Page 26 of Cause When You Love Someone

Ishmael

P aralyzed

“Ishmael Breezy Brown!” Durk tapped my leg. “You sure this the move you trying to make?”

My vision stayed out the window, though I raised my gun. “What does it look like?”

Church grunted from the driver’s seat. “It looks like you’re about to get yourself into some shit.”

I glanced in his direction. “You think I’m making the wrong move?”

He shook his head. “Not at all. I could never fault a man for protecting his lady. I just want to remind you, once you take a life, you can’t go back.”

Chaz may have gotten away with the foul shit when it was just him and Clarke, but when he included me in the group chat, he included me in the bullshit. He made it clear he wanted to see me, so I decided to fulfill his wish as soon as possible.

Durk sat up in his seat and put his concentration on the homes we passed. “Forrest Gump, are you sure this is the neighborhood this nigga kicks it in? I thought he was a producer.”

“It wasn’t hard to figure it out. He put his every move on social media. I know for sure he’s from Sway Gang.” I paused. “It’s not even about Clarke. It’s about respect.”

Silence crowded the truck, then seconds later, a storm of laughter took over.

“Nigga.” Loso grabbed his forehead. “I know you didn’t just say that. You sound like a?—”

“You don’t even have to say it.” I chuckled. “I already know. That’s the first thing a woman says when she’s fighting over a nigga. This is different, though. Sending me texts and threatening me was his last mistake.”

Church crept down the street until he reached the address I gave him. The home appeared rundown, but there was a pack of niggas guarding the property like it was worth millions.

Showing up in anybody’s hood unannounced was risky, but after Chaz texted my phone, I pushed logic to the side.

At first, Durk insisted on going with me, then Loso, Shiloh, and Church pledged their presence. I repeatedly declined their offers to tag along, but by the time I came out of the restroom, everyone had already mounted into Church’s truck.

Like the kings we were, we hopped out of the truck and left it running in the middle of the street. A smirk swept across my face when I realized Chaz hung with a bunch of bitches. There was never a day a pack of niggas could show up on our turf and not be met at the curb with burners.

“What’s good? Who runs shit over here?” I addressed the group while Shiloh, Durk, and Loso hung a few steps back.

A short dude with faded golds in his mouth mugged me. “Y’all came over here dressed in all black like the fucking mob. Who the fuck are y’all supposed to be?”

“I’m going to ask you again before I handle you like you’re the one I’m looking for.”

An older gentleman sitting in a wooden chair on the porch told the frontman to fall back. I impatiently waited for the old head to reach the curb before I asked about Chaz.

“What did he do this time?”

“It doesn’t matter. I heard this is his hood.”

“Not anymore. That bitch got put off a week ago for doing some weird shit. What happen? He played you?”

“He played himself. He may not be from your hood, but you know where he hangs out.”

“I don’t know how you niggas think this works, but this ain’t that.”

All eyes fell to the ground when I dropped a backpack filled with seven thousand dollars at his feet. No matter how much they wanted to press, when money was on the table, pride went out the window.

After meeting Chaz’s homeboys, Durk and I went back to the clubhouse, while everyone else went home.

When we sat down, I swore I would have one drink and be done. But I made the mistake of drinking with Durk, which tossed that plan out of the window. He didn’t have anything to do since Clover was out of town with their twins, and their baby was with his grandma.

“Aww, shit!” Durk slurred two hours into trading shots. “Your girl just walked in here.”

My heavy eyes dragged to the table he pointed to, and I flicked him off when I recognized who he was referring to.

“Fuck you, and fuck her.” I grimaced. “Why the hell does she keep popping up?”

“It looks like she’s handling business.”

I shook my head. “That doesn’t explain why she’s doing it here .”

I hadn’t seen Taylor since I’d dismissed her at Church’s birthday party, and that was months ago. Her lips hung so low when she walked away, so I never thought I would see her again.

From the bar, we watched Taylor speak to a young lady and an older gentleman for nearly twenty minutes before she shook their hands and sent them on their way. If they knew like I did, they would’ve tossed her business card in the trash the second they got out the door.

I prayed she followed her guests’ lead and left once she was done, but as soon as she had her things packed, she strutted over to us.

“Hey, you two,” she spoke in a high-pitched tone.

Durk lifted his chin toward the ceiling, whereas I just mugged her.

“Taylor, why do you keep finding your way back up here?” I quizzed.

“You don’t own the city, Ishmael.” She rolled her eyes. “My client got in town late, and most places are closed. I knew the clubhouse was open and safe.”

“Yeah. Okay.”

I sat back and listened to Durk and Taylor catch up and reminisce until he announced his Uber was outside. I wanted to shoot him for calling one without telling me, but when Essen’s number popped up, I got distracted.

“How did the dress shopping go?” I asked once I picked up the phone.

“It went . . . well. Are you still coming by to get the princess?”

“If I come over, I’m spending the night. I’ve been sitting in this bar for two hours, and my head is swimming.”

She hummed. “Okay. Yeah. That’s cool too.”

“Essen, are you sure everything is okay?”

“It will be once you get here.” She sighed. “I’ll see you soon.”

I stared at the phone like it was a strange fruit when I ended the call. I started to call her back, but I figured I could get more answers if I went to her house like she asked.

“Ishmael, I know I’m your least favorite person, but I know you hate spending a coin. I can drop you off wherever you want.”

I ignored her offer until I saw that the next Uber would take forty-eight minutes to arrive.

“Taylor, I’ll take you up on your offer, but please don’t try no weird shit. I’m not in the mood.”

I hated how excited she was when we walked to her car. She looked at me with a raised brow when I slid into the back seat, but she didn’t question me.

“This is nice,” I declared a few minutes after I gave her Essen’s address, and we got on the road.

“I appreciate that, Ishmael.” I watched her lick her lips in the rearview mirror.

“I know it may not mean anything, but I am really sorry for hurting you. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t appreciate the way you responded, but that’s not for me to judge.

You were transparent. I was holding things close to my heart.

By the time I realized the damage, karma was already at my door. ”

“It takes a thorough person to apologize, and it takes an honest one to admit some things are unforgivable. I gave you everything I had, and just like your apology, it wasn’t enough to keep us cordial. We don’t have to forgive each other. We just have to move on.”

When she turned on Essen’s block, I unfastened my seat belt. When I saw Clarke outside, I started to tell Taylor to keep going.

“Thanks for the ride, Taylor.” I dropped a fifty in her passenger seat.

I stepped out of the car, hoping she would speed off, but unfortunately, she climbed out of the driver’s seat

“Damn, Ishmael. I can’t get a hug?” Taylor opened her arms wide.

I opened my mouth to check her about being messy, but I didn’t have the chance since Clarke hurried off the porch and met us at the curb.

“Who the hell is this, Ishmael? I just got released from the hospital because of dehydration while carrying your baby, and you pull up to your best friend’s house with another bitch?”

Like someone had pressed pause on life, everything went still until I found my breath.

“What did you say?” I quizzed.

“You heard me.”

“I did, but I’m trying to pretend I didn’t. I deserve a better pregnancy announcement than this ghetto shit.”

“You may have gotten it had you not pulled up with another woman.”

“I don’t give a shit about her,” I declared. “She hasn’t mattered in years.”

Taylor snickered, then swung her door open. “I didn’t mean to start any trouble.”

“Yes, you did,” Clarke spat out. “And next time, I’m not going to spare you, bitch.”

When Tracy sped away, Clarke marched toward the house. The agonizing thought of continuing our separation triggered me to call her name.

“So you’re having my baby, and you still don’t want me? You’re still giving your loyalty to the man you love?”

Her chin crashed into her chest. “You took that the wrong way.”

“Then why didn’t you correct yourself?”

“Because you still wouldn’t have understood where I was coming from.

You still would have fought me for putting you first.” She blinked back tears that I wanted to catch just so nothing that came from her went to waste.

“I love you, Ishmael. I can’t stand back and watch you crash out over me.

We have a baby to raise together. That’s the only person we go to war for. ”

Though I couldn’t agree with her, I pulled Clarke’s face into my chest and shut my eyes when the scent of her hair got trapped in my nose. “I missed you. I missed you so fucking much.”

“I’m sorry I hurt you, Ishmael. I have been sick without you, and I did it to myself,” she cried. “Next time, I’ll be ready to ride instead of standing in the way. I know you got me. I just want to prove I got you.”

With everything going on in my life, adding school into the equation was risky, but still I walked into the university’s front office with my head held high.

Chaz was still in hiding, so I put my attention on shit that mattered.

“How are you, ma’am?”

A small, white woman sat behind the receptionist's counter. She peered up, then did a double take.

“Oh. My day is better now. How can I help you?”