Page 22 of Date Knight (Roll for Romance #2)

First, that people who did get together with someone they’d known their whole life were incredibly lucky.

It was so natural, bringing our families together like we had so many times, and like Chloe had said, we did have so much shared history to fall back on.

Silences were rarely awkward, because we knew each other almost as well as we knew ourselves.

It was funny; Phil and I had never been all that emotionally intimate growing up, but it was like that intimacy had been achieved through osmosis anyway.

Like spending time in close proximity had given each of us all the context we needed for how the other thought and behaved.

There was an ease to that, but it was also infuriating.

Because if we knew each other so well, why had it always been so hard to understand what he was thinking when it came to me?

Why had things blown up so spectacularly before?

I could only assume it was because we weren’t actually together that things were this easy, and all the angst and hurt feelings had resulted from trying to force our relationship to be something it wasn’t.

And that was the second thing I was realising: that our relationship was, despite all the antagonism and rivalry over the years, a friendship. I’d never considered Phil to be my friend, but it was so obvious to me now that that was exactly what he was to me.

I now knew why people were so risk-averse with those friendships.

At the worst of times, I felt certain that this fake relationship was even riskier than a real one, and that when it ended, everything that currently felt so natural and right would be compromised.

Permanently changed, and not necessarily for the better.

* * *

Three weeks before the fantasy festival, Jack and Morgan took off for another camping trip.

Fatima was away visiting her sister, so I was looking after Pablo, and I decided to stay out at Jack’s cabin.

It was easier to get work done there, and my trial for Dad was proving that he desperately needed me full-time.

He’d basically abandoned all the admin now that I was on board, and no matter how well I came across to him and to clients, I was still learning the construction industry, so everything took me twice as long as it probably should have.

And there was even more work to do on the operational side of things than I’d initially realised.

How he’d lasted this long without someone in my role was beyond me.

I’d pretty much completely stopped my virtual assistant work to focus on the work for Dad, trusting that the extra time now would make him see how dedicated I was, and how important the work was, and that he’d bring me on full-time at the end of my trial as a result.

As long as I worked hard, he’d hire me. I’d make sure of it, and I’d sic Mum on him if he didn’t.

Now that I had the quotes in from our suppliers, I tried to focus on building the timeline for the Kenchester job, knowing we had just a few weeks until the final meeting.

But my mind kept wandering to Phil, wondering what he was doing, even though I’d seen him less than twenty-four hours ago, and I’d see him again in less than twenty-four hours, too, and we’d texted just a few minutes ago about him being in crunch mode for the festival costumes.

It was so cliché, thinking about my stupid crush all the stupid time, and I felt like teenage Amy all over again, obsessed about the same fucking boy.

Except that boy was now a sexy bearded man, and it was harder than ever to stop thinking about him.

But after what he’d said about my D sometimes it felt more explicitly related to change and evolution, whilst sometimes the cyclical nature of the Wheel felt more relevant.

Either would have worked; our relationship had definitely changed, and yet there was a cyclical element to it if I thought about five years ago.

But as I looked down at it now, the orange of the Wheel drawn out by the warmth of the wooden deck, I couldn’t help but think of the inevitability the card sometimes represented.

I’d certainly felt that with Phil before.

But then again, I’d been disappointed before, too.

The fact that every card had been upright so far was like a slap in the face.

Usually that meant the situation was straightforward, but it didn’t feel that way to me.

It was like the cards were telling me, “You’re hurting your own feelings, sweetie.

” And I didn’t appreciate that very much, actually.

The sixth and final card, representing the outcome, was naturally the one I was most nervous about.

Were my fears right, and I was heading straight for more hurt?

Would we blow up our lives and the relationships we held most dear because we hadn’t thought things through?

Or would we be able to just step back when the time was right like we’d so optimistically assumed when we’d agreed to it to begin with?

Either way, the inevitability implied by the Wheel made a lump form in my throat, and I held my breath as I drew the last card.

When I saw The Lovers appear upright, I nearly chucked my whole deck in the pond.

* * *

Jack came back from his camping trip the next day in a new car. In this context, new meant a slightly less ancient and slightly longer, but otherwise identical, Land Rover Defender, even down to the paint colour.

“Wow,” I said sarcastically as he got out, standing on his front stoop holding Pablo. “What an upgrade.”

“It’s longer in the back,” he said. “Morgan and I wanna do more car camping so we can take this little guy.” He came towards me in a crouch, waving his fingers and making cooing noises at Pablo, who was wagging his tail so hard his whole body was wriggling. I handed him over reluctantly.

“What did you do with the old one? Trade it in?”

Jack shook his head just as Dad drove it over the hill, pulling in behind the new car.

“I don’t know, Jackie,” Dad said, getting out and chucking the keys to Jack. “It still rides great, and I miss it, but I think your mum would kill me. You’d better sell it.”

He wasn’t wrong; he had his Jeep, his work van, and his flatbed truck littering the drive.

“How much?” I asked, surprising myself with the question.

It would solve a lot of problems for me to have my own car, though I doubted I could afford it; Land Rovers were massively overpriced, even on the used car market.

And plus, I’d been saving up to move out, and whilst I had a nice little nest egg going, even a cheap car would all but wipe it out entirely.