Page 17

Lisa

T he minute the word “mate” leaves Juk’s lips, something overcomes me. I can’t explain what it is. It could be a culmination of my fear and shame boiling together, building to a pressure where it’s exploded, leaving only the attraction that has been building up between us the past few days. It could very well be the astrostingents Katie mentioned are in the air, influencing me right down to my cells.

Or it could be because Juk is right. I can’t control everything, I can’t control what will happen next, whether my crewmates are alive. Who is to say we will even survive getting to the territorial line? Or getting back to the Snowscape den—to even waking tomorrow morning?

And so, with my heart thumping heavily in my chest, with Juk’s impassioned speech echoing through my ears and whispering to my soul, I pull his face down to mine and our lips meet. Throw caution to the wind, if just for this one sweet kiss, to see what these building feelings are telling me.

The moment they meet, I see stars behind my eyes. Every one of my veins is on fire. My heart seizes, and even though it’s clear Juk has never kissed before, it’s the best damn kiss of my life. If this is how Evie felt when she first entangled herself with the alpha, then I understand. I rescind my earlier bitter thoughts about her, for the jealousy that she’s somehow found a happy ending so quickly in this shitty situation, when my own was right here in front of me.

Juk’s arms wrap around me, strong and secure. I melt into them, my fingers curling into the base of his neck. Juk is a fast learner. He matches my fervent kisses, each one sending a shiver down my spine. His tongue sweeps across the seam of my lips, the sensation causing heat to spread to my core. I think it’s an accident, as when I open my mouth and my tongue meets his, he groans and grips me tighter. I’ve seen Axyll nuzzle Evie’s cheek and sometimes give it a small lick. Their affections must reside with their wolfish behaviour, carried over into their human form.

He does not hesitate to mingle his tongue with mine. It’s incredibly cold, but refreshing. Almost like his entire mouth is a popsicle, and when we part, breathless, my own mouth tingles like I’ve just sucked on a peppermint.

Juk cradles my face, his eyes searching mine as we pant, breathless. The moonlight glimmers off the crystal in his forehead, the light aquamarine colour lost in the bright teal of his skin. His bright blue eyes bore into mine, and I want to stay here, lost in them forever. To forget all the horrible things that have happened, to let go of the fear and grief, of wondering what the future will bring, and just stay here. In this moment with him, where for the first time in nearly two weeks I feel safe.

“You... you accept me?” Juk whispers. The hope in his voice causes a fissure to crack into the wall I’ve put around myself. The longing, yearning in his eyes shines down, the hitch in his breath as he waits for me to answer. “You accept me as your mate?”

My heart pounds, the only thing audible in my ears. I place my hand over top of his as he continues to cradle my cheek, his gaze locked on mine. He drops his other hand and places it on my hip. A wisp of his white hair escapes the bun on his head, trailing in the breeze that whiffs by. It runs across his forehead, cleaving the gem in two, but he does not brush it away.

“I don’t know,” I whisper softly at last. My fingers curl around his as I turn my face away, unable to watch the flash of heartache that crosses his face before it turns neutral. His fingers are so much larger than mine, nearly twice in length. His thumb is lower on his hand, closer to his wrist. My tawny skin looks so different next to his bright colouring, but as I entwine our hands together, it feels right.

And yet, I can’t say yes. The word sticks to my tongue when I try to say it. To say yes is to give up. I can’t get that thought out of my head no matter how hard I try. The idea of accepting our situation makes me sick. My stomach twists, yet my heart aches. Every beat says yes, yes, yes , but...

Juk squeezes my hip. I look back up to his face, the heartache there gone. His eyes are serious, his Seeker glowing with a light I know is not a reflection of the moons. “When you are ready, I will be waiting. I will always wait for you, Leesa. We are mates. It is Vekao’s will. You can refuse it for as long as you need, but it is the truth. And I will be there for you until you are ready.”

Something in my heart swells. Juk smiles, my cheek still cradled in his one hand, and I place my other hand on his over my hip. Our fingers entwine, and I bury my face into his chest as he holds me close. And for now, it’s enough. My storm of emotions rumbles on, moving further in the distance, put aside for another day. A storm for another time, that I know I can weather with Juk by my side.