Page 20 of Claiming Xan (Shifters of Greymercy #7)

XAN

It’d been two weeks since Mom ran River out of the pack. Two weeks since I packed my stuff and walked out of my childhood home. Two weeks that I’d been sleeping on the uncomfy air mattress in Shay and Donovan’s craft room.

Two weeks of feeling like my life had completely blown up in my face. I wiped tears from my face and curled up on my side, hugging my pillow to my chest. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes… Wasn’t that how the saying went?

My only contact with my family had been a few days after I’d moved out. Kace had texted me, demanding to know where I was and if I was okay. I told him I was fine.

Mom is worried, Xan, he’d said, and it’d made me laugh in such a bitter way. She didn’t even have her 4 th of July party.

I don’t care, I’d replied. Let her worry. She deserves it. She deserved more than that, but I guess her youngest son cutting her out of his life was a start. Fuck her.

As the days dragged on, my soul felt heavier and heavier.

Still, I plastered on a smile for work and went in every day, banking money so I could afford an apartment, so that I wasn’t leeching off my friends.

Shay and Donovan were expecting. They had plenty on their plate.

They didn’t need me to worry about, too.

Unfortunately, I got stuck working with TJ tonight. He’d given me the cold shoulder for a long time, after seeing me and River at the mall awhile back, but it seemed that his spirits were renewed.

“What’s up, buttercup?” he asked, trying for smooth. “You seem down lately. That boyfriend of yours break your heart?”

“It’s none of your business,” I replied, my tone coming out sharper than I’d intended, giving my true feelings away.

TJ’s brows bounced up, and he leaned back on the balls of his feet. “So it’s true. You are having relationship problems. Lemme guess—he’s a cheater. Guys like him always seem to be a little sleazy.”

My head snapped up, a growl on my lips. “TJ—” But he didn’t let me finish.

Instead, he grabbed a hold of the front of my shirt and dragged me close enough that our lips were mere inches apart.

I could taste the orange zest of Tic Tacs on his breath.

My hands came up to his shoulders as I went to shove him back, but he leaned in real close.

“You know what would get your mind off your problems?” he murmured, his voice husky as he all but pinned me up against the front counter. God forbid there would be any customers in the store who might be able to help me, but it was closing time and everyone had meandered out. “Sex.”

I pushed at him. “Right. Like I’d have sex with you,” I snapped. “Let me go, TJ. Sex is the last thing on my mind.”

“Why won’t you just give me a chance?” he pressed, his brows furrowing. “I could be a better Alpha than him. Is it because I’m not a shifter? Are you racist, Xan?”

“What?” I sputtered, stunned. “No! It’s not that at all, it’s—” I gasped as his lips crushed to mine, and all I could think about was River bursting through the door and yanking the sleazebag of a human off of me and carrying me to safety.

But River was long gone…

“Stop!” I shoved him, hard, and then slapped him across the face. He jerked back, hissing at me. “This is why I don’t want to date you, you asshole! You have no manners! God! Get away from me or I’m going to scream.”

“Xan—” He reached out.

“I mean it, TJ. I’m going to scream!” I opened my mouth and drew in a deep breath, but he scowled and shoved away from me, stomping his feet. My pulse skittered in my wrists when I could finally breathe fresh air. “Don’t do that again, or I’ll tell Roger.”

“Ha. You think Roger’ll believe you over me?” He sneered. “Good luck with that. You know how he feels about Omegas. Close up the store yourself, Xan. I’m out.” With a huff of annoyance, he stormed out of The Candy Jar and down the hallway of the mall.

I didn’t feel like I could actually breathe until he was gone. Then I sank back against the counter and bit back a soft cry, covering my mouth with one hand as I fought back a slew of emotions.

God. Fucking Alphas. Things could’ve gone so south tonight. Maybe I needed to keep my mace close at work, too.

It took me twice as long to close by myself, which would earn me an earful from our boss, I was sure, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of there. At least I knew the job was done right and not half-assed like TJ would’ve done.

But the human’s words haunted my thoughts as I drove through Greymercy on the way back to Shay’s. “You know what would get your mind off your problems? Sex.”

Sex. Sex. Sex.

No. Sex was what got me into my problems. Maybe more than I could’ve imagined. My chest tight, I pulled into the lot of the drug store and went inside. It didn’t take me long to find the Early-Omega pregnancy tests.

I’d had this sinking feeling for days now… It was funny, because I’d wanted a baby for years. I was so freaking jealous during Nevin’s pregnancy, and now Shay was expecting… I had baby fever, and now?

Now I just felt sick to my stomach, because the man who might’ve knocked me up was long gone, and I didn’t even get to say goodbye.

I bought one, refusing to meet the gaze of the young Alpha who rang me up, and stuffed it into the recesses of my messenger bag. Then I went home, feeling like the world’s biggest failure.

I’d done exactly what Mom had told me not to do—I fucked around with the wrong Alpha and now I was going to be a single dad.

Which there was no shame in, but… I’d really felt something click with River.

I’d had blazing hot sex with other Alphas before, but with River it was… different, somehow. Right.

After changing into my PJs and grabbing some leftovers for dinner, I retreated to the bathroom to take the dreaded test. I knew it was super early and it could still be wrong, but I just had this feeling.

So I peed on the stick and while I waited, I found I wished I would’ve done things differently.

Stupid heat hormones…

Ten minutes later, two little blue lines told me everything I needed to know. I was more than likely pregnant. I sank down on the closed toilet seat lid and stared at the test in disbelief, my stomach sinking.

I was going to have a baby.

I should’ve been excited. Any other time, I would’ve been so thrilled. Instead, my eyes welled with tears and my throat clogged up. Damn it…

I snapped a picture of the test and sent it to Nevin with a crying face emoji: I fucked up. Bad. And River marked me, so no one’s going to want me now. My life is over!

A few minutes later, he texted back. Xan, you know that’s not true!

Why does it feel true, then? I thought maybe I found the one, then everything blew up in my face! I’m so fucking stupid. Please don’t tell Kace. I don’t want it getting back to Mom. I don’t need her I-told-you-sos.

I love you, Xanny.

I sniffled. Love you too, Nev. Give Zee a goodnight kiss from Uncle Xan.

I dropped the pregnancy test into the trash bin and covered it up with tissues, in hopes that no one would see it, then went to my room. I laid down on the air mattress and covered myself with blankets despite the mugginess in the air.

Then I buried my face in my pillow and cried.

I cried for awhile, then laid in the quiet, just breathing. Gathering myself. Okay. Enough bellyaching. Suck it up, cupcake, I told myself. The ride is only just beginning. This baby needs its daddy to be strong, and I can’t let it down.

Tomorrow, bright and early, I’d go out and start looking for an apartment for the two of us.