Page 1 of Damaged Desires

Dani

THE MAN

“When everyone believes ya

What's that like?”

Performed by Taylor Swift

Written by Little / Swift

My eyes were squeezed shut whileahollow dread gripped my entire body. Fear cast its dark hand over every piece of me as the elevator lurched. The blood in my veins was replaced with liquid panic as large hands squeezed my breasts and tore at my dress. The stench of his cologne mixed with the scent of the alcohol poured over me, stifling me, making it even harder to breathe.

My limbs locked up, refusing to execute any of the self-defense maneuvers my Vice Admiral father had taught my sisters and me. Instead, my legs wobbled almost to collapse while his vile threats echoed through the recesses of my brain.

The loud ding of the doors had my eyes springing open, and I took in the empty space.

I was alone.

I thrust myself out of the box and leaned up against a cool marble pillar, running my fingers along the smooth surface, allowing the sensation to bring me back to reality. To the fact I was standing in the Russell Building and not The Oriental Hotel on that dark night over a year ago.

I groaned. I was a ridiculous cliché.

It made me hate Fenway all over again. Made me hate myself because I didn’t consider myself weak, and yet, here was proof I was. I couldn’t step foot in an elevator without reliving it. Without the god-awful sensations filling every part of my being.

I avoided the damn things as much as humanly possible. But the janitor was mopping the stairs, and I was in a hurry because I was already late for the happy hour Senator Matherton and my grandfather requested I attend. So, I’d pushed the button, knowing I didn’t even have my meditation app with me. Knowing there was nothing to stop my brain from going exactly where it had. Hoping today was the day it would disappear, and I’d feel normal again.

It wasn’t.

As soon as I’d realized I couldn’t take the stairs, I should have gone back for my phone. I’d left it in my bag with security so I could quickly slip through the metal detectors and reclaim the umbrella I’d forgotten. The late summer downpour outside had made it impossible to leave the building without it unless I intended to show up at the bar looking like a cat in a bath.

That was not an option. The staff waiting to say goodbye to me was pretentious and backstabbing enough without me giving them extra fodder. The rumors rumbling through The State Building at my departure were already weighing the senator down. It was the reason I was a bag of both regret and relief on my last day.

I pushed my shaking legs into action and stumbled down the hall. As I ducked my head in and grabbed the umbrella, the sound of my name halted me.

“I can’t believe Dani actually left.” It was Gary. He was fairly new, and fairly clueless, but likable in a guileless way.

“It should have happened long before now.” That was Charles. Obnoxious, conceited, and perfect for The Hill, Charles.

“What? Why?”

“It’s hard to trust her after the whole Fenway debacle,” Charles’s voice dripped with condescension.

“What do you mean?” Gary asked.

Charles lowered his voice as he told the story to the newbie. I leaned in to catch the words. “I heard it was a setup. The entire event was orchestrated by Dani to get Fenway kicked out of office.”

My heart stopped and started again, anger flooding the blood vessels which were barely recovering from the panic moments before. I was so tired of this conversation. I was tired of the gossip. Nothing in my life had been the same since that night.

“You’re talking about the guy who attacked her?” Gary’s voice was awash with surprise. “That wasn’t real?”

I could almost see in my mind Charles’s shrug, appearing casual but actually calculated.

“I can’t say either way,” Charles said carefully. He didn’t want to be caught in an outright lie he couldn’t take back. “I’m just telling you why it was hard to trust her. You don’t want to be the one she goes after next with some ‘me too’ bullshit.”

Before last year, I wouldn’t have lost my cool. I probably would have just walked away and gotten my revenge by piling him with so much administrative work he’d be begging me to take it away. But I didn’t have that option anymore.

I stepped into the room, my umbrella swinging back and forth.