Page 55

CHAPTER 55

OLIVIA – D AY F OUR

The noise of footsteps outside the caravan seems to go on forever. What’s he doing? I pray that he’ll take the car. Give me another window to smash my way out of here. But instead there’s suddenly the sound of the main door being unlocked.

I quickly check again that the metal frying pan can’t be seen under the bed. I slip one of the forks into the pocket of my sweatpant bottoms, praying he will not see the bulge. Then I stand in the bedroom doorway so that I will be between him and Chloe.

He steps inside the caravan and leans the gun against the far wall. Seeing it again makes the echo of those two shots boom once more inside my head.

‘Where’s Amelie?’ I stare at him but he won’t look me in the eye. I stare at the caravan door, willing her to appear. Nothing. I wait some more. Still nothing. Instead, my father moves to the sink and starts to wash his hands, chanting his prayers.

‘I wash my hands in the name of the Lord. To cleanse my flesh and to cleanse my soul.’

‘I need to know where Amelie is.’ I cough. My throat parched. So long since I had a drink.

He dries his hands on the tea towel for a moment, as if considering what to say. ‘Amelie ran away,’ he says finally.

Everything inside me seems suddenly then to drain downwards. Blood in my veins. Air from my lungs. It is as if gravity is all at once in overdrive; a distorted pull on the whole of my insides. I feel giddy and have to reach out with my hand to steady myself as I sit on the bench.

‘I heard shots,’ I say. ‘Two shots.’

‘Rabbits,’ he says.

‘But you said we were fasting. Why would you—’

‘Enough questions, Olivia. You were wrong about Amelie and so was I. I thought I could save her. I thought that was why I was told to take her. But she was a very foolish and ungodly girl. She would not do as she was told. And she ran away.’

‘Was? You said was— ’

‘Enough with your questions, Olivia. You need to conserve your energy.’

‘I feel giddy.’ I don’t mean to say this out loud. But my vision is blurred.

‘Good. That’s the fast working. Purging. Like I say, you need to be sensible and conserve your energy. Go and lie down with Chloe.’

‘No.’

‘You will do as you’re told, Olivia.’

I stare at him and start to cry. But it’s pretend crying. I reach into my pocket as if looking for a tissue but instead grasp the fork and then I swing with all my might, aiming for his face. His eyes. He shouts in shock and clutches at his face first, then at me. He has hold of my right wrist so tightly that the fork pings on to the floor and he kicks it away.

He has blood on the side of his face but to my horror, it’s just from his ear. I missed his face. Only caught his ear.

‘ Why would you do that, Olivia?’ He looks not just angry but shocked. ‘When all of this is for you. To save you.’ He slaps me hard around the face so that my head is smashed against one of the kitchen cupboards.

‘What’s happening, Mummy? What’s happening?’ Chloe’s voice. It sounds so scared but also weak. As if she’s a long way away.

I think again of that time he locked me in the cellar. Gagged me. I’m terrified he’ll do that again. I feel faint, the side of my head hurting so badly.

I’m so frightened I’m going to pass out. That Chloe’s going to be all alone with him.