Page 19 of Cause When You Love Someone

Clarke

W hy

For a week, I acted like a runaway held up in a nice hotel in downtown Silk Hills as if I didn’t have a home to go to.

But this day, I rode the elevator up to Bell’s rooftop restaurant with newfound confidence.

After the drama at the club, the distance from the spotlight allowed me to realign my thoughts.

I vowed to be done with Chaz, but he wasn’t the only thorn in my side.

When I stepped off the elevator, a camera crew and the backdrop of the city fell into view.

The scene looked like an upscale cafe in the sky, but I knew from experience that most of the patrons were paid extras.

They made a few hundred dollars and got a free meal.

I didn’t blame them for accepting tickets to the circus.

A few steps away from the table, I smoothed my hands down my spaghetti-strap Pucci dress. Fresh out of a seat at City Glam, I walked on set ready to film.

“C. Rose!” a cameraman cheered.

Everyone who was paid to be there smiled at my arrival. On the other hand, my mom mugged me from a table in the center of the scene. I ignored her menacing gaze and hugged Sage tightly. Simone got the same dismissive energy I gave my mom.

“Oh my God! Look at my baby!” Sage squealed as he fluffed my new short hair. “You look so good! Who gave you this fabulous cut?”

“No!” My mom yelled, prompting cameras to go up. “The real question is, why the hell would you let someone cut your hair? You know how many years I worked to get your hair to that length. You’re tipping the scale at one-sixty-five, and now, you’re baldheaded!”

I shrugged, brushing her insults off my shoulders.

“I’ll be twenty-seven in a few months. I needed a fresh start.”

“The style makes you look old!”

“That’s not the worst thing in the world. If you remembered that, you wouldn’t have to take so many trips to the Dominican Republic.”

She didn’t have the chance to spew a hateful comeback since a producer I worked with on Hotties of the West Coast walked over and ushered me away from the table.

“C. Rose, it’s good to see you.” Jerry embraced me like we were old friends. “I know tensions are already high, but I want to go over some show notes. Things can go off the rails, and I want to ensure we get what we need.”

“Okay. I’m listening.”

“I want to start with making note of what’s off limits.”

I thought to tell him I didn’t want to talk about Chaz, but I wasn’t ignorant. I knew most of my views would come from people who wanted to hear what I had to say about our breakup.

Jerry and I spent twenty minutes off to the side before I rejoined the table.

While the team ordered appetizers and drinks to be brought to our table, I decided to check in with Ishmael. To my surprise, I already had two messages from him.

Superman: Dark or Light?

My brows crowded in the center of my forehead when I asked for more context.

Superman: I can’t say.

I followed up and asked for a dick picture to ease my now anxious mind.

Superman: You are freaked out. I love that shit.

“Clarke. Get off the damn phone.” My mom raged. “You walk in here with a bald head and a smile like things are all good.”

“I have new hair. I see you have a new ring and bracelet. I guess we’ve both been busy.”

She straightened her hand and admired her new pieces. “I thought I would treat myself instead of slipping into depression since my brat ran away. Where is Ishmael?”

Unsure of how to respond, I broke the fourth wall and peered into the lens when the cameraman focused on me. Ishmael and I didn’t have a label or title, and I wasn’t ready to share him with the world. I knew part of the reason I had been living in a fairytale was for that very reason.

“Hello? Clarke! Are you going to answer my question?”

“I gave him the day off.”

“Excuse me! Who gave you the right to do that?”

“The right ? He works for me. You work for me.”

“I don’t want to hear that shit. He should have been here, just like he should’ve been on your ass when you disappeared for a week.”

I curled a piece of hair behind my ear as flashes of our times together played in my head. “How do you know he wasn’t?”

Sage’s hand sprang up to his lips. “Oop!”

“You can shut your mouth, Sage,” my mom spat out. “This has nothing to do with you.”

“Stop talking to him like that! Sage isn’t your assistant, and from now on, he’s not available to you. You need an assistant, hire one.”

“Wow,” she muttered. “You get a new haircut and some new dick, and you forget who runs the show?”

“Actually, a real man spoke life into me, and I remembered my power.” My vision switched to Jerry. “What’s next?”

The producer fumbled with a few pages in his notebook. “Let’s move into the Chaz segment.”

“That man doesn’t get a whole segment; he gets a few sentences. The relationship is over.”

Simone freed a gentle puff of a laugh. “We’ve heard that before.”

“See!” My mom slammed her palm on the nicely decorated table. “Even your best friend knows it. You and that boy love to break up to make up.”

I started to correct her on Simone’s position in my life, but I thought it was more important to set the record straight about Chaz.

“This time is different. I’ve dealt with too much to put up with more. The people around me will treat me right, or they’ll be cut the fuck off.”

By the end of my rant, my gaze landed on Simone.

“I don’t know why you’re staring at me. I haven’t done shit wrong.”

The love I had for Simone kept me from pointing out where she fucked up.

“Simone, we can have this conversation in private.”

“No the hell y’all won’t.” Mama Bear chimed in. “This is good for TV.”

“Okay, I’ll go first,” Simone started. “You’re pissed at me when I’ve been a good friend to you. I’ve defended you when people talked shit. I’ve wiped your tears anytime you got in your feelings. Don’t get me started on how I had to accept being your sidekick.”

“I’ve never treated you like a sidekick.

I put you on a pedestal. When I treated myself, I treated you.

” I scoffed. “Even when you ruined your reputation by being a thief, I let you use my credibility to walk in rooms people dream of. You want to talk about accountability? Just like I chose to stay with Chaz, you chose to ride my coattails.”

“Clarke, please. I put you first because your sensitive ass needed a friend like me.”

“Simone, you have a big mouth, but I have strong hands. I never needed you to protect me. Trust me, I hold my tongue because I know the damage words can do. I experience it every day!”

“Oh, this is good,” I heard someone say in the distance.

“Simone, you can say what you want, but what you did was foul. You moved like a hater, and it makes me wonder if you ever slept with Chaz.”

Simone scooted her chair back and jumped to her feet. “Yeah. You’ve lost your mind. I’m out of here.”

Once Simone stomped out of sight, Jerry redirected the conversation. Along with my mom, Sage and I discussed my reasons for leaving Hotties of the West Coast, then we talked about a few brand deals I had in the works.

By the end of filming, the tension was still thick, but my shoulders felt lighter.

I started toward the elevator with Sage at my side, but I excused myself when I saw Jerry in a corner smoking a cigarette.

“Whew! Today was a full day. I know the network is going to love it.”

“I hope so.” I checked my surroundings. “Can I talk to you for a minute?”

“Of course, beautiful. What’s going on?”

“Well . . . I know the show is supposed to highlight the drama in my life, but what if I wanted to take things in a different direction?”

His brows knitted together. “Different direction?”

“Yeah. I’ve considered getting back into dance, and I want the show to document the journey—along with everything else, of course.”

I explained my plans to train and then open a dance studio. I already owned a space I inherited from my father and had never figured out what to do with it.

“Look at you! You sound like a producer.” He grinned. “Have you spoken to your mom about this?”

“I have not.”

The pale man massaged his non-existent beard as he bobbed his head up and down. “I like it. The network may give some pushback, but once they find out your mom doesn’t know about your plans, that will be enough to give the green light.”

Ishmael and I hadn’t made things official, but that didn’t stop him from arranging date night at least once a week for the last three weeks.

On any other occasion, I would have hired a team to help me get ready for a black-tie event.

But, since I gave up my hotel hideout, I had a thirst for proving my independence to myself.

My bob needed maintenance, so I slicked it back like Mystique from X-Men .

Makeup wasn’t my forte, but I knew enough to make my face as pretty as the diamonds I planned to wear.

In between completing my look, I sipped on a glass of Don Julio and cranberry juice. Love songs played throughout my beauty room, but when the music shuffled to “Girl” by Destiny’s Child, so did my thoughts.

Simone and I hadn’t spoken in weeks. Based on the amount of finger-pointing she did, there was a chance we could go years without exchanging words.

I wasn’t above forgiving my friend for crossing the line—I had forgiven Chaz plenty of times.

Still, Simone wasn’t asking for forgiveness since she didn’t think she did anything wrong.

That was where she lost me. In the last text she sent, she called me out for being hugged up with Ishmael so soon after cutting ties with Chaz.

Even though my actions crossed my mind, I was a grown ass woman.

A single woman. If I wanted to pop my kitty for a protective, fine, intelligent big dawg, that was what I was going to do.

“Hell, I’m ready to do it again.” I giggled to myself as I put on a pair of diamond drop earrings. The jewelry and the three-foot train attached to my black gown were over-the-top, but I lived for a good statement piece.