Page 26 of Dearly Unbeloved (Spicy in Seattle #3)

ROSE

Heading to work early. Try not to miss me. - S

M y alarm is splitting my head, but I can’t bring myself to turn it off. I squeeze my eyes together like it might dampen the sound, and when it doesn’t, I force myself to sit up. My body moves like I’m dragging my limbs through mud, a heavy, fuzzy weight pressing down on me.

The room is pitch black, save for the light of my phone screen.

7:03

It’s already an hour later than I usually get up, but I snoozed the previous six alarms, and I can’t afford to snooze another and still make it to work. So I switch off my alarm and lay my phone face down on the nightstand, plunging the room into darkness.

My own breath feels heavy and thick in my lungs, my thoughts just a little out of reach. Get up. Shower. Coffee. Car. Drive. Work.

Get up.

Get. Up.

But the distance between my bed and the floor feels a mile long. My body rebels against the thought of putting so much as a toe down on the hardwood floor, my lungs screaming because I can’t seem to force air into them.

I’m semi-aware of my brain screaming, “Not today,” trying to remind me about things like promotions, paychecks, and never-ending to-do lists. But right now, I can’t remember why I ever cared about those things.

It’s not a conscious decision to text Lisa and let her know I won’t be in, to lie back down and tug the covers over my head, to close my eyes and sink into oblivion. It’s just all my body, all my brain, will let me do.