Page 33 of Claiming Xan (Shifters of Greymercy #7)

RIVER

True to his word, Xan started teaching me how to drive again, but it wasn’t going great. Every time I got behind the wheel of the car, I just…freaked out. It was like a switch got flipped in my brain or something and I was unstable, afraid of wrecking us and killing my mate and our unborn child.

On a more positive note, I did land a job working as a CNC machinist, where we made parts for vehicles.

Heavy parts. It was hard labor, but I was stronger than my human coworkers, both because I was an Alpha and because I was a shifter.

The pay was good, as was the insurance—and Xan and the baby would need good insurance.

Sure, it wasn’t a job I would end up loving, but who loved working?

Xan was growing bigger and bigger with each passing week. It was hard to believe that I was going to be a father, when only a few months ago, I thought I would rot away in that laboratory.

I’d been a bit hesitant about the whole fatherhood thing despite the bump and the sweetness clinging to Xan’s skin.

I didn’t think I’d be a good dad, but my wolf was very protective of our mate, so maybe…

Maybe things would work out. Maybe I would prove myself wrong, and step up and be the Alpha Xan deserved.

The night before Xan’s ultrasound, we laid in bed together, listening to the night sounds coming through the cracked bedroom window. I stroked my fingers over the backs of Xan’s knuckles and stared up at the ceiling, trying to figure out how to put my feelings into words.

“I’m scared,” is what finally came out.

Xan rolled closer to me, concern on his cherubic face. “What do you mean?”

“I…” I swallowed the lump in my throat. “I’m worried that I won’t be a good father. I’m scared that your mother is right, that my temper will get the best of me and that one day, I’ll just snap and I’ll do something to hurt you or our baby, and?—”

Xan cut me off by placing his hand over my mouth.

“River? Be quiet,” he said gently, his dark eyes soft and warm like melted chocolate.

“You’ll be a wonderful father. You’ve been nothing but amazing to me, and when you look into that little pup’s eyes, your wolf will know it’s his.

I’m not the least bit worried, so you shouldn’t be either, okay? ”

He squeezed my hand. “I don’t care what Mom thinks. I don’t care if you are an Alpha-Omega twin. You’re still an Alpha with Alpha instincts, and Alphas protect their pups.”

“Thank you,” I whispered, leaning close to kiss him, my heart settled.

At least for the night.

At breakfast the next morning, my stomach was in knots. Xan barely touched his bacon and eggs—something he’d made special because, quote-unquote, “We both need protein for such a big day!”

“You okay?” I asked for the twentieth time on the drive over, as he squirmed restlessly in his seat. His fingers curled and squeezed around the steering wheel, and he kept biting his bottom lip, worrying it between his teeth.

“Yep,” he tittered. “Just fine.”

That was a lie. I’d never seen my mate so anxious. “Everything’s gonna be okay,” I promised him—and in a way, I was promising myself and my somersaulting stomach the same thing.

By the time we got to the medical center and parked, Xan had to pee.

“The baby’s using my bladder as a trampoline,” he grumbled, but he didn’t let my hand go until we reached the unisex bathrooms in the front lobby.

I gave his fingers a squeeze, then ushered him off.

He disappeared inside. The door swung shut behind him.

I turned and took everything in. The lobby was bright and sunshine-y, painted a pastel yellow with an ABC border.

Large zoo animal decals clung to the walls, though their edges looked frayed.

Colorful toys were stationed in one corner, blocks and chunky wood puzzles and books with their front covers missing or torn.

Kids sure were destructive. My insides jolted, as if sparked to life with an electric shock. Was I ready for this? Hell, was Xan? We were both so young. We had our whole lives ahead of us, and because of one night, we were going to have a baby.

“Hey.” I nearly jumped when Xan came up behind me. A growl escaped me before I could bite it back. Xan’s eyes widened and he raised his hands in front of him. “Easy, River. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

Immediately, I felt like a piece of shit.

“Sorry. I’m on edge,” I admitted.

He reached over and lightly patted my butt, right over the jeans pocket where my wallet was tucked away. “Well, I’m glad you’re here,” he murmured, turning those doe-eyes on me, and fuck if it didn’t melt the ice that had began to form around my heart once more. Melted it right into a puddle.

“Of course I’m here. I’m your Alpha,” I said, claiming those words for us both to hear. And Alphas didn’t abandon their Omegas—or their babies.

When we were finally called back, we went into the ultrasound room together.

I was glued to my mates side, because I could feel the tension in his soul.

I gripped Xan’s hand as he hopped up on a padded table.

I held my breath as the tech—a mousey girl in her mid-thirties—began swirling a weird-looking wand around in some blue goop on his belly.

Inside, my wolf bristled. Mine, he growled, baring his fangs. His claws dug into the recesses of my mind so hard that it physically hurt. Every time the tech touched Xan, my beast snarled, until finally, it broke free.

When her hand skimmed a bit too close, a growl tore up my throat, echoing in the small room. She gasped and nearly dropped the wand. “Oh!”

“River.” Xan grabbed my hand in his and tugged me back down to reality. “It’s okay,” he assured me, kissing my knuckles. “She’s just doing her job. Deep breaths.” To the now-visibly nervous tech, he added, “Sorry. He’s a bit touchy.”

“R-Right…” She cast a wary gaze in my direction, then began the procedure anew. After a few minutes, she let out a soft sound. “There he is.”

She pointed to the screen, to the black and white image there. I stared into the monitor, watching the barest movements, listening to the gentle whoosh-whoosh of its heartbeat.

“He?” Xan asked, his voice incredulously soft.

“Yes. A little boy,” the tech said, but I didn’t look away, not until Xan pulled me back, needing a hug. I wrapped him in my arms and squeezed and he buried his face in the side of my neck, his fingers curling into my shirt.

A son. We were having a son.

When it was all done, Xan was almost giddy.

He raced ahead, skipping out to the car like a joyful child.

Then he spun around to face me, his hands on his hips.

“You know what this calls for? A celebration! I want Mr. Frostee! C’mon, Riv, let’s go divulge in some ice-creamy goodness! We’re having a babyyy!”

I laughed. “Whatever you want, babe. You’re driving, remember?”

A wicked grin spread across his face. “Oh yeah. That’s right. You’re at my mercy.” He winked. “You gotta go with whatever I wanna do.”

“How about ice cream and a nap?” I suggested, suddenly feeling soul-tired from all the stress. He pouted, but he must not have thought it was a bad idea, because he didn’t argue.

We drove to Lake Greymercy and walked down to the little ice cream shop, with its mildly-terrifying ice cream cone mascot. His empty black eyes stared into my soul.

“River?” Xan called, wiggling his hips. “What flavor?”

I looked away from Mr. Frostee to see that Xan was already at the order counter. Damn, he really wanted ice cream, didn’t he? I jogged to catch up, but only needed to glance at the menu before answering.

“Banana walnut,” I said. The same flavor I’d gotten the first time Xan had brought me here, what seemed like a lifetime ago. In reality, it’d only been about five months. Crazy how time flew.

With our cones in hand, we sat down at the same picnic table we’d chosen the last time. He sat on one side, kicking his legs, and I sat opposite him so that I could watch him savor that chocolate ice cream. Every last drip.

Xan surprised me by looking at me, his eyes big and luminous. “I’ve always wanted a baby,” he admitted. “Me and my high school boyfriend had a pregnancy scare when we were seventeen. He was terrified, but I realized really quick that I honestly hoped I was pregnant.”

His shoulders slumped a little as he licked a line up his cone.

“I was so sad when I found out it was just overactive heat hormones. Of course, Hank broke up with me after that. Said he couldn’t risk his future, whatever that meant.

I think he knew I really wanted that baby.

He was probably afraid I’d try and trap him in a mating or something. Asshole.”

“You dated a guy named Hank?” I asked with a soft snort.

Xan rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. He was hot, though. A total jock with an unfortunate family name. For the record? River and Xan sound much better together.”

I grinned, and he continued with a dismissive wave.

“Anyway. I’ve had so much baby envy the past several years.

When Quinn had Isobel; when Nevin was pregnant for Zechariah, and now, Shay’s expecting too?

I always put on a happy face for them, but deep down, I was sad.

I wanted a baby of my own, to hold and to love.

” His voice grew soft. “More than that? I yearned for an Alpha to look at me that way.”

“What way?” I stared at him, taking in every beautiful facet this gem of a man had to offer. Every subtle curve and soft bend; every angle, every aspect. He was so damn perfect. How could he want an Alpha for so long, and no one see him for what he was worth? They were all fools.

Xan smiled, his cheeks tinting the lightest shade of pink. “That way…” he said softly, tipping his chin towards me, and suddenly, I understood. My chest swelled with emotion, with adoration for this beautiful little Omega. “I got what I wanted, just not how I expected it to come about.”

He leaned over the picnic table and kissed me. What was meant to be a quick peck turned into something a little more when I cupped the back of his neck and savored the chocolate on his lips.

“Mmm.” I chuckled. “Yummy.”

Xan’s grin turned impish. “I could say the same about you. What do you say we go home and take that nap, hmm?”

The sparkle in his eye told me that he had no intention of sleeping, whatsoever—and I loved him all the more for it.

“Sounds amazing.”