Page 48

K ENDALL

RILEY: I can do seven.

ROWAN: Seven works.

ME: Perfect. Tequila Sundays?

RILEY: On a Monday?

KENDALL: Fuck off with the humor. This is serious.

ROWAN: Kendall, if it’s an emergency I can find someone to cover the rest of my shift.

ME: Not that kind of emergency, but I can’t go another night without talking to you guys.

RILEY: Should we call Jackson too? He’s going to feel left out not knowing the tea.

ME: Fine. I’ll send him a separate text. Thanks guys. See you tonight.

Jackson has a meeting that won’t end until seven and promises to stop by if he has time. I’m okay either way. He’s more like me than the other two and is bound to make light of the situation and crack jokes, and I’m in no joking mood.

I kind of regret all the lame-ass advice I gave to Riley when she and Walker were having problems. No wonder she stopped confiding in me and figured her shit out on her own. She was better off that way.

I probably would have told her to sleep around and get over Walker. Now that I think about it, I’m pretty sure that was my advice. If Jackson cracks a joke like that, I’m sure I’ll throat punch him.

When Nash gets home from the stadium a little after six, I have dinner waiting for him and Paisley. It doesn’t take long for him to notice one plate is missing, and he cocks his head to the side. “You’re not joining us?”

We haven’t had a chance to talk about his profession of love. Sunday’s drive home was filled with Paisley’s chatter, and Nash dropped me off at my house with an innocent kiss on my doorstep.

While his parents are away, I’m taking care of Paisley in the afternoons until he gets home. He wants me to sleep over every night, but I’m not ready to cave yet. Once I do, I fear I won’t be able to step back and look at our relationship objectively. Hence the 911 call to the girls.

“I’m having dinner with Riley and Rowan tonight. It’s been forever since I’ve been out with them.”

Nash’s disappointment quickly turns to guilt. “Shit. I’m sorry, Kendall. I’ve been selfish with your time. Hell, you haven’t had a second to yourself since you’ve been helping me with Paisley. And I took you away this past weekend—”

I press my finger to his lips as he did to me Saturday night. “No apology necessary. Riley and Rowan have been busy. I wouldn’t have been doing anything else other than spending time with my sister, which I’ve still been doing with Paisley.”

“When will I see Dani again?” Paisley asks from her place at the counter.

I turn and stroke Paisley’s hair. “Someone ate all the cookies we made last week so we’ll need to make some more.”

“Can I help decorate them again?”

“We will absolutely need your help.”

“Can Daddy decorate them too? Dani and your mommy can come here and we can make cookies.”

“Your family is more than welcome to use my kitchen if you’d like.” Nash curls his hand around my hip, no longer trying to hide his affection from his daughter. “Whatever you need, Kendall, don’t ever hesitate to ask. Hell, just take. I’ll always say yes.”

“Always?” I wiggle my brows to lighten the moment. I don’t want Nash to feel guilty about the time I’m spending caring for Paisley. “I’ll be cashing in on that promise soon,” I tease.

“How soon?” he growls in my ear before planting a kiss on my temple. While we’re not hands-free in front of Paisley, we haven’t exactly locked lips in front of her yet.

“I like keeping you on your toes.”

We haven’t had sex in weeks, yet I feel closer to him than I’ve ever been to anyone before. There’s still a niggling part of my brain that is cautioning me to wait for the other shoe to drop, hence my meeting with the girls.

“It’s not my toes I’m worried about.” He squeezes my hip, and I slip out of his hold to give Paisley a hug.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow.”

“Can you have a sleepover here?”

“Not tonight, kiddo.”

“Soon?” she asks.

“Yeah, soon?” Nash repeats, a wicked gleam in his eyes.

“You two eat your dinner. Don’t throw the broccoli away. I’ll know if you do.” With that, I hightail it out before they convince me to stay.

Riley is already at Tequila Sunday when I arrive, and Rowan comes through the door seconds after I take my seat.

“What did I miss?” she asks, unwinding her scarf from her neck and draping it over the back of her chair.

“Nothing. I just got here too.” I give her a sideways hug like I gave Riley upon my arrival.

“Let’s not waste your time. What’s going on, Kenny?”

I roll my eyes. “You just want to hurry back to your husband, you freaking nympho.” I have to start light or I’ll never make it through this conversation.

A waitress comes by and takes our order. We’re easy. Three strawberry margaritas and chicken nachos to share. We sip our waters and Riley taps the table.

“Your eyes aren’t red and puffy from crying, your face isn’t tight and filled with rage, and you don’t look like death warmed over. If anything, you’re radiating happiness. What’s the deal?”

“Oh my God.” Rowan takes my hand. “Are you pregnant?”

“Pregnant? Fuck no! I ordered a margarita.”

“You’re having regular sex. Good regular sex.” Riley taps her fork to the table. “When you’re part of the amazing orgasm club, you can spot when others have joined.”

“Nothing to see here.” Rowan waves a hand in front of her face.

How she’s still single is beyond me. She’s the prettiest, smartest, and sweetest of the three of us. But that also makes it impossible to find a guy who can live up to the standards we’ve set for Rowan.

“I take it things are good with Nash, which is why you’re freaking out.”

“I’m not freaking out.” The waitress delivers our margaritas, and I suck mine down so quickly I have a brain freeze.

“Mhm.” Riley pushes her drink in front of me. “We haven’t talked about the good stuff in two weeks. Last we heard, you were contemplating ending your friends with benefits situation. I take it you didn’t?”

There’s no point in holding it in any longer. “Nash told me he loved me.”

“Oh.” Rowan clasps her hands over her heart. “I’m so happy for you.”

Riley studies me and lets out a sigh. “What did you do?”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“Great,” she mumbles. “How heartbroken is Nash? Tell me you didn’t chew him up and spit him out. He’s a good guy. Even if you think he’s not the right one for you, I hope you didn’t hurt his feelings.”

“Wow. Way to have confidence in me, Riles.”

“She didn’t mean it like that.” Rowan pats my arm. “We understand why you’re closed off to men, and we don’t blame you. But we also like Nash and don’t want to see him hurt either. Did you let him down easy?”

“Fuck. This conversation isn’t going the way I thought it would.” I pick up Riley’s margarita. “Way to make me out to be the bad guy.”

“Is Nash the bad guy?” Riley asks.

“No one is the bad guy.” I huff out my frustration. “I’m not a total bitch.”

Rowan and Riley clear their throats.

“Fine. I can be a bitch but only to those who deserve to be on the receiving end. Nash doesn’t deserve that.” I bite down on my bottom lip to hide my goofy smile. “He’s the sweetest man I’ve ever met.”

“Holy fuck,” Riley says.

“You’ve seen him with Paisley. They’re adorable together. His family is the most important thing in his life. More important than football. And he cares about me. He trusts me with his daughter and his—”

I won’t tell them about Paisley’s mom. He trusted me with that story, and I’ll take it to my grave.

Not that I have any idea who she is. There are millions of Elizabeths in the world.

I’m sure if I hired a P.I., they could track down a senator with a daughter by that name who attended Stanford seven years ago, but there’s no need to do that.

Not when Nash trusted me with his secret.

“I told him about Jason. Everything. He knows about my trust issues and isn’t pressuring me.

He told me he loved me this weekend and then told me not to say anything in response.

He respects me and understands my issues.

He wants to work to earn it and not have me reciprocate the words out of obligation. ”

“But you love him. It’s obvious, Kendall.” Rowan clasps her hands together in front of her mouth as if to shield her romantic tears.

I stare at my glass and drag my finger through the condensation. “Yeah, I do,” I whisper.

“Holy fuck balls.” Riley pulls me into a hug, and as soon as she releases me, Rowan hugs my other side.

“So that’s the 911?” Rowan asks.

“The 911 is I don’t know how to tell Nash that I love him too.”

“Just like that,” Riley offers the lamest advice.

I roll the stem of my glass between my fingers. “Easier said than done. My heart wants to tell him, but my brain keeps getting in the way and dangling seeds of doubt in front of me.”

“What is it you doubt?” Rowan asks.

“Nothing specific. Just that I’m a fool for believing someone as perfect as Nash could love me. Or maybe he loves me now, but it won’t last. And when he tires of me, I’ll be left with my broken heart again. But this time, I don’t think it will repair itself.”

“You’re not unlovable, Kendall.”

“Maybe.”

“What can we do to help you?” Rowan moves her glass aside and focuses on me.

“You’re doing it. I know I come across cocky and confident but...”

“You’re still healing.” Riley offers a comforting hand. “Nash said not to rush it, not to force the words. Take his advice and take it day by day. When and if it feels right, you’ll know and there’ll be nothing stopping you from falling in love, whether it be Nash or someone else.”

There won’t ever be someone else. Nash is it for me, but I’m too scared to admit it out loud.