Page 32 of Dearly Unbeloved (Spicy in Seattle #3)

ROSE

Four whole days off for Thanksgiving!!! However will we pass the time? - S

P.S. Olivia Newton-John is feeling pretty neglected these days.

S ierra hasn’t stopped talking since we left home to drive to Maggie and Cal’s place for Thanksgiving dinner. For my benefit, I suspect. She knows family dinners are hard for me.

Thanksgiving has never been my favorite holiday, on account of the shitty origin story, and the fact that my parents force us to have a formal meal every year.

But last year, Jazz put her foot down and said she wasn’t coming, inviting us to the Michaelson Thanksgiving dinner instead.

My parents threw a hissy fit and refused to go.

I assumed Xan would refuse, too, but when I showed up at their place, the epitome of a dutiful daughter, it was just me.

Xan and Jazz spent the holiday surrounded by laughter, and my parents and I sat in silence.

This year is different. My parents haven’t been invited to family dinner since the night Sierra and I announced we were married, and when they texted me a couple of weeks ago to ask about Thanksgiving, Sierra plucked my phone out of my hand and declined their invitation before I could work myself up about it.

“Thanksgiving is for family,” she told me, typing out her reply. “And they can be included when they start acting like one. We’re going to Maggie and Cal’s.”

I’ve never been so grateful to have my phone stolen.

And she’s right. Thanksgiving is for family. Which is why I stole her phone while she was sleeping a couple of weeks ago and got her mom’s number.

I was nervous as hell calling, but Andrea Hayashi is not my mom. She was thrilled to hear from me, acting like we’d known each other forever and not like it was the first time she’d ever spoken to her daughter’s wife.

Sierra holds open Maggie and Cal’s front door as I carry our overnight bags. They insisted we didn’t bring any food, because Liam’s mom, Danisha, had so much planned and they were already worried about how we were going to eat it all.

I close the door as Sierra chatters away about the new hay she wants to try the bunnies on, corralling her toward the living room. She walks in and stops in her tracks, gasping.

“Oh my god!” Sierra rushes forward, wrapping her arms around her parents, who are standing by the fireplace .

Sierra’s dad holds her tightly, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. “We’ve missed you, sunshine.”

Any jealousy I’ve been feeling about how close she is with her family disappears when I see her step back with a wide smile on her face. My stomach flutters.

“How are you here?” she asks, hugging her mom, Kyo, and both of Kyo’s partners in turn.

“Rose invited us,” her mom says, turning to smile at me.

Shit. I forgot inviting them here would mean I also had to meet them. I steel myself and cross the room, dropping the bags on an empty chair as I go.

“It’s nice to finally meet you,” I say, but the words are muffled as I’m pulled into hug after hug, finally ending up, somehow, in Sierra’s arms.

“You called my family?” she murmurs in my ear.

“You said you missed them.”

She pulls back, and I know her well enough at this point to recognize the surprise and confusion in her eyes as she takes me in.

“Thank you,” she says, pressing a smiley kiss to my cheek.

Blood rushes to my skin, and I barely even notice how nervous I am as she introduces me, officially, to her parents.

All I can think about is how much I like making her smile like this.

I force myself to swallow one more bite of Danisha’s incredible cinnamon cheesecake and push my plate away. I don’t remember the last time I ate so much—or so well.

The Hayashi family fit perfectly with the Michaelsons, though I’m not surprised.

It’s like everyone has been friends for years.

Rylan is obsessed with interior design, and a big fan of Maggie’s work, and Sierra’s dad, Kento, and Lina are obsessed with the same reality show as Jazz and Cal.

Sierra and her mom talk about seemingly everything and nothing, and, though Sierra tries to include me in the conversation, I give her space to catch up with her mom.

From my other side, Xan reaches over me and spears the last bite of cheesecake from my plate. “You, Jazz, and Maggie really hit the jackpot in the in-law department,” he says through a mouthful of cheesecake. I wrinkle my nose.

“Don’t talk with your mouth full. But yeah, we did.” I nudge him with my shoulder. “Kami’s dad’s pretty great.”

“He is, but A, he’s not my father-in-law?—”

“He might as well be,” I mutter.

Xan ignores me. “And B, he hates me.”

“And yet, he still treats you better than our dad does,” I point out. Xan shrugs. “What’s she doing today?” Sometimes, Kami tags along to family dinner with her daughter, Lexi, and her brother, Leon, but I haven’t seen them in a while.

“They’re spending the day with Evan’s family.

” Xan doesn’t bother hiding the distaste in his voice.

Unlike Jazz, Maggie, and me, I suppose, Kami did terribly in the in-law department.

If you ask me, she also did terribly in the husband department, and she deserves better than any of them.

But I always assumed Xan and Kami would end up together, so maybe I’m biased.

I start to suggest Xan invite her family for Christmas, when Jazz asks for everyone’s attention. Xan and I look up, watching across the table as she and Liam exchange a smile.

“We have some news,” Liam says, gripping Jazz’s hand. “We didn’t say anything earlier, because we didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up, but we started IUI a few months ago, and…”

Jazz’s expression is pure joy when she says, “I’m pregnant!”

There’s a beat of silence before noise erupts around the table. People jump up, tears spill, congratulations are shouted, and I push back from the table, processing the sudden noise. Processing the news.

“Holy shit.”

I look over at Xan, and he looks as stunned as I feel. “Holy shit,” I agree. “Jazz is going to be a parent.” Jazz has the chance to be the mom she always needed. And I know in my bones that she will be.

“She and Liam are going to do it right,” Xan says, echoing my thoughts so quietly that I wouldn’t hear him if we weren’t so close.

“Yeah, they are.”

I look at the scene before us, watching rather than partaking, because I’m not sure where my place is here. Xan watches too, and I realize this is probably as weird for him as it is for me. Even the Hayashi family, who just met Jazz and Liam today, fit into the celebration with ease.

But the Cannons don’t celebrate like this. Hell, the Cannons don’t celebrate at all. Is this what it’s going to be like for the rest of our lives? Watching, but never experiencing? Unless something changes, it will be. And no one is going to change it but us.

I grab Xan’s arm. “Come on.”

“Where are we…” His voice is lost to the noise as I tug him into the fray toward Jazz.

“Call me grandma one more time,” Maggie warns Liam, with happy tear tracks on her cheeks.

“Congratulations,” I say to Liam when he spies our approach.

“Congrats, man. Happy for you,” Xan adds, giving Liam an awkward one-armed hug.

He steps aside so we can see Jazz, and she immediately pulls us both into her arms.

“You’re going to be the best mom.”

“Thanks, Rosie,” Jazz says softly.

“Proud of you.” Xan sounds as choked up as I feel.

Jazz wipes her eyes, but she’s still smiling. “How’d we get so grown up, huh?”

“Hey, listen, can the three of us talk sometime? Not now, obviously, we’re celebrating, and there’s nothing urgent, I just?—”

“Please, now would be perfect. I’ve had a permanent headache for like two months, and it’s very loud in here,” Jazz says, looking relieved. She nods to the door leading into Maggie and Cal’s kitchen and murmurs something in Liam’s ear before leading us through.

They have a small couch in the kitchen, where Maggie likes to sit and work while Cal makes dinner. Their cat, Peach, is lying across the cushions, snoozing. She gives Jazz an unimpressed look when she moves her, but curls up on her lap and goes back to sleep.

I sit beside them, and Xan pulls a chair over from the little breakfast nook, eyeing me curiously. It’s not like I gave him a heads up, and it’s not exactly in character for me to suggest we talk.

“Are you okay, Rosie?”

“I’m fine,” I say quickly, instinctively. Neither Jazz nor Xan looks convinced. “That’s not true. I’m not fine, but I’m working on it. This is me working on it.” The words come out in a rush, almost jumbled, and Jazz reaches across Peach—who meows unhappily—to hold my hand.

“Hey, take your time. Whatever you want to talk about, we’re here, okay?”

My lungs burn as I take a deep breath. The worst they can say is no.

“I want us to be closer. The three of us, I mean. I just feel like we’ve spent our whole lives with all this distance between us, because that’s what our parents wanted, and now I don’t know how to fix it.

But I want to. I love you both, but I barely know you.

And I don’t want your kid growing up wondering why their mom barely talks to her siblings.

I know you’re both really busy, but I’d like to spend more time with you. If you want that, I guess.”

“Shit, Rose,” Jazz says, tears streaming down her face now. “Of course I want that. And I’m never too busy for you. Either of you.”

“You’re about to be a lot busier,” I remind her, and she laughs, wiping her face.

“And I’ll still have time for you. I promise.”

“I want that too,” Xan agrees, sounding almost relieved. “Honestly, I’ve wanted to talk to you about this for a while, but I didn’t know where to start. You both have your own lives, and I guess I wasn’t really sure where I fit into them.”

“That’s how I feel about you two,” I say.

Jazz shrugs. “I’ve been trying to force you both into spending more time with me lately, with all the family dinners and the Vegas trip, but I guess I wasn’t being obvious enough. I figured you knew and just didn’t want to be closer.”

The three of us exchange h ow have we been so fucking stupid looks before Xan snorts, and we all dissolve into laughter.

“God, our parents really did a number on us,” he says, shaking his head.

“That they did,” Jazz agrees.

“Do you ever think about going no contact like Maggie did?” I’ve expected her to do it a hundred times since Maggie stopped talking to her family, but I just can’t figure out where her breaking point is.

“Oh, I’ve thought about it. Only every day,” she answers with a laugh.

“But I’m not there. Not yet, anyway. I saw the moment Maggie broke, when they didn’t come to her wedding, and she realized they were never going to change.

She still had a little bit of hope until that moment, and they obliterated it.

It’s not a feeling I’d wish on my worst enemy, but god, I’ve wished for it a time or two.

Wished that I could stop holding onto that hope.

That one day they’ll be proud of us, stop holding us to impossible standards. You guys know what I mean.”

Xan and I echo our agreement .

“But things are different now,” Jazz continues, placing her hand flat on her stomach.

“This baby isn’t going to grow up like we did.

They get one chance to be grandparents, but a single disparaging comment about my kid, a single boundary crossed, and I’m done.

” She looks up from her stomach, worrying her lip with her teeth.

“If that happens, though, I don’t want to lose you two. ”

“You won’t lose us,” I promise, at the same time Xan does.

“It’s about time the three of us worked together to heal from all their bullshit, instead of trying to compete for their attention,” he says.

Jazz nods, smiling and rubbing her thumb over her stomach. “Then let’s do it. A new beginning.”

And for the first time, blocking out the voices of my parents in my head doesn’t feel so scary.