Page 11 of Cartel Viper (The Cartel Brotherhood #2)

Chapter Six

Maddy

Oh. My. God.

First, it was that kiss. My stomach’s still in knots, and my pussy aches like crazy.

It’s taking all my resolve not to look at his dick while I wonder what it would feel like to have it inside me.

I spent hours wondering that in high school and the first couple years of college.

I’ve been wondering it for the past week.

Now, I don’t think I’ll ever stop wondering it.

Second, it’s knowing he was and is interested in me too. Shut the fucking front door. I thought he looked at me like a kid sister, and that’s why he insisted upon watching out for me. Like a silent favor to Pablo and his family.

Third, I want what he’s talking about. What he could offer. But what if I’m so fucking broken I don’t know how to be a proper girlfriend anymore? What if I’m too weak now to be a partner to a man like Javi?

Fourth, Drew.

But, God, how I want what he’s offering. I just want to say yes.

“Maddy, I’m sorry. All I’ve done is push too hard since last night.”

“What? No! I’m thinking not retreating. Your family might be all right with me, but you weren’t wrong about Maks’s. Being anywhere near me puts you in even more danger with all of them than I can guess you already live with.”

Not to mention what Drew would do if he ever found out. He’s in the syndicate pee wee league compared to Javier. But that wouldn’t stop him. The man is not right in the head.

I should tell Javi the truth. All of it.

Come clean and even let him help me. Some of it is pride.

I don’t want to admit how weak I’ve been.

There’s so much shit I did that I’m not proud of just to keep the peace with Drew.

Some of it is fear one of them will explode.

Javi and Drew are both powder kegs, and there are way too many fuses around them.

I don’t want any harm to come to Javi. It’s part of the reason I didn’t want him to know anything about what’s going on.

I don’t want to be the reason for something bad happening.

“ Chiquita , give me two days to end things with her. Let me be truly available to you. Then think about what you do or don’t want. I’ll wait.”

“I’ve thought about it nonstop. I told you that. But there’s so much standing in our way. Our families won’t approve.”

“Your family won’t.”

What more can I do but nod? It’s true.

“You also don’t want to tell me the truth. If you agreed to be with me, you know you’d have to. You know I wouldn’t settle for any less, and your conscience wouldn’t let you keep it from me. Whatever happened, you don’t trust me enough to tell me. You don’t know me well enough as I am now.”

“Javi, I think I trust you pretty fucking implicitly to be sitting in a car in a nearly deserted park with you.”

“That’s not what I mean, and you know it. You know I won’t physically harm you. You know I won’t kidnap you. You can imagine a sliver of what I would do to protect you from either of those things.”

A sliver?

I know he’s in the Cartel. I know what that means.

I did before I met Drew, and I have a better fucking clue now.

But I also know Javi and his brothers saw shit while growing up in Bogotá that they never should have.

Not as adults and certainly not as young children.

I probably can only imagine a sliver of what he’s capable of.

Thinking about Drew doing those sorts of things used to make me want to retch. It disgusted me and tormented me. With Javi, it reassures me. What kind of sick fuck does that make me?

One who can rationalize why it’s fine for Javi to be a torturing criminal and still want to curl into his arms while I wanted to slash Drew’s throat once I found out.

He cups my face, and I meet his gaze. His eyes might be the shade of milk chocolate, but I’m the one who wants to melt into a puddle when he looks at me like he is now.

“I’m gun shy, and I admit it, Javi. But there’s no one else who can tempt me to try again. End things with your sub, and I’ll give us a chance. I can’t promise what’ll come of that.”

“That’s all I’m asking for. Keep your secrets, Maddy.

I won’t demand again. Lord knows I have secrets I can never tell you.

I’ll lie to you, little one. I’ll omit the truth.

I’ll do whatever and say whatever I have to, to protect you and the people we love.

It’s hypocritical to hold you to a different standard than I hold myself. ”

I’m keeping my secrets to protect you and the people we love too .

“I understand why there’s a different standard. I’ve known what your family is since I was a kid. I know the family my sister married into. I don’t know all the ins and outs, but I know enough.”

“Promise me something, though. Promise you’ll call me the moment you feel unsafe. Don’t brush it off. Tell me. If we’re going to be anything to each other, then I won’t be your shadow. I won’t hound you. But I’ll only agree to that if you swear to tell me if you get scared.”

“I promise, Javi.”

I cup his cheek and stretch over the center console to kiss him.

His right hand rests at the side of my neck, but his left hand is reaching around for something.

His seat slides back, breaking our kiss.

Then his hands are on my waist, and he’s lifting me onto his lap.

The steering wheel digs into my lower back, but I’m straddling him like I ached to do.

We’re kissing again, and his hands guide my hips to move.

I grind my pussy against his cock, and holy fuck. There’s nothing little about this man.

When I’m moving in a rhythm he likes and is driving me crazy, his hands slide down to my ass.

He grips it, and it reminds me how bony it is now.

I used to like my ass back when I had one.

But from the way he intensifies the kiss and how hard he’s squeezing, I think he likes what I have.

He reclines the seat, and I fall forward.

It gives his hand room to draw back and spank me.

Over and over.

“Ow! Javi, ow! That fucking hurts.”

“I know. It should.”

“I thought we agreed I could keep my secrets. Are you punishing me for that?”

“No. I’m setting a precedence for you to understand what’ll happen if you keep anything from me that could pose a threat to your safety.”

He’s not gentle about this. My ass burns. But he stops as abruptly as he started. When he wraps his hand around my throat this time, he squeezes. Not enough to scare me or make it hard to breathe. But it’s possessive as fuck.

I love it.

I hated it when Drew would do it. It wasn’t kinky breath play. It was to make me think he would kill me until I realized he wouldn’t. He couldn’t afford to do more than knock me around.

I feel safe while Javi does this.

“I’m going to say this a third time, and I’m going to keep saying it whenever I want. You are my chiquita .”

I wait for him to say more, but he doesn’t. He’s laid his claim, and I don’t object. I have no idea what this will be like between us, but I love this dominant side. It makes me feel all the things he said I deserved to feel. Safe. Protected. Appreciated. Desired.

“I will take care of things with her today. One way or another, she won’t be my sub by dinner. She might be my tenant, but that’s it. I haven’t touched her in nearly three months, Maddy, and I won’t ever again. You are mine, and I am yours for as long as you want this.”

“Me?”

“I told you I’ll wait. That means I’m not walking away unless you tell me to. Even then, it won’t be without a fight.”

“After today, does that mean you’re mine?”

“Absolutely.”

“What does this mean, though? Like what will this look like?”

“I don’t know. It depends on what you’re ready for. I don’t want to be just your fuck buddy, but if sex is all you want?—”

“It’s not. I just don’t know how much of that I can offer, and I don’t know how much nonsexual stuff I can offer, either. I just don’t know.”

“We move slowly. When we reach your boundary, we talk about it. I will never force my way past it unless it’s?—”

“About my safety. I know.” I grin. “You sound like an old man the way you whittle. Maybe I should call you?—”

Something in his gaze changes, and my heart races.

Daddy and Papí are what we’re both thinking.

He rescued me earlier by changing the subject, but he just keeps looking at me.

His left hand slides down the back of my jeans until we’re skin to skin since I’m wearing a thong.

I press into his right hand, increasing the resistance against my throat as I lean farther forward.

“Daddy.”

If he practically devoured me before, I don’t know how to describe this.

His hand slides down from my throat to my tits.

He’s careful, uncertain where else I might be bruised.

I don’t mean to, but I can’t help it when I shy away ever so slightly.

Immediately, his hands grab the hem of my shirt and lift.

“You will let me see, Maddy. All bets are off. I’ll take it all back if you fight me on this.”

I close my eyes and lift my arms as he pulls my shirt over my head.

He tosses my top on the passenger seats.

His fingertips graze over my back, just enough pressure to make me wince when he gets to my kidney.

He sits up and twists to see around me. I know the bruises are yellow.

They’re in their final stage of healing.

I suck in a breath as his hand trails up my right ribs.

He lifts my hands over my head, placing them on the head rest behind him.

I keep my eyes closed through all of this. I don’t want to see his expression while he examines me. Because I’m not watching, and he’s so gentle, I’m unprepared to feel his lips wrap around my nipple or for his tongue to toy with it. I didn’t even notice him move my bra cups.

“Javi.”

“Mmm.”