Page 2 of Cursed to Love (Cursed to Love #1)

CHAPTER TWO

Friday, August 9

P aige Goshko laughed when her daughter shot off her chair and jumped around, showing something she’d seen that day.

“Emmie,” Paige said gently, “Grandma and Grandpa can’t see you unless you’re in front of the computer.”

Without missing a beat, Emmie climbed back onto her chair and continued her story. “Then, he laughed so hard milk came out of his nose.”

Paige listened as her daughter and parents chatted, clarifying when Emmie launched into the middle of a story without context. At three years old, her daughter’s speech was pretty good. Much clearer than when Paige first started the weekly video chats almost a year ago, after leaving her husband. With Emmie two and a half at the time, many of her words were more gibberish than English. Amazing what a difference a year made.

And not just for Emmie. After getting the courage to leave her emotionally abusive husband, Paige had changed too. Learning what she liked and didn’t. How to stand up for herself and get back on her feet. It hadn’t been a quick process, nor a linear one. It might even be a life-long journey, but she wouldn’t be reliant on anyone again—even if the journey was a lonely one.

A few minutes later when Emmie yawned, Paige looked at the clock in the corner of the screen. “Emmie, time for bed. Please say goodnight to Grandma and Grandpa.”

“Bye,” Emmie said with a wave as she scrambled off her chair.

“Go to the bathroom and Mommy will be right there.”

Emmie raced toward the bathroom before Paige finished speaking. “One more story,” her daughter yelled as she disappeared from sight.

Looking back at the computer, she smiled at her parents. Her mom returned the smile, but it wasn’t the genuine kind she gave her granddaughter. As a daughter who couldn’t live up to her mother’s expectations, Paige received a smaller, more polite smile. The kind she was used to receiving from her mom.

“Didn’t you do Emilia’s nighttime routine before our call?” her mom asked, more like an accusation than a question. “It’s late in the evening to start that now.”

Paige resisted the urge to roll her eyes and didn’t bother pointing out that Emmie had been in her pajamas. “She’s bathed and ready for bed, and I read her several stories. I’ll read her one more to get her settled down.”

“Good. So… I was meaning to mention that Craig’s mom emailed me the other day. We still keep in touch…”

Her mom was the queen of pregnant pauses. At one time, Paige would have jumped in to fill the silence with what her mom wanted to hear.

Not anymore. It had taken Paige the entire twenty-eight years of her existence to figure her mother out, but she finally had. It took an abusive relationship and yearning for something more to wake her up, but it had come all the same.

“She said that Craig is starting to date again. You know, if you?—”

“Kristie, that’s enough. Paige and Craig are divorced,” her dad said quietly, in a tone that brooked no argument. At least from most people.

Her mom gave her husband a glance. “Steve, you know I want what’s best for my children. Paige, it’s not too late. You could talk to him. You have history and a child together.”

Paige held in her sigh, not wanting to appear disrespectful. She loved her mom, but there were days she didn’t like her at all. “Mom, Craig and I are divorced. I told you that when it was finalized months ago.”

Would her mom be pushing for a reconciliation if she knew about the debt Paige had walked away from the marriage with? She hadn’t told her parents about the debt because she worried her dad would offer to help her out, when they couldn’t really afford to. He would offer anyway—even if it meant dipping into their retirement savings—so she’d kept it to herself.

“Yes, but that’s no reason you couldn’t try again. You know that no one in our family has ever been divorced before, so it’s like you just gave up.” Her mother scoffed, obviously not worried about being disrespectful like Paige had.

Paige crossed her arms over her chest as if she could hold in all her hurt and resentment against her ex-husband and her feelings of failure. “I didn’t give up , Mom. I got out. There’s a difference. We’ve talked about this. Craig was emotionally abusive.”

“But maybe—” her mom started again.

“Paige,” her dad said, laying a hand on his wife’s arm, cutting her off. He looked at Paige. “We love you. Both of us. And we want what’s best for you.”

“I know.” She sighed, no longer able to hold it in. “But that’s not Craig.”

“Well, thanks for calling,” her mom said, giving her the polite smile again before disappearing from the frame.

Paige relaxed and smiled at her dad. “Still up for tea?” she asked him.

“You bet. It won’t take me long to make mine, but don’t rush; I’ll be here.”

“Thanks, Dad.” Paige turned off her camera and muted the sound.

She and her dad were close. It could be because they were so much alike, always trying to keep the peace. Whatever the reason, she was grateful for their relationship.

Paige loved her siblings, but she didn’t speak to them much because they were busy. Her brother lived in Italy because he went there to study under a master painter, found his soulmate, and never left. Her sister was a hedge fund manager on Wall Street with a rich fiancé from old-world money and seemed truly happy.

Thinking about her siblings always reminded Paige how much of a failure she was. She didn’t even have a successful career, let alone a loving partner to lean on, who treated her like an equal. Even a solid friend would be enough.

“I’m independent. No one will control me, and I won’t become reliant on anyone,” she whispered under her breath. Whenever loneliness crept in, she repeated the words like a mantra.

“Mommy! I have a book,” Emmie shouted as Paige entered her room. All thoughts of dreams and failures fled her mind for a while.

Less than ten minutes later, Emmie was tucked into bed and Paige was back at her computer with a steaming mug of peach herbal tea. Looking forward to the chat with her dad, she turned her camera and sound on.

“I heard everything about Emmie’s day, which I live for,” her dad said, smiling. “But what about yours?”

“It was Alex Akerman’s funeral today,” she blurted before she thought about it.

“What happened?”

“A car accident.”

“Tragic. Standing room only at her funeral, I bet.”

“Uh… I didn’t go.” She took another sip of her tea, hoping her dad would move on. She was an idiot for even mentioning it because of the conversation it would bring. Except recently, after learning about Alex’s death, she couldn’t stop thinking about Alex and her oldest son.

“I thought you kept in touch with Alex over the years.”

“Mostly Christmas cards. But when I moved back to this part of town, I bumped into her and Kelly Young. You remember Kelly, right? Jake’s mom?” Her dad nodded. “We exchanged numbers, and I met them for coffee a few times. Kelly called to give me the details for Alex’s funeral, but I didn’t feel right going.”

“Why not?”

Because she was an idiot. “I haven’t seen Blake in years and seeing him for the first time again at his mom’s funeral would have been weird.”

They were both quiet for a moment, sipping their teas, until her dad broke the silence. “I used to think you would marry Blake.”

She used to think that too. Had dreamed about a loving relationship where they treated each other as equals and raised a family. Until Craig came back into her life and sweet-talked her, like he always had. “Blake and I only dated for eight months,” she said, trying to downplay her relationship.

“I know. But he seemed like a great guy, and you were happy with him.”

“He was, well, probably still is great.” As for the happy part… she’d learned it was best to rely only on herself for that.

More silence as they sipped their tea, but Paige knew something was coming, because her dad’s brows wrinkled. She’d always thought of it as his “thinking face.” “Paige… Your mom means well, you know?”

“I do, but Dad, she knew Craig was abusive, and she never once stood up for me.”

“That’s not just on your mom, Paige. I didn’t do anything, either. I put blinders on and figured as an adult you knew what you were doing.”

“It’s okay.”

“It’s not, but it is what it is, and you can’t change the past.”

He took a drink as if he needed time to compose himself. Paige did the same, swallowing against the sudden tightening of her throat. Whether it was from her dad’s love or from thinking of her own failures, she didn’t know.

“Well, don’t worry about your mom and her nonsense about Craig. You know she’s never liked the idea of divorce, but that doesn’t matter. It was right for you, so she’ll come around.”

“I hope so.”

“She will. You always knew your own mind. Maybe you got lost for a while, but look at you now,” he said with a chuckle. “You’re a fancy real estate agent, and you’re moving on with your life.”

Paige nodded, happy her dad didn’t know the truth. True, she was moving on, but she was a total mess, both emotionally and financially. She may have left her husband, but it hadn’t fixed her life. Some days she felt like she’d gone from the frying pan to the fire. “Yes, I am,” she said, forcing a smile.

“Plus, you’ve got an amazing little girl.”

“I do, so I can’t ever regret marrying Craig.” That was another of her constant mantras. If she wished she’d never broken up with Blake and hadn’t married Craig, she wouldn’t have Emmie.

“True. Speaking of our little princess, you must be tired after working all day and looking after her. You’ll call again next week?”

“You bet. Good night, Dad. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Paige closed the video app and pulled up her financial spreadsheet. As much as she wanted to crawl into bed and ignore her current depressing reality, she wouldn’t. Sticking her head in the sand and pretending her problems didn’t exist was what got her into her situation in the first place.

It didn’t take her long to update her finances and check what was coming due. With her hand on the laptop’s lid to close it, her gaze landed on her remaining debt amount.

The number seemed to mock her. If she hadn’t been such an idiot to let Craig control all the finances and lie to her, her credit score wouldn’t have tanked. Then, she wouldn’t have been stuck with half of his debt, nor had to take such a high-interest loan to get a car for her job and a security deposit t on an apartment. Needing to buy professional clothes to make herself look like a successful commercial real estate agent had added even more to her debt. The clothes had succeeded at making her look professional, but too bad she didn’t feel it yet. She was still following the fake-it-until-you-make-it model.

Even with renting a one-bedroom apartment and sleeping on the couch to leave the room for Emmie, she was just barely scraping by. She sighed and shut the computer. As her dad said—it is what it is. There wasn’t any point in going over past mistakes, and she had to remember to be thankful for what she did have.