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MAEL

I let her take control of the kiss, savoring the taste of her against me, and let her wash away everything bad and everything shitty and just… be.

She kissed me harder, her lips molding around mine perfectly.

I reached my hand up and played with her tits, moving from one to the next, feeling her whimper when I hurt her.

I fucking loved hurting her like this.

I fucking loved showing her my rough side.

I fucking loved that she could take it.

I fucking loved…

She pulled away on a cry, and I flipped us around, prying her legs apart and settling myself there. I pushed down until she could feel my cock pressed up against her.

She stilled beneath me.

I pulled back.

I couldn’t see her clearly, but I had been so attuned to her body from the start, I knew when there was a change in her. I felt it when she kissed me.

Was she starting to understand?

Did she finally recognize me?

I smiled at the thought and bent down, kissing her once more, taking in the taste of this sweet girl beneath me, knowing she belonged to me and no one else.

She wrapped her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist.

I didn't wait.

I grabbed my cock, squeezing the tip to keep from coming too soon before I directed it to her entrance, plunging inside and taking everything from her.

Home.

Fuck, but it was like going home.

There would be nothing that felt more euphoric than this. There never would be. Not even Leo Briggs’s blood on my hands, though I imagined that would be a close second.

She made a small whine when I fucked her, giving her no chance to catch her bearings.

“Fuck,” she whimpered out, her nails digging into my skin.

“Feel good, baby?”

I felt her nod against me before she spoke. “Yes. So good.”

I pushed my hand between us, my finger seeking out her fat clit, strumming along the bundle of nerves, knowing it would be enough to get her off.

Sure enough, I felt her legs jerk against me before she threw her head back and screamed out her orgasm, the walls of her pussy clenching down and milking my dick.

“Fuck,” I gritted out before I shot my cum inside her, feeling a deep sense of satisfaction at being able to mark her like this.

I let my weight go, falling on top of her and creating a little cocoon around her as if to stop reality and stop all the bad shit from intruding on us. As if like this, I would be able to keep her forever, safe and sound.

I’d follow her anywhere to make it so.

Even in death.

* * *

I opened the door for Lia, my eyes taking her in from head to toe. The only disadvantage of being with her as her stalker—the name she so aptly gave me—was the fact that I wasn't able to see her face in the light.

And fuck if I didn’t miss it… miss her.

“Hey,” she said cautiously, her eyes roaming over my face, as if she searched hard enough, she might be able to find the answer.

I held in my smile. She should know that getting the truth from me was as easy as her simply asking. I wouldn’t ever lie to her. Whether or not she could accept the answer was a different story, but the answer would be the same, no matter what.

She just had to ask: Mael, are you my stalker?

Lia was smart. I knew she suspected it, but there was a part of her that wished it wasn’t true, so now her brain was searching for all the clues to support that.

“Come on in, baby,” I said, moving off to the side just enough for her to squeeze through. She looked at me, then at the small space, then back at me, hesitating.

“Why don’t we spend the night at my apartment?”

I couldn’t help it.

I smiled then. Smart girl. I couldn’t possibly be in two places at once.

“You’re already here, aren’t you?” I asked.

She nodded. Couldn’t argue with that logic.

“Next time,” I conceded. “Next time, we’ll spend the night at your place.”

Her shoulders relaxed. “Yeah?”

I nodded. “Aren’t you gonna come in?”

Again, that small hesitation.

“Are you afraid I might not let you leave if you come in?”

Her chin rose in challenge from the tone of my voice as she pushed her way inside, brushing up against me as she did.

I closed the door and wrapped my arms around her waist, pulling her in close to me and pressing a kiss on her cheek. “That does sound tempting though.”

She glanced sideways at me, letting out a small chuckle that was half amused, half nervous. “Don’t joke about something like that.”

I didn’t say anything to that. I was about to kiss her again when she pushed me away, walking further into the apartment. I stalked her movement with my eyes and watched as she walked up to the floor-to-ceiling window, looking out at the city. The lights glittered in and out in front of us. I walked up to her, leaning down and pressing my lips on her neck.

She tensed slightly for a quick second before relaxing back into my arms.

That’s my girl.

She tilted her head to the side to give me better access. I ran my lips up and down the soft skin there, resting my hand on her stomach, pulling her back until she felt my hard-on.

I could see her reflection in the window, could see the way her mouth fell open as pleasure etched into every facet of her face. I could see the way her hands were balled into tight fists as if she was afraid she might lose control of herself and reach out to touch me.

I grabbed her arms and pulled them until she had them twisted around my neck. Her fingers played with the strands of hair at the nape of my neck, urging me on. I leaned down and took her lips with mine, kissing her with everything in me.

Fuck.

Every time I kissed her always felt brand new. It always made me feel things I hadn’t thought I was capable of. If it were possible, I thought she might have made my heart race. But I’d settled for the lightness, the contentment that her kiss brought me.

I could spend forever kissing this girl in my arms.

I turned her around and pressed her body against the glass window with mine. She pulled away from the kiss first, looking up at me with some unnamed emotion in her bottomless brown eyes.

“What?” I asked her softly.

She tightened her arms around my neck, shaking her head slightly, and said, “Nothing.”

Then she smiled at me. That smile made me feel about as powerful as an army of two thousand men.

I hauled her up in my arms, letting her wrap her legs around me, and I pressed in against her.

“Mael.”

” I got you, baby.” And I did have her. I would hold on to her for as long as I breathed.

I kissed her as I moved us away from the window and into my bedroom, gently setting her down on the bed and showing her all the ways she belonged to me, and that was all there was to it.

* * *

Right away, I knew I was dreaming.

I was having a nightmare. I was revisiting an old memory. One I thought about from time to time, for nothing more than to remind myself of the past and why I was doing what I did. Why it didn’t matter how many lives I had taken before because they fucking deserved it, and I would do it all over again if I needed.

Perhaps I had spent too much time inside the dark recesses of my mind.

It had been so long since I’d had a nightmare, and I didn’t know what brought this on.

My surroundings were dark.

And I was me, but I wasn’t. At least, not the me in this time. I was twelve, perhaps thirteen. I was gangly and awkward, still stuck in the middle between being a helpless little kid and the man I would grow to be.

And I was scared.

It had been so long since I was scared, but I could feel it now—the way my heart jumped rapidly inside my chest as if begging to be set free. The way my breathing had increased, and I was on full alert, not knowing which direction the monster would come at me from.

I twisted around when I heard a sharp sound coming from behind me, but it was too dark to see anything.

“Hello?” I called out, my voice meek and childlike. “Is anyone there?”

I already knew how this story ended. I had already lived it once in real life and a million times after, in my dreams, shortly after Theo and I managed to escape.

This dream didn't have a happy ending.

And there was no escaping. I could only let it play out.

The lights turned on, and I found myself standing alone on the metal railing of an old factory.

The factory was dead in the middle of nowhere. No one was around to hear me plead for help. No one was around to hear us scream.

About a week after we had finally escaped, we came back to the factory and managed to burn it to the ground. But in this memory, it was still standing strong and tall. And as spacious as it was, the walls seemed to be closing in on me. There was no escape.

I gasped when I heard the thud, thud, thud of heavy footfalls coming up to the railing. He was coming up.

It wasn’t the first time I tried to escape. My plan was to leave, find someone to help, and then come back for Theo.

I didn’t even know how I had gotten up here instead of out there, and now it was too late.

Too fucking late.

I turned around just as a large shadow fell over me.

His blue eyes glared down at me, his hands on his hips. “Didn’t I tell you not to cause trouble, boy?”

I swallowed, shaking my head, hoping words—any words—would come out and save me.

Nothing came out. I felt like I might just puke out what little lunch I had earlier in the day if I attempted to speak.

His face scrunched up in disgust.

“At this point, it might be more trouble keeping you alive.”

I blinked, trying so hard not to cry and not knowing which choice I would make had he given me one. To continue living in this hellhole, to survive day in and day out, hoping, wishing, and praying Theo and I would make it out of here, or for him to just fucking kill me and get it done and over with.

He grabbed a fistful of my hair, reeling me in close to him.

I let out a pained cry, trying to curb it as my hands reached up and tried to pry his much bigger hands off me. It was no use. It was like trying to pull out a nail that had been set in concrete with your own fingers. Fucking useless.

“Please,” I begged. It didn’t matter that begging was the last thing I wanted to do.

His hot, alcoholic breath fanned my face. He didn’t usually drink. No, he was much more controlled than that, but the asshole had been in a mood lately.

I thought I heard him mutter something about someone dying.

It was hard to believe he actually had a heart capable enough of caring for anyone, let alone trying to drown out his sorrows because they died.

Whatever the case was, he was drunk, and he was usually a mean drunk.

“I’m going to fucking punish you for this, boy.”

He shoved me near the ledge of the railing. I got a hold of the edge in time. Any later and I might have just plunged down to the factory floor.

My heart pounded in my chest as I took in the distance. The drop wouldn’t have killed me, but it would have hurt. I would have broken something, and having a broken body would have left me defenseless to all the men who came in and out of this factory on a daily basis.

I felt his hands grab at me.

I turned around and looked up into his eyes once more. Identical blue eyes to my own. To Theo’s eyes.

His hand grabbed at my pants. I struggled against him, trying to kick my legs out, hoping it would connect with something hard enough, painful enough, that he would let me go.

“No!”

“Quiet, boy. Or things are going to get worse for you.”

He pressed my legs down on the perforated metal floor, bearing his weight down until it hurt.

I closed my eyes.

I couldn’t fight him off. There just wasn’t any fucking way.

“Baby, come back to me.”

I stirred from the familiar voice coming from somewhere above me, a voice filled with light and hope.

“It’s okay. I’m here. Come back. You’re having a nightmare. Wake up.”

Soft hands caressed my face and my lips. I leaned toward it, wanting more of that light.

“Baby.”

I opened my eyes and took in the room. Lia was leaning over me, her face hovering above mine, with the light from the lamp on the bedside table casting an orange glow over her.

I blinked, taking in her angelic face.

Reaching up, I cupped her cheek. She leaned toward it, pressing her lips on the inside of my palm before placing her hand over mine, keeping me there.

“You were having a nightmare,” she said softly, concern deep in her brown eyes.

I nodded in acknowledgment and pulled her down to me, holding her close in my arms and letting her head rest on my chest. I wasn’t wearing a shirt and could feel her warm skin against mine, reminding me that this was real, that I was here with her and not trapped in the factory.

We didn’t say anything. She was probably curious about what my nightmare was about, and I was just wondering what could have brought this on because it had been a little over a year since I’d had that nightmare.

I didn’t know what it was about that specific memory that my mind chose to revisit over and over again throughout the years.

I had dreamed about other memories of my time in that hellhole, but never as frequently as this one memory. Perhaps it was because it was the first time it had happened with Leo.

Perhaps when the fucker said the word punishments to me before, it had always meant a fucking beating that would have taken days to recover from, and not… not that.

Whatever it was, I didn’t fucking know. And I didn’t know why I was having this nightmare tonight, of all nights.

Lia wrapped her hands around my waist, pulling me in closer to her as if she was afraid I might just disappear on her if she didn’t hold me tightly enough. I knew the feeling well.

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked softly.

“Not really.”

“Oh.”

She didn’t say anything to that.

I took in a deep inhale and tightened my hold around her a fraction. “It’s a dream about my dad.”

“Your dad?” She seemed surprised I had one. I smiled. Was she hoping I would tell her about my time in foster care like I had done as her stalker?

I wasn’t going to make it that easy on her. If she wanted to know the answers, she needed to come right out and ask me.

“Yeah. You know, the man who impregnated my mom.”

She lightly slapped my chest. “I know that. I’m just surprised… You never mentioned him before, that's all.”

If she was surprised over the fact that I had a shitty father who was still alive, she would be even more so to know he was actually the fucking man her dad called his best friend. The man who hired me to kill her dad.

“I don’t like talking about him. As far as I’m concerned, he’s dead to Theo and me.”

“Theo? Your brother.”

“Yeah, my brother. I’ll introduce you to him one day.”

She leaned up and kissed my neck swiftly. “I’d like that.”

I could sense her hesitation. I waited for her to ask me what she wanted to ask.

“Did he… did he hurt you growing up?”

I let out a dry laugh. “If only that were his only sin.”

She sucked in a sharp breath.

“This is upsetting you,” I said. “We shouldn’t talk about things that upset you.”

And the last thing I ever wanted to happen was for Briggs to play any role in upsetting Lia.

A ridiculous notion. Things were going to get shittier before they got better. Lia would be hurt over the fucker’s actions, and there was fuck all I could do about it. I pulled her in closer to me and pressed a kiss on the top of her head at the thought.

“That’s just silly. Lots of things in this world are upsetting to me. Are we just going to avoid it all?”

“Yes,” I answered seriously. She laughed, and I shook my head. “Tell me what these things are, and I’ll make sure they never touch you.”

She leaned back and looked at me. I let my eyes take in every feature of her face, taking in the light in her eyes that I never wanted to see diminished.

“It’s sweet that you want to do that. We both know it’s not possible.”

“I can try.”

She laughed softly.

“Hmm.”

I felt her hand move then, her palm pressing on my abs over the butterfly tattoo.

“If you ever want to talk about your dad, I’m a pretty good listener.”

“I don’t doubt it,” I answered. “Not now. I don’t think I’m ready to tell you all the messed-up shit just yet.”

“I understand,” she said, but I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I closed my eyes, wishing this shit didn’t affect me still.

But everything that had been done to me, to Theo… that stayed with you. It made me into this man Lia didn’t know—not fully, anyway—and for the first time, I questioned whether I was good for her or not.

I felt her trace along the tattoo. I grabbed her hand, halting her. “Why don’t you like butterflies?”

She stilled. “I told you, I think they’re creepy.”

“Yeah?”

She didn’t answer right away. Then, “My mom died when I was eleven. My brother and I were in the car with her when it happened. The driver’s side was hit, and she took most of the impact. She died at the scene of the accident before help could arrive. And my brother was sitting behind her, so he got most of the injuries. I was lucky.”

She didn’t sound like she thought she was lucky when she said it.

I ran my hands up and down her arms soothingly.

“I don’t remember much about that night, only that my brother was crying, and my mom wasn’t moving, and there wasn’t anything I was able to do. I was stuck in the car, and it felt like forever before help came. But there was one thing in my memory.” She moved her hand down my abs, covering the monarch butterfly tattoo. I wished I had never gotten it in the first place.

The reason why I did was fucked-up, anyway, and perhaps I would have been better off without the reminder.

“I saw a monarch butterfly. Which doesn’t really make sense now that I think about it, because it was dead in the middle of the night, and it was raining. So why did I see that?”

“Perhaps you didn’t really see a butterfly. Maybe you saw something that looked like it,” I said, having an inkling of what she might have seen that night.

“Maybe,” she conceded.

I also knew her mom’s accident wasn’t really an accident, but would Lia want that ugly truth? My thoughts went back to wanting to shield her from all the ugly shit in this world.

Or would she rather have this lie?