Page 51

CHAPTER 51

MATTHEW – D AY F OUR

Matthew sits in the interview room waiting for Mel.

He taps his foot on the floor very fast. He can’t breathe properly, but for some reason this makes him think of holidays in Cornwall with Amelie, water swirling over their faces as they tried to body board. He closes his eyes. That too had the sense of not breathing properly, water gushing over their faces. But back then it was funny – being dunked and tossed around in the relative safety of shallow waters. Amelie would splutter and cough and then stand up and laugh and he remembers exactly how that felt, to have her so close and so happy. This sensation, this inability to get quite enough oxygen, is completely different. The waves of unease and fear so unpleasant, rolling in over him again and again. Deep water. Choking. Drowning, not laughing.

He tries to breathe in and out more slowly, afraid that he’ll have the embarrassment of another panic attack. That Mel will see.

Mel. He dreads how she’ll be with him. And yet he doesn’t regret what he did. How can he regret trying to find his daughter? The only thing he feels sorry about is undermining Melanie. He’d imagined – stupid or arrogant, he can’t decide – that he would find Amelie in some shed or log store or the like, the ends justifying the means. That Mel’s anger would be diluted with the happy ending. That moment of ringing Sally – I’ve found her.

Now he just feels hollow. And numb. The worry over how Mel will handle this overshadowed by the deeper despair over where Amelie really is. Where the Meadows have hidden her.

Matthew checks his watch. Practises for the moment Mel enters the room. Should he look at her? Look away? Speak first? Wait?

He thinks of their younger selves. They trained together a lifetime ago. Drank together. Became coffee snobs together. Became ambitious and very serious about the job together, each respecting the other’s natural talent.

Once, just once and very early on, he made the mistake of making a pass at her. It was a moment of madness, when they were still recruits, years before the magic of meeting Sally. Long before he knew what love could truly be. Mel was mortified and so was he. Too much wine. He worried it would be the end of their friendship but thankfully it just set the terms. Mel was never interested in him in that way. And so in the end, he came to see her as a friend only. The colleague he admired above all others. The one person he could be honest with about the ups and downs and horrors of the job.

And now? I’ve blown it . The same feeling of dread that consumed him all those years ago when once, just once, he tried to kiss her.

At last the click of the door handle. Matthew looks up, wondering if a more senior officer will be with her. Overseeing. Interfering. But Mel walks into the room alone, closing the door and sitting opposite him. Two things strike him. She won’t look at him. And she has a thick file.

They sit in silence a while. Matthew has no idea what to say.

‘There’s to be an inquiry, Matthew.’ She pauses. ‘And they very nearly took me off the case. They think I gave you Dawn Meadows’ address.’

Her tone is distant, and he hates that she used his full name. ‘Mel. I didn’t mean to undermine you—’

‘Well, you did.’ At last she looks up. There is hurt in her eyes. ‘Why couldn’t you just trust me?’

‘I do trust you.’

‘No, you don’t. If you trusted me to do my best to find Amelie, you would have looked after Sally and let me look after the inquiry. Like you promised .’

He closes his eyes.

‘No. Open your eyes and look me in the face, Matthew.’ She waits and Matthew takes a long, slow breath before meeting her eyes. ‘I need to know who on the team tipped you off.’

‘Come on, Mel. You know I can’t say.’

Melanie lets out a huff of exasperation. ‘Look. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through. I just don’t want you to face charges on top of everything you’re going through. But that could happen.’

‘They want to charge me?’

‘Quite possibly. For now we’re concentrating one hundred per cent on finding Amelie. But the suits are worried about the media. If they find out what you did. If Dawn kicks off. Gives interviews. If that happens, who knows? Obstructing a police officer? Threatening behaviour? I could make a list.’

Matthew bites his bottom lip.

‘I’m doing this for Amelie. I gave up my holiday for her. And for you. Jeez. I have a son with a broken arm who I haven’t even seen—’

‘George broke his arm?’

‘Never mind.’ Melanie waves her right hand in the air as if she didn’t mean to mention the injury.

‘I’m really sorry about George. And I’m sorry about all this. But I don’t care if I’m charged. What about the Meadows? The search? Where are we at, Mel? Did they find anything? I didn’t get a chance to do a full check myself. Check the loft. The shed and so on.’

Melanie’s expression changes. He watches her eyes snap into professional mode. ‘That’s why I’m really here, Matt.’ He feels a shot of relief. Matt.

‘It’s not the Meadows.’ She meets his gaze as he takes this in. ‘Forensics are all over Adam’s car and all over both properties. I’m still waiting for the full report but the preliminary is crystal clear. There’s nothing. Amelie’s DNA is nowhere to be found. Dawn has a cast-iron alibi too. They didn’t do it. Also – the witness did not identify Adam Meadows as the man in the car park, carrying the girl. We’re working up a photofit. But it’s not Adam.’

‘But they could be very clever. Lying. Covering their tracks—’

‘I did the interview with Dawn myself and I’m telling you, it’s not her, Matt. I wish it was and we could fast-track to where we want to be. But it’s not her. And we have to let that go and focus on the other possibilities. Which is why I’m going over all your other cases again. One by one.’ She taps the file in front of her but Matthew is frowning.

Not the Meadows . He rakes his hand through his hair as the awful possibility lands. That he’s made an unforgivable mistake. One-track thinking. A determination to make the facts fit the theory, rather than following the evidence. Methodically and with an open mind. He’s remembering all those lectures at police college. The warning not to lose focus and to disappear down rabbit holes. Is that what he’s done?

‘How sure are you it’s not them?’ Matthew is checking her response closely. ‘Like I say, they could be very good liars. We’ve both seen it before. Maybe the search wasn’t thorough enough. Maybe—’

‘I’d stake my career on it, Matt. It’s not Dawn and Adam Meadows,’ she interrupts with a steely determination then pauses until he looks at her again. ‘But there is something else I need to tell you.’

‘What?’

Melanie clears her throat. Seems hesitant suddenly. ‘Dawn Meadows has admitted sending those anonymous threatening letters when you had cases in the papers.’

‘But I thought that was all checked out with her years back. That she was interviewed and it came to nothing. No evidence.’

‘That’s right. But she sent another letter more recently to me. Over the coverage of you joining my team.’

‘You didn’t tell me that—’ Matthew can’t believe this. Can’t quite take it in. ‘Why the hell didn’t you tell me?’

‘I don’t know. Turns out we’ve both made mistakes.’ She sniffs and colours, her neck turning pink. Then her face. ‘I was trying to protect you. You and Sally. But I realise now that I should have told you and I’m apologising for that. But the fact is I put the new letter to Dawn Meadows and she caved. The letters were nasty, Matthew. A crime. But they were empty words. She didn’t put anything into action. The Meadows don’t have Amelie.’

‘So will she be charged over the letters?’ Matthew is furious. He’s remembering all the nights of Sally worrying. Agonising over whether him rejoining the force would make things worse. ‘Those letters really frightened Sally.’

‘And you really frightened Dawn Meadows, storming around her house. I’m told her solicitor is looking for a deal. A caution for her in exchange for no charges against you.’

‘Seriously?’

‘That’s how it’s looking. And I have to be honest, it would work all round. Because I get the distinct feeling the inquiry into who gave you Dawn’s address will quietly go away if there’s no court case against you. It’s the optics they’re really worried about. They don’t want the leak discussed in open court.’

‘Right.’ Matthew pauses. It’s a shock to confirm Dawn sent the letters. And that Mel would keep something from him. But his bigger worry is this extra pressure Melanie’s under because of him visiting Dawn. ‘So the heat will be off you too? Over the leak?’

‘I guess so. Hope so.’

‘Well, let’s hope they do the deal.’

‘And you won’t mind Dawn not being charged over the letters?’

‘Well, it’s not ideal.’ He pauses. He thinks of Sally and has no idea how the hell he will tell her all of this. ‘But I guess if it gets the super off your back, it’s needs must.’

‘Good. But that’s for later. Right now I need you to tell me that I can trust you from here. To stop meddling and let me do my job. To find your daughter. What I need from you is to help me look over your past cases again and that’s it. That’s your sole input from here.’ She doesn’t blink. Doesn’t waiver. Holds his stare with absolute resolve. And sadness. And a question that he also needs the answer to.

‘Are we still friends, Mel?’

She tilts her head. Sighs. ‘Of course, we’re still friends.’ A pause. ‘I made a mistake too.’

He clears his throat. ‘OK. So let’s do this. Let’s go over all my cases again. What’s the latest on the search for any more car park witnesses?’

‘We’re going to do another TV appeal. I’ll lead the Q&A. And I have another difficult request on that.’ She holds his gaze.

‘You want Sally again? Oh no, no, no. Why can’t I do it? Now we know it’s not the Meadows. That seeing me won’t trigger anyone.’

‘It can’t be you because the super is a whisker away from booting me off the case. And he doesn’t want you anywhere near the team and especially anywhere near a microphone. Non-negotiable.’