Page 17 of Date Knight (Roll for Romance #2)

“I don’t want to buy any until I know I’m sticking with it.”

“Well, you’re locked in for at least three months,” he said quietly, leaning in close so the others wouldn’t hear.

“That wasn’t one of our rules.”

“Is now.”

“Fuck’s sake,” I said sarcastically. “Pub quizzes, camping trips, D trying to rewrite what had happened in my mind.

I’d been so drunk, but I’d also been so certain that it was finally going to happen.

And I’d been so angry afterwards, most of all at myself.

“I don’t want to talk about that summer,” I said, shaking my head. “It wasn’t the right time is all.”

“I don’t know,” Chloe said. “I really thought it would happen. I guess you were really young still.”

I couldn’t help but sigh in frustration.

I hated that excuse. “I’m five years younger than you lot.

It shouldn’t be weird at this point. Sure, it would have been weird if he’d liked me back when I was fifteen.

Even then I knew that deep down. But that summer, we were both adults, just like we are now. ”

Chloe held up her hands in surrender. “You’re right. I agree. And for what it’s worth, I agreed that summer, too.”

“Plus,” I said, not quite ready to let it go, “that’s basically the same age gap as Morgan and Jack.” I waved towards them sat up on their hill, the light shining perfectly down on them like a storybook cover.

“Yeah, they’re disgustingly cute,” Chloe said, “but I’m sure they’d kill for the shared history you and Phil have. You got there in the end, didn’t you?”

I huffed out a breath, not sure what to say.

Because to everyone else, yeah, it looked like we’d overcome that awkwardness.

But really, I knew that deep down Phil must still see me as a kid.

It was why he hadn’t kissed me five years ago, and who knew, maybe it was why he’d never looked twice at me in the years since then.

Or maybe he had actually liked me back then like I’d thought, but he didn’t anymore. My years in Manchester had changed me, after all, and not necessarily for the better.

But to Chloe, and to the rest, they just saw what they thought was a happy ending to the whole thing.

I hadn’t thought of that downside yet somehow, for all the ruminating I’d been doing.

It felt slightly invalidating; as if all the hurt feelings and mixed signals were being paved over by the fact that we seemed to be past it.

As if I couldn’t feel hurt about it anymore.

Just like Niamh, hoping her happy-ever-after undid all the hurt she’d caused to go after it.

“I don’t know,” I said finally. “Sometimes that shared history feels like pressure. Like, what happens if it doesn’t work out? He’s been part of the family since he was eleven. That’s one messy breakup.”

“Jesus,” Chloe muttered. “Nothing like planning for the breakup whilst you’re in the relationship.”

You have no idea , I thought.

“Look,” she continued, clearly winding up for a pep talk. “I’ve seen you moon over him most of your life. I understand why you’re anxious about it. But if you’re too close-fisted, your fear will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.”

I sighed. She was right; Phil and I had the summer together, and I didn’t want to make it weird by stressing about things that were actually nonissues.

We didn’t have to worry about the fallout from our inevitable breakup because we both knew it would happen, and we could work together to keep it from getting messy.

Chloe looked out at the reservoir suddenly, and I could hear splashing nearby, but I couldn’t bring myself to look at Phil in that moment, so I just kept my eyes fixed on the dock in front of me.

“For what it’s worth,” Chloe added, standing up, “I may ship Phamy, but I’m team Amy at the end of the day.”

I laughed. “Phil calls us Phamy too. Is that seriously our ship name?”

“Don’t change the subject,” she insisted. “I’m trying to be sentimental.”

I held my hands up in apology. “Sorry. Go on.”

She took a deep breath before slipping back into serious mode. “I mean it, Amy. Phil and Jack are my best friends, but you’re my sister. And no matter what happens, that won’t change.”

I smiled up at her, genuinely touched. She was right; she was like my big sister. She’d been there for me when Jack had been away, and even after what had happened with Phil. She’d always had my back.

For a moment, I seriously considered telling her the truth. Maybe having someone else who knew the situation would help make it less of a mindfuck.

But then she had to go and betray me.

“Now!” she yelled, lunging for me, and I realised too late what was happening.

She grabbed one foot as Fatima grabbed the other, and I felt a familiar pair of hands around my waist. I fought back, screaming through my laughter for them to put me down, but it didn’t work.

Of course it didn’t. So I relaxed and let them chuck me off the dock and into the reservoir, only regretting that decision when I hit the icy water.