Page 41 of Christmas Spirits at Honeywell House (Ghosts of Rowan Vale #3)
It was late. I glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, all too aware that Jack should have been home well over an hour ago.
As I dished out the boys’ dinner, my stomach churned with nerves. What if he wasn’t coming home? What if he’d decided that he couldn’t get over my deception and he was better off without me? How would I break it to the boys?
Above me, footsteps pounded across the bedroom floor and there were shouts and shrieks of laughter.
At least they weren’t arguing. Evidently the Christmas spirit was rubbing off on them.
With only a few days left of term and Christmas looming ever closer they were bound to be excited.
I just wished I could share in their joy because the last thing I wanted was to cast a shadow over it all.
I wondered if I should bother dishing out Jack’s dinner.
I’d made his favourite steak and chips, aware that it looked like I was grovelling.
Normally I wouldn’t have spent so much money buying steak, but since we were about to have a bit of money spare and since it was nearly Christmas…
Who was I kidding? Yes, I was grovelling.
And I’d grovel for as long as it took if he’d only try to understand why I’d done what I’d done and could find it in his heart to forgive me.
The front door opened, and my heart thudded. It had to be Jack, and I was gripped with a sudden fear. I’d longed for him to come home, but now that he had I was scared stiff that I was about to hear something I didn’t want to.
He walked into the kitchen, and I kept my back to him and reached for another plate, wondering if I’d done the right thing buying him a piece of steak, or if I’d only annoy him for wasting money.
Usually, Jack wouldn’t dream of lecturing me about my spending.
He left all that up to me. Now, though, I wasn’t sure what the rules were.
Out of the corner of my eye I saw Toby jump up and trot over to see him. He was greeted with a subdued, ‘Hello. Someone’s pleased to see me, anyway.’
I rolled my eyes, wondering if he was trying to goad me. Was this how he planned to play it? Coax an argument out of me so that he could justify leaving? Well, I wouldn’t play his game.
I heaped chips on his plate, added salad and the steak and, bracing myself, I turned to face him.
‘Just in time for dinner.’
He was watching me, a sheepish look on his face.
‘I’m so sorry, love,’ he mumbled.
I didn’t know what to say because it was such an unexpected development I hadn’t imagined it in my wildest dreams. I stood there like an idiot, clutching the plate and staring at him.
‘What I said to you – I should never have spoken to you like that. What a muppet! You must hate my guts, and I wouldn’t blame you, honestly, I wouldn’t, and – is that steak?’
‘Yes, it is,’ I said, my voice coming out all croaky, to my embarrassment. ‘I nipped to the butchers over the river after – after Aubrey left.’
‘I heard he’d been to see you,’ Jack said. ‘Did it go well?’
‘Never mind that,’ I said. ‘I can tell you later. Does this mean you’ve forgiven me?’
He walked over to me and took the plate from my grasp. After placing it back on the worktop, he wrapped his arms around my waist with some difficulty and kissed me softly on the lips.
‘Can you forgive me ?’ he murmured. ‘I was out of order, and I know it. My stupid pride, I guess.’
‘But I did keep a big secret from you,’ I admitted.
‘You didn’t have much choice, did you?’ he asked. ‘I’ve been to see Lawrie and tore him off a strip about it all.’
‘You never did! Jack, he’s an old man!’
‘Oh, don’t worry about Lawrie. He can more than look after himself. Anyway, he apologised, and he said he’s going to apologise to you in person. I should think so, too. But as it happens, he also had plenty to say to me, once he found out how I’d reacted.’
‘You told him?’
‘Sort of.’ He grinned suddenly. ‘It seems he got it in the neck from Aubrey as well. Mind, he gave as good as he got there. I think Aubrey had some sort of falling out with that Agnes woman over all this business, and he’s really upset her.
Lawrie thinks he’s behaved badly and should apologise.
In fact, he told us both to grow up and make it up with our wives, and he had a point, didn’t he? ’
‘Are you really saying you can forgive me?’ I asked, cupping his face in my hands.
‘There’s nothing to forgive,’ he said with a sigh.
‘I was just scared. Things have been so rocky between us lately, what with this periwotsit, and then the baby, and all our money troubles. I’ve been worried for ages, thinking maybe you were going off me.
This isn’t the life I wanted to give you, and I’m so sorry for that.
When I realised you’d been keeping secrets about your heritage all this time, on top of not telling me about the baby and confiding in Callie instead, I suppose my insecurities just got the better of me.
I thought maybe our partnership wasn’t as strong as I’d always believed, and it scared the hell out of me.
I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you, Clara. ’
‘That will never happen,’ I told him tearfully. ‘I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else. And I promise you, Jack, I won’t keep any more secrets from you. You must believe me.’
‘I do believe you,’ he said gently. ‘Of course I do. We’ve somehow, against all the odds, stayed in love all these years, even with three boys causing havoc and all the money worries and even a surprise pregnancy.
We’re not going to risk what we have, are we?
This marriage means too much to both of us, right? ’
‘I really do love you, Jack,’ I told him tearfully.
He pulled me to him and held me tightly. ‘I love you too. So much it hurts.’
We clung together for what felt like forever, until I heard a rumbling sound and pulled away, laughing.
‘You’re hungry!’
‘Starving,’ he admitted ruefully. ‘I didn’t make any pack-up this morning, so I skipped lunch.’
‘Well,’ I said, reaching for his plate, ‘you’d better sit down and eat this steak and chips before it gets cold. It cost enough so I don’t want you wasting it.’
‘Steak!’ We looked over to the door, where the boys had gathered and were eyeing Jack’s plate hungrily.
‘Not for you, I’m afraid,’ I said. ‘I’ve made you cheeseburgers to go with your chips as a treat, but you’ve got to promise to eat the salad that goes with them.’
‘If I must,’ Ash said with a sigh.
‘ I want steak,’ Freddie told me crossly.
‘Of course you do,’ Jack said, ruffling his hair. ‘Now look, I want you all to finish every scrap of your dinner because after that we’ve got a job to do.’
‘What job?’ they asked, rushing to the table immediately as I hurried to finish adding salad to their plates, wondering what Jack wanted them to do.
I placed the plates on the table then grabbed my own dinner and sat down with them. Jack looked round at us all expectantly.
‘We have something very important to decide,’ he explained.
‘There are only a few weeks until our new baby arrives, and we haven’t even thought about a name for him or her.
So, this evening, I want you all to come up with some suggestions – serious suggestions,’ he added quickly as Freddie opened his mouth to speak.
‘Whoever chooses the boy’s name and the girl’s name we like best will win a prize. ’
‘What prize?’ asked Declan, digging his fork into his chips.
‘You’ll have to wait and see,’ he said. ‘So, come on. Get eating, and not a peep out of you!’
The boys immediately began to eat, and across the table Jack winked at me. I smiled back. He probably hadn’t got a clue what the prize was himself, but we’d cross that bridge when we came to it.
In the meantime, we’d have a peaceful meal, then a fun evening choosing baby names. As if on cue, I felt a lurching inside me as the baby shifted position, almost as if it knew something momentous in its life was going to happen tonight and was preparing itself.
I hadn’t planned this baby, and to be honest, I hadn’t wanted it at first either. But looking round the table at my little family, I knew I had so much to be thankful for, and a new baby was just another blessing.
Whatever Jack decided to give the winner of this impromptu contest, we’d already won the jackpot. We had each other. It was going to be all right.