Page 18 of By Rude Strength

“Yeah, I’d broken my wrist trying to catch a cot.” LA snorted. “It had a person on it and the wheels weren’t locked. Instinct kicked in and I tried to grab it. Cracked the head of my radius and had to wear a cast and then a splint. But during all of that, they still let me work! I had to get people to help me move the bodies or whatever, but I could still embalm.”

“A broken wrist is a bit different than a busted spine,” Cass said carefully. “After all, one has a certain time for healing and the other… Not so much.”

LA flinched. “I’m going to get better.”

“Do you know that for sure?”

“I…” LA’s head swam and he sagged into the couch, cradling the bottle against his chest. “I don’t know. I was doing really well. I was doing all the physical therapy, taking all the stupid drugs, and they made me take this stupid test to see how much I could safely lift. I gave it everything I had. The proctor had to keep stopping me from pushing too hard and I thought it was enough. I thought I was good.”

“And it wasn’t?” Cass ventured.

“No. I didn’t make it into theheavylifting category.” LA took a sip of rum and winced. “I might never embalm again, so all that effort feels fucking pointless now. Who the fuck is gonna hire an embalmer who can’t even move a body?”

“I’m sure there’s still a lot you can do with that kind of experience!” Cass smiled, ever cheerful. “Why not see if you can supervise embalming somewhere? Or perhaps teach? Oh, I bet you’d be a great teacher—”

“No,” LA said immediately. “I’m not teaching. That’s what my mother always wanted for me and I don’t want it.”

“Even if it was something you wanted to teach?”

“No teaching.”

“Okay, grumpy pants.”

LA sighed and let himself lean over to bump against Cass’s arm. “I did like teaching some of the apprentices that came through, but I never had one of my own. I did do some exam proctoring for the state, for people trying to get their license for embalming. It was fun, but…”

“But?” Cass gently lifted his arm to wrap it around LA’s shoulders.

“But it’s not what I want. It’s not for me. One person? Sure. But a whole class?” LA tensed for a moment, but he slowly melted into the embrace. It did feel good to be held and maybe he did need a hug after everything that had happened today. “I don’t know what I want now.”

“And that’s okay,” Cass said gently. “That’s a huge question to figure out. Careers should be fulfilling, yes, but you also have bills to pay.”

“Isn’t that the truth.” LA closed his eyes. “What about you?”

“Me?” Cass sounded surprised.

“Is helping people recover their strength really what you wanted to do with your life?”

“It’s what my people do. There are imps of fortitude and strength like me, those of wisdom and intelligence…” Cass hesitated. “We live to help inspire mortals.”

“What if you didn’t want to do that?”

“I suppose I could do something else.” Cass rubbed LA’s arm and laughed. “Though I have no idea what. I do enjoy this, you know. Helping people.”

“That’s why I liked my job,” LA said quietly. “I helped people. During what’s usually the worst fucking time in their lives, I got to be there and help them through it.”

Cass purred. “My job is much the same. I don’t exactly get to meet people when they’re at their best.”

“Yeah. Same.” LA peeked up at Cass, getting lost in his bright eyes for a moment. “Has there…”

“What?”

“Has there ever been anyone you couldn’t help?”

“A few,” Cass said quietly.

“What happened? You told me you stick around until the job is done, right?”

“Unless it’s truly hopeless.” Cass sighed. “It takes a lot to be absolutely lost, but there have been those that I couldn’t save. They were so set on their path of self-destruction that there was nothing I could do. Even my power isn’t always enough.”