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‘Fucking.’ Thrust . ‘Love.’ Thrust . ‘That.’ Thrust . ‘Sound,’ he pants.

Then, Mav kisses me, drowning out my cries, and Blake makes a low growl of annoyance.

‘No, suck on her tits,’ he orders. ‘I want to hear her scream for me when she comes, when I cream inside this tight little pussy.’

Shade’s fingers pinch my clit, and I wail, my hips bucking and my back bowing. ‘She’s close,’ he warns.

If anything, Blake speeds up, pounding his thick shaft into me harder, faster. Mav sucks my nipple and bites down just as Shade pinches my clit hard and the plug is pushed deeper.

I scream as my body locks up, my legs shaking as Blake thrusts a final time and roars, his cock pushing into me as my body pulses around him.

‘Take it,’ he snarls. ‘Milk my cock with that hot, tight cunt, come slut.’

His words send me into another climax off the back of the first, and I whimper, gripping Mav’s bicep, and coming again before collapsing in the bed.

My limbs, too taut a moment ago, now splay out limply. Blake’s softening cock slips out of me, and I feel the plug in my ass being drawn out.

‘Are you ready for me?’ Mav asks.

I blink at him, wondering if I can take more, but I nod. I’ve had Shade and Blake. I want Mav too.

He grins and shakes his head. ‘Another time,’ he murmurs.

‘But—’

‘I was kidding.’ He pulls me close and kisses me almost reverently. ‘Trust me when I say you’ll need to work up to taking me, Tulip,’ he murmurs then grins almost ruefully.

I frown, afraid that if we don’t do this now, by tomorrow he won’t want to, but he’s already laying back and closing his eyes with a long sigh.

I glance at Blake a little guardedly and he scowls, beckoning me to where he’s sitting on the bed, still shirtless, but his dick is now stowed away in his dark jeans.

‘Come here.’

I crawl over to him, and he pulls me into his arms.

‘I get the feeling you aren’t actually liking the degrading stuff as much as you said you did,’ he says, looking into my face.

‘It’s not that,’ I reply.

‘What is it then?’

‘Afterward. I feel...sad?’

He looks surprised and then closes his eyes. ‘Of course. I’m an idiot. I’m sorry. I’m never usually there for the... You need aftercare.’

‘What’s that?’

‘You need to know that I don’t mean those things, it’s like being extra nice until your emotions even out.’

‘Do you need that, too?’ I ask.

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he adjusts his grip and pulls me closer to him so that my face is snuggled into his chest. I hear him tapping on his phone. My fingers trace the perfect cubes of his tattoo, and I zone out, not really thinking of anything in particular.

Shade comes into the room a little while later with pizza and a damp washcloth, and I wonder when he left. I didn’t notice.

‘What’s this?’ Shade asks.

I feel Blake shrug. ‘I don’t think she’s really up for talking things through right this second. I’ll get everything I have together, and we can spend Saturday figuring out next steps.’

‘Fine,’ Shade replies. ‘But what is this ?’

He gestures at Blake and me.

‘This? A little aftercare,’ Blake murmurs, grabbing the washcloth and clearing away the evidence of my own arousal from between my legs.

I let out a relaxed sigh as Blake holds out a slice of pizza. He feeds it to me, which I find a bit odd, but also quite nice because I don’t need to think of anything at all.

Shade smirks at him. ‘That must be a new experience for you, huh?’

Blake rolls his eyes. ‘Fuck you.’

I look from one to the other. ‘I don’t get it.’

Blake feeds me another bite. ‘He means I don’t usually let girls hang around for long enough after I’m with them to give them aftercare.’

‘Oh,’ I murmur. ‘Do you want me to go?’

‘No, sweetheart,’ he says quietly, ‘I don’t want you to go.’

I’m fed two slices of pizza before I shake my head that I’m finished. After another fifteen minutes, I’m too hot in Blake’s arms and the feel of his skin on mine is like sandpaper on a chalkboard to my senses.

I wriggle away from him and note his amused grin. ‘Feeling better?’

I nod. ‘Thank you.’

I look over at Mav who’s asleep on the bed, one arm thrown over his eyes. The clock says it’s just after eight at night.

‘I should...’ Recheck my math . ‘Go to bed.’

‘I’ll be in in a minute,’ Mav murmurs. ‘It’s my turn tonight.’

Blake frowns but doesn’t say anything.

‘Only one of you,’ I warn, ‘or I’ll sleep somewhere else.’

I leave the room, between my legs a little sore and feeling achier by the second now that I’m out of the aftersex care, or whatever it’s called. I want another hot shower, but, first, I slip into my room and practically run to the bed, grabbing my papers out of the covers and doing the rest of the calculations that were interrupted earlier. I’m half-afraid that I’ll have forgotten my dream, but the information is still in my head, and now that I have it, I don’t know why it took me so long to figure it out. It’s so simple.

I’m right. I know it. I just have to go to the lab tomorrow morning and run a simulation to prove it.

I’m elated, and yet also completely the opposite. I shove the papers into the back of the drawer. I don’t want them finding any of the data until I’m ready, and I don’t want them to know the formula either. That’s my intellectual property now, and it’s my only bargaining chip. A part of me wants to march over to Blake’s room right now and just tell them, but I can’t. What if they never even speak to me again?

One more night sleeping next to Mav.

I try to steel myself against these thoughts. If it’s the price I need to pay to live as a human being with sovereignty over myself, so be it. There’ll be other men, other loves.

But even as I think it, I’m not sure I’ll ever see anyone else the way I see Blake, Mav, and Shade. I care about them more than anyone. They’re special. I can’t imagine being comfortable with anyone else holding me or touching me.

But I’ll do it tomorrow.

In the lab.

After McKinsey’s class. They’ll all be there then.

I take another hot shower. This one is quick, and I try not to think about what they’ll say when I extort them tomorrow. Instead, I wonder if I should message Lu and tell her about everything that’s going on. Maybe I should discuss tomorrow’s plan with her.

When I get back to my room, Mav is in my bed asleep, and I can’t help my small smile as I put a towel on my pillow and climb in next to him. I cuddle up beside him, and though I don’t feel that tired, I still succumb to sleep within seconds.

When I open my eyes, Mav is watching me sleep. I stifle a yawn and smile sleepily at him.

‘What time is it?’

‘Almost nine,’ he answers.

I try to get my groggy mind working. ‘What day?’

‘Thursday, Tulip.’

One more day until dinner with John. A few hours before I tell the guys about the formula and secure my future by potentially destroying my present.

Dread coils through me and my mood dips. I hate this.

Mav is still watching me.

‘What is it?’ I ask, wondering if he can see the evil machinations written in my eyes, the selfishness in my soul.

‘I want to stretch you a little.’

That’s not the answer I was expecting.

‘I’m sorry?’

‘Later, I’m going to slide these inside your tight cunt.’ He raises two of his thick fingers. ‘Then, I’m going to add another and we’ll see where we are.’

I swallow hard.

‘Assuming I haven’t scared you away.’

He’s smiling as if he’s joking, but I have a peculiar feeling that he isn’t.

‘You haven’t scared me away,’ I say, touching his cheek.

His hand covers mine. ‘Lots of girls, it’s a lot when they see it. It freaks them out.’

‘I’ve seen it already, remember?’

‘Yeah, but you don’t really have a frame of reference…’

I frown. ‘But the stretching will help?’

He grimaces and kisses my lips chastely. ‘God, I hope so, Tulip.’

He leaves my room, mumbling something about the lab and I dress for the day, putting on my boots and getting all of my work ready for McKinsey's class all the while thinking about how I’m going to tell them that I’m snaking my way into their little group whether they want me there, or not.

The walk to the Novelle Center is pleasant despite the dark turn of my thoughts. The sun is shining, and it seems like I haven't seen it properly in days.

I go inside and get to the lab, making sure Mav isn’t there yet. I begin to run the simulations on the lab laptop that I was assigned when I first started assisting and then lock the screen so that no one can stumble upon it before I get back.

Not wanting to be late, I practically run to the lecture theater where McKinsey’s class is. She hasn’t bothered me since the first day. In fact, she barely looks up at us when she’s talking and I doubt she knows anyone’s names besides Bennet and that girl, Casey, who dresses like her clone.

I wave at Bennet who comes to sit next to me.

‘Hey, there, peach pie. How are you doing? I messaged you yesterday about next week, but you didn’t get back to me.’

‘Oh, I’m sorry,’ I say, opening my non-lab laptop and finding the chapter McKinsey is supposed to be lecturing on today in my textbook. ‘I actually haven’t checked my phone. I had a migraine yesterday, so I was kind of laid up.’

‘Gotcha,’ he replies with a nod. ‘It’s just a little rude not to get back to someone.’

‘I’m really very sorry,’ I say, hoping he isn’t offended for long. ‘I can’t look at screens at all when I have a migraine.’

He leans into me a little and I wrinkle my nose at the smell of his overpowering aftershave. It’s sweet and musky, and leaves me feeling a little lightheaded, so I try not to breathe it in.

‘Don’t worry about it,’ he says with a light smile. ‘I forgive you.’

I frown a little. ‘Thanks.’

For the rest of the class, he sits just a little too close for me to get comfortable, and I have to breathe through my mouth because the stench of him makes my sinuses ache.

All the while I’m thinking about the simulation. It’ll be done by the time the class is over. I almost hope it’s wrong, so I have more time with the guys.

But it won’t be.

Then the class is done, I say goodbye to Bennet, promising that I’ll check my phone and message him back today. I try not to look happy that I’m escaping him as I file out with the others and head down to the lab.

All three of them will be in there. They always are at this time of day on a Thursday. My heart is thumping hard as I unlock the door with my card and open it. The click of it sounds so ominous. It's like I'm walking to my doom.

But I don’t back out. I can’t.

I go inside and unlock the laptop first. I see the results and my excitement spikes, though it’s quickly followed by dread.

It’s time.

I locate Mav first. He’s messing around at one of the white tables in the far corner in a lab coat. There are beakers and bottles all around and he’s holding one over a burner, paying close attention to it as it begins to boil. I know what he's doing.

He's trying to see if the simulations were wrong, if he’s close to a good result on his modifications. He’s going to be disappointed though. I turn away. Maybe he’ll be excited, not angry that I’ve found the answer.

Shade is sitting on one of the benches with his laptop open. I'll bet he's going through the figures now as well. Blake sits next to him, pointing things out and it strikes me that all three of them seem a little more desperate than they were last week. It's like they're on a looming deadline.

Shade looks up and sees me, giving me a small smile. Blake's eyes roam over me. His look is more predatory. From the corner of my eye, I see Mav turn off the flame and give me a wink.

I take a deep breath. ‘There's something I need to tell you.’

My voice is too quiet. It doesn’t carry.

‘What was that?’ Shade asks.

I swallow hard and straighten, holding my head up. This is for my future, I remind myself.

‘There's something I need to... I need to tell you,’ I say, putting more force behind my voice.

Shade beckons me over to sit in the seat next to him, but I shake my head. I want to be standing for this.

‘All of you,’ I say.

Mav gives me a narrow-eyed look, but he comes over and sits with the other two.

I close my eyes for a second.

‘Are you okay?’

‘Yes,’ I say, wondering if Shade will still be as concerned about me in a few minutes.

‘I know there's a second drug.’ I blurt it out to get the ball rolling.

All three sets of eyes snap to mine, bore into my soul.

‘What are you talking about?’ Shade asks, shrugging like there’s nothing to know.

I give him a long-suffering look.

‘I've known there were two for ages. One that’s legit and on the books, and another you’re pretending is the same one to keep it under the radar and use the lab’s resources for. It’s called Envy.’

All three expressions shutter immediately and Blake glances at the door where the camera is. It could hear this. I didn’t think of that, so I decide not to be specific about anything else I say out loud.

‘Don't play dumb,’ I say, stepping closer and speaking much more quietly. ‘I already know it exists and I...’ I wince a little. ‘I know that you’ve been having trouble with it.’

They all stare at me, and I get the impression they didn’t see this coming. They seem to have no idea what to say.

I open my laptop, showing them the simulations that I ran this morning. Mav’s eyes survey the screen, and he scrolls down. When he looks up at me, there’s surprise in his eyes.

‘What is this?’ he asks as if he doesn’t know.

But I humor him.

‘It's what you've been trying to do,’ I say with less pride than I feel because I am quite proud that I got there first.

‘I've been working on it, and it came to me yesterday. I know what's wrong with the formula you're trying to produce, and I’ve fixed it. This simulation proves it.’

‘If that's true, where's the data?’ Blake asks, his dark eyes trained on me.

‘Here.’ I tap the side of my head and his eyes narrow at me.

‘I don't understand.’

But Shade sits back, regarding me with his expression still carefully blank. ‘This is a power play. Isn't that right, Marguerite?’

His use of my real name makes me blink. I wet my lips and see his eyes track the movement, but I give him nothing else to show that I’m nervous.

‘I assume Applegate knows,’ I say instead of answering him. ‘You wouldn’t be able to keep it from him. He keeps an eye on everything pretty closely.’

I stare at Shade and go in for the kill. ‘But I’ll bet your father doesn’t.’

His eyes narrow and he suddenly looks furious.

‘We don’t need you or your formula,’ he snarls. ‘We’re close.’

I snort. ‘Not close enough or you wouldn’t be so worried.’

Shade stands, but I hold my ground.

‘What is it you want?’ he asks.

‘I know you're into...some things. You made Envy for a reason, and I want in.’

They glance at each other.

‘I know that you're doing things that your father doesn't know about, and I know you want to keep them secret. We're seeing him tomorrow night. Either let me in as a partner, or I tell him everything I know.’

He sneers at me, taking a step forward and looming over me.

‘You seem to be forgetting that there are things he doesn’t know about you as well.’

I tip my head back to look at him. If he tells John about me, I’m cooked. But I hold my nerve.

‘And you could tell him,’ I agree, ‘and he’ll send me away to punish me. But your little project will still be dead, and you know he won’t stop there. He’ll make an example.’ I look at the other two still sitting on the couch. ‘Out of all of you. Even you, Jack.’

I sigh as I turn my eyes back to my stepbrother.

‘Especially you,’ I whisper, ‘and you know it.’

His jaw tightens and he grasps my chin more gently than I’d have anticipated considering the anger I can see flashing in his eyes.

‘I’m going to enjoy tanning your ass for this,’ he murmurs.

He sounds...playful, but his demeanor hasn’t changed. My eyes not leaving him, I step away out of his grasp and his hand falls to his side.

I put my laptop down on the coffee table in front of them.

‘The formula, the correct formula, exists only in my mind,’ I say. ‘There are no copies of it anywhere. It’s my property, and I'll be paid for it.’

Feeling elated and yet numb, I turn around and leave the lab quietly.

Out in the hallway, my hands shake, and I curl in on myself a little as I remember their faces.

I scrunch my eyes shut, and I walk alone to the Quad because I don’t want to go back to the house and torture myself by waiting at the window for them to come back with their answer. I just hope they don’t call my bluff, or I’ll have to think of something else.

Grinder is still closed as I walk by, and I haven’t heard from Lu since we went to the site of the accident, so I decide to go up to her dorm.

When I get there, I buzz in and go upstairs. I glance at the room where Travis and Mich brought me.

I realize I haven't even spoken to Mich. I should thank him for his help that night.

I knock on his door, and it opens a moment later. He looks surprised to see me.

‘Daisy. Hey, how are you? I didn’t see you at the Dagorhir battle the other week.’

‘Oh, that’s weird. I could have sworn you looked right at me,’ I say with a shrug. ‘I was sitting on the sidelines.’

He splutters something unintelligible, shuffling his feet. ‘Uh, yeah I mean I guess I did see you, actually, but, you know, that guy from the wrestling team and his big buddy, they kind of told me to stay away from you.’

That’s news to me. ‘Did they?’

My voice sounds cold even to my own ears.

‘Yeah, I mean I don’t want to make any trouble, but I sorta got the impression you were with one of them.’

Or all of them.

Or none of them.