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K ENDALL

On Tuesday, after hours of not-so-subtly whispering her request to join them for dinner, I finally caved.

I made an excuse to leave shortly after eating and Nash walked me to my car, sending me away with a steamy kiss that would have fogged up my car windows if we were inside and not standing out in the cold.

Not that I felt the frigid temperatures. Nash’s hands on my face and lips on mine warmed me from the inside out and left my panties a mess.

On Wednesday, I stayed longer and played a matching game with Paisley and Nash, followed by snuggling on the couch. Paisley in the middle, and Nash and I on either side. His arm was draped over the top of the couch and his fingers spent more time massaging my head and neck than not.

Again, he walked me to my car and kissed me even longer, grinding his erection into my core. When I came up panting, he begged me to stay longer. To stay the night. But I shook my head and went back home.

Tonight, Paisley asked me to stay until bedtime. I swear the father-daughter duo manipulated this entire week to catch me at my weakest. I snuggled up with her in her bed and read three books before her eyelids drooped so slowly they didn’t open again.

When I slipped out of her room, Nash was waiting for me in the hallway.

“Stay.”

“I’m not a dog.”

“Kendall.” He threads his fingers through my hair and cups the back of my neck. “It’s not about sex. Stay and watch a movie with me.”

I shake my head. “That’s where you’re wrong. It is about sex.”

He rests his forehead against mine. “It isn’t about sex for me.”

“Well, it is for me.” My voice trembles and I hope he can’t hear my weakness. “That’s on you if you break our agreement. I’m sticking to it.”

“Why?”

“Why?”

“Yes, why?” His fingers are gentle against my scalp. “Why won’t you let your guard down and let me in?”

It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him about Jason, but he has secrets too. “Paisley’s mom.”

Nash stills and lifts his head. “What about her?”

“You never mention her.”

“I told you she isn’t in the picture.”

“For now.”

“Kendall.” He traces my nose then my lips with his fingers. “Never. She’s not a threat to you. I promise.”

“That’s what he said,” I mutter.

Shit. I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

“Someone hurt you. That’s why don’t trust me.”

There’s no need to ask. It’s obvious now. My silence speaks for itself.

“Come on.” He threads his fingers with mine and leads me down the stairs.

After adding another log to the fire, he guides me to the couch and sits next to me.

“Seven years ago, my team won the Superbowl. We all went out and celebrated, but I was young, cocky, and stupid. I hooked up with a woman. Never asked her name, couldn’t pick her out of a line up the next morning.

Long story short, eight months later she found me and told me she was pregnant with my child. At least she thought she was.”

I slip my hand from his and fold them in my lap. “That’s the short story. What’s the long version?”

Nash closes his eyes and runs his fingers through his hair. “It’s not one I’m proud of.”

“You’re not the first person to have a one-night stand and end up with a baby nine months later.”

He lets out a sigh and opens his eyes. “There were three of us in the hotel room that night. There was a lot of alcohol, maybe some other stuff. I don’t remember. One of my teammates and I...”

I gasp. “Did you—”

“It was consensual,” he interrupts. “Fuck, Kendall. I’d never force a woman. She instigated it.”

“How do you know if you were drunk and high?”

He hangs his head in shame. “It started on the dance floor. She bought us drinks. Kept talking about having a threesome all night. La—my teammate and I figured she was all talk until she waved her hotel key in front of us, grabbed our hands, and dragged us to the elevator.”

“I highly doubt there was dragging.”

Nash rubs his jaw and nods. “Like I said. Young and stupid.”

I can’t judge him for his behavior. After Jason dumped me, I went to a bar and picked up two best friends propositioning them the same way this girl hit on Nash and his teammate.

“She’d gotten ahold of my former teammate already and had a paternity test done. When it wasn’t a match, she asked me to do one. You can figure out the rest.”

“Does she ever visit Paisley?”

Nash shakes his head. “She was a grad student at Stanford. Her father is a U.S. Senator. She was on track to graduate the following year with a Ph.D. in poly sci and follow in her father’s footsteps.

They’re extremely religious and pro-life, but having a baby out of wedlock and conceiving the way she did would have put a major blemish on her family’s political career. ”

“Aren’t all politicians corrupt anyway?”

He shrugs. “Maybe? From what I’ve read and learned, her family is as squeaky clean as I’ve ever seen.

Elizabeth...if what she told me was true, was a virgin.

Waiting for marriage. And she never wanted kids.

But the pressure from school, from her friends, to please her family, made her combust. She let loose and regretted every minute of it. ”

“You believed her?”

“I had no reason not to. She hid the pregnancy from her family by spending six months in Europe. She came back in the fall before she grew too pregnant to travel. Her parents didn’t visit her at Stanford for a while and she was able to keep this from them to this day, as far as I’m aware.

It was either give the child to strangers or I could take full custody.

I couldn’t abandon my own child. Elizabeth didn’t even want her name on the birth certificate. ”

“I can’t imagine a mother abandoning her child and not wanting to have a relationship with her.”

Nash rests a hand on my knee and squeezes.

“That’s because you have a big heart. It’s what makes you an amazing teacher and why you’re so good with Paisley and why.

..” He swallows and looks over my shoulder before returning his gaze to mine.

“No one knows the whole story except Elizabeth, my teammate, and now you.”

“Your parents?”

He shakes his head. “They know Paisley is the result of a one-night stand and her birth mother gave up all parental rights. I love them for respecting my privacy and not pushing for more information.”

I sink back into the cushions and absorb everything Nash confided in me. The burden of raising an infant while single, young, and in the NFL.

“My parents are saints and moved to Texas to live with me and Paisley. When I got traded to Boston, they followed. No questions asked. I was raised in a good home. I’m embarrassed of my behavior and for shaming the family name.

Not that they’ve ever made me feel that way, but this wasn’t how they raised me to be. ”

“They’re special people.”

“They are.” He brushes my hair from my face. “And so are you. It may have started out as sex, but you mean so much more to me than that, Kendall. Give me a chance to show you I’m worth trusting your heart to.”

Tears fill my eyes and I bat them away. “I was with Jason for two years.” My throat is dry, and I struggle with the words.

Instead of pressuring me, Nash curls me into his chest and I feel his heartbeat against my cheek. “You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.”

“I owe it to you after what you just told me.”

“No. No you don’t. I don’t want you to tell me anything out of obligation. Only tell me what you want me to know about you, Kendall. I respect your privacy, your past, your hurt. When and if you ever want to talk about anything, I’ll be here to listen.”

I stay curled against his warmth for a while until the urge to spill it all comes pouring out of me.

“We had an apartment together. He traveled a lot, mostly on the weekends. I never met his family. We never took a vacation together. But I was in his bed when he’d get home from work at night.”

I feel Nash tense under me, but he doesn’t say anything.

“One day, a woman showed up at the door and thought I was the housekeeper. I had no idea who she was, but she seemed to know Jason. I offered her a glass of wine while we waited for him to get home. When he saw us together, I swear he shit his pants. Veronica got to him before I did and kissed him, welcoming her husband with what she thought was a surprise visit.”

“I’m sure he was surprised.”

“An understatement. They had two kids together. She thought his work in the city was temporary, and since he brought home good money, lavished her with gifts, and was home every weekend to spend time with their happy family of four, she never questioned his absence or loyalty.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah. Veronica and I were both blindsided. She doesn’t hate me for being Jason’s mistress and I don’t hate her for being his wife. But we both equally hate Jason. Needless to say, they got divorced and she ran him through the ringer, squelching every last dime she could get from him.”

“Good for her.”

“And therein lies my trust issues with men. For two years I never saw it coming. I never could have imagined him cheating on me. When we did go out, he didn’t flirt with waitresses, he never hung out with his female work colleagues, not that I met any of them.

He didn’t socialize during the week except with me. I had no reason not to trust him.”

Nash sits up and tips my chin so I’m looking at him. “I get that my words are pointless, but you’ve met my parents, you’re close with my daughter, you’re closer with my teammates than I am. There’s no secret life. Hell, there’s no time for a secret life. Family means everything to me, Kendall.”

“I know. I’ve never doubted you.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“I never doubted Jason either until the sky fell into my lap. I was blindsided and felt like the biggest fool for not seeing any of it coming.”

“What can I do to prove to you that what you see is what you get with me?”

I bite my bottom lip and shrug. “I don’t know,” I say softly, my voice tight with regret.

Instead of being frustrated with me, Nash hugs me tighter and kisses the top of my head. “Well, I’m just going to have to work harder at winning you over then, aren’t I?”

“Does that mean more orgasms?”

Because he’s Nash and he’s nearly perfect, he senses my need for humor now. “As many as you need, Kendall. As many as you’ll allow me to give you.”