Page 11 of Cursed to Love (Cursed to Love #1)

CHAPTER ELEVEN

Wednesday, October 16

S itting on top of the bed as Emmie cuddled in next to her, Paige read a book about cows and pigs bowing to each other and dancing. She didn’t even need to read the words as she’d memorized them a long time ago. That story and about a dozen others.

She finished and looked down to see Emmie asleep. Laying the book on the stand between the bed and the crib, she carefully lifted herself off the bed while she lay Emmie flat and tucked the blankets around her.

“Mommy loves you,” she whispered, giving Emmie a kiss.

Paige looked around to make sure everything was put away, nothing lying out for Emmie to trip on if she got up in the night.

After putting the books back on the shelf and a doll in a bin, she turned on the small light above the bed.

Flicking off the overhead light, she left the door ajar. She looked at her own bedroom and debated what to do. When Blake had returned from the grocery store the other day, something had seemed off with him. He’d said he was fine, but he’d been in a sullen mood all evening. She finally told him she was tired and would be calling it a night after Emmie was in bed. Living with Craig had given her enough moodiness to last her a lifetime.

The next morning Blake had seemed fine, laughing with her and Emmie. She knew it couldn’t have been a Sunday thing and him just not wanting to go to work on Monday, because he loved his job. One night they’d discussed all the changes he’d implemented at Akerman’s, and his excitement for the company was easy to see. She didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just tell her what was wrong, especially if he truly wanted them to be friends.

Her feelings seemed to be all over the place. That wasn’t exactly uncommon for her, but she hated feeling indecisive. She wasn’t exactly wavering on what she wanted, but sometimes she thought about having more with Blake. Then she would remember what it had been like living with Craig and she’d wonder if the living arrangement with Blake was a mistake. Could his shifting moods be an indication that she might have to tiptoe around him too?

If she left before she got another commission check and her debt still wasn’t under control, she would be right back to where she was. Maybe worse because she wouldn’t have the strip mall to fall back on.

Making a decision, she turned and headed downstairs, wanting to spend time with him, despite all her shifting feelings. Maybe the mood thing the other day had been a one-off. She enjoyed spending time with him.

Even when she loved him years ago, she couldn’t remember if she’d been as obsessed with wanting to see him as she was now. Not only see him but touch him too. Most nights lately she’d had to pull out her battery-operated boyfriend because Blake had the ability to heat her up, even without touching her.

At the bottom of the stairs, Paige heard jazz music playing softly, and it took her back to their time in college. She walked further into the room and a laugh bubbled out of her when she saw Blake.

* * *

Blake knew he’d been a bit of a moody ass on Sunday night. He did his best to shake off Martha’s sadness, but it had stuck with him despite everything he’d done.

He and Paige are friends of a sort, but not like they used to be. They haven’t lacked for conversation, talking about Emmie and what they did each day. It’s all superficial, but a start. Not that Blake always needed their conversations to be deep and philosophical because being sucked into the curse is more than enough deep emotions for him to deal with most days. But if he and Paige learned who each other were now, maybe trust would grow between them.

He was sitting at the table with a backgammon board set up in front of him. He heard Paige on the stairs and rotated in his chair to see her as she walked into the room. Dressed in yoga pants and a baggy sweater, her hair up in a messy bun leaving her neck exposed, made him want to kiss her. No . He had to remind himself that wasn’t on the table. They were friends.

“Care for a rousing game of backgammon?” he asked, his face splitting into a grin.

“Absolutely.” She pulled out a chair across from him and sat. “It’s been a long time. I’m not sure I even remember the rules.”

“No problem.” He gave her a refresher and they launched right into playing.

The first game didn’t take long. Blake sent her pieces back to the start so many times that he won handily. The second time wasn’t quite so fast as Paige got the handle of the game, but he still beat her.

Paige groaned. “Let’s talk while we play, and maybe it’ll drag out the game so it will be longer between each ass-kicking you hand me.”

Blake barked a laugh. “I’m game. No pun intended.”

“Yeah, right.”

Her eyes crinkled in the corners as she moved her first piece on the board, and he knew she was holding in a laugh.

“Last week you told me a bit about Akerman Contracting, but you haven’t mentioned your brothers much. What have they been up to?” she asked.

“You want an overview or the details?”

“Hmmm… how about somewhere in the middle?”

He eyed the board; he could send another one of her pieces back but chose a different move. At the rate she was going, she’d lose again, but he didn’t want to clobber her every game.

“You know that Jake came on full-time as the VP of residential operations when we graduated college?”

“Yes, his mom told me one of the times we met for coffee. She said you expanded the company?”

“I did. Up to that point we only had one operations division, so I split them into residential and commercial. Stewart stayed on as VP of commercial ops until he retired in June. Uh… you might want to rethink that move,” he warned, looking at where Paige was about to place her game piece.

“What?”

“If you do that, you’ll leave these two vulnerable.” He pointed out which ones. Chances are she still wouldn’t win, but if she improved, they’d both have more fun.

“This okay?”

He smirked. “No.” They played the next several moves with Blake talking her through each one.

“Thanks. I’ll get better. Now, Jake is a VP; is he married yet?”

“No, but he has a dog. Chewie, a St. Bernard. And he’s become a bit of a mountain man… Jake, not the dog. Ha, both, I guess. Jake has a huge beard and he wears flannel shirts.” He chuckled just thinking how different Jake was from when he was in college. “You might not even recognize him now.”

Paige captured one of his pieces and winked at him. “I’m sure I would.” She paused and smiled. “I remember the first time I heard all about the notorious juniors—Blake and Jake. You were practically famous on campus.”

“Come on, you’re making that up. All I did was study and work. You never said you knew who I was when we met at that party.”

“Of course I didn’t. Before you arrived, there were a bunch of freshmen girls talking about how hot Blake and Jake were.”

Blake moved his last piece, winning the game, and sat back, arms across his chest. He wasn’t sure he believed her.

“Did you just beat me again?”

“Yes. Another game?”

“One more. If we keep playing, one day I’ll beat you.”

And that was his plan. To improve her skills so she’d keep playing. And when he’d earned her trust, she would see they were good together and she’d stay.

“At least I get to keep going first since I lose every game.” She moved her first piece. “I’m looking forward to seeing Jake again. He always seemed like your brother to me, but tell me about your real brothers. Wait… let me see if I can remember the order.”

Blake smiled, knowing at once what she was talking about. His mom had loved the story of how he and his brothers were named and told almost anyone who would listen. Both his mom and dad had really long names. They both claimed it was a pain to write them on documents and they were constantly having to spell them. They hadn’t wanted any of their children to go through that, so they picked all single-syllable names and named them in alphabetical order.

Having Paige bring up happy memories was something he needed. He had promised himself he would make thinking of happy memories a habit and he hadn’t. With Paige around, maybe it would be easier to remember the good times. He’d been so frustrated with his mom during the last year. Every time she spoke to him, she hounded him about falling in love, and she followed it up with the bedroom decorating incident.

“None of your names begin with an A because of Akerman,” she said like she was proud of herself for remembering. “So you’re the B,” she said, and held up her hand, ticking off one finger. “C is Cade, D is Dane, E… wait, there’s no E. Why was that again?”

“Mom didn’t like any of the boy names that started with E. Cade and I thought it would be a good idea to change Ford’s name to Ernie… I think he and Gage were about four at the time. Of course, being older brothers, we wanted to do it to annoy him, but Ford said he liked Ernie was his favorite Muppet, so he was good with it.”

Paige laughed. “I’m guessing you lost interest when it no longer annoyed him?”

“Pretty much.”

“So no E. And since you said F is Ford, and G is Gage, you ruined my game,” she said with a mock put. “What were your parent’s names again?”

“My dad was Zachariah Bartholomew Akerman, Zach for short. And Mom was Alexandria Evangelina Montgomery, and then became Akerman.”

“Those names are definitely a mouthful.”

“What about your parents? Not their names… I know they’re Steve and Kristie, but how are they?”

“Good. Both retired. They moved to Arizona last year, just before my divorce. Emmie and I video chat with them every week.”

“Did you chat with them on Saturday? Emmie mentioned the next morning that she told Grandma and Grandpa all about bowling.”

A panicked look crossed Paige’s face. “I wasn’t trying to keep secrets from you.”

He’d seen that look a lot over the last week and a half. He expected it had something to do with how her ex-husband had treated her. “Paige, you’re an adult. If you want to keep secrets, you can. Although I wouldn’t exactly call you not telling me about a video chat a secret.”

“Okay,” she said, but in a voice that said she still didn’t believe him.

“What did your parents say about you and Emmie moving in with me?”

“I didn’t tell them.”

“Why not?”

Her shoulders hunched forward and she picked up a game piece as if suddenly finding it fascinating. “I… uh… I told them we got a new apartment, but it’s on a temporary lease.”

He knew she didn’t trust him, but it sounded like she wasn’t even going to try. “You plan on leaving soon?”

“No… I don’t think so. But what if this doesn’t work out? Ah… Are you mad?”

In a heartbeat, their conversation had gone from laughing about his brothers to a palpable presence that draped over the room like a thick and suffocating blanket.

Blake hated the insecurity and nervousness he saw reflected in Paige’s eyes.

He stood and walked around the table. Holding out his hand, he waited for her to place hers in his. When she did, he gently pulled her up and held her upper arms lightly. “I’m not mad and you can do whatever you want. I just like having you and Emmie here.”

Her breath came out on a shudder. “Okay.”

“Can I give you a hug?” he asked, looking into her eyes.

She nodded and when he opened his arms, she walked right into them.

* * *

Blake felt like everything she remembered, plus more. His embrace was exciting and comfortable, familiar and new. He didn’t hold her too tightly, but with the feel of his muscular chest underneath her cheek and his fresh, citrusy scent surrounding her, she wondered what it would feel like if he did.

During the week and a half they’d lived together she’d begun to want some of the closeness they used to have. But every time she thought about talking to him about it, she would panic and waffle like she had earlier in the evening.

She was so afraid of losing her independence that she wondered if in trying to protect it, she was losing other parts of herself. For years she’d identified as what she was to others—a daughter, a wife, a mother. Now she was a realtor, a friend, and a roommate. She used to be a sexual woman, but she’d lost that along the way.

Having sex with Craig had knocked down her self-esteem until she no longer felt pretty or even capable of anything, let alone like the sexual creature she used to be.

She wanted to be that person again. It wouldn’t be easy, and she wasn’t even sure she’d be able to confess to Blake all she’d been through and what problems she now faced. But, if she tried and she still couldn’t let go, at least she would have the intimacy she hadn’t had in a long time. And it could be fun.

Digging deep for her courage, she pulled out of Blake’s embrace so she could look him in the eyes. “Kiss me, Blake.”

His eyes widened and he took a step back. “I wasn’t asking for that, Paige. I just wanted to give you some comfort.”

“I know.” She licked her lips and Blake’s gaze dropped to her mouth as she took a step toward him.

“Are you sure, Paige?”

“Yes. I want you to kiss me.” She felt empowered by voicing what she wanted.

Paige moved closer to Blake and wrapped her arms around the back of his neck. Lifting onto her toes, she tilted her chin up and pressed her lips to his.

They were soft against hers and when his tongue touched hers she opened her mouth, letting him in. Their tongues tangled in a slow, exploratory dance. And just like their very first kiss years ago, she felt a tingle in her core.

The sudden desire from such a simple touch surprised her. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it, but that she hadn’t felt anything like it in years.

Blake lightly bit her bottom lip before running his tongue along it and deepening their kiss.

His hands rested on her hips, but he kept several inches of space between their bodies.

Paige wanted more. Pressing against him, she could feel his hard length and knew he was as aroused as she was, but he was letting her set the pace.

The kiss went on for several more minutes until he lifted his head. Their heavy breathing drowned out the sound of the soft jazz coming from the speakers.

A sexy smile graced his lips. “Wow. I wasn’t expecting that.”

She huffed out a small laugh. “It was good, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” A worried look replaced his smile, and he pulled back. “I’d like nothing more than to kiss you again, Paige, but I’m not the relationship kind of guy anymore.”

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to laugh at his arrogance or cry that he might not accept her next offer.

Getting into his space again, she walked forward until his back was against the wall. Blake had never been a pushover, but he was probably worried about ruining their friendship. Little did he know.

She poked him in the chest. “Awfully arrogant of you, don’t you think, Blake? Did I say I wanted to get married? No, I did not. I will never get married again, Blake. Never. You got that?”

The corners of his mouth twitched slightly as if he was trying to hold back a grin. “No marriage. Got it.”

“Good. Now, kiss me again.”

His eyes flared with surprise. “Yes, ma’am.”

Blake grasped her by the hips and flipped their positions so that Paige’s back was now against the wall. He planted his one hand on the wall beside her head and cupped the back of her neck with his other one. He leaned down so slowly, she felt her breath catch in anticipation and she parted her lips in invitation.

This kiss was different from the last—more sultry and exploratory—as he took his time.

When she gave his chest a soft push until he lifted his head, both of them were panting. With his hand still planted on the wall, he leaned his forehead against hers. That kiss was even better than the first. Maybe because it was still new between them. She figured that eventually their chemistry would level off, like it had with her ex-husband. Although, she wasn’t sure it was ever like this.

Now that she knew they were thinking the same, she was ready to take the next step to find her inner sexual creature.

She pressed a little harder on his chest, forcing him back. “That was fun. We should do it again sometime,” she said, her eyes glowing with mischief.

Blake laughed. “I agree. Often.”

Paige knew what she wanted to say, but that downtrodden person she’d become in the last decade hesitated, worried that she would say the wrong thing.

When Blake turned toward the table to pack up the game, Paige dug deep to find the sexy creature she used to be. Then she straightened her shoulders, adding the woman who’d had the courage to move into a strip mall, next to the sexy creature.

“Blake?”

He turned around to face her. “Yeah?”

“Do you think we’re doing well as roommates and friends?”

“Yes. Don’t you?” he asked, looking confused.

“Yes. Very well. Which got me thinking… what if we added something to our friend agreement?”

“Like what?”

“Some benefits.” Paige smirked at Blake’s surprised look.

“Benefits? Friends’ benefits?... Just so I’m clear… Are you suggesting we have sex?”

Paige grinned. “Yes. Friends, roommates, rousing games of backgammon, and sex without strings.”

He barked a laugh. “I accept.” He stuck out his hand and they shook on it.

They worked together to finish boxing up the game “I had fun tonight,” he told her.

“Me too. Want to go for round two tomorrow?”

Blake smirked. “Of what?”

Good question. They should probably clarify that. “Let me ask you a question first.”

When he nodded, she thought about how to phrase what she wanted to ask. “You’ve had friends with benefits before, right? So when did you see them? On weekends?”

“Mostly.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. We’ll save sex for the weekends.”

“Sure. I can live with that. Saturday then?”

Paige’s inner sexy creature wanted to say yes, but the other part of her that was still a bit cautious wanted to make sure they were doing the right thing. “How about next Saturday? After the Halloween party? That will give us ten days to get tested and time to make sure it’s what we both want.”

“Agreed. And as much as I’m looking forward to our benefits, I want you to know that when I pulled out the game earlier tonight I just wanted to get to know you again.”

“I know.” She was looking forward to the benefits too and as long as she kept her independence, she might be able to have everything she wanted.