Page 14

“You’re not curious as to what he has to say?” Rowan’s heavy breathing has slowed, and I can make out the tell-tale sounds of the hospital.

“Hell yeah, I am. Do I want him to see me cave so easily without groveling? Hell no.”

“Meeting him for tea isn’t caving. If anything, it’ll give him the opportunity to grovel.”

“How so?”

“Sounds like guilt has been eating at him. That’s a good sign. Narcissists don’t feel guilt.”

“I don’t think he’s a narcissist.”

“That’s not what you said the other night.”

“I was half a bottle of wine deep and had been soaking in my tub for over an hour.”

“Hm. Okay. Well, I vote for hearing him out, then give yourself time to process. There’s no need to rush into forgiving him or making a plan for a second date. Listen without arguing. Leave and see what he does next.”

“There can’t be a second date if there was never a first. And listen without arguing? Have you met me?”

Rowan snorts. “Exactly.”

“Is that what you’d do?” Of course it is. Rowan doesn’t argue. She doesn’t vie for the center of attention or need to get the last word in. She’s the peacemaker. The one who sees the situation from both sides.

“You wouldn’t be so worked up over his words if you didn’t feel something for him. Despite the assery he’s inflicted upon you, I like him.”

“Of course you do. You like everyone.”

“Not true. I hate Jason. But if Nash proves to be of the same caliber as your ex, I’ll loathe him too.”

“Loathe.” I shiver. “Such cruel words from your sweet mouth.”

“I’m starting my shift. Text me later with a report. I’ll respond when I can. Love you.”

“Love you too. Thanks, Row.”

I slide my phone in my purse and pull on my coat. Hopefully, the tea is hot and burns my tongue before I can snap at Nash. I repeat Rowan’s words over and over as I cross the street to the tea shop.

Listen without arguing. Listen without arguing. Listen without arguing.

The bell above the door chimes as I enter, and the warm, comforting smell of orange, spices, and black tea greet me. Soft music plays, but the thump of my heartbeat fills my ears and drowns out most of the noise.

Most of the tables are taken and I scan across them until I find Nash tucked in a back corner.

Two twenty-something women hover around him, holding up their cell phones and taking selfies.

The smile on Nash’s face is strained. Not that I’ve been on the receiving end of a genuine one, but it’s nothing like the smiles he gives his daughter.

When he notices me, he says something to the women, who drag themselves away from him. Before I make my way to the table, a young couple stops by to talk to him.

“Wow. It’s so cool to meet you, Nash Humphries. Can my wife and I take a picture with you?”

I wouldn’t call bombarding his table meeting him, but everyone’s so starstruck they don’t even realize how pathetic they’re being.

“My, uh...” Nash flicks his gaze to me then returns it to the couple. “Friend is here now. If you don’t mind...”

Not taking the hint, they unlock their phones and struggle to get the right angle.

“I can take it for you if you’d like.” I take off my coat and drape it over the chair across from Nash, letting the couple know I’m the friend .

“That would be so cool.” They hardly give me a glance before making a Nash sandwich.

I snap a few pictures then give them their phone. They scurry off to their table and I hear hushed whispers from patrons around us.

“I’m sorry for the intrusions. I would have worn a hat to hide myself if I knew we were going to meet somewhere.”

“It’s fine.”

“Excuse me. Are you Nash Humphries?” An irritating feminine voice asks from behind me.

“I am, but I don’t want to be rude to my friend here.”

Once again, the adoring fan doesn’t take the hint. “I watched you on TV the other night.”

I roll my eyes and snicker. Nash catches it, but his fan club doesn’t.

“The team appreciates the support. If you don’t mind, I’m in the middle of a conversation here.”

“Oh. Okay.” The redhead glances down at me and I swear she sneers. “But you took pictures with other people.”

Nash closes his eyes and reins in his patience. I guess I understand why he doesn’t go out much. He’d hate this even more if Paisley was with him.

Taking pity on him, only because I want to hear how he’s going to explain his behavior last week, I stand.

“Don’t go.” Nash reaches for my hand and tingles work their way up my arm.

Of course my body is going to respond to his touch. It’s chemistry. Something that has been around since the dawn of time and doesn’t know the difference between a nice guy and an asshole.

“I’m sorry, honey,” I say to the barely legal girl. “We were just leaving.”

Nash picks up on the we part and jumps to his feet.

“Have a nice evening,” he says to her as he places his hand on my lower back and ushers me through the growing crowd and out the door.

“Thank you for saving me. I’m really sorry about that scene.

I wasn’t thinking when I suggested we meet here. It was more for convenience.”

“I’m sure you get mobbed everywhere you go.”

“I don’t get out much. And when I do, I wear a hat or hit up places that aren’t as conspicuous.”

“Hm.” We walk with no direction in mind. The rain has settled to a mist and is no doubt making my hair a nest of frizz.

“You’re getting wet,” he points out the obvious.

Right now, it’s all on the outside. It’ll take some time before he makes my underwear wet again. No matter how attracted I am to him, I’m not a helpless female who succumbs to her sexual needs.

At least, I try not to be.

“Do you want to talk in my car? Or yours?”

“Wherever.” Listen, don’t argue. Listen, don’t argue.

We head down a side street and over to a parking garage. If there wasn’t a chill in the air, I’d suggest we talk outside the car, but I’m cold and wet.

He presses a button on his key fob and opens the passenger side door for me. I don’t say anything as he gets into the car and turns it on, pushing the button for my seat warmers. We sit in silence for a few minutes while the car hums.

“You can turn it down if it gets too warm,” he points out the obvious once again.

“Mhm.” I’m listening, Row, just like I promised. But he’s not saying anything.

Nash turns off the music and lowers the heat while his left hand nervously taps his thigh. “I’m sorry, Kendall.”

“So you’ve said,” I snap. Shit. I didn’t last two seconds. Listen, don’t argue.

“I owe you an explanation.”

Well, shit. There goes my theory on him not being a douchebag. Explaining his reasoning for calling me a slut? There is none. Explaining why he had no problem kissing the ever loving breath out of me then pushing me away like I was an STD? None for that either.

“I didn’t push you away like you had an STD.”

Shit. I guess the voice in my head came out of my mouth. I take Rowan’s advice and don’t respond, even though I wholeheartedly disagree.

“As you’ve noticed, my free time is limited. Any moment I don’t have to be at the field or on a plane, I’m with Paisley. And that’s still not enough. I haven’t had time to date, nor have I wanted to. My daughter is my entire world.”

Facts I’ve witnessed, but it still doesn’t excuse his behavior. When he doesn’t say anything, I’m sure my thoughts didn’t come out of my mouth this time.

“Before I learned about her, I was a lot like Miles.”

I snort, unable to picture it. I mean, I read articles and saw the interviews, but still. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t believe it.

“It’s true. I was a player. A punk.”

“Still are.”

“Maybe I’m a punk, especially for how I’ve treated you, but I’m not a player.

I haven’t wanted to date because I don’t want another woman around Paisley.

Not to sound conceited, but I worry a woman will feign interest in her to finagle her way into my life to take advantage of the lifestyle I could give her.

I never want to expose my daughter to someone like that. ”

“And that’s what you think I did? You’re the one who tracked me down and begged me to watch Paisley.”

Sorry, Rowan. There’s no way I can keep my mouth shut.

“No. Not at all. That’s not what I meant.”

“Like you didn’t mean I’m a slut either?”

“Fuck.” He grabs the hair at the back of his neck and tugs. “This isn’t coming out right.”

“Maybe try to be less defensive and drop the excuses and just speak the truth.”

“I am. But I also want to give you the backstory.”

“Drop the Lifetime special and tell me the current story. If I’m feeling civil by the commercial break, I won’t drive the heel of my shoe into your balls.”

“Fair.” He rubs his palms on his thighs.

“I saw you leave with Miles at Walker and Riley’s wedding.

Actually, I noticed you before that. At one of our games when you and your friends came to support Walker.

A woman hasn’t caught my attention in a long time.

I couldn’t take my eyes off you at their wedding, and it pained me to see how close you and Miles were.

When you left hand-in-hand, well, I know Buck and. ..”

And he thought we went off to fuck at my best friend’s wedding. To be fair, I wouldn’t put it past me either, but not with Miles. He’s like my spirit animal, my guy twin, but he’s the slutty version and I’m mostly all talk.

“I’ve kept you at arm’s distance because I thought you two had a thing. Past or present, I wasn’t sure. But I’m not that guy anymore. I’m not into women who...”

“Fuck around. How do you know I’m not fucking around with other guys who aren’t on your team?” What the hell am I saying? Do I want him to think I’m hoeing myself out around Boston?

“Like you said before, what you do and who you do it with in your personal time is none of my business.”

Great. Not an apology. He still thinks I’m a slut but now he knows I’m not sleeping with his teammate. Go me.

Rowan’s advice is settling in, however, I’m done listening. I’m gonna sit here in this warm, buttery soft seat and stew and not argue.

“We have chemistry, there’s no denying that.”

No shit, Sherlock.

“The chemistry pissed me off in the beginning. I didn’t want to like you on principle. I misjudged you as a bad role model for my daughter. I’ve never been more wrong about anything in my life. I’ve also misjudged you in other ways.”

Like believing his team has scored touchdowns in my vagina. Yeah, it’s gonna be a hot minute before I get over that.

“I lashed out at you because I was mad at myself for wanting you. I lose all self-control when I’m around you.

I let my guard down and told myself it didn’t matter if you and Buck had something going on.

I wanted you, so I kissed you. I argued with myself that you wanted it too based on the way you danced with me.

And while I was kissing you, all rationale left my body.

I got lost in your taste, in your softness. In your moans.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and stare out the windshield. From my peripheral vision I can see Nash is staring straight ahead as well.

“I wanted to bring you back to my place and—"

Oh, please finish that sentence.

He doesn’t.

He slams his palm on his steering wheel and curses, then opens his door and paces beside the Range Rover. He stops by the hood and rests his palms on it. I watch him for a moment through the windshield before I leave the car and stand on the other side of the hood.

Keeping his head down low, he says, “The vision of you dancing with Buck at the wedding and the other times I’ve seen you at the bars hanging out with us jumped to the forefront of my brain, and I hated myself for falling victim to...to my...need for you.”

This is turning into quite the apology. Rowan’s advice is saving me from coming up with a response. Because what do I say to that? Yeah, I want to fuck your brains out as much as I think you want to fuck mine?

“I was wrong on so many levels. As fucked up as an excuse goes, it’s one hundred percent a me not you issue. I’ve been freaking out at how badly I want you, so I tried to convince myself you were...not for me.”

I lean against the side of his car and tilt my head, trying to get a look at his face. “I don’t understand, Nash. Why do you need to convince yourself of that?”

He lets out a deep sigh then lifts his head, and my heart nearly breaks at the sadness in his eyes.

“Any free minute I have is for Paisley. I don’t have time to date or have a girlfriend.

I’m not that desperate where I want a random hookup.

But I...hell.” He chuckles out of frustration.

“I’m a guy. I have needs, and they haven’t been met in a long time, which is no excuse for my behavior, but the male douchebaggery you’ve seen in me may have something to do with that. ”

Well, I’ll be damned. Nash Humphries is sex deprived. Who would have thunk? I don’t know why that makes me a little giddy inside. Before I splay myself over the hood of his car and tell him I’ll help him cure his drought, I force myself to take Rowan’s advice.

“I need to get going. I’ll walk myself to my car.”

“Wait. Kendall.” He rounds the hood but keeps his distance from me. “That was a lot. I know. I’m sorry for the way I’ve treated you. I’m a private person so talking about this isn’t easy, but that’s no excuse for how I’ve treated you.”

The urge to wrap my arms around him and offer comfort scares the crap out of me. I’m not supposed to forgive him so easily. He should have to work for my respect.

“Please let me at least drive you to your car.” He opens the passenger side door for me, and I slide back into the seat.

It only takes a few minutes to reach my school again and I hop out of the car as soon as he parks, hoping to avoid talking. It’s been pure torture biting my tongue and letting Nash take over the conversation.

As soon as I unlock my door, Nash is by my side.

“I don’t know what to do or say now. Next steps. I want to grovel, but I don’t even know how. I don’t know what you like or how I can get in your good graces.”

I almost laugh at how pathetic he sounds, but I’m not into kicking puppies, especially when they’re mopey.

“I guess that’s the true test then, isn’t it?” I slide into my car and force myself not to look in his direction as I back out of my spot and drive home.

I wasn’t looking forward to Nash’s apology, but I sure as hell am looking forward to his groveling.