Page 52

51

MAEL

I was distinctly aware that I was dreaming.

And it wasn’t a nightmare, a revisit of a childhood memory that had haunted me for so long.

It was something else entirely.

I dreamed of my mom.

She was happy and smiling.

I grew up poor in a single mother’s household. We didn’t have a lot, and Mom had worked long hours just to put a roof over our heads.

Things weren’t always great, but the happy memories seemed to balance out all the shit, and I did remember a time when I was truly innocent in the world.

This was one of those times.

We were running around in an expansive field, the grass green, the day hot, with the sun shining brightly.

We were playing tag.

Mom always let me win, convincing me that I really was one of the best runners in the world.

It boosted my confidence, making me feel as if I could take on anything and everything.

“Time out,” Mom called.

I stopped running and looked back at her. She was breathing hard, but she was smiling.

I rushed back to her waiting arms, burying my face in her stomach and taking in the familiar, comforting scent that seemed to just scare away all the monsters.

“Look at how fast you’ve gotten, my lovely boy.”’

I grinned up at her.

Her smile faltered.

I never understood it before—why she would sometimes look at me like this—and it wasn’t until I got a little older that I realized it was because I had my father’s eyes.

Leo raped my mom when she was only eighteen, and her parents kicked her out for getting pregnant.

She never took any of that anger out on me, though I knew it sometimes made her uneasy to look at my eyes and see my father.

I had it better than Theo, at least. His mother hated him for what had happened to her. Up until her death, when he was sent to foster care, but my own mom…

And suddenly, I wasn’t that little boy in her arms anymore but a grown man. I stood up to my full height.

For the first time, Mom had to tip her head back to look me in the eyes and not the other way around. But her face remained frozen in age. She was still that beautiful twenty-three-year-old who had her life taken away from her way too soon.

She never lost her smile.

“I miss you so much,” I said to her.

She reached up and patted my cheek affectionately. “My sweet, beautiful boy. I’m sorry Mom wasn’t there to protect you.”

I shook my head. “It’s not your fault.”

No matter how shitty my life got, I had never blamed her for not being there.

“It doesn’t make it any easier, does it?” she asked.

I shook my head. No, it didn’t.

“I love you, sweetheart. But you don’t belong here with me.”

“Why?” I croaked out. For the first time, there wasn’t any pain. There was no guilt or remorse or detachment. There was just contentment.

She smiled sadly at me. “Because you have people who need you, sweetheart. Lia and Theo… your child.”

“My child?”

Lia’s smiling face entered my mind.

I promised her I would never leave her behind, no matter what.

“I need to get back,” I said.

She nodded. “Yes, you do.”

The sight of her started to blur in front of me, and I didn’t know what to make of that. I tried to hold onto her, but she was slipping through my fingers.

“I love you,” I told her. I didn’t get to tell her often enough when she was alive. I never thought she would leave me so soon, but now…

“I love you so much.”

“I know,” she said softly before disappearing altogether. And then I felt like I was being pulled under, and there was no air to breathe.

I struggled against the force, but it was no use.

Nothing was helping.

Fuck.

The air disappeared completely, and there was nothing but silence. It felt like I was underwater, in the vast ocean, unable to determine which way was up and which way was down. The current pushed and pulled me in all sorts of directions.

Darkness took hold and…

And…

And…

I gasped and opened my eyes.

Beside me, someone cried. Then more shouting. There was this annoying, incessant sound ringing in my ears.

Lia came into my line of vision. She was crying.

Baby, why are you crying ? I tried to say. The words would not come.

She said something to me I didn’t understand.

I shook my head. She grabbed my hand, her voice becoming clearer.

“It’s okay. Please don’t fight. Please don’t panic. They’re going to help you.”

Who?

Who was going to help me?

I wanted to ask her, but she was being pulled away from me. And then strangers in white came in. Doctors?

I didn’t fucking know anymore.

I was just too tired.

Too fucking tired.

Black touched the edge of my vision before everything faded away, and I lost consciousness once more.

* * *

The second time I woke up wasn’t as dramatic.

It was dark.

I could see the moon from outside the window.

And I was in the hospital. I knew that much.

Lia was fast asleep on the chair next to my bed, her head on the mattress, her hand holding mine.

I reached over with my free hand and ran it gently down the side of her cheek.

Someone shifted on my other side, and I turned to see Theo sitting on the other chair.

He didn’t react when our eyes connected, not that I had expected him to.

“How long was I out for?”

I had expected him to say days. Hell, I would even be okay with weeks, but he surprised me when he said, “One month and four days.”

I blinked, trying to process everything. Over one month.

I lost one month of my time.

“Lia?”

“Holding on by a thin thread,” he answered.

My fist clenched. Fuck, of course that had been the case.

“Tell me everything that happened after I went down. Was she hurt?” I asked, the memory of that day coming back to me, of when Luckas pushed her off the railing. The absolute horror I had felt seeing her go down and knowing there wasn’t anything I could do about it… to when I hit the ground, and all I felt was this unimaginable pain, as if my entire body was on fire, right before I passed out completely.

“She wasn’t hurt too badly, thanks to you. You took most of the impact from the fall. I managed to tie Luckas to the railing while I waited for Keller to show up, which the fucker did. The FBI questioned us. I think Keller suspected we were the ones working with him, though he had no proof. Luckas is currently sitting in prison, awaiting trial.”

He gave it to me monotonously, as if he were reciting the weather.

I hadn’t expected anything different, but something haunting about how he looked as he said it gave me pause. “Are you okay?”

“Yes, why wouldn’t I be?”

“Theo…”

“You could have been taken from me.”

I blinked. “But I’m still here.”

“Not fucking good enough. This past month has been hell. I didn’t know if you were going to wake up or not. And it wasn’t just me. Lia hadn’t been sleeping or eating. I had to force her to eat. Do you fucking know that she?—”

He shut his mouth suddenly.

“I know. Thank you for taking care of my girl. And thank you for holding down the fort when I couldn’t.”

He shook his head, anger still in his eyes, though I knew he wasn’t angry with me.

“Don’t ever do that to me again.”

I smiled. “I won’t. I promise.”

I wiggled my foot, feeling something there.

“You broke your leg,” Theo said when he noticed where my attention was.

“What else?”

“A sore back you’re going to be feeling for a while, fractured rib on your right side, and a broken leg. You also hit your head pretty hard. There was some swelling and bleeding, which is why you were in a coma for so long. They had to operate. Which is why one side of your head is shaved.”

I frowned and touched my hair. Sure enough, I felt a bald spot on the left side of my head, shorter strands of hair than I was used to, and some longer strands of hair.

“You look fucking stupid,” Theo said.

I glared at him. “ You look fucking stupid.”

“Real mature.”

Beside me, Lia stirred.

“You guys have things to talk about,” he said, standing up from the chair. I didn’t like the way we left things. I knew this was going to affect me for some time, but fuck.

“Theo?” I called out when he was by the hospital door.

He paused for a long second before turning around and looking at me blankly.

“I love you,” I said. I didn’t think I told him that enough. We said it when we were younger, but the older we got, the more infrequent it became until it stopped altogether.

His shoulders sagged. “I love you too, asshat.”

I shook my head and grinned at him. He didn’t smile back, but he looked better. Lighter.

I turned back to my girl. She let out a small groan and sat up, stretching her muscles. That position couldn’t have been comfortable. My poor baby.

I waited for her to notice I was awake.

She didn't disappoint. Her eyes connected with mine, and they widened comically.

“Mael!”

She rushed toward me, hugging me from the side and hitting my sore rib. I held in a groan, not saying anything.

She pulled back, tears welling in her tired eyes.

“Baby,” I breathed out, wrapping my arms around her and pulling her in closer to me. “It’s okay. Don’t cry.”

She shook her head against me and cried harder. “I’m so glad you're okay, you stupid, stupid man.”

She pulled back and lightly slapped my chest.

I grabbed her hand and held it there.

“How could you do something so stupid?”

“By protecting you?” I asked. I cupped her cheek until she was looking at me. “Silly girl. I would have died a thousand painful deaths if it meant you’re safe.”

“W-What about you? I need you to be safe as well, don’t you know that? I need you.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” I said. Who else would protect her if I’m gone? No, I planned on living a long life if for nothing more than to keep all those fucking bastards away from my girl.

“You promise?”

“I promise,” I said, moving back on the bed. “Lie down with me.”

She eyed me. “You’re injured.”

“So?”

“So I don’t want to hurt you.”

“I don’t fucking care,” I said, pulling on her arm until she was with me on the bed. She carefully lay down close to my side, and I tightened my arms around her, biting back a groan. That fucking hurt, but it was so fucking worth it.

We stayed there for a long while. I pressed my hand on her still-flat stomach. It might have been nothing more than a dream, but…

“Baby?” I asked, breaking the silence.

“Yeah?”

“Are you pregnant?”

She didn’t show any reaction, but I could feel the air shifting around us.

“How did you…”

I smiled. “You’re really pregnant?”

Tears sprang to her eyes, and she mutely nodded.

I closed my eyes briefly, feeling my own emotion swelling inside me.

Fuck, Lia was pregnant.

She was pregnant with my child.

I pulled her in closer to me, kissing the top of her head and feeling so many things at once, I didn’t know which to focus on.

“Mael?”

“Yeah, kitten?”

“Thank you for saving me.”

I shook my head. “You don’t ever have to thank me for that. After all, it was what I was put on this earth to do.”

And that was the fucking truth.