Page 10

Lisa

“ W e will head to your sheep to give Tabros and Hazen the language beam,” Axyll explains.

The plan has been explained again and again, with little alteration from the alpha. It makes sense for the two newcomers to get the language dump for when we find the other women. If we get separated or they’re spread across a distance, then they can communicate if we get split up. It’s a good plan, except for the part I don’t like: spending the night at the ship.

I think it’s a waste of time. Not the language part, necessarily, but spending another night there. It takes half a day’s run for the Celetans in their wolf form to get to the ship. The language transfer takes only a few moments, with little recovery time. I don’t like the idea of wasting daylight hours, but the alpha will not budge on this no matter how many times I argue against him.

So, I stay quiet as he confirms the plan again as we stand at the bottom of the ledge that houses their den. Katie nods her head next to me. She’s bundled from head to toe in furs, nestled next to me in the big sled.

Evie stands next to the alpha, her hand clasped in his. Her eyes flicker to me, waiting to see if I’ll argue against him, but I stay tight-lipped and keep my mouth shut. There’s a flash of relief across her face, and I fight to keep the annoyance off mine. I don’t understand how the urgency doesn’t eat her alive like it does me. Was she this laid-back when she was out looking for help? Did we become a second priority the moment she met Axyll?

Something moves in the corner of my eye, and my heartbeat quickens. A large, white furred wolf approaches our large sled. His blue eyes lock with mine, the third one unblinking as it fixates on me.

Juk.

Those eyes see through me, stripping me down to my soul in a way that I cannot explain. They’re the same eyes that watch me when he’s human, when I involuntarily search for his towering form among the other Celetans. Even in wolf form, they cause goosebumps to appear on my arms, and heat to stir in my loins.

Not going to happen .

Whatever this feeling is, it disappears the moment I force myself to look away.

“I’ll ride on Axyll’s back to the ship,” Evie says as she steps toward the sled. “Once we start the longer treks tomorrow, I’ll ride in the sled with you two.”

Katie nudges my side under the blankets when I don’t answer her. “Sounds good,” she responds on behalf of both of us.

Evie moves off to check the smaller sled, whose wolf is at the ready, pulley in his mouth. The wind carries the sound of Axyll’s bones snapping from around the corner, and I flinch. I roll my shoulders and adjust the blankets to cover the reaction to the sound, a flash of Chunhua coming before my eyes. But when I blink again, I notice that Juk’s eyes have narrowed on me as though my adjustment didn’t fool him.

I look away again as the giant wolf turns, and picks up the pulley of our large sled. The alpha comes around the corner, his two main eyes looking over the group while the third eye locks on Evie. She climbs onto his back, warrior-princess style again.

The ride over to the ship goes smoothly. The faint sun shines down on us, illuminating the glittering snow. Katie is quiet beside me. I can see her glancing at me now and then. I keep my eyes trained forward, trying to organize my thoughts. They’re a jumbled mess of urgency to reach the rest of my crew; of an odd, unsettling jealousy towards Evie that I don’t understand; and the always present guilt over Chunhua and Delphine’s deaths.

By the time we reach the ship, the sun is just over the peak of midday. The pack pulls up to the backside of the ship, leaving the sleds at a distance from the blue shield that acts as the door. Evie slides down from Axyll’s back, and murmurs something as she pats his head. I wonder if the gesture is demeaning to him in some way, as it’s like he’s her pet. I can’t help but glance over to Juk as the thought crosses my mind. He drops the sled’s pulley in front of him, and wanders over around to the other side of the ship, away from us.

Is his fur soft? Is it wiry and coarse? Would he mind if I patted his head or scratched him behind the ears? Would you even be able to reach his head? I wonder, thinking of how towering he is and how short I am. Would our height difference bother him?

Katie’s shifting body next to mine breaks me from the intrusive thoughts. Intrusive because I don’t want to be thinking about them. I defended Evie and her actions, yes, but now every time I notice how enamoured she is, how settled she seems to be with the pack, I shudder. My stomach flips with protest, as settling down with these aliens is not the priority there. Falling for them is not an option, not so quickly, not when the other women are waiting for us. And yet, as Katie stands to climb down from the sled, and Juk comes back around the corner, back in human form with his hair swept back up and completely naked, I can’t help but look over at him. And my heart squeezes.

“Guess their clothes don’t shift with them, eh?” Katie whispers. Her cheeks are turning bright red as another of the Celetans, Hazen, comes around from the other end of the ship, also naked. They move over to the smaller sled where they promptly pull out folded pairs of leather pants, and slip into them before turning towards us.

“Guess not,” I say. As Katie starts to climb out, I quickly grab her hand before the Celetans get to us. “We should sweep the ship one last time,” I whisper quickly, “take a final look to see if there is any equipment we can bring that might be useful to send a signal. The cargo hold might have something else compatible.”

Katie frowns. “I suppose we can look, but you know we’ve tried everything so far. Lisa, I know you don’t want to give up, that you want to send a message to Gragon 6, but the Skulchers’ tech is all junk. And I’m doubtful the cargo hold will have anything useful, and after its fall...”

“I know, I know,” I hiss back quickly. Juk and Hazen speak to each other quietly nearby, still heading over. Axyll has gone around the corner to shift, as has another wolf, but the last one stays in wolf form. “But if we can find the escape pod, I think we can get a message to Gragon 6. I think we—”

I stop as Juk stands before us. Even standing tall in the sled, already a foot off the ground, he is still taller than me. He offers me his hand to help me climb down, but I don’t take it. I push past Katie, and jump out of the sled, landing next to him. My feet sink deep into the snow. White powder clings around my calves as the snow comes up to my knees, and Juk gives me a puzzled look. Maybe I should have taken his offer of help, but it’s too late now. The entrance to the ship is close by, and I stubbornly push through the high snow as Katie takes the offered hand instead.

As I reach the doorway and start to brush the snow off my legs, Juk comes rushing over. His large hand comes down onto my shoulder for a moment, stopping me from crossing over the threshold.

“Wait. Let me ensure the star remains undisturbed,” he says. There’s a shining in his eyes I don’t understand but makes my stomach flip as he cautiously steps through the blue barrier and into the ship. A moment later he returns with a nod of his head. “It is safe to enter.”

“Of course it is,” I say as I push past him into the ship. The smell from the overflowing latrine has festered and oozes through the solid wall to my left. It’s a stark reminder of the days spent living here, waiting to see if help would arrive. It feels like a lifetime ago, when it was only two days ago. Maybe it isn’t Evie’s fault she’s moved on and content with her new situation. Maybe there is something about survival situations that make moving forward essential.

The bridge is undisturbed from how we left it. Signs of our living here are littered on the ground. A battered blanket we didn’t bother to bring because it’s falling apart, scraps of metal that were otherwise useless at the time but could maybe prove useful once we get to the cargo hold. I’ll sift through it again later.

The windshield is nearly completely covered in snow. A meek light blinks on the console, warning us that the ship’s power is low.

“I’ll start to get the language transfer up and running,” Katie says as she enters the bridge.

“I’ll need to go clear the solar panel again,” I say as I point towards the indicator. “The power is low.”

“Looks like the charge isn’t holding as well as it was,” Katie says as she sits down at the console. “I’ll see if I can fix that once it’s up and running. I think the alpha would like to have the rest of the pack eventually get the language as well.”

Not you too, Katie... thinking long term . I keep my thoughts and frown to myself. Instead, I nod and head back out into the snow. I catch the tail-end sound of bones snapping, and flinch. My eyes close, and I take a deep breath to steady the sudden quickening of my heart, and to push the mental image of Chunhua away. Will it always haunt me?

“Are you alright, Leesay?”

Axyll stands in front of me, Evie at his side. She gives me a worried look, and there is an odd shine coming off the gem in the alpha’s forehead.

I nod. “Yes, I’m fine. I need to get on the roof to clear the solar panel. The ship is low on power, and we’ll need it to charge a bit before we can do the language transfer for Hazen and...?”

“Tabros,” Axyll reminds me.

“Tabros,” I repeat.

“Let me help you,” Evie says. I shrug in agreement. It’s not a two-person job, but if it’ll help her feel useful, I won’t stand in her way.

“Is it safe?” Axyll asks, eyeing the roof of the ship warily.

“Leesa has been up there before—it is where we first met,” Juk’s deep voice states. Axyll moves to the side, and I see him there, leaning against the side of the ship. His teal skin is bright and stark against the white backdrop of the endless snow. His eyes, as always, seem to be on me. His gem shines brighter than Axyll’s, but maybe it’s just the angle of the sun.

“It’s safe enough,” I answer, tearing my gaze away from him and back to the alpha.

Axyll slowly nods his head. He then turns to Juk. “I will go hunt with Baz, then. We will have a fresh meal tonight, and smoke the rest for our travels. You stay here with Hazen and Tabros, and help the females with the ceiling spear. Hazen, Tabros, go find branches for a fire while the females fix the ceiling spear.”

“Yes, Alpha,” Juk says without skipping a beat. His eyes stay on me.

I move past the alpha and Evie, not needing to see them tongue each other goodbye. The one Celetan still in wolf form stretches his legs, and nods his enormous head at his alpha, as though he can understand him. I guess the language recognition stays the same when in wolf form.

As Axyll moves away from the ship to shift back, I start to brush snow off the metal rungs on the side of the hull. Some are crunched in from when the ship scraped into the side of the mountain. A few are ripped right off. I briefly think of the mechanic woman, Meg, who climbed outside of the ship to fix the shield. She saved all of us who were inside the bridge from flying out to our deaths or suffocating from the lack of oxygen. I can’t imagine being on the outside of the ship when Evie was flying wildly through the thick clouds, narrowly skimming against the snowy mountains.

The climb up to the roof is tricky, but I’ve done it a few times now. The bottom few rungs are the ones that are either warped or missing, and I need to go up on my tiptoes to reach the first one that is usable. The other option is to make a pile of snow to step onto the first rung, and reach better from there.

As I stretch my arms up to gage the distance between me and the first rung, a pair of large, strong hands land on my hips. Before I can even react, I’m hoisted up into the air like I weigh little more than a pillow.

“What the—”

I look over my shoulder and down into Juk’s neutral face. My heart beats rapidly in my chest, and for a moment I’m dazed. I can feel the warmth from his palms even through the fabric of my miner’s suit. The gem in his forehead shines when I look at it. It’s a pale colour against the vibrant teal of his skin.

I jerk myself up the rest of the way, tearing my gaze away from Juk. The snow is nearly up to my knees as I carefully trudge through it to the buried solar panels. From the corner of my eye, I see Juk lift Evie up the rungs as well. Out of my other corner, I see two massive white wolves take off at a jarring speed into the endless white snow.

“How are you doing?” Evie asks as she comes to my side. I know she’s not talking about clearing off the panel, which is a one-person job.

I can’t help the wave of annoyance that comes at her question. The twinge of jealousy I can’t understand and refuse to analyze. The feel of Juk’s hands still warm on my hips.

“The sooner we find the others, the better,” I say as neutrally as possible. “Then we can figure out the next steps from there.”

“I suspect Brex will be working on arrangements for the others, assigning hollows for them in the den, while we’re gone,” Evie says with a nod of her head.

I crouch into the snow next to the last working panel—praying it still works—and begin to brush off the snow. “We’re not staying here.”

The sun glints off one of the dark glass panels as I wipe the snow away. The sparkling flakes cling to my gloves, and I don’t turn to look at Evie. I can picture the look on her face, the sympathy there at my delusions that we’ll be rescued from this planet.

“Lisa...” she starts, the tone matching the picture in my head. I snap my head to look up at her over my shoulder.

“We’re going back to Gragon 6,” I say firmly. “We’ll send a message using the escape pod. Or tinker with enough of the scraps left behind that we’ll make something useable.”

Evie frowns. “I’m not going to stop you, but—”

“You think we want to stay here?” I interrupt, gesturing towards the plains of white. The purple mountains silhouette in the distance, boxing us in on all sides. “Melanie didn’t even want to step outside of the den. You think she wants to stay in rock caves, when she could be back on that luxurious moon of hers? Or Raegan? Finally free from the fighting pits, only to crash land here? This is not our end game, Evie. You may have found yourself a consolation prize and chosen to join the pack and stay, but it’s not a fate I choose to accept. Not when there’s still a chance to go home.”

The cold wind whips between us as Evie purses her lips. My heart beats steadily, the adrenaline of my thoughts powering through me. I think I glimpse the outline of a teal figure near the edge of the ship. I turn away from Evie and furiously wipe the rest of the snow off the damn panel. A light next to it starts to blink, the sun’s rays hitting it full force.

After what feels like a lifetime, Evie speaks. “This situation isn’t ideal. Don’t think because I’ve... I’ve found something here that means I don’t miss Earth. Terra. That the idea of being surrounded by snow for the rest of my life brings a smile to my face. But sometimes... I think things happen for a reason. Whether we like them to—”

“You have no idea what we’ve been through,” I spit, my anger ripping through me like venom. “You were asleep when you were taken, right? We weren’t. We were finishing a job, doing what we loved, when they came for us.”

Evie is quiet again. She looks away from me and says quietly, “Sometimes you need to weather the storm before you see the rainbow.”

Chunhua’s neck snaps and all I see is red as the words rip from my mouth. “Bull fucking shit. Don’t try to tell me that two of my crew died just so I could find happily ever after in the arms of some wolf-shifting alien, on an uncharted wasteland. There’s no rainbow here. And I’m not going to risk the lives of the others searching for one.”

Evie visibly recoils, her eyes snapping back to mine. Before she can say any more, apologize or even try to push me to see the silver lining in any of the horror that has happened here, I push past her and hastily climb back down the ladder.

Juk is there, ready to help me down with those large warm hands of his. But my own words reverberate through me, and I jump down the last few broken rungs, ignoring his outstretched helping hands.