because Field didn’t care what happened to himself.

He finally reached his destination and climbed from the car.

Field followed without being prompted. Henry opened the trunk and grabbed the basket of food Fabrice had put together for them.

Field looked around. “Are we still on Beau’s land?”

Finally, a question. “Yeah. Come on.” He waved for Field to follow and then walked down the stone path to the staircase that circled an enormous tree.

“Holy shit! It’s a treehouse. No fucking way.” Field kept his chin tilted upward as he followed Henry up the stairs. He sounded like an excited kid. “This is one of those fully functional high-dollar homes they have a whole-ass TV show about, isn’t it?”

Henry chuckled at Field’s reaction. He wanted to see more of this side of Field. “Yeah. It overlooks the entire property.” He let Field inside. “Welcome. This is where I live.”

Field looked confused. “Seriously? I thought you lived with Beau.”

Henry carried the basket to the kitchen.

“No. I have a bedroom at the main house, in case there’s a reason I’m needed overnight.

Otherwise, I live here.” He paused, unpacking the basket to hold Field’s stare.

“I love Beau. Never doubt I’ll follow him all the way to the grave, but I don’t really think of him as my boss.

He’s my best friend. We built this empire together.

He runs the business side. I run the security side.

Honestly, I was a little irritated when Beau invited your family to live here because I knew it would make my job harder.

But then I realized, thanks to Tracker, it’ll actually be easier, especially once his security building is finished. ”

“Well, huh.” He looked around, checking out the place.

“I’m not surprised you didn’t want us here.

In fact, that was one of my first thoughts.

” Field moved to the windows that lined nearly the entire place, giving him a bird's-eye view of the property. He could see threats coming for miles. “I thought, damn. Once I’m under foot, driving him batshit crazy, he’ll likely end up killing me.

” He flashed a smile over his shoulder. “You still could, I suppose.”

“Considering, until yesterday, you haven’t as much as looked my way since you moved in, I don’t know why you thought that.”

Field went back to staring out the window without responding.

The move solidified a theory he had as to why Field ignored him.

The way he had treated Field the night he shoved the guy to his knees had taken the fun out of Field teasing him.

He didn’t want to admit it, but he hadn’t liked Field ignoring him.

Field was the only person who treated him like a real person beyond Beau.

He was the only person who baited him. Henry hadn’t truly realized that until Field took away his smiles.

No one smiled at him and meant it. Maybe Mickey, but Mickey still treated him like he was his boss and nothing more.

Arms encircled him. Henry found himself drawn backward against Field’s chest. He kissed the side of Henry’s neck.

“What is all this? It looks delicious.”

“It’s what Fabrice prepared for lunch for the family. Since he knew he had a lot of errands today, he had everything ready early. I grabbed some so we could reheat it later.”

“I see. You decided to kidnap me for the day.”

A laugh burst from Henry. He turned.

Field held his hands up. “Hey, I’m not judging. An abduction is how we met.” His eyes sparkled with laughter. “I told everyone you’d be my daddy.”

Henry shook his head. “I’m not daddy material.” He grabbed Field’s hips and hauled him closer. “The things I want to do with you aren’t the least bit fatherly.”

“That’s okay. I’ve never had parents. I don’t know what they do.”

Henry spun, taking Field with him. He pushed, backing Field against the counter. “You should hang on.” He captured Field’s mouth and went to work on Field’s jeans.

Field chuckled when Henry’s mouth moved to his neck. It was a breathless sound. “Kidnapped and molested.”

“What fun is one without the other?” Henry dropped to his knees.

Field’s entire demeanor changed. He visibly panicked while obviously trying not to show that he was freaking out. “No. Please. Get off your knees. You’ll have bruises.”

Henry stared up the line of Field’s body. He had to fix what he had done in anger. “Are you saying you won’t make it up to me later?”

He saw the relief flood through Field. “You know I’ll make sure you’re satisfied.”

Field’s reaction told Henry everything. Someone had used pleasure as a way to control him. He had been taught to hate something healthy. Henry wondered what he had been forced to do simply because he was in someone’s debt. Likely, he didn’t want to know.

Henry set Field’s erection free and stroked him. He never broke eye contact. “This whole thing isn’t us just trading favors. You know that, right?”

Field didn’t respond. He looked torn, and Henry didn’t know why.

Field didn’t bare his soul. Henry didn’t really do that bullshit either.

He just saw something in Field he couldn’t ignore.

Henry couldn’t explain it. The guy deserved better than what life gave him, and Henry couldn’t stomach it.

Watching Field make so many people smile while he died inside set something inside Henry on fire.

He wanted… something. Even Henry wasn’t sure what.

Henry stood. He kissed Field again, trying to busy his mind while his fingers encircled Field’s cock. Henry stroked as he played with Field’s mind. He wanted to be the first person to do that in a good way.

“I didn’t hear an answer.” He changed angles and stole another kiss. “Tell me you know I want more.”

He immediately recognized the mistake in his words when Field set his hand over Henry’s, stopping Henry from stroking his cock. “What is the more that you want?” His voice sounded dead. He truly believed Henry did this to use him.

Henry scrambled to fix it. He didn’t give himself time to think about what he wanted.

Henry just had to bring the life back to his laughing boy.

“Your time. You.” He swiped a sweet kiss across Field’s lips, trying to lure him from his ugly thoughts.

“I’ve never brought anyone here.” He pulled his hand away and cupped Field’s face so he couldn’t look away.

“Look at me. I know you see people clearer than they do. You’re an observer. What do you see in me?”

“Myself.”

Henry nodded. They were a lot alike. Field was a lot more deadly than people thought. If they weren’t scared of him, they should be. There was anger and resentment just festering inside him, but he didn’t want it. Like Henry, he wanted something just out of reach. Something that felt impossible.

“Then you should know what I’m saying I want. There isn’t a damn thing on this planet that doesn’t come with strings. But I’m asking you to see mine and want them too.”

“If you’re saying you don’t want me to touch anyone else as long as this is going on, you don’t have to worry. No one can handle my crazy.”

He frustrated the hell out of Henry. He fixed Field’s jeans and took a step back. Henry pasted on a fake smile. “Let’s just do something else. I’m obviously not…” Henry fought a growl. “Would you like a tour?”

“It’s okay.” Field’s soft smile and genuine tone had Henry captivated.

“I know how I make people feel. It’s all right if you want me to go.

I’m used to people looking at me exactly like you are now.

It’s not your fault that I have no idea what you’re trying to say to me.

I get that I’m too exhausting. I can walk home.

The next time you see me, nothing will have changed. I won’t make you uncomfortable.”

He really believed all that. Every word. Field genuinely thought Henry had already hit his limit with Field’s bullshit when Henry didn’t feel like Field had done a damn thing wrong.

“You’re not the one failing here. I am. You have no idea how much I hate that I can’t ever seem to say how I feel or what I want.

I’m always watching everything that I’m silently begging for slip away because I don’t know what to fucking say.

” Henry heard the aggravation in his voice.

It was the first time in his life he had confessed that, and it was because he talked to Field.

He had spent last night with Field. Henry knew exactly how fucked up Field was and he was unbothered.

Henry had seen the real him and he wanted that guy.

Fuck, he wanted that guy. He had honestly thought Field saw him too.

But it was like Henry was doomed to be invisible and he didn’t know if he even cared anymore.

“Oh, good. Two people with no idea how to communicate. This should go great.”

A laugh burst from Henry. It seemed Field knew what to say.

He didn’t stop there. “I like you. For real. Not just toying with you or teasing you. I like you and I’d like to keep seeing you. Exclusively,” he added, as if he wasn’t making himself clear. Field made it look so easy to say exactly what he wanted. It was catching.

“That’s what I was very badly trying to say. I want you. And you said we were bad at communicating.”

They shared a smile.

Field’s slipped. “What I said still stands, though. I’m fully aware of exactly how messed up I am, and so is everyone else. If you walk away, no one will blame you, especially me.”

Henry closed the distance between them again. “Do you actually think I’m not messed up too?”

For a moment, Field’s gaze moved over Henry’s face before he responded.

“Yeah. That’s exactly what I think. You think you’ve had to be hard for so long that you don’t know how to be who you need to be to have a relationship.

Last night, you knew yourself. You knew what to say without stumbling once.

” He smiled. “Where I think you’re fucked up is for wanting me.

” Field’s hands found their way beneath Henry’s shirt.

“But that’s the only time you’ll hear me say that.

I’m not dumb enough to keep trying to talk you out of this. ”

Henry shuffled closer. “Good. I can’t be reasoned with. Ask anyone. I’m an unmovable bastard.”

“It seems I’m into that.”

He always found a way to make Henry smile. Henry prayed Field didn’t take it away.