Page 18 of Cursed to Love (Cursed to Love #1)

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

P aige had to read the document four times before she was sure she had filled it out correctly. She’d been distracted all day because of Blake.

Everything had seemed perfect last night and this morning. Blake had touched her and joked like he hadn’t a care in the world. Then seeing him standing in front of the coffee machine, his hands braced on the counter like he was steeling himself for something while blatantly ignoring Emmie, shocked her.

She’d run through their conversation a dozen times, looking for any sign that she had said something to piss him off or frustrate him. It hadn’t been hard to set Craig off, so it got to the point that before she spoke, she rehearsed each sentence in her mind. By the time she finally left him, she felt like she was worried ball of nerves from morning until night. Always waiting for Craig to blow up, belittle her, or take something away because she said or did the wrong thing.

The rose-colored glasses she wore when she met Craig were easy to recognize when she looked back. She’d taken a while to mature and understand people, but she had learned. It was one of the reasons her boss continued to expand her portfolio—she could tell what a client wanted. When to push, when to give them some space, and how to discern what they really meant when they said something vague. Her insecurities were still there, but she could fake it really well.

That’s why she was so puzzled by Blake’s behavior that morning. When she’d known him in college, he’d been distracted by his monstrous pile of responsibilities, but when they had seen each other, he’d been genuine. There wasn’t ever any subterfuge with him. With Blake, you got what you saw, and in the month they’d been living together, there hadn’t been any red flags that said he’d changed.

An image of him at the strip mall when she’d first shown it to him came to mind. He’d zoned out then too. And once when he’d come home from the grocery store, he’d seemed distant.

Holy shit . Was she falling back into old habits and ignoring what she didn’t want to see? Blake would never be the asshole that Craig was, but maybe he was moodier than she first gave him credit for.

If she talked with Blake, could they work on the moodiness thing? Could they still have everything they’d talked about? Or was she trying to sweep problems under the rug again? When he hadn’t even acknowledged her that morning, he’d made her feel lower than if he had stood in front of her like a parent scolding a recalcitrant child. Criticism, even if not deserved, was one thing. But outright ignoring her made her feel like scum on the bottom of his shoe.

If she put up with Blake ignoring her and had to start fearing what she said, or worse—spending hours going over conversations in her head analyzing every word spoken—she would be no better off than she’d been three years ago. She might even be worse because she’d have broken a promise to herself. Everything she’d gone through to teach Emmie to be true to herself would have been for naught.

No. She couldn’t go backward.

She picked up her phone and called the property manager of the apartment she’d seen. It had only been two days ago, so hopefully he still had a place left.

The phone rang twice.

“Broadview Properties.

“Hi, this is Paige Goshko. Is the apartment you showed me the other day still available?”

“No. I rented it yesterday and the other one this morning. I told you they would go quickly. I run a tight ship here. I?—”

“Thank you,” she cut in. She didn’t need him to go into his spiel about how great he was. “Can you please let me know if another unit becomes available in the next month?”

“Sure. On this number?”

“Yes, thank you.” Paige said goodbye and hung up. It was only one apartment; there would be others. Something she told clients all the time. She’d lived with Craig’s asshole-ness for years, so she could put up with Blake’s moodiness until she found an apartment. As long as she didn’t let him shake her resolve, she would be independent and self-reliant once more.

Opening her browser, she began her search for an apartment.

After getting on some wait lists, she had picked up some moving boxes and Emmie, and they were back at Blake’s house.

She wouldn’t be able to move out that night, but she’d be ready as soon as an apartment became ready. With packing tape and boxes in hand, she started in Emmie’s room. She would leave some of the boxes open on top so Emmie could take out something if she really wanted it, but at least the packing would be partially done.

“I don’t want to move,” Emmie whined from her perch on the rocking chair.

For Emmie’s entire life Paige had lived with guilt, always worried that she could never do enough for Emmie or was doing the wrong thing. Maybe guilt just came along as part of the birthing process. When you got a kid, you also got a pile of guilt—free of charge—and they both grew for the next eighteen years.

“I know, sweetie, but we’re going to move into a great apartment.” She only hoped Emmie was too young to know what actually constituted a great apartment. If Paige had to sleep on a couch for the next decade, she would. Providing for Emmie and being an example she could be proud of was all that mattered.

“I don’t want an apartment,” Emmie whined again, loud enough to make Paige wince.

“Why don’t you go play dress-up and tea party? Everything is still in the living room.”

Emmie sighed dramatically. “Fine. If I must.”

Paige bit the inside of her cheek to stop the laughter that threatened to burst out. More and more she was amazed by the things that Emmie said. She picked up new phrases all the time, and this time she’d nailed the inflection.

She’d have to remember to write down that moment in a memo on her phone later. Hopefully, one day Paige would be able to look back at the entry and smile at remembering the adult phrase Emmie used, and not only the guilt of leaving Blake’s.

“Bye,” Emmie said, dragging out the word as she shuffled out of the room like she was heading off to a job she despised.

Paige wasn’t sure whether to smile or shudder at thinking about what Emmie would be like as a teenager. Life definitely wouldn’t be boring.

And as long as Paige did her best and gave Emmie lots of love—even if she wouldn’t be up for a mother-of-the-year award—that would just have to be enough for now.

Moving for the fourth time in a little over a year wasn’t something she wanted to do any more than Emmie did, but staying with Blake and being shut out wasn’t an option.

She wasn’t looking forward to explaining to Blake they were moving out, but she didn’t have a choice about that either.

“Blake!” Emmie shouted from downstairs. “We’re moving. I don’t want to move. I want me and Mommy to stay with you.”

* * *

By the time Blake was almost ready to head home, he still hadn’t figured out what to say to Paige. They usually texted each other a few times a day, but it had been radio silence all day. On both their ends.

“Almost everyone is gone for the day. So, let’s have it,” Jake said as he barged into Blake’s office. He took a seat across from him, and Chewie lay on the floor beside him.

Blake picked up the box he kept under his desk and passed it over to Jake. With a practiced move, Jake took out a chew toy and passed the box back to Blake.

After giving Chewie the toy, Jake laid one foot on his other knee and crossed his arms. “You stormed in here this morning like a bull, and you’ve been an ass all day. I’m guessing you had another episode, so spill.”

“We’re just in time,” Cade said as he walked into the office. He petted Chewie and sat in the other chair across from the desk.

Ford and Dane sauntered in next and leaned against the wall.

“Are you still in a shitty mood?” Ford asked him.

“Hey.” Dane elbowed their younger brother. “Maybe he had a reason.”

“Sorry,” Blake said. “No reason is good enough for being an ass.” Blake ran his hands down his face before dropping them onto the desk. “This time I was taken to the 1920s.”

He told them how the morning had started off so great but left out that both he and Paige had been looking forward to tonight. Then he walked them through the episode and how he’d heard Paige and Emmie upstairs when he’d finally had control of his body again.

Jake looked incredulous. “You didn’t say anything? You just left?”

He sighed, feeling defeated. “I didn’t know what to say.”

“After the episode on Halloween, I thought you were going to tell Paige about the curse,” Cade said.

He hesitated, knowing he should have. “I didn’t agree to tell Paige; you all did.”

Dane smirked. “Yes, because we’re smart and you’re being a dumbass.”

Blake scoffed as the others laughed. Whether he wanted to tell Paige about the curse or not, he wasn’t sure he had a choice now.

Jake uncrossed his legs and leaned forward, piercing Blake with his gaze. “You need to tell her. They’re coming every two days now?”

“I think maybe they’re becoming less frequent.”

“Do you love Paige?” Cade asked like he was cross-examining a witness.

Did he? He wasn’t sure, but he didn’t want to love her because then he would give her the ability to destroy him again. He couldn’t love her.

“No, I don’t love her, but I care deeply for her. Maybe that is enough. When I first started experiencing the episodes, the days in between lessened by one or two days. The seventh and eighth had only two days in between them, but it was four days between this morning’s and the last one. Maybe that trend will continue.” He heard the hope in his voice and wondered if it was wishful thinking.

Cade shook his head. “And what if they don’t?”

“Way to be positive, Mr. Lawyer,” Dane said.

Cade shot him a look over his shoulder. “It doesn’t have anything to do with being positive. Blake needs to be realistic and be prepared in case the frequency doesn’t lessen.”

“I agree,” Jake said and turned to Cade. “Did you get a chance to go through any of the papers you and Blake found? My mom said she read the journals and there was only one reference to the curse.”

Jake turned back to Blake. “Your mom said she was so in love with your dad that she didn’t have to worry about the curse.”

Blake scowled. “Lucky for her,” he said before he could stop himself. Grimacing, he looked at each of his brothers. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair. I’m glad Mom and Dad loved each other so much. For the longest time, I wanted what they had.”

“You could still have it,” Dane said. “You loved Paige once.”

“He can’t force it,” Cade said as he stood. “I’ve got to go, but remember that letter we found from a woman named Martha?”

“Shit. I forgot all about that. Martha was in one of the episodes. Did she mention the curse?”

Cade nodded. “Almost all the old papers were letters from her and she does mention the curse in a couple of them. I scanned them all, so I’ll email you the ones that might help you convince Paige the curse is real. I’ll send you a copy of Mom’s letter too.”

“Thanks.” Blake only hoped it was enough.

Everyone left for the day, and Blake waited until he got the email from Cade before he headed home.

Paige’s SUV in the driveway was a good sign. At least she wasn’t avoiding him.

He walked into the house and barely had time to brace himself before Emmie launched herself at him.

“Blake!” she shouted, making him wince. “We’re moving. I don’t want to move. I want me and Mommy to stay with you.”

The situation was worse than he feared. Paige was avoiding him, and she was not hiding the fact that she was moving out.

Hefting Emmie higher in his arms, he looked her in the eyes. “I’ll go talk to your mom, okay? Maybe we can work something out.” He wouldn’t lie to her, but maybe some reassurance would work for now.

Blake walked into the living room and lowered Emmie to the couch. “How about a movie? Want to watch Frozen ? I don’t think your mom will mind since it’s the weekend.” He mentally crossed his fingers, hoping that wasn’t a lie either. Paige limited Emmie’s screen time, but they did watch movies on the weekends.

About to set up the movie, he paused. If Paige was angry enough to move out, she’d need to be able to let it all out so he could tell her about the curse and they could work through everything that had convinced her she needed to move out. They wouldn’t be able to do that if Emmie was around since he didn’t want her to see her mom and him angry or yelling at each other.

Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he shot Cade a text. Within seconds, Cade was responding.

Blake crouched in front of the couch. “Emmie, I need to talk to your mom. She’s mad because I did something wrong.”

Emmie patted his cheek. “You have to say you’re sorry. Then she’ll forgive you.”

If Blake wasn’t so worried that Paige would never forgive him, he would have smiled at the sage advice. “I hope so. Can you please put on your pink boots? My brother Cade is coming to pick you up so he can take you and Malcolm out for dinner.”

Emmie scrambled off the couch and ran to the foyer. “Pizza?” she asked as she plopped onto the floor, pulling on a boot.

“I don’t know, but you can ask him.”

She hesitated and looked up the stairs. “What about Mommy?”

“I’ll make sure your mom gets something to eat.”

“After you say you’re sorry.”

“Right. Aft?—”

“What are you doing?” Paige asked, her tone more accusatory than questioning.

He turned to look at her and hoped she would hold in her anger until Emmie was gone. “Cade is coming to pick up Emmie to take her to dinner so you and I can talk. I have something to tell you.”

“You can’t just make plans for my daughter without me,” Paige hissed at him.

“We need to talk,” he repeated, hoping it would be enough, and took Emmie’s coat off the hook by the door and helped her into it.

“Mommy, Blake made a mistake, and he needs to say he’s sorry.”

Paige’s lip curled and her face reddened. He worried he shouldn’t have said anything to Emmie.

There was a knock on the door and then Cade walked in. He could probably feel the tension in the air, because he turned right to Emmie. “You ready to go, Emmie? I bought a car seat just for you, so I always have one for you.” He took her hand in his and headed straight through the still-open door. “What would you like to eat?”

“Pizza. I want?—”

Blake shut the door, blocking out the rest of Emmie’s words. He turned around, ready to face whatever Paige threw at him.

“Don’t ever do that again! Don’t send my daughter away!” Paige closed the short distance between them and shoved at his chest with both hands. He stumbled back into the door.

Her eyes widened and she took a step back. “Oh, my god! I’m sorry. So, so, sorry.” She stumbled over the couch and sat on the end, pulling her knees up to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.

Blake sat a few inches from her on the couch. “You have nothing to apologize for.”

“I shouldn’t have shoved you.”

“Not in this case; you have every right to be angry. I had Cade pick up Emmie so you could yell at me all you want.”

“You wanted me to yell at you?” Her lips pressed into a fine line.

“Not usually, no, but in this case, it might be good to clear the air. I’m not angry at you for shoving me, Paige, and I’m not going to react the way Craig did. Will you look at me?” He needed to look directly into her eyes when he explained everything so she’d believe his sincerity.

She lifted her chin, and the hurt he saw in her eyes made him feel like the worst kind of friend. Since he couldn’t erase the hurt his appearance of ignoring her this morning caused, he forged ahead. “There’s something I should have told you before you moved in and—” Her eyes widened again, and she opened her mouth.

He held up his hand. “It’s nothing bad… well, not really. It’s just something my brothers and I learned about when my mom died. I need to explain, and then my strange behavior this morning will make sense.”

“I’m not sure any excuse will be enough. I won’t put with someone ignoring me and making me feel like garbage.”

“You shouldn’t have to.”

“I’ll listen, but I won’t promise anything else.”

“That’s fair.” Blake shifted so his back was against the couch and let out a breath. He still wasn’t sure how to tell Paige he was cursed or if she’d believe him, but he would give it his best shot.