Page 45 of Dearly Unbeloved (Spicy in Seattle #3)

Tears pour down my face as I look down at my feet.

“I know you were scared. I figured that out. There was just a part of me that thought… that hoped I might be enough to be what you wanted. It’s stupid, I know.

It’s not like this was ever real. I didn’t sign the papers—I couldn’t—but I will. You don’t owe me anything, Sierra. I?—”

“I shredded them.”

It takes a second for her words to register, and my head snaps up. “What?”

Sierra’s eyes are lined with silver. “The divorce papers. I found them when I got here on Thursday night, and I shredded them.”

“Why?” I can’t stop myself from asking.

“Sit down, Rose. You’re shaking.” She takes a step closer to me—close enough that I’m wrapped in her soft, comforting scent, but not so close that I can touch her. I hobble backward until I’m perched on the edge of the bed, pissed off at how weak my body feels.

She kneels in front of me. “I left like I did because I was scared. Because I thought there was nothing more terrifying than putting myself out there and telling you how I felt, in case you said no and left me. So I left first, and I know how selfish that makes me.

“But there was something more terrifying. Two things, actually. First, finding out you were involved in an accident and not knowing if you were okay. And second, imagining the rest of my life without you.” She draws in a shaky breath.

“You have more power over me than anyone else ever has, you know. You could ruin me, Rose. I care more about you than I’ve ever cared about anything before, and you could destroy me.

And god, what a privilege that is. How lucky am I to feel so strongly about you?

You are more than enough. My leaving wasn’t about you, okay?

Tell me you know that. I need you to know it wasn’t your fault. ”

I nod one singular, jerky nod. “It wasn’t your fault, either. Not really. You have every reason to be scared.”

“No, not like that.” Sierra shakes her head, a single tear falling down her cheek.

“I’ve spent the past month pushing you to open up and work on yourself, and I didn’t give you the respect of doing the same.

How I ended things was unforgivable. But I’m going to be a total asshole and ask you to forgive me anyway. ”

I open my mouth to tell her I’ve already forgiven her—that I’m still a little mad, but I understand more than anyone how the pain left behind by people treating us poorly causes us to lash out.

It’s why we work so well—we don’t flinch in the face of each other’s scars.

We saw each other’s flaws before anything else.

But Sierra sits back on her knees and unhooks the second chain from around her neck, pulling it out from the neckline of her shirt, and the words catch in my throat when I see both of our rings dangling from the dainty chain.

She slides both into her palm and sets her ring and the chain beside me on the bed, but doesn’t give me mine back.

She holds it between her thumb and finger and looks up at me. “Rosie. Honey.”

My heart damn near stops. “What are you doing? ”

“What I should’ve done weeks ago, instead of running scared, because I didn’t know what I’d do if you didn’t want me.”

“Sierra, I?—”

“No, hear me out. I fucked up here. I ran away, and I’ll regret it every day for the rest of my life.

I’m so sorry.” She takes a deep breath. “I love you, Rose. I love you so much. And I wish I could say it was love at first sight, or that I could pinpoint the exact moment I realized that the most frustrating thing about you is the complete and utter chokehold you have on me. But I can’t.

And I’m okay with that. I’m more than okay with that, because the only thing I’d change about us is me walking out two weeks ago. ”

I swear the room would be spinning if I could see anything beyond Sierra. It’s like, with three words, she stitches up the parts of me that have been falling apart for far longer than the two weeks she’s been gone. She loves me.

“Sierra,” I breathe, a smile taking over my face. “I love you, too. And I forgive you.”

She holds the ring up to me with shaking hands.

I can see how scared she is, but she squares her shoulders.

“Marry me, Rosie. Stay married to me. For real this time. We can have a big wedding, or just something small with our families, but I want to stand up in front of everyone who loves you and promise them, promise you, that I’m going to love you forever. I’m going to take care of you forever.”

It’s amazing to think that a few months ago, the thought of being tied to Sierra forever was incomprehensible. Now, the thought of anything else is .

“If I say yes, if we’re doing this, you don’t get to run again. Not without me. We run away together, or not at all. If I say yes, I’m keeping you.”

Sierra nods, wiping tears from her face. “Please keep me. Please let me keep you.”

I have to turn my whole body to pick up her ring since it’s on my right side, but I finally close my fingers around it and slide off the bed onto my knees before her.

“Sierra. Wife .”

She releases a watery chuckle, and I cup her face, brushing away her tears.

“I can’t promise no one is going to hurt you again.

I can’t promise you that no one will leave.

People will come and go, and sometimes it’s going to hurt like hell.

But I can promise you that I’m not going anywhere.

I’m not going to leave you. We’re both going to do better, we’re going to get better, and we’re going to stay. ”

“Yeah?” Hope lights her face, and it just might be the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

“Yeah. Of course I’ll stay married to you. It’s you and me. Well, and the bunnies.”

“I’ve missed the three of you so much,” she says, her face falling a little.

I reach for her hand, sliding her ring onto her finger. “We’ve missed you, too. But you’re home now. We’re all home now.”

“I’m with you, honey,” she says, sliding my ring on my finger. “Of course I’m home.”