Page 57 of Death, Interrupted
He’ll hurt you.
You’ll hurthim.
You’re the monster.
You’re the monster.
You’re the monster.
“I don’t want to hurt—” My throat closed before I could finish, and the rest of the sentence stuck inside me. My hands trembled. My whole body felt like it wasn’t mine anymore.
“I’m going to come closer,” Sly said again, his tone steady now. His hands lifted and opened, showing me he wasn’t a threat. “You’re okay. You’re safe. You’ll get through this. Let me help you, okay?”
“Please don’t hurt me,” I managed to croak out before my vision went dark.
Sly
I was usually a deep sleeper, but tonight, a strange feeling woke me. And I was glad it did.
I heard her rapid, uneven breathing before I sat up, and when I saw her standing in the kitchen, trembling and whispering under her breath, I stood up and walked over to her.
She wasn’t breathing right, and I didn’t have to ask to know that she was having another panic attack. My first thought was to figure out what had set it off and whether there was anything I could change to ease the panic, but she was already too far gone.
“Sumner,” I said softly, keeping a bit of distance because I knew she needed me to go slow.
Her eyes were wide as she stared at me, and she stumbled back against the fridge. “No…no…”
“Sumner, I’m going to come closer, okay?” I told her, keeping my voice calm but steady.
“No!” she squealed, shaking her head at me.
I hated this. Hated seeing her like this without knowing what had caused the attack. Even though I couldn’t be certain, I wanted to believe that it had nothing to do with me.
“I don’t want to hurt—” Her throat closed off, and she choked on her own words.
“I’m going to come closer,” I said again. I lifted my hands and opened them, showing her I wasn’t a threat. Though whatever was going on in her mind could’ve been the opposite. “You’re okay. You’re safe. You’ll get through this. Let me help you, okay?”
“Please don’t hurt me,” were her last words before her knees gave in, and her body dropped to the floor.
“Shit.” I moved quickly to be at her side and put my arms around her, pressing against her because I knew that helped. “You’re safe,” I told her, keeping my voice calm and steady. “You’re at my place. Just me and you. You’re safe.”
She shook her head, covering her ears. “You’ll hurt me,” she whispered. “You’ll change.”
That one hit deep, but I didn’t let it get to me. I knew she wasn’t talking to me, not really. She was fighting ghosts that looked like me in her mind, and the only way to reach her was through patience.
“I won’t. I’d never hurt you,” I said quietly, hoping my voice would get to her.
She was crying now. Her breathing was too fast, her chest rising in short, uneven bursts. I took a deep breath in the hopes of getting her body to follow.
“I’m right here,” I said again. “Can you feel me?”
She didn’t answer, but her hands curled around my forearms, which was a start. Her fingers were cold and shaking.
“Breathe with me,” I whispered, lowering my headso my voice was closer to her ear. “Can you do that for me, Sumner? Just breathe. That’s it.”
Her breath hitched, caught, then came again. Uneven, but slower. I tightened my arms around her again, and she didn’t resist. She just collapsed against me like her body finally gave up the fight.
“I’ve got you,” I murmured, holding her tight. “You’re safe. You’re okay. You’re right here.”