Page 26 of Crossroads

TWENTY-FIVE

“I don’t know how you’ve gone your whole life without swimming in a pond,” Jasper says, relaxed with his arm tucked behind his head.

I roll to look at him, his body glistening in the sun. We put our pants back on, but we left our shirts off. “Have you ever swum where you can see the bottom? It’s superior.”

He chuckles. “Yeah, I used to go to the city pool, but I think you’re wrong.” He sweeps his hand out into the air above him. “This is far superior.”

You know, when I first got here, it felt like torture.

I didn’t understand how people could live like this.

But now, I guess I’m starting to see the appeal.

It’s quiet, and sometimes, it seems too quiet—that is until a rooster crows or a cow moos.

Then you realize it’s loud here too, just in different ways.

I let my finger lazily drag from his belly button, tracing over the hair there that leads to the top of his jeans. “You ever going to let me inside you?”

His eyes snap to mine in surprise, and for a minute, I think he’s freaking out until a slow grin spreads across his lips. “I thought you’d never ask.”

“Really?” I’m surprised, I can’t lie. I’ve been thinking about it for a while now, though I’m perfectly happy—and by happy, I mean fucking ecstatic—having him inside me. But I want to know what it feels like.

I want all of him.

“Really,” he says, and then his grin widens. “I just didn’t think you’d get off my dick long enough to allow it.”

I toss my head back on a laugh because I have become pretty greedy for dick lately. I mean, sue me. It feels really fucking good.

“Well, I suppose I can make an exception once or twice,” I tease, and he leans forward, kissing me hard.

We don’t jerk away all that fast when we hear the rumble of a truck. It’s more a subtle, calm separation. But my hand is still cupping his cheek when Kelly pulls up, honking her horn to warn us she’s approaching.

She knows we’re together. She hasn’t said it outright, but she does love to tease us about love bites being visible and us looking awfully tired. She seems to get great joy from it, and it doesn’t bother me or Jasper in the slightest.

Another thing that has surprised me because I have to admit, I was worried he’d freak the fuck out. But so far, he just goes along with her gentle teasing and seems quite entertained by it himself.

Kelly hops out of her truck, her smile mischievous as she takes in our relaxed poses by the pond. “Hot day, huh, boys?”

“You know it,” I say. “We just had to go for a dip.”

“Mm-hmm.” She laughs, waving me off. “Your mom called today, sweetie.”

All my relaxation quickly melts away with that one sentence, and I sit up a little straighter, pulling my hands to my lap. “What did she say?”

Jasper pulls on his shirt and hands me mine, clearly sensing the tension. Kelly walks over and sits down next to me on the grass. “She just asked how everything has been going.”

“Nice of her to care,” I say bitterly.

Kelly purses her lips tightly, probably biting her tongue at my attitude. “I told her how much help you’ve been. How great it’s been to have you here with us and how you’ve stayed out of trouble.”

“And she passed out from shock, right?” I ask, trying to keep it playful, but it doesn’t go over well. She smacks my arm playfully but doesn’t lecture me on it.

“No. She’s proud of you, Emerson.” I look over at Jasper and see he has his face in an unreadable mask and then look back at Kelly, whose eyes are pleading with me to cool it. “She said she’s going to send a payment to your college today. Congratulations, honey.”

“What?” I say, completely stunned as she pulls me in for a tight hug. “That’s it?”

Kelly releases me, a big smile on her face. “Yes. That’s what you wanted, right?”

“I um . . .” I look at Jasper, who’s still totally unreadable and then back at Kelly. “Yeah. I just . . .” It’s what I still want, right? I blink, my mouth feeling dry. I don’t really know what to say. “What college?” I ask.

She looks slightly confused now. “Oh, I didn’t ask. I just assumed you had one picked out.”

I did, but it wasn’t the one she wanted me to go to. So that’s the catch, I bet. She’ll pay for my college, but it’ll be her choice of college. I’m an idiot for not asking about that before I came here.

I should have negotiated. My father raised me better than that. If he taught me anything, it was that everything is up for negotiation.

“Hey.” Jasper’s deep rumble startles me as he places a hand on my shoulder. “You should call her. No use freaking out until you know for sure.”

I nod my head numbly and thank Kelly for giving me the news. I put off the phone call, though, until we’re done with chores and have sat down for dinner with the family.

And they are my family. Even without them sharing my blood, they’d still be family to me. And Jasper—oh, Jasper.

He’s quickly become so much more to me. I haven’t told him I love him, despite feeling it. I’m a coward. I don’t know if it’ll be returned, and I know this is all supposed to end, but I find myself wanting to say it more and more lately.

Creeping along my senses and wanting to burst out of my mouth.

But I’ve held back, and now my mom is paying for my college, and summer is coming to an end.

When we finish dinner, Jasper and I head to his loft apartment, not even bothering to hide that we’re going there together. I pull my phone out of my pocket and just stare at it.

If she thinks I’m going to her school of choice, she’s got another thing coming. I won’t do it. I’ll just stay here and be a fucking farmer.

The problem is . . . I don’t know what I’m hoping for.

Staying here means staying with Jasper. I look at the phone and close my eyes slowly when I feel Jasper’s fingers gripping my chin and lifting my head up. I open them and stare into his green orbs. “Call her. You have to know for sure.”

I want to tell him it doesn’t matter. That I’ll just stay here with him, but the truth is I don’t know if I’d be happy with that life. I love him, and I want to live here with him, but I crave finding out about the rest of the world.

I want to travel and explore. I want to live my own life that isn’t dictated by rules and the expectations of my parents.

“Call her,” he says again, more firmly this time and then drops his hand from my face, starting to get up from the bed.

I grab his wrist and look at him desperately. Silently asking him to stay. He does, offering a reassuring smile as I scroll through my phone and find my mother’s number.

I dial and let it ring. It rings three times before she answers, “Emerson?”

“Mom,” I say, my voice croaky. “Aunt Kelly said you paid for my college today.”

“I did. I just got finished doing that, actually. I paid for the entire first year. Congratulations.” She doesn’t sound disappointed or all that proud. It’s not really a dead tone either, though I hear a hint of something there. Something I can’t quite decipher, but it seems like she’s pleased.

“For which college, Mom?” I ask, my voice shaking, and I notice my foot is tapping on the wood floor below, dangling off the edge of the bed.

She’s quiet for a moment, and I just know it’s going to be bad news. They’re going to fuck me over. Of course they are. I was so damn stupid not to make sure what the deal was. “California.”

I freeze. “California? You chose the school I wanted?”

She huffs into the phone now. “Of course I did, Emerson. It’s your life. If you want to go off to college in California, who am I to stop you?”

I sit there, totally dumbfounded. Who is she right now? She’s been fighting me on this for years.

“You start in two weeks. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to fly there and we’ll get you a car or if you wanted to drive . . .”

“Drive,” I say instantly, my eyes locking on Jasper’s, who’s listening quietly, his expression solemn. “I want to drive there from here.”

My mom is once again quiet for a moment but clears her throat softly.

“All right, then. I can have some of your things shipped there. I paid for you to live in the dorms for the first year. I think that will do you good. Keep you structured. If you do well your first year, keep your grades up and stay out of trouble, we can talk about off-campus living.”

I’ve zoned out a little as she goes over the details, my focus on Jasper and what he’s thinking right now.

“Okay, Mom. Thank you,” I manage when she stops talking.

“I’m proud of you, Emerson.” That sentence is one I never thought I’d hear from her, and I don’t really know what to say.

“You should come to Kensley before I leave. See me off,” I blurt out.

“Oh . . .” she stumbles over the simple word. “I’m not sure about that. I . . . I put Kensley behind me.”

“And then you sent your only son here.”

“I’ve gotten everything I ever could from that town, Emerson.” There’s that sharp tone I’m used to.

She’s shutting me down, and I know she won’t be making the trip. Fine by me. I’m almost free.

“I’ll talk to you soon,” she says. “Send you all the details.”

I have no doubt I won’t actually hear her voice for a while, but I don’t push it and thank her again before I hang up.

I drop my phone next to me and look at Jasper.

He’s forcing a smile—it’s not even close to his real one. “So . . ” he starts. “California, huh?”

I nod numbly in answer. The whole thing not really feeling real.

California.

Not Kensley.