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15

MAEL

It took some time to convince her to let me pick her up for our date. In the end, she settled for me picking her up at a coffee shop near her apartment, as if I didn’t already know where she lived.

Any attempts to prolong our text messages in the days leading up to this first date had been cut short by her.

It was cute that she thought her keeping a little distance between us would deter me. She was going to find out soon enough that when I want something—someone—I go after them wholeheartedly.

And there was nothing and no one in this world that I wanted more than her.

I pulled up outside the coffee shop. Before I could get out of my car, she was pushing the front doors open, two coffee cups in hand. She came over to the passenger side of my car. I unlocked it for her and pushed it open, watching as she hesitated for a good long second before climbing in. Her scent instantly invaded my senses, bringing with it a feeling of contentment that I knew I would never be able to find with anyone else in this world.

She closed the door and turned to me. Dusk was slowly setting in, and there was still enough daylight for me to make her out clearly. Her long, dark brown hair was down, the ends curled slightly and settled gently over one shoulder. Her makeup was kept light, even with the red lipstick she had on, and she was wearing a knitted white sweater, black pants, and knee-high black boots.

She was fucking beautiful.

“What?” she asked when she noticed me staring.

“You’re beautiful,” I said, my voice gruff.

She looked to the side shyly before turning back to me. “Thank you. You are too.”

I let out a small chuckle, and she cleared her throat, indicating one of the coffee cups in her hand. “I got you one.”

“Thank you, baby,” I said, taking the drink from her and taking a small sip. Black Americano. Just the way I liked it.

She turned to face forward, pulling the belt over her, the cup firmly in her grasp and on her lap.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

I didn’t say anything for a beat, trying to savor as much of the moment with her as I could. She was so much more than I had imagined.

“It’s a surprise,” I said.

Her eyes lit up. “Surprise?”

I nodded, putting the car into drive and getting out of there.

“Can you give me a hint?” she asked five minutes later.

“And what would you be willing to trade for this hint?” I asked.

I could feel her peeking sideways at me. “A secret?”

I laughed before I could help it.

“What?” she asked.

I shook my head. Silly girl, what kind of secrets could she have that I didn’t already know?

“You can save your secrets for now, darling. We’ll take our time learning each other's secrets, one by one.”

“You mean I will also learn your secrets?”

“Yup. I’ll be an open book with you.”

There will be no such thing as secrets between us. I would make sure of it.

“Somehow, I don’t buy it,” she muttered.

I grabbed one of her hands and brought it up to my lips, kissing the back of it. She didn’t try to pull away. If anything, she melted into her seat, her breath catching from such a simple contact.

“Then what do you want?” she asked when I took her hand and pressed it between my hand and my thigh. She still hadn’t pulled away.

“A kiss,” I said.

“A kiss?” she asked, her voice a mere whisper.

I tightened my grip a little around her hand. “A kiss.”

“Now? But you’re driving.”

I pulled the car to a stop in front of a stoplight and turned to her expectantly. The pedestrian countdown signal had begun at twenty-five.

“Better decide quickly.”

Her mouth gaped open slightly, looking out to the street, then back at me.

“What’s it going to be?” I asked, looking at the countdown. Fifteen seconds.

She saw it too.

Just as the countdown hit ten, she unbuckled her belt and leaned toward me, her lips pressed against my cheek, close to the corner of my mouth.

Fuck.

I felt that small, innocent little move all the way down to my dick.

I turned and looked at her, but her focus was straight ahead. A car honked behind us, causing her to jump.

“Green light,” she said softly. I hit the gas pedal, driving off and not saying anything, still reeling over that one little kiss that felt like it had enough power to bring me to my knees.

Lia Whitlock was a dangerous woman.

“That hint,” she reminded me.

I smiled and pointed to the picnic basket in the back seat.

“We’re going on a picnic?” she asked with a small, bemused smile. “But don’t you think it might be a little late to go to the park?”

“Who says we’re going to the park?”

“No? Where are we going?”

I shot her a look.

She settled back into her seat. “Yeah, yeah. It’s a surprise.”

I smiled and made the short drive. Lia moved up to get a good look around when I parked the car in the parking lot. I laughed at the look she shot at me, equal parts confused and morbidly curious.

“We’re having a picnic at a crematorium?”

I laughed. “Yes.”

“Why? And are we even allowed?”

“It’s okay. My brother owns the place. And because we’re not having the picnic in the crematorium but behind it.”

I got out of the car before she could protest and walked over to her side, opening the door for her. I reached over and unbuckled her belt, letting my arm brush up against her breasts and loving the small gasp that escaped her from the contact before I straightened and held out my hand.

She hesitated. “Aren’t you afraid of ghosts?”

“You believe in ghosts?” I asked.

Fuck, but was there anything this girl did that I didn’t find cute?

“You don’t?”

“Pretty sure I’m the scariest thing here,” I answered.

And that wasn’t an exaggeration. There weren’t any ghosts around, and if there were any fuckers about messing with my time with my girl, I’d fucking end ’em.

She eyed me up and down. “You think you can take on a ghost?”

Her face was dead serious.

I smirked. “Get out of the car, kitten. Or I’ll carry you in my arms.”

She crossed her arms over her chest as if debating whether I would do it.

I made a move to lift her out of the car, and she let out a small squeak, pushing past me.

I watched as she took in her surroundings before going to the back seat and grabbing the picnic basket. I stepped over to her and held out my hand.

“Ready?”

“No,” she grumbled, but placed her hand in mine, letting me lead her up to the small hill at the back of the crematorium. She moved in closer to me as we walked through uneven patches of grass and dirt, as if to seek my protection.

I let her hang onto my arm, stopping when we reached the crest of the hill.

I placed the basket on the ground and nudged her forward, following close behind her.

“Oh my God,” she breathed out when she finally saw it. The view of the city was sprawled out before us, the light glittering in and out. We were far away enough that once the sky darkened, she would be able to see the stars in the sky.

This place looked even better beneath the setting sun.

Had I been religious, I might have convinced myself this place was modeled after God’s heaven.

But I wasn’t a religious man, and if there were such a thing as heaven, I wouldn’t even be allowed close enough to see the pearly gates.

It would be a straight shot to hell for me.

“Wow,” she whispered, her voice reminding me of the sound she made just before she came.

Fuck.

“I like coming here when I have stuff on my mind. It helps me clear my head,” I said, bending down close until my lips touched her ear and my front was pressed close to her back.

She held still.

“Do you have a lot of stuff to think about?” she asked.

“Sometimes.”

“Thank you for showing me this place.”

“Of course.” I wrapped my arms around her from behind and pulled her in closer to me. She didn’t fight me. If anything, she seemed to relax further into me.

We didn’t say anything for a moment, just stood like that and took in the view. A gush of cold air blew in our direction, bringing us out of the moment. I pulled her over to the basket, opened it, and took out the few blankets I had stuffed inside.

She watched me as I placed one on the ground before sitting down and holding my hand out for her. There was still this hesitancy in her eyes, but it was diminishing with each moment we shared. Finally, she gave me her hand and let me pull her down to my lap.

She let out a deep exhale as I grabbed the other blanket and wrapped it around us.

“Don’t you think this position is much too intimate for two people going on their first date?” she asked.

“Is it?”

“Are you this forward with all the girls you’ve dated?”

“What other girls?” I asked.

It might make me sound bad, but I didn’t date. I fucked around a lot in my late teens years and early twenties, sure, but dating? I never really thought it was for me. A byproduct of my childhood, perhaps.

“What do you mean?” she asked, sounding confused.

I tightened my arms around her. “There’s no one else but you.”

She turned and took me in. The look on her face told me she didn’t quite believe me or know what to make of my statement. She cleared her throat and looked away.

“Did you grow up here?” she asked.

“No, Boston.”

“Boston? You don't have an accent.”

“It’s been a while since I’ve been back,” I said, explaining.

“Oh. I have an uncle who grew up in Boston.”

“Yeah?”

She was talking about Leo Briggs. The fucker started all of this in Boston. So did her father, even if he had lived in New York for most of his life.

“Yeah. He has a Boston accent though.”

“Guess I’m just better at leaving my past behind.”

She looked at me. “That’s a strange thing to say. Is your past something you want to leave behind?”

“Can you ever really leave it behind?”

She shook her head. “Not really. It stays with you.”

“Sounds like you know that from experience,” I said, trying to sift through everything I knew about her history, wondering which one she was referring to.

“My little brother grew up addicted to pain pills. A bad car accident from when he was little really messed him up. He was on painkillers for most of his life. He wasn’t trying to kill himself,” she said quickly, her eyes meeting mine briefly as if she was afraid I might think badly about him. “At least, I don’t think so. The pain just got to be too much, you know?”

“You don’t have to explain it to me,” I said.

She looked down at her lap. “I know. Habit, I guess. I spent most of my life trying to explain Caden’s actions to other people. I guess it doesn’t go away just because he’s gone.”

“And you feel guilty about that?” I asked, knowing I guessed right.

“I just… I always thought there was something more I could have done.”

“There was nothing you could have done, baby. You’re not responsible for other people’s actions. You know that, don’t you?”

She shot me a small smile that didn’t reach her eyes.

I grasped her chin and turned her attention back to me.

“Listen to me. We can’t control other people’s actions. What they do is on them. And I’m sure you tried to save him. You tried your best to make sure he was okay. He made his choices. They weren’t good choices, but he was in a shitty situation, and that is just the reality of it. And that is all it is. Got me?”

“Yeah,” she said softly. “I know what you’re saying makes sense. It’s just hard to convince myself of that sometimes.”

I nodded. I could understand that. I could understand watching someone you love hurting and, as a result, hurt themselves. I even understood the guilt and the self-hatred. But I would be damned if Lia felt that as well.

She let out a small chuckle before I could say anything more. “I don’t really think this is an appropriate first-date kind of conversation.”

I smiled at her. “No? Then what is an appropriate first date conversation? Should I ask you what your favorite color is?”

She giggled, the sound like a fucking prayer to my ear.

I bent down, letting my lips run up and down the side of her face. She smiled slightly, her skin flushed.

“Mine’s black, by the way,” I said, my voice soft. “What’s yours?”

She shivered against me. I smiled.

“B-Blue.”

“Blue, huh? Favorite flower?” I pressed my lips against her cheek, so close to her lips. Fuck, but I really wanted to kiss her.

She took in a deep breath. “White— fuck —white rose.”

I suckled the skin of her neck into my mouth, taking in the taste of her. I fucking knew that already. It had been a while since I gave my girl flowers, hadn’t it?

“White roses represent innocence. Tell me, baby. Are you innocent?”

She didn’t need to answer me. One look at Lia and anyone could tell she was an innocent one. A beautiful angel sent down to drive men like me into temptation.

“Mael.”

God, my name coming from her lips was a dangerous thing. I would destroy anything, kill anyone, just for her to say my name again.

“Say my name again,” I said, bringing her skin back into my lips, using my teeth.

“Mael.”

“Such a good girl.”

“Fuck,” she said through gritted teeth when I bit her, leaving my mark.

“What do you want?” I asked.

“I-I don’t know.”

“Yes, you do. Tell me, baby.”

She licked her lips and turned to look at me through half-lidded eyes.

I watched as her throat bobbed up and down on a hard swallow. “Kiss me.”

I smiled. “Your wish is my command.”

Before she could change her mind, I brought my lips up and kissed her. The kiss was sweet. Controlled. I didn’t want to scare her by giving her too much, too soon, but there was a fucking limit. Even now, I could feel the beast inside trying to claw its way out and demand I take what was ours.

I reined in my emotions and continued to kiss her.

She hummed against me, causing a small vibration to jolt between us.

Her fingers tangled in my hair, pulling me closer. The innocent gesture ignited a fire within me, and I deepened the kiss, my tongue seeking entrance. My tongue swept over her bottom lip, taking in more of the taste of her. She opened for me like the good girl she was, and we both groaned as my tongue swiped across hers.

Fuck. This was the sweetest torture.

She pulled a little harder on my hair, causing a slight sting to form at my scalp, and I pulled her flush against me, my hands moving over her body, taking in her small, pliant form. She melted into me, soft curves molding perfectly against hard planes. The beast inside roared its approval, urging me to take more, to claim what was rightfully mine. It felt like what little control I had was being doused in gasoline, and Lia held the matches.

Fuck.

“Mael,” she moaned out, breaking the kiss. Her chest pushed up against mine as she tried to catch her breath.

I trailed my lips along her jaw, down to the sensitive spot just below her ear. She gasped, arching into me. “Tell me to stop,” I commanded desperately.

She shook slightly against me.

“Lia. Tell me to stop. I don’t think I can control myself with you. Not like this. Not here.”

“S-Stop,” she said meekly.

I pressed a hard kiss against her lips.

“Say it like you mean it. If you don’t, I’ll end up taking you here, and I don’t think you’re ready for that, are you, sweet girl?”

My words seemed to have the intended effect because she pulled back and looked at me.

We didn’t say anything for a moment, just let the silence in the air between us be filled with our harsh breathing.

Her skin was flushed, and her lips were swollen. How fucking tempting she looked right now.

“We should eat,” she said with a small smile.

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. “Right. Let’s eat.”

And that was what we did, even if food was the last thing on my mind.

* * *

I probably shouldn’t be sneaking back into her apartment like this, but like an addict, I couldn’t seem to reason with myself not to do it.

It was late. Just a few hours since I dropped her off from our first date.

We had shared another heavy make-out session in my car before she left me and drove home. I knew she had been in bed for some time now.

She should be asleep.

I moved through the quiet and dark apartment, heading straight to her bedroom. I could barely make out her small form huddled beneath her blanket.

Her breathing was even.

She was asleep.

I stood where I was and watched her for a moment, feeling a lightness in my heart that hadn’t been there before.

I moved closer to her, pulling the blanket back and getting into bed with her. I banded my arms around my girl, pulling her in closer, obsessing over every little sound she made, and still feeling like this closeness with her wasn’t enough.

Fuck, but it wasn’t enough. No matter how much distance I could eliminate between us, it still wouldn’t be enough.

She was my favorite subject. Someone I could spend two eternities studying and knowing I wouldn’t be bored.

And I wondered just how long it would take me to convince her of that.

To understand that in a world filled with monsters, no one would ever protect her as well as I could.

I could just ask her now.

After all, she was awake.