Page 14 of DaR (Darverius, House of DaR #1)

Chapter Fourteen

KIRA

I don’t wait for him to respond. I walk into the room, turn to the left, and put my hand on the scanner. The wall closes behind me and I’m alone.

I want to curl up in a ball and die, because the fight has completely left me.

It took every last drop of my energy to argue with him.

What’d I ever do that was so bad that I’ve been forced to suffer like this?

Will there ever be another place that’s truly safe for me now that I’m no longer on Earth ?

Will I ever get to go home again? How long have I been gone?

What’s in store for me now? My mind is literally all over the place.

I plop down on the bed and look around; the silence is deafening. The walls are a dull gray color, and there isn’t a blanket or even a pillow on the bed. I want to say this is the worst day of my life, but I’ve had so many here lately I don’t know how to separate them.

I should’ve died on that plane! I could’ve fought harder. Maybe , just maybe, things would have ended up differently if I had. I lay back on the bed, expecting it to be hard as a rock, but it’s actually unusually soft.

I rub at the bruises forming on my wrist and my knees are stinging from the scratches and cuts I got when I was trying to get away from those … well whatever they were. My shoulder and back hurt where that monster yanked and jerked me around like I was his to do with as he pleased.

My body and mind are tired, but I fight sleep because I know this nightmare isn’t going to get better.

I don’t want to shut my eyes, because I know I’m going to see Rick’s face as soon as I do.

I can picture his beautiful blue eyes, so full of life and orneriness; they were so pale you could practically see his heart watching you from behind them.

I would love to imagine he’s watching over me somewhere, but I know he isn’t because he would’ve never stood to the side, alive or dead, while I was being beaten and tortured.

My mind goes back to the last real day I can remember. I could hear the passengers struggling and the screams all around me as I hid underneath that blanket and our luggage. The man I love more than my own life fought for our survival while I hid like a coward .

I’ll never forget the look on his face when they grabbed me. He knew we weren’t going to make it, that I would be forever lost to him. The moment they killed him will haunt my dreams for as long as I live. The light leaving his eyes darkened my soul.

I know, I was blessed beyond belief with the years we had together, but even if we could have had all of eternity, it wouldn’t have been long enough.

He was taken from me too soon. I wasn’t ready to be left alone.

I’ve leaned on him my entire life. Now , I don’t know if I’m strong enough to withstand the horrors of this world without him to see me through it.

Damn , why did I get on that plane? Why didn’t I kiss him more? Why couldn’t we have stayed home? My entire world was wrapped up in him and now I’m rotating in place with no anchor. I’m truly alone.

The sound of his laughter, the feel of his arms, the snuggles on a cold evening.

The little things he did to make me feel special and loved.

Like reaching for me in his sleep or whispering how good I felt in his arms. He would place random flowers where I’d find them.

Sometimes I would find a sticky note saying he loved me stuck on the wall.

All the times we watched the stars and giggled under the blankets like little kids.

I’ll never get to experience any of that again.

Would it have been easier if I’d had a chance to say goodbye?

Do we ever know when it’s going to be the last time we’re together?

If I could only go back, I’d capture every moment we lived in my heart, and I wouldn’t take one moment for granted.

How do you move on from that kind of loss?

I feel like a broken doll and pieces of me are scattered across the universe.

The day will rise again, and I’ll have to walk this path alone; lost and haunted by his memory. How do I take that next step knowing he won’t be at the other end, waiting for me?

I curl up in a ball and cry until exhaustion finally pulls me under.