Page 49

CHAPTER 49

MELANIE – D AY F OUR

‘I mean it,’ Dawn says, looking around the interview room. ‘You’re wasting your time here. You should be out there, looking for that poor girl.’

‘I’ll be the judge of that.’ Melanie leans forward. ‘So go on. You were about to explain why you really threatened Matthew Hill. Said those terrible things at the inquest? And then sent those letters.’

Again Dawn turns to her solicitor, who lets out a huff of exasperation and finally nods.

‘OK. So carry on, Dawn. We don’t have all day.’ Melanie tries to keep the frustration out of her tone. Day four. Time’s ticking.

Dawn is suddenly sitting very still as if reconsidering. Melanie knows this could go either way. She dreads the possibility she’ll change her mind. Clam up.

‘I’ve never even told my husband,’ Dawn says at last, fiddling with the cuff of her blouse, pulling at a stray strand of cotton.

Melanie waits. Then stands. ‘I’ve had enough of this—’

‘Look. I caught him smoking, alright,’ Dawn says suddenly, pulling herself up straight.

‘Caught who smoking?’

‘My son Jacob. I smelt it on him. Found cigarettes in his school bag. We had a terrible row. I didn’t tell Adam because he hated smoking so much. His father died of lung cancer. It was long and slow and horrible. I knew he would lose it with Jacob if he knew he’d started. So I grounded Jacob. And I stopped his pocket money. I thought’ – she takes a deep breath – ‘that if he didn’t have any money, he wouldn’t be able to carry it on.’

Melanie feels a shift in her stomach and sits back down.

‘Anyway. A few weeks passed. Jacob was too young to get any kind of Saturday job. He tried but they all said to come back when he was older. He absolutely hated having no money at all so he started to ask me if he could earn pocket money. Wash the car. Mow the lawn. Any other jobs around the house. I said no because I knew what he wanted the money for.’ There’s a break in her voice now. ‘Like I say. I had this stupid and stubborn idea that if he didn’t have any money, he wouldn’t be able to smoke.’

Melanie suddenly begins to understand. She gets an image of the boy in the shop. Grabbing the two packets of cigarettes. Bolting. Matthew outside unaware of what was happening. And what had gone before. This . It’s like imagining it all from an aerial replay in slow motion. Dawn back at her house, pottering in the kitchen. Her son, furious with her. A split-second decision. Just being young. Not wicked. Just young.

‘Do you see now? The reason my boy – my Jacob – stole those cigarettes was because I stopped his money. He was every bit as stubborn as me. And I pushed all his buttons. Backed him into a corner. So I blamed Matthew Hill and I lost the plot at the inquest because I needed someone else to blame. My heart was completely broken and I didn’t want to face the truth. And I didn’t want to have to tell my husband the truth – that what happened wasn’t Matthew’s fault at all.’ A pause. ‘It was mine. ’

Melanie clears her throat. Alongside her Sam shuffles the papers in front of him. The solicitor shifts in his seat.

‘This doesn’t change the fact that you made serious threats against a police officer whose daughter is now missing. Threats in person and then threats in anonymous letters.’

Melanie struggles to keep her tone neutral. She must keep pushing. Be absolutely sure . But the truth is she believes Dawn. It’s a surprise and unbearably sad what she’s just heard and she can feel a change inside her – the hollow disappointment that her gut instinct was right. That this interview, this person is not to going to bring her the breakthrough she longs for.

All of the theories and the hope falling away ...

‘Don’t you get it? I could never hurt a child,’ Dawn adds. ‘I said terrible things at that inquest out of guilt and I’m sorry now that I wrote those letters. But I would never wish this life on anyone.’ She stops to fish in her pocket for a tissue to blow her nose. ‘When your Matthew Hill came storming through my front door, shouting and screaming for his daughter, you know what?’ Another pause in which Dawn at last looks straight into Melanie’s eyes. ‘I was afraid – yes. I thought he was going to hurt me. But only for a moment. Once I realised he wasn’t going to hurt me, I watched him running from room to room, banging doors and cupboards and shouting her name, I felt something I never dreamt I could feel for him.’ Another sniff.

‘I actually felt sorry for him.’