Page 34 of Carnival

Rose

M y mind is a storm of emotions. Except for the small squeal that leaves my mouth at the sudden way James picks me up in his arms, I’m silent. My heart is hammering against my ribcage while he’s carrying me out of the filthy basement.

He’s so close. He’s holding me tightly against his body, staring right ahead.

His heart rate spikes up, mirroring mine, and I don’t know how to act.

A part of me is still terrified of this man, of everything that he is and what he represents, yet the other side that has yearned to have him so close for the past two years is too excited to have him back.

The scent I’ve missed for so long has now filled my senses, and I already smell just like him. My fist curls on his shirt, gripping it tightly, and I can’t move my eyes off the side of his face — well, the mask.

Once we’re outside of the abandoned, very run-down warehouse, James lets me down on my feet gently, and I momentarily forget how to walk. Then, neither of us speaks. We’re just two people, standing almost too close to one another, staring into each other’s eyes without saying a word.

He’s looking at me, the dull, blank expression flickering with something I cannot quite name. He steps forward, his chest almost touching mine, and I have to tilt my chin upward to meet his gaze.

“Hellion,’’ he murmurs, the deep, gravelly voice sending chills all over my body. My heart skips a beat at the nickname. I hate that he has the mask on; I hate that I can’t see his face or touch it, for that matter.

All of that goes to show just how contradictory I’m being.

At one moment, I’m terrified of him and want nothing more than to run away.

Then, he gets this close to me, and all I can feel and smell is the dark smell of his perfume, with something that is uniquely him, and all of that flies out of the window.

I’m aware that I’ll never escape him, but right now, as I’m staring into those dark brown eyes that only seem to shimmer for me, I make the decision that will either make or break me.

I’m not letting him off the hook for lying. I’m not going to magically forget he kept a crucial part of my past, the reason I had a memory gap, and that he willingly hid it all away from me. But I’m also not letting him go.

“James,’’ I breathe out, finally finding the strength to speak.

He steps closer, and I lift my chin up defiantly. His brows narrow at the action, his left eye twitching a little. “This isn’t the time to be acting like a little brat.’’

His words don’t make me falter. If anything, it makes me keep the defiant act up, and I want him to get so pissed, so annoyed, that he’ll chase. And if I’ve learned anything, it’s that he loves a good game of cat and mouse. I’m starting to like it, too.

“You refused to see me,’’ I jab a finger into his chest. “After so pathetically revealing a part of my past that I was barely able to pull through. And you’re calling me a brat? No, I’m not a brat. I’m just fucking angry, James.’’

“Jab your fucking finger at me once more, and I swear, hellion, I will—’’

“You will what?” I cut him off, my voice low and sharp. “You’ll tell me something else I didn’t know about myself? Because, clearly, you seem to know more about me than I do. So, yeah, I’ll jab my finger at you as much as I’d like, and you’ll fucking take it in stride.’’

Anger, mixed with what seems to be suppressed desire, flicks in his eyes, and a low growl follows. The wind howls around us, my hair sent flying back. Goosebumps are all over my forearms, but it’s not because of the cold night — it’s because of him.

“Rosalie,’’ he warns, but I’m not done yet.

“Don’t Rosalie me,’’ I snap. “You knew of my deepest vulnerability, and you used it against me. You used it to push me away. Then, for two years, two whole fucking years, you refused to see me. No matter how many fantastic attorneys I’ve hired to get you out, how much money I’ve spent, how much I bribed guards, cops, and anyone who’d take bribery to see you in that fucking cell, even for a minute — you refused it all.

You left me all alone. All. Fucking. Alone.

At one of the darkest times in my life. You left me to deal with the revelation of killing Willow myself.

You led me to believe that it was my fault for your sentence.

Tell me, James, after so much betrayal, why should I ever let you near me again? ”

“Because I’m not giving you a choice, hellion,’’ he takes my finger off his chest, then circles his fingers around my wrist. It’s not a painful grip, just a solid one, to let me know he isn’t planning on letting go anytime soon.

“I did everything I thought was right to protect you. I pushed you away so you could be as distant from me as possible, because if Vivian had even sniffed you bribing your way to see me, she would’ve killed you.

And I wouldn’t have been able to protect you. ’’

A harsh, bitter laugh reverberates around me, the sound managing to surprise me. I didn’t know I had it in me to sound so dull, soulless, and angry. James falters, eyes widening a fraction.

“You speak of protection as if it’s something I’ve asked of you,’’ I grit out.

“And now, when I’m finally starting to feel better about it all, when I’m finding ways to cope and understand what exactly happened in my childhood, you suddenly want back in?

You know what, James? I think you should’ve stayed in prison. It’s where you fucking belong.’’

The words slip off my tongue before I can stop them. Yet again, I’m speaking before I can think, and the guilt immediately starts gnawing at me on the inside. However, the pride won’t let me apologize, not when I am yet to hear an apology from him. So, I hold eye contact, waiting for his reaction.

Against everything I thought I knew about this man, he manages to surprise me. I expected an outburst, perhaps a screaming match, and him getting angry beyond belief. But he doesn’t scream or yell. He doesn’t even flinch at the words.

Instead, he laughs.

A full-blown laugh. Deep, alluring, and sinister.

His eyes crinkle at the corners, as if I’d just told him the world’s greatest joke imaginable.

I’ve forgotten what his laughter sounded like, and now that I’m hearing it again, it sends a wave of unease down my body, and I take a small, deliberate step backward.

“Oh, my sweet Rose,’’ he hums, clearly amused.

The sight of his bloody mask and the shirt that’s no longer white, painted in the blood that’s slowly starting to dry, is terrifying, straight out of a horror movie.

“You really think your little words can sway me? I don’t care whether or not you want me by your side.

I genuinely don’t. I’m here regardless of what you want. ’’

“What?” I step back, only for him to take another step forward.

“Run, hellion. The moment I catch you, I’ll cage you until it’s forever engraved in your soul who you belong to.’’

The words ring and echo in my ears, and I don’t have the luxury of figuring out whether he’s joking or not.

Instead, I turn on my heel and immediately sprint away from him.

The abandoned warehouse is — of-fucking-course — located in the woods, and I’m not exactly the one to know how to find my way through the woods.

It reminds me of the night when he came to the house Aria and I were renting in New Orleans. He’s chasing me the same way he was chasing me back then, and yet again, he proves that I cannot escape.

My feet drag me away from him, branches snapping under the weight of my shoes. The fear is replaced by pure adrenaline, and I can’t help but wonder if that makes me just as fucked up as James?

Maybe I’ve always been like this, and he was the one who brought it out of me.

A small smile is on my lips, my hair all over the place.

It’s messy and tangled from the wind, but I don’t care.

The deeper into the woods I get, the more excited I am.

Everything from the past two years resurfaces — all the anger toward James, all the longing, all the unanswered questions.

But right now, all that matters is seeing how far he’ll take the game.

His footsteps follow behind me, but even without turning back, I can tell he’s not putting all his strength into the pursuit. He’s playing with me, letting me think I have an advantage, all while he’s preparing to pounce on me when I least expect it.

After a while of running, I slowly come to a halt. I try to catch my breath, turning to look behind me. A frown appears on my face because all I see is utter and complete darkness. Not a sight of James, not even so much as a trail of his footsteps in the mud behind me.

Where the hell is he?

I turn back around, and the most gut-wrenching scream comes from my lips.

James is standing right in front of me, his mask a mere inch away from my face. I can tell he’s fucking excited, and I hate myself for not sensing him in time. Then again, he’s always been swift on his feet, and it shouldn’t surprise me that he managed to sneak behind me.

I don’t get to react past the scream, because he wraps his hand around my throat and slams me against the nearby tree. He gets too close to my face, but the mask remains on. The grip on my throat isn’t painful, but I wouldn’t be able to get out of it even if I wanted to.

My eyes flick down to his arms, the way the veins popped up, his muscles flexing, and the mere sight causes heat to pool between my legs. I squeeze my thighs together, trying to prevent the whore in me from appearing, but James notices it.

If I could see his face, I’d bet he’s smirking at me.

“Caught you, hellion,’’ he murmurs, his free hand traveling down to my hip. He holds it tightly, caging me between the tree and his body. “And I always keep my promises. Don’t worry, I’ll get you the prettiest cage.’’