Page 23 of Claiming Xan (Shifters of Greymercy #7)

XAN

I was napping on the couch when there was a knock at the door. I blinked and looked around blearily, lifting my head before remembering, oh right, this wasn't my house, so the person at the door probably wasn't for me anyway.

I dropped it back down to the pillow when Donovan paused his video game and got up to answer it.

Closing my eyes, I listened as my friend's footsteps descended and the door creaked open.

I keened my ears to the low murmur of voices in the background, trying to see if I recognized them. They sounded vaguely familiar, but...

"Hey, Xan?" Donovan called out.

"Mmm?" I hummed in reply, still not quite awake. I wanted to go back to sleep. My dreams were so much more pleasant than real life, lately. At least there, I could be happy.

He appeared at the back of the couch, looking down at me, a strange look on his face. "You've got company."

"What?" That had my eyes snapping open. I sat up straight and swung my legs over the side of the couch, rubbing at my eyes as anger sparked fresh in my heart. "I swear to god, Donovan, if it's my mom?—”

"Hey, chill. I would never do that to you," he said, sounding offended, and I immediately felt the sting of regret for saying it.

"You're right. I'm sorry. Did you tell them I'd be right there?" I asked.

"Yeah. He said he could wait." Donovan gestured at all of me, like I was a flaming hot mess. And honestly? He wasn't wrong. "Go do something with your hair at least, bro. Damn." He chuckled at that, then picked up his Xbox controller and returned to gamer-land once more.

I shuffled into the bathroom, took one look at my reflection, and grimaced. Oh god... I really was a hot mess. I even had stubble. Stubble! On my baby face!

I rifled through the cabinet drawers until I found a brush. I ran it through my hair, trying to tame the wild dark locks. "Shit..." I mumbled, pulling at the wrinkles in my PJs. Gonna have to be good enough.

I went to the front door expecting to see Nevin or my brother, and instead...

"Chance?" I asked, bewildered. Chance and Huxley Reed were sort of an unofficial part of the pack. They lived on the very outskirts of Rubydawn territory and rarely joined us for pack activities. Something about their past and just wanting to keep to themselves.

So why was he standing on Donovan's doorstep...and how did he know I was here? "What are you doing here?"

Chance offered a kind smile in return. "Sorry for interrupting your nap."

"It's fine." I waved a hand. "What's up? Are you here because of my mom? Because?—”

He held up a hand, silencing me completely when he said, "It's River.

" Everything inside of me went cold. River.

He'd been gone for over two weeks. Just gone.

God, was he dead? Had they found his body?

Tears were already welling before Chance could say another word, and then the fox was squeezing my hand.

"Hey, relax. It's okay. It's good news, I promise!"

"S-Sorry... I just..." I shook my head.

"It's perfectly okay," Chance assured me.

"Huxley and I found River on our land last night.

He isn't in very good shape. He's half-starved and wounded, but we patched him up and fed him a couple of warm meals and let him stay the night.

" He hesitated, and my heart skipped a beat.

But? There was a giant but there. I waited. "Then, yes, we called your mom."

"WHY?" I wailed. "She's the reason he's gone. She?—”

"She paid for a hotel suite for the two of you," he continued, talking over me. "She's giving you both privacy, so that you can catch up and work things out, as I'm sure there are...things you have to work out."

Chance's gaze dropped to my stomach and my gut clenched. Fuck... I was pregnant and River didn't know. What would he even say? Would he push me aside because of that? Because of his past? Would he cast me away?

"Xan?" Chance asked softly when I didn't reply. "Do you want to see River again?"

"Yes, but…”

"Then here." He handed me a slip of notebook paper. I recognized the address to a hotel here in Greymercy, along with a room number. River was really there? Chance nodded, as if he could read my thoughts. "Go to him. He's waiting for you."

My bottom lip wobbled. "Thank you…”

"You're very welcome," Chance said. "Take care, Xan. I wish you all the best." Then, with a smile, he turned around and walked down the drive, to where Huxley's truck was idling at the end of it.

Chance waved and got in the passenger seat, then the vehicle drove away with a rumble and puff of exhaust. I just stood in the open doorway, staring down at the room number written neatly on the piece of paper.

I went back inside, shellshocked. I closed the door and leaned back against it, letting my head thunk against the wood.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing, but even that seemed choppy and erratic.

River was alive. River was here. River wanted to see me—but would he, when I told him the truth?

"Xan? Hey." Donovan came up beside me. He must've abandoned his video games when I didn't immediately come back inside. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost," he murmured, concern written all over his handsome face. "Do I need to call Shay?"

"No," I mumbled. "I'll call him. It's okay."

"Xan?" He was at my side, and I was thankful, because suddenly, I felt a little dizzy. "C'mon. Let's go sit down." He guided me back to the living room and eased me down on the couch, then fetched me a small glass of OJ. "Drink this. Tell me what's going on."

"River's back. He's apparently waiting for me in a hotel room that my mother paid for...and suddenly I'm terrified to face him," I admitted, and speaking the words out loud made my soul shrivel even more.

Donovan rubbed his big hand over my back in a soothing motion.

"Aww, c'mon. You weren't scared of him when he was vicious and threatening, but you're scared of him now that you're mates?

Don't be silly, Xan. Think of it this way—River would't be there waiting for you if he didn't want to see you, right? "

"Yeah." I paused. "You're right." And knowing River, he probably hated the fact that Mom was the one who paid for it. If River had hated her before, he probably loathed her after what she'd said and done. Not that I could blame him. Right now? I kind of hated her too.

"Okay," I said finally, feeling a bit more stable. "I'm gonna take a shower then drive over. Good thing I did my laundry last night, huh?"

Donovan chuckled. "Divine intervention."

"Whatever." I huffed, flapping a hand at him. "Go play your game. I desperately need a little freshening up."

"Wondered when you were ever gonna shower. Stank ass," he joked.

"Fuck off," I replied, flipping him the bird before heading for the bathroom.

The sad thing was? He wasn't wrong. I'd never been one to neglect self-care before, but then again, I'd never been depressed before, either.

These past few weeks had felt like my entire world was caving in on me, that I was trapped with no way out, and facing the future alone felt so damn daunting that even the thought of taking a shower seemed like too much.

It still did. I knew it would be exhausting. I knew driving over to the hotel and facing River would utterly wring me out, but god, I needed to see him. I needed to make sure he was okay.

Chance said he wasn't in good shape, but what did that mean? Why was he starving? Had something happened? Had he been captured by those evil scientists again?

Every thought snowballed into the next as I shaved and scrubbed myself until my skin was pink and my hair was squeaky clean. I stepped out onto the bath mat and wrapped a towel around myself, drying off as quickly as possible.

I just wanted to go and get it over with.

To face the truth that I was afraid of, the fact that River might see me differently if he knew I was pregnant and it was his.

I didn't know how bad his trauma was; I knew Sky's ran pretty deep, from what Jem had told me, but River had always been pretty quiet about his past.

"Deep breath," I told my reflection, still half-fogged over in the mirror. "You can do this."

I dressed in something cute but comfy—soft jeggings, flip-flops and a t-shirt with capped sleeves with a sparkly mushroom on the front that said "Let It Grow."

I gathered up all my belongings from the spare room and stuffed them into my bag, then went into the living room to say goodbye to Donovan.

"Thank you so much," I told him. "For giving me a place to crash. For not judging my terrible life decisions."

Of course, he wrapped me in a huge hug, which made my emotions burble up like a babbling brook.

I had to fight tears as he squeezed me tight and said, "Of course, Xan.

You're always welcome here, you know that.

Besides, you never know when we might need a favor.

" He winked. "Babysitting duty so Shay and I can have regular date nights? "

I grinned through the sheen of tears in my vision. "Of course! I can't wait. Love you, Donovan."

"Love you too, Xanny. Don't forget to call Shay."

"I'll call him on my drive over," I promised, and I did just that. Of course, he was at work and he wasn't allowed to have his phone on the floor, so I got his voicemail. But he deserved to hear it from me, so I decided to leave him one.

"Hey, Shay. It's Xan. I know you're at work, but I wanted to let you know that something happened.

" I took a breath. "They found River. He's staying in a hotel.

I'm headed over to now to see him. Scared as fuck, because I don't know how this is gonna go, but I'll keep you posted either way.

Wish me luck. Love you, bye." I hung up, my heart hammering in my chest, because this was real.

By the time I pulled into the hotel lot and parked, my hands were shaking.

For a few minutes, I just sat in the car, my mind whirring.

I thought of River, of the nights we spent together, wrapped up in each other's bodies.

Of licking sweat and cum off River's skin as the Alpha moaned my name in such a way that made my inner-wolf whine with pleasure.

The bite mark on my neck gave a twinge, and I placed my hand over the top of it. My wolf whimpered. Mate...

I left all my stuff in the car, locking it behind me, then pocketed my keys and went inside.

Room 223. I took the elevator up, my heart skipping beats, thumping wildly as I stared at the brass number plate on the door as I came to a stop in front of it.

I knew it was the right place. I could smell River's scent lingering in the doorway, like he'd hesitated here, too.

River...

Anxious and more than a little scared, I raised my hand and knocked. I chewed on my bottom lip and waited. I heard movement. Footsteps, and then…

River stood in the doorway, looking more disheveled than I felt, like he hadn't slept in weeks.

He had dark thumbprints beneath his eyes and his face was wan, his expression tight.

For a moment, I stared at him and he stared back, and then to my shock, he let out a choked sound and lurched forwards.

I gasped as he threw his arms around me and practically crushed me to his chest.

Not the reunion I expected. Not from River.

"Hey," I breathed, stroking River's hair as the Alpha buried his face in the crook of my neck, right here in the open doorway.

"Hey, it's okay." I felt his breath whuff out warm against my skin before I gently pushed him back.

He stepped away, but he didn't let go of me, not for a second, dragging me inside with him.

I closed the door behind me and flipped the lock, then carefully pried myself out of River’s death grip. “River, baby…”

River let out a shaken breath as he finally let me go. He stepped back, string down at me, his expression filled with more emotion than I’d ever seen on his face before—and all at once, too. Fear. Hope. Sorrow. Pain.

It made me ache.

I cupped his scruffy face in my hands, stroking over his cheekbones with the pads of my thumbs. “I’m here,” I whispered, stepping into his space.

“I thought I’d lost you forever,” he choked out, his voice thick. His hands fisted at his sides as he looked down, refusing to meet my gaze. “I’m sorry, Xan. This is all my fault. If I hadn’t?—”

“No.” I closed the distance between us and pressed a kiss to River’s lips, cutting him off.

“No,” I repeated, softer. “This isn’t anyone’s fault but Mom’s for overreacting.

We’re adults. You didn’t ‘defile’ me or any of the other bullshit she said.

You spent my heat with me. Consensually.

We fucked like rabbits. Consensually. We got carried away and claimed each other… consensually.”

I smiled. River gave a soft laugh, then pulled me back to his chest. He pressed his face to my hair and breathed me in, then in a long, low growl that made tingles run down my spine, he said, “Mine.”

My heart kicked in my chest, my wolf howling with glee. “Yours…”