Page 18 of Carnival

“Rosalie,’’ he greets me curtly, and that’s somehow worse than his yelling. “My study, now.’’

He’s not asking me — he’s commanding me and leaves no room for argument.

I look between Arlo and Aria, silently begging for help.

Arlo just smirks, shrugs, and walks away, while Aria is pretending to text someone.

And I know that she’s pretending because she was bitching and moaning during the car ride that her phone had died.

Hudson stalks off, expecting that I’d follow.

Silently, I walk behind him, keeping some distance between us. The silence stretches between us, and the walk to his study seems eternal. I keep stealing glances at him, but he doesn’t turn around to acknowledge it, even though I know he can feel me staring at his back.

He enters his study, leaving the door wide open for me, and takes a seat behind his desk. I step inside, close the door, and awkwardly stand there for a few moments. It’s been a while since I came in here, because this room isn’t just for anyone to come in.

Only Noelle has access to it. Once, Aria entered it just to satisfy her curiosity.

She was banned from entering it ever again, and I did press for information, only for her to tell me that there weren’t any hidden weapons or useful information in the study.

So, I’m confused why no one’s allowed in and by the fact that I’m here currently.

Hudson pulls open one of his drawers and whisks out a bottle of old whiskey and a glass. He pours the whiskey into the glass, then lights a cigarette, then leans back and simply stares at me for a moment.

“Sit,’’ he orders, and I obey like a mindless doll.

The leather armchair is cold as I sit, shivers spreading through my body.

I don’t know if it’s the sudden cold I’m feeling or the fact that I’m scared of the direction this conversation will go.

Hudson wouldn’t hurt me; I don’t doubt that for a second.

But James? He’s dead if I so much as say something Hudson doesn’t like.

“You know, Rosalie,’’ Hudson starts speaking, taking a drag of the cigarette.

He exhales the nicotine, a gray cloud forming in front of his face before it spreads out until it disappears entirely.

“When you first came into the picture, and Aria brought you home… Noelle was the first person to suggest adopting you. Right off the bat, with no additional information about you. She just saw you and thought you’d complete our family, while gaining the one you never had. ’’

Oh, God. I’m fucked.

Whenever Hudson starts reminiscing about the old times — stories I’ve been unfortunate to hear many times — it means that he is beyond angry.

Yet, by looking at him, I can barely tell.

His shoulders are tense, but the way he is casually sipping on his whiskey and smoking isn’t a clear tell of his anger.

He’s a master of controlling his emotions, and I’ve seen it a lot of times. It’s admirable, really.

“But at the time, we couldn’t adopt you, not without risking you getting hurt.’’

My mind drifts back to those times. I learned later on that at the time, they were at war with some other family, and having them legally adopt me was out of the question. It would put me under the other family’s radar, and their names would be in the systems.

“So, Noelle made a deal with your foster parents and a few people at the agency. You’d officially still be fostered by the family, and Noelle would send them money each month from her bank account, and you’d be staying with us.

Unofficially, you’re our child, Rosalie.

We love you. We care about you, and we’ve done everything we possibly could to ensure you felt the love and the care and to have everything you might need and more.

So, tell me, why was risking your life by going to a deadly carnival worth it? ”

I take a deep breath, hands trembling on my lap.

I hang my head down in pure shame, and it starts overwhelming me, because Hudson is right.

When I had no one, I had them. When I felt unloved, they proved their love, and they taught me to know that I am worthy.

It wasn’t until now that it started hitting me how terribly wrong this entire thing could’ve gone.

“I’m sorry,’’ I lift my head and look at Hudson. “I’m sorry for acting stupidly, and I’m sorry for worrying you.’’

He sighs, then takes another sip of the whiskey. “This isn’t about us worrying. Yes, we did worry, but you could’ve died. We could’ve lost you. Why, in God’s name, did you go there?”

“To find information you weren’t willing to find.’’

“And did you?”

I bite the inside of my cheek. “No.’’

“Did you stop, even for a moment, to think that we might’ve had a good reason for not telling you?”

“You need to stop treating me like a child.’’

“I will, once you stop acting like one.’’ He takes a drag of his cigarette, then looks up at the ceiling. “While you were away… Noelle did some digging on the organization that owns the carnival. Let’s just say that you’re lucky as fuck that you came out unscathed.’’

My eyes snap to his. “Wait, does that mean they’re in the same line of work as you?”

“More or less,’’ Hudson puts out the cigarette in the ashtray, then leans forward, elbows on the hard, oak wood desk, his chin resting on his fingers. “The organization is directly tied to your biological parents’ death.’’

My heart sinks even further. Aria had suspected it, of course, and tried getting as much information from the people of New Orleans, but still, there was a seed of doubt planted in my mind. Why in the world would someone kill two rich kids?

Oh.

Now that I think about it, it’s not hard to imagine why.

“Aria connected the dots even before she had any solid proof,’’ I sigh.

A look of pure pride is on his face. “She did? That’s my girl.’’

I roll my eyes.

“How ready are you to hear the truth, Rose?”

I take a deep breath, clutching my hands into fists on my lap. I nod my head, straighten my back, and hold the intense eye contact. “As ready as I’ll ever be.’’

“Austin and Kiersten were terrible people,’’ he starts off. “Even from their teen days, they were bullies that never faced the consequences of their actions because their parents always paid off everything, bribing people left and right. And they were directly involved with the… organization.’’

I blink, taken aback. “What?”

Hudson nods. “Noelle’s still looking for the person in charge, but your parents were heavily involved.

Mainly, they did operate in New Orleans, but over the years, they did spread throughout the country and eventually all across the continent.

Their mask is the carnival, and their targets are carefully selected. ’’

“Yes, they only kill the rich, right?”

“Yes, but their reason isn’t as simple as just taking out rich people. Whoever person in charge is, they have a deeper motive.’’

My brows narrow. “If they’ve spread across the continent, and you’re rich, does that mean you’d likely become a target?”

Hudson scoffs, as if I’d asked the most ridiculous question. “Please, say you’re joking. Those amateurs wouldn’t be able to get within a breathing distance from me, let alone have one of their little clowns butcher me.’’

His pride is unmatched, as well as his arrogance. A small smirk tugs on the corner of my lips, and I can’t help but poke the bear.

“If they’re such amateurs, how come you haven’t gotten rid of them yet?”

Well, that wipes the smirk right off his face.

He straightens up, fixes his suit, and clears his throat.

“Because thus far, they have not been a direct threat. And since we didn’t find the connection between your parents and the organization, we didn’t waste time on them.

We have more pressing matters to attend to in our own city than chase down a carnival. ’’

I sigh, nodding. As terrible as it sounds, the De Santis family is still a criminal organization, and they won’t risk exposing themselves easily.

“So… if my parents were tied to the organization, why did the same organization kill them?”

“That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?” He chuckles. “I highly doubt they had a change of heart and simply wanted out; hence, they were killed to ensure their silence. If that was the case, then it’s better off that they’re dead.’’

“Why?” A small frown tugs on my lips.

“Just because they had a change of heart all of a sudden doesn’t erase everything they’ve done.

They did terrible things to innocent people, and no matter how much they’ve come to regret it, they can’t undo it or erase the pain and suffering they’ve caused.

Honestly, them wanting out was just pure cowardice.

There’s no out in this life. Once you’re in, you’re in until you die. ’’

Hudson’s words hit me like a fatal blow. He is right. No matter how much you come to regret actions of your past, the pain inflicted never disappears. And no matter what, in this world, especially in this lifestyle, you can’t simply start regretting it and leave.

I don’t remember my birth parents at all.

I was too young to remember them or the accident they were in, yet hearing how terrible they’ve acted hurts me.

I’m ashamed that those were the people who brought me into this world, and although it’s not my fault any of it happened, the guilt is there.

No wonder no one wanted to take me in — they saw me as Satan’s spawn.

I swallow a knot that formed in my throat and try to regain my composure, not wanting Hudson to see me falter. I clear my throat and straighten up in my seat, the leather slightly squeaking beneath me.

“So…was it truly a drunken driver who killed them?”

“That’s what the official reports say. It’s not difficult for an organization of that size and power to send an innocent man to prison, so I highly doubt a mere car accident killed them. Or, someone else drove the truck, purposefully colliding with your parents.’’

“Can we find the man in prison and talk to him?”

Hudson shakes his head. “He died a few years back in prison. A fight broke out, and he was one of the casualties.’’

“So, no one alive can tell us what happened that night. That’s just fantastic,’’ I groan, leaning back.

“Now, Rosalie…’’

I wince as I hear my full name slip from his lips, and I look back at him, the stern and serious expression on his face. He finishes the glass of whiskey, pours another one, and stares me down, waiting for a crack.

“Yes?”

“You’re going to tell me everything, and I do mean everything that happened at the carnival. Two years ago and now. You have two minutes. Go.’’

I take a deep breath, realizing there’s no way out of this.

I carefully tell him the story of Aria taking me to see the carnival for the first time, and instead of telling him how James absolutely rearranged my insides, I make up the PG-13 version of the events.

He’s a smart man; he’ll figure it out, and I doubt the details of my sex life are important for this scenario.

Once I told him everything that happened two years ago, I continued with the tale of what went down now.

Of course, I repeated at least twenty times that James didn’t hurt me, nor did anything I didn’t want to.

He didn’t interrupt me while I was speaking, only nodded a few times, silently telling me he was listening.

I conclude the story with how Arlo knocked James out when he found me, and after that it’s silent.

It’s been silent for the past ten minutes, with Hudson carefully absorbing the information and trying his best not to snap.

I can tell which parts of the story irritated him beyond belief, and I’m not sure whether or not to be relieved that he chose not to comment on them.

“And… at what point did you think any of this was a good idea, Rose?” He asks, tone exasperated. The man is tired of my bullshit, and I don’t blame him.

“At no point,’’ I clarify. “I knew from the get-go that this was a terrible idea.’’

He blinks. “And you went through it?”

I nod.

“Fucking hell,’’ he groans, slumping into his chair.

“So… let me get this straight. James Maddox was, at some point, your foster brother, and he knows what happened and why you have a memory gap, and he refuses to tell you. And he is also a part of the criminal organization that killed your parents, and he personally killed a lot of people as well.’’

“That’s pretty much it.’’

“You being personally involved is… terrible. I don’t know whether those from the organization sent him for you since you have a previous connection to him or if it was a coincidence. And I don’t believe in those.’’

“Is... is he alive?” I whisper.

“For now,’’ he responds, and a flutter of hope spreads in my chest. “But you are aware of how I operate. I will need to question him thoroughly before I even think of letting him roam freely. If his organization has caught a sniff of him being held hostage by the De Santis’, it’s a shit show waiting to happen. ’’

“But… you won’t kill him?”

“Not without a reason, no.’’

I release a deep sigh of relief, some of the tension leaving my body.

“Make no mistake, Rose, the safety of my wife, children, and our legacy is the most important thing to me. If he compromises any of those… then…’’

I swallow, looking away as he leaves the words to hang in the air. He doesn’t need to finish his sentence; I already know what it means. If James is deemed a threat, he’ll be disposed of soon, and there’s nothing I can do to stop it.

However, I already got attached.

All I can do is pray that James leaves that basement alive.