Page 24 of Cause When You Love Someone

As the realization of the news sank into my consciousness, my skin flooded with goosebumps. Air rose up in my throat, but there was a knot blocking its path. I was lying down, yet the room spun, causing my head to fall into a dizzy spell.

“Clarke. Clarke, look at me. Breathe through whatever you’re feeling right now.”

The sensation of a hand wrapped around my ankle welcomed me back into reality.

“This can’t happen. Not right now.”

“Clarke, you have options. You don’t have to decide anything today. The only thing you need to accept is that you’re pregnant.”

“It’s not that I don’t want my baby,” I clarified. “I just want my man too.”

No matter how much advice Dr. Stewart offered, it was hard to see the beauty in my situation. Ishmael was sick of my shit. He didn’t want anything to do with me, and the thought of being pregnant by a man who didn’t want me made me as nauseated as morning sickness.

A knock at the door sent my focus to the opposite side of the room.

“That’s probably my mom. I know she’s having a fit out there. God. I hope she doesn’t tell anyone,” I rambled. “Can you tell me how far along I am? I mean, I know you can . . . I’m ready.”

“Of course. Do you want to call your family back inside?”

“No. It’s just me. I want to be alone.”

Two weeks later

I strutted through the park with a few castmates behind me, security leading the way, and fans surrounding us. Since my doctor’s visit, I hadn’t accepted any booking that wasn’t already on the calendar, but I couldn’t say no to the community event.

“The hood niggas are out and looking lovely!” Junie grabbed her knees and popped her ass. “Mrs. Rose, you don’t like a roughneck every now and then?”

“Hell no!” My mom sharpened the corner of her upper lip. “I hate being around hood rats, and this isn’t the type of place to find a man.”

I tugged on my mom’s arm, guiding her a few paces ahead of the pack.

“Mom, most of the people who sponsored the event are here. There’s nothing wrong with having a relationship with the community. Please don’t say anything crazy.”

“I don’t want to hear that. Just look out for guns. You’re carrying my next meal ticket.”

“You say things like that with so much pride,” I replied sarcastically.

“Not at all. You’re having a baby, and you don’t have a husband. There’s nothing to be proud of.”

I repaid her snarky comment with a toothless smile.

“You had a common law marriage with my dad; that doesn’t count. And, I’m happy you feel that way about my baby. That means you should have no reason to share your disappointment with a soul.”

I knew it was pointless to try and sway her pompous attitude, so I walked off and left her to walk with Sage, Junie, and Bhila.

“C. Rose! Can I have an autograph? A picture, too!”

I grinned at the cutie with two-strand twists. She didn’t look any older than eleven—too young to watch my content. Still, I posed for the selfie and signed the pair of jazz shoes she inched in my direction.

“I’m so happy you came to the competition. Are you dancing today?”

“Not today, but hopefully soon.” I winked before giving her a hug, then walking off to the judges’ table.

As my vision panned across the field, I slipped my hands in the pockets of my denim shorts.

I had been keeping a low profile, but it felt good to see all the brown faces in the park.

The place was known to house criminals and drug dealers, yet people forgot about the kids and mothers occupying the space.

Though my mom initially declined the request to be part of the function, I followed up and confirmed my attendance.

My decision was authentic, but it was also my way of establishing my presence in a community I wanted to be a part of.

The talent show was an annual event hosted by a Silk Hills basketball player. The team logo being on the flyer was always enough to bring out motorcycle clubs and churchgoers.

Before I could make it to my seat, Derrick Chambers approached me. The giant was so tall, even my new guard had to look up to confirm who he was.

Surrounded by an audience, Derrick pulled me into his chest and squeezed me tight. Out of kindness, I returned the gesture before stepping back and sliding my hands in my back pockets.

“Clarke Rose.”

“Derrick Chambers. It’s good to see you.”

He licked his big, pink lips before saying, “Oh, trust me. The feeling is mutual. I haven’t seen your pretty ass since we hosted Club 28 together.”

“That’s right. I remember you had the girls going crazy.”

“Maybe.” He shrugged. “All I recall is asking you for your number, and you curved me.”

“I had to be a good girl. I had a man.”

“ Had ?” He massaged his full beard. “I like the sound of that. I may have a chance to take you out after all.”

My belly became a sinking stone at the idea of dating someone else.

“How about you escort me to my seat? We can talk about everything else once the show is over.”

“I’m a patient man. I can work with that.”

I hooked my arm around his and followed his steps. Even with stacks of diamond chains around his neck, Derrick mobbed through the park like he dared someone to touch him. When I thought about it, his demeanor reminded me of the kind man I had pushed away.

“How long have you been hosting this event?” I asked to reroute my thoughts.

“This is the seventh year. Truthfully, I got the idea from a kingpin from a hood on the East Coast.”

“Really? He used to host Pop-Lock contests?”

Derrick dropped a laugh into his fist. “Something like that. Aside from the festival and talent show, I host a Thanksgiving and Christmas giveaway every year.”

“Goodness. That’s a beautiful way to give back. Anything you have coming up, count me in.”

“I’m going to hold you to that.”

Once we reached the judges' section, Derrick took a moment to introduce me to everyone at the table. We exchanged a few pleasantries, and by the time the small talk had worn dry, a thick lady dressed in a denim jumpsuit walked across the stage. She introduced each judge, then started the show.

The first performer came to the stage carrying a saxophone. He was an older man but two-stepped to the mic.

“Mr. Henry, we always look forward to seeing you.” Laura smiled. “What song will you be playing for us?”

“You know better than that, baby. Just step back and catch the groove.”

Mr. Henry started his performance, and about a minute in, the audience began singing along to his rendition of “Ribbon in the Sky.” Smooth and experienced, he floated across the platform, playing his instrument like it was an extension of his existence.

Though he delivered an even tempo melody, Mr. Henry’s act seemed to loosen everyone up. By the time Laura returned to the stage, I relaxed in my chair and stopped drumming my fingers against the table.

“Our next group is a community dance team straight out of Silk Hills.”

Oh shit!

“The girls range from ages six to sixteen, and they study everything from ballet to majorette dance. Put y’all hands together for YND!”

Unable to settle down, I twisted around in my seat and searched the audience. Regardless of our short time together, I remembered Ishmael’s sister mentioning her dance team.

Between squinted eyes, I scanned the crowd until my gaze landed on a row of memorable faces.

Like a photographer in the company of her muse, I gagged over Ishmael’s side profile.

His lips were oiled, and the sunlight sparkled against his brown complexion.

Dressed down, Ishmael traded in his business wear for a Supreme graphic tee and denim shorts.

A pair of buffs I had never seen outlined his eyes, and his diamond Eshu chain sat on his chest. His leer held tight to the stage, but his best friend stared a hole into me.

When she moved to alert Ishmael of my presence, I shook my head before giving her my back.

Fuck!

We hadn’t spoken in three weeks, though I knew we needed to have a conversation.

Ishmael swore I had some type of allegiance to Chaz, when the truth was, I wanted to keep him safe.

Ishmael already went to jail behind my shit.

Deep down, I believed separation was the only way I could ensure that didn’t happen.

As expected, YND’s performance was amazing. Their transitions from majorette to jazz were beautiful, and when they stepped like a sorority, the crowd got hyped. I don’t know if my mind was playing tricks on me, but I could’ve sworn I heard Ishmael’s voice calling my name.

Another six performers, ranging from a magician to a praise dancer, hit the stage before we submitted our score cards.

While I waited for the winners to be called, I decided to upload a few photos to my Instagram story.

As soon as I opened the app, my screen was flooded with notifications.

The images of me and Derrick’s embrace had already hit the internet.

“All right, everybody. We have a winner.” Laura’s spunky tone captured my attention. “First, I want to thank everyone who participated. You did an amazing job, and for being brave enough to get up here, Nike is hooking you up with a swag bag.”

I wasn’t surprised when she read the top three winners, and of course, Isabella’s team snagged first place.

Though I was ready to go once the trophies were handed out, Jerry and his crew announced they needed to get extra footage around the park.

I joined my mom, Sage, and the ladies, but when Isabella waved in my direction, I knew I couldn’t leave without speaking.

“I’ll be right back.”

“No, you won’t. There isn’t anything for you to talk to them about.” She pointed to my stomach. “You have a family with Chaz that you need to worry about. You need to get out of your feelings. You and Chaz can be cashing in on endorsements.”

“My pregnancy and my baby are not for sale.”

She waved me off. “Only because you don’t know how much they’re worth. That’s all right. That’s what your mama is here for.”

I may have been wrong for not telling my mom about the paternity of my baby, but I didn’t trust her with that information.

I thought it was obvious Superman and I were hunching.

However, her sly remarks proved otherwise.

Sadly, I believed she enjoyed the idea since Chaz would let her have her way, and Ishmael wasn’t going for it.

Regardless of my mom’s warning, I strolled over to Essen and Izzy near the stage. Ishmael was nowhere in sight, making me fearful that he would pop up at any moment.

“Hey, beautiful!” I greeted the talented teenager. “You and your team did a fabulous job, Isabella.”

She pressed her chin against her chest while twisting from side to side. “Thank you. You were a bomb dancer, so that means a lot coming from you. I even made Ish convert his garage into a dance area since I moved in.”

I went still. “Oh. You live with your brother now?”

“Yeah. I moved in last week,” she answered. “Are you dating Derrick Chambers?”

I snickered. “No. Where did you get that idea?”

“The internet. I saw my brother looking at a post on Instagram before he shooed me away.”

“Isabella, I’m not dating anyone,” I replied, hoping she would go back and share the message with her brother.

Essen looked me up and down as she grabbed her hips. “I’m happy you came over here. I thought you were going to leave without speaking to me.”

“Of course not,” I lied. “I just finished taking pictures with the kids. How are you?”

“I’m good. You’re glowing.”

A nervous laugh slipped through my lips. “Girl. It’s the sun.”

“Yeah. Okay,” she replied, her voice laced with doubt. “I see you’re filming again. You got the girls out here twerking to get on camera.”

“Little do they know, it’s not always as good as it’s cracked up to be,” I declared in a faraway tone. “I’m about to head to another location to film. I just wanted to come over and say hi. I’m happy I ran into you guys.”

Essen pulled me in for a hug. “It was good to see you, Clarke. Don’t be a stranger.”

Proud that I made it through the conversation without asking about Ishmael, I freed an uneasy breath as I walked away. I made it a few feet away from the parking lot before Chaz’s voice stopped me in my tracks.

“You have got to be fucking kidding me,” I grumbled. “Go home, Roger! There is no reason for you to be here or speak to me. The only reason I haven’t put your ass in jail is because of your babies. I refused to be the reason you can’t provide for them.”

A distant look narrowed his eyes. “You keep saying there’s nothing to talk about, but according to the text I got from your mom this morning, we got a lot to talk about. I thought her weird ass was being messy, but then I read the article.”

My head jerked back. “What are you talking about?”

He waved his phone in my direction, and I snatched it from his grasp. My eyes raced across the screen, soaking in every word of my business being on the internet. The article was written in a cutesy way, but the details could only come from one of two people.

“This is a lie. This is wrong. We are not having a baby!”

Chaz’s sly grin morphed into a flat line. “We aren’t, but you are?”

“That’s not what I said,” I answered in a rush.

His long fingers reached for my hair, but I side-stepped his affection.

“If you touch me again, you’re going to jail or hell. It all depends on how I feel that day.”

“After finding out you’re having my baby, I’m willing to take the charge or time with the devil.”

In the midst of the argument, a few girls walked by and offered us congratulations.

Chaz beamed at the idea of being attached to me, whereas I got the urge to puke at the thought.

It was bad enough that Derrick hugged me tight enough to start a rumor.

Now, Chaz was under the impression we were going to be a family.

Giving the nuisance my back, I spun around and stomped off to the parking lot. When I approached Rock, I could tell by his expression that he was ready to deliver an affirmation.

“Not right now, Rock. I don’t want to hear it,” I snapped. “Do me a favor and call my mom a car. She can’t be trusted. Her and her big mouth ass can’t ride with me anymore!”