Page 22 of Claiming Xan (Shifters of Greymercy #7)

RIVER

I woke to the heavenly smell of frying bacon. So heavenly, in fact, that my stomach felt like it was gnawing itself open with how loudly it growled.

Wrapping my arms around my middle, I groaned and rolled over, nestling back into the pillows, but the gales of laughter and the sounds of kids running through the house at breakneck speed had my wolf tense and pacing.

It wasn't that I didn't like kids, I'd just never been around them.

I didn't have little siblings or cousins growing up, and Sky and I didn't really have any friends past elementary school; after I started scrapping and getting into trouble, parents didn't really want us around their kids. I was a "bad influence" apparently.

Mostly, though, I didn't want to hurt Chance and Huxley's pups by accident. Because then I truly would be a monster.

I squeezed my eyes closed at the thought of their blood on my hands and quickly shook my head. No. It wouldn't happen. I wouldn't let it. I wasn't a killer, no matter what Gracie Howell thought.

Knowing there was no chance of getting back to sleep, I got up and halfheartedly made the bed, then limped down the hall.

I peeked into the living room to see Charlotte jumping up and down on the couch cushions, her pigtails bouncing, while her brother Dresden put together some Legos at a small activity table that looked a few years too young for him.

My foot must've hit just the right floorboard, because it squeaked and both children turned to me.

"Good morning!" Dresden chirped. "Dad's in the kitchen. The bacon smells sooo good.”

I mumbled a good morning back, then quickly shuffled across the hall and into the kitchen.

Chance was standing at the stove, frying bacon in one pan and scrambling eggs in another.

His gingery hair was tousled from sleep, like he'd rolled out of bed and gotten right to work, slaving over a hot oven.

When I entered the room, he turned and smiled at me."Hey. Sleep well?"

"Yeah," I said.

"Hungry?"

I ducked my head, feeling my face burn. As if he couldn't hear the noises my stomach was making? "Very."

Chance only laughed. "Well, don't worry. I made two pounds of bacon and almost a dozen eggs—and I hope you like cheese, because I used a ton of cheddar. My kids love their eggs extra cheesy. Shifter appetites, am I right?"

Shaking his head, he returned his attention to his task, flipping the bacon before it could burn to the bottom of the pan. My stomach ached something fierce at the greasy scent of frying meat. So hungry... Would I always be so hungry?

Chance waved towards the table. "Why don't you have a seat? Huxley's outside, taking a phone call, but he'll be back in soon."

I frowned. "A phone call to who? Gracie? Reporting in on what he found?" I barked out a harsh laugh. "A stray on his property?"

A growl escaped before I could bite it back, bitterness coating my tongue like battery acid. To my surprise, Chance turned towards me, a sympathetic look on his gentle features. They made his hazel eyes seem greener, or maybe it was just the sunlight coming through the kitchen window.

"I can only imagine what's going on in your head right now, but I promise you, we're here to help," Chance said. "Huxley's going to try and make it right by you. That's the kind of Alpha he is. Please, give him a chance."

"He's not the one I'm worried about," I muttered.

Gritting my teeth, I folded my arms over the tabletop, then buried my face in them.

Everything inside of me felt like it was simultaneously burning up and drowning at the same time.

My soul was at war, screaming at the top of its lungs with every last breath.

I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear Chance cross the room. A light touch at my shoulder had me jerking up, baring flat human teeth on a low growl, but it was just the fox Omega.

He didn't flinch or pull away; he squeezed my shoulder with a reassuring smile, and even though he was in my space, it didn't feel threatening. His aura didn't feel aggressive in the least, and my wolf settled.

"Is it Gracie?" Chance asked. My growl must've been answer enough, because he sighed. "Fair enough. She really does feel awful for what she?—”

"Awful?" My back went ramrod straight, my shoulders stiffening.

I whipped my head around to face him. "Ha!

You weren't there. You didn't see the look of pure disgust in her eyes when she looked at me like I was some kind of pervert who just defiled her son.

You didn't hear the venom in her voice when she snarled at me to leave and never come back, that I was no longer welcome here.

I'm no stranger to hate, Chance. I already knew she didn't like or trust me, but the way she came unglued on me.

.." I closed my eyes and sucked in a sharp breath.

"I don't know if that can be undone. I don't know what to do. "

Once more, Chance squeezed my shoulder, then took a step back, as if he could sense I needed space. "Well, let's just take it one minute at a time, okay? Huxley is getting more information so we can move forward and bring you and Xan together again. If that's still what you want," he said.

Instantly, my wolf threw his head back and howled so loudly, it ricocheted in my mind. MINE!

I swallowed and nodded. "Yes. I need to see him. I need to know he's okay," I whispered, curling my fingers into fists atop the table.

"Okay, then let's just trust my Alpha to figure it out," Chance said, and I nodded.

It wasn't long before Huxley came through the front door and flopped down in the chair he'd occupied last night at dinner. He dropped his elbows to the table and scrubbed both hands over his face, which, to me, didn't seem like a great sign.

Anxiety nipped at my heart. I opened my mouth to ask him if everything was okay, but Charlotte came running in with a screeched out, "Daddy!" and climbed practically on top of her father.

Without missing a beat, Huxley plucked her up and placed her on her feet beside him.

"Not right now, angel," he said, tapping her lightly on the nose.

"The adults are talking pack business and it's nothing that little ears need to hear.

Why don't you go watch TV with Dresden until breakfast is ready, okay? "

"But..." She began to pout, but Huxley gave her a single stern look, and she sighed and trotted off into the other room.

Once she was gone, Chance took a seat beside his mate, placing his hand atop Huxley's much larger one. I swallowed my nerves when they both looked at me, and readied myself for the worst when Huxley said, "I spoke to Gracie."

My entire body went tense.

The other Alpha took a deep breath. "She's aware that she reacted poorly, not like a pack Alpha should act. She said that she lost her head in the heat of the moment and said things she never should have said, and that she has regrets. If that's any consolation to you."

I snorted softly. "It's not.”

"I understand." Huxley nodded. "However, she wants to try and fix things.

We spoke at length this morning about options.

I suggested that she allow you and Xan to reunite on your own terms—which means on neutral territory—and work things out together before anything else is decided.

She told me that Xan has gone no-contact and won't answer her texts or calls. He refuses to acknowledge her."

"Then how do you know where he is?" I asked with a frown.

Chance smiled. "We have connections, and Xan is still speaking with his brother. Kace is worried about Xan, too. He says he's depressed."

"Depressed?" It felt like I'd just taken a blow to the chest. Suddenly, it hurt to breathe.

Xan? Depressed? Xan was the brightest ray of sunshine in this dark world.

Had I extinguished that light? "Goddamnit.

I fucked up big time," I uttered, rubbing at my temple.

"I bit him. He probably regrets it. He?—”

Huxley growled, deep and rumbling, and I froze. My own wolf bristled with anger as my gaze snapped up to lock eyes with the other Alpha, but Huxley's golden eyes were sharp.

"Stop," he commanded. "Let's not go there, not until we get all the details, alright? Why don't you let Xan be the one to tell you how he feels, before you go putting words in his mouth."

I swallowed hard but nodded. He was right, I hated to admit, but the thought of beautiful, sunny Xan hating me hurt.

"Gracie has reserved a week in a suite for you both at a local hotel. She claims she won't bother you. We'll take you there, and then reach out to Xan and give him the address and room number. You two can work things out from there. Does that sound doable?"

I stared at him for a long time before asking, "What are the strings?"

"What?"

"There has to be strings attached," I said. "I want to know what they are before I agree to anything."

Huxley and Chance exchanged a look. "Gracie only asks that you and Xan give her a chance to apologize and speak her peace," Huxley said after a moment. "What you do from there is your own business."

I heaved a sigh and rubbed at my temple, which was beginning to throb with the strain of the situation. I would be happy if I never saw Gracie again in my life, but Xan...

I wasn't sure if it was the mating bite or what, but my soul ached to touch the Omega, to have Xan in my arms again. To hold him to me. Finally, I nodded. "Okay. When do we go?"

"After breakfast sound good?" Chance asked. "I'm not letting all this food go to waste!" He laughed and stood, clasping his hands together before calling for the kids.

They came running in and began to help their dad set the table while Chance placed the platters of food in the center. Huxley made coffee for the adults, and we sat down to eat.

Except, the food that had smelled so amazing before, sank like a lead weight to the bottom of my gut.

Xan. Xan. Xan.

I needed to see Xan. But what if he hated me?

What if he blamed me for breaking up his family?

What if I was truly and utterly alone? I forced another bite into my mouth and shoved the thoughts from my mind, chewing and swallowing a lump of eggs and toast. No.

Xan could never hate me. Not sweet, sunshine-y Xan.

Still, despite telling myself that, the drive to the hotel was stressful. Huxley walked me in and helped me check in. When everything was settled, he clapped a hand on my shoulder and looked me in the eye.

"Everything is going to work out," he said, matter-of-fact, a kind smile tilting up the corners of his mouth. "You'll see. Good luck, River."

I watched him leave. I watched him walk out of the hotel lobby and get into his truck and drive out of the lot and out of my life.

Then, with a deep breath, I looked down at the keycard in my hand and went up the elevator to the second floor. I located my suite and swiped the keycard across the panel on my door, holding my breath until the light switched over from red to green and the door unlocked.

I hesitated in the doorway, one hand gripping the doorjamb. The room was far more lavish than the hotel room that Xan and I had shared Xan's heat in, but I didn't really care about that.

Going inside, I closed and locked the door behind me and dropped the keycard onto the dresser. I gave the suite a cursory glance, then crawled onto the queen-sized bed, hugging a pillow to my chest in hopes of quelling my anxiety.

It didn't help.