Page 59 of Death, Interrupted
Her eyes watered fast, and she tried to blink it back. I tightened my hold, tilting my forehead down to hers.
“I don’t sit here and wish you were different for my sake,” I said. “I sit here and hope for you. That someday it won’t feel so heavy. That you’ll have a day where the fear doesn’t come at all. Because you’re already more than enough, Sumner. Panic attacks or not. You’re more than enough. And you’re so goddamn strong, you have no idea. I admire that strength so much.”
Her breath hitched, and her hands curled into my shirt. “Sly…”
“I mean it,” I said. “If anything, the only thing I’d change is how much it hurts you. But never who you are.”
She stayed pressed to me, with her body trembling, but I could feel something shift in her. My words had been a relief to her, and because I could see she needed it, I let the corner of my mouth curve, softening the heaviness even more. “Besides,” I said, brushing a tear from her cheek with my thumb, “If we hadn’t met, who else would have finally taught me how to cook without burning half the kitchen down?”
A shaky laugh escaped her. She nudged me playfully. “You still mess up sometimes,” she said, smiling through her tears.
“Yeah,” I admitted, smirking, “but I’ve not burnt anything in a day. That’s progress.”
Her face softened, and she lifted her hands to wipe her eyes. A frown stuck between her brows as her eyes met mine again, and I knew she was unhappy about something.
“What is it?” I asked, keeping my voice low.
“I hate not being able to control my emotions. Every time you say something sweet, I start crying. I don’t want to seem weak because I know I’m strong.”
And that’s exactly what I’ve been saying. She had all that strength in her, and she knew she did. “Beingemotional isn’t a sign of weakness. I have no damn clue how our bodies and minds work, but I know a strong person when I see one, and I’m holding one right here in my arms. You’re so fucking strong,” I said, emphasizing the last words. “And I’m not gonna lie here, baby, you look so damn beautiful with your eyes puffy, your cheeks flushed, and your nose red like a freaking tomato.”
Amusement instantly flashed across her face, and her lips pursed before she asked, “How’d you know my nose is red like a tomato when you’re colorblind?” she teased, grinning up at me.
Good. She was happy. She was making fun of me, and I’d let her make fun of me for the rest of our lives if it meant seeing her smile.
I laughed and pinched her sides. “You’re right. I wouldn’t know.”
She squealed and turned in my arms, trying to get away, but I kept tickling her. “Maybe I should really get myself those colorblind glasses so you can’t mock me again.”
“Stop, please!” Her laugh became louder. “Please, this isn’t fair!”
I grinned but didn’t stop for another while before I pulled her back into my arms and held her tight. I pressed a kiss to her cheek, then buried my face in the crook of her neck. “You’re so damn special to me.”
She wrapped her arms around me again and meltedinto me, proving once again that with me, she felt comfortable and protected. “Thank you.”
I knew what she was thanking me for, and I wished she knew that she never had to thank me for anything.
***
When the last of the dishes were stacked neatly in the drying rack after we finished the dinner we cooked together, I turned to find Sumner sitting on the counter, swinging her legs, and looking pleased with how the evening turned out. I leaned against the counter across from her, holding the container of chocolate mousse we’d bought this morning as a guilty after-dinner delight.
I handed her a spoon first. “Here,” I said, a small smile tugging at my lips. “You go first.”
I had never seen anyone look this excited about dessert, and I wished I could’ve captured the moment she took a spoonful. It was the little things that made her happy, and it showed just how grateful she was, even for the simplest things. Her eyes closed briefly, and then she looked at me with her lips curved into a sweet smile. “That’s delicious.”
I scooped a spoonful for myself and nodded when I agreed with her. “For a mass-produced, cheap chocolate mousse, that really is delicious.”
“I think this is the best thing I’ve had in years.”
I pulled the mousse away when she tried to scoopup more and narrowed my eyes at her. “What about the salmon I cooked for you?”
She laughed and tilted her head to the side. “That was very good, too. But this is…you know, chocolate mousse. It’s heavenly.”
“Fair enough.”
I held the mousse closer to her and just watched her eat, not bothering to eat another spoon myself because I wanted her to have it all.
She kicked her legs lightly while she ate, and once the mousse was gone, I took the spoon from her and put it in the sink before throwing away the empty container. When I turned back to her, I noticed her watching me. She didn’t speak, nor did her eyes tell me what she was thinking.