Page 79 of Damaged Desires

The chicken and dumplings turned to ash in my mouth, and my spoon followed hers.

“You truly are here to protect her!” Maribelle added.

I wanted to roll my eyes in the way Dani was so good at doing, but I didn’t.

Dani didn’t let the topic rest there. Instead, she turned it back to Brady, and soon, she and Maribelle were chatting away aboutFighting for the Stars, music, and other shows I didn’t know. Carson and I just listened. Both quiet. Both unable to bring ourselves to fill the air with simple joys of movies and songs and actors.

When we were done, I took everyone’s bowls to the sink and began washing up. An old habit. Even when we’d had live-in help, it had been my chore.Earning my keep, my mother and father had insisted.Chores kept you busy and out of trouble, had been Carson’s opinion.

“Do you play chess, Daniella?” Carson asked.

“Don’t,” I spoke a warning again over the sound of the water and the dishes.

They both ignored me.

“I do not,” she answered.

“Shame. It’s a delightful game.” Carson’s tone was charming, reeling her in. He waved a hand in my direction. “Nash refuses to play anymore.”

Her eyes journeyed to me. I could feel them burning into the back of my head with more unasked questions, but I ignored the urge to meet her look just as I refused to let Carson guilt me into playing.

“Why don’t you teach me?” Dani said. “I’ll only be here a few days, but you’d at least have someone to play with you.”

She was scolding me, and I would have laughed at the reprimand if I hadn’t understood more than she did about Carson’s mind and exactly what he was doing.

“You two go on into the library. I’ll bring the peach cobbler there in a few minutes,” Maribelle said.

“Peach cobbler,” Dani replied with a dreamy expression. “I haven’t had that in ages.”

“Maribelle’s will ruin you for any other.” I found my words coming out of my chest before I could help it, but when I looked over, it had brought a smile to Maribelle’s face that was worth it.

My uncle rose from the table, and Dani followed him. I met her at the arched entrance to the kitchen. “You’re playing right into his hands. You don’t have to do this.”

She searched my face, but I was unable to give her the answers she sought.

“Maybe I want to learn,” she said.

“You won’t win.”

She stared at me for a long time before breathing out, “Not everything is about winning, Nash.”

But she didn’t understand at all, because it was always about winning with Carson. It had been bled into me, and I was good at it. It was failing I didn’t know how to do well.

Dani

GRAVEYARD

“I keep running when both my feet hurt

I won't stop 'til I get where you are

Oh, when you go down all your darkest roads

I would've followed all the way to the graveyard.”

Performed by Halsey

Written by Allen / Frangipane / Bellion / Johnson / Bell / Williams / Johnson