Page 78 of Burning Ember

As it all starts to sink it, I grate out, “Lita said you were the only one she saw exit the bathroom after that.”

“Well, then she didn’t see the girl come out as I went in, did she? The one who was wiping her goddamn nose!” More blood leaks down her neck and onto the white sheet below her. “Get off me!”

I study her. She was asleep before I came in. Something she wouldn’t be if she was high on coke. “Why were you nervous then? Why throw the game and leave? Why were you in the bathroom so long?”

“Because I was cleaning! And I thought you’d kick me out for hustling and stealing their money!”

My shoulders sag. Slowly I pull the knife away from her throat.

“You aren’t high?”

“No,” she whispers.

I drop the knife to the bed. Let go of her wrists. Using both hands, I grip the sides of her face as I stare at her. My thumbs rub up across her cheekbones. I didn’t want to believe it. And I can see the truth in her eyes. Then she pinches her eyes closed and her pain tears me in fucking two. The ache in my chest burns white hot.

I’ve fucked up. I’m fucked up. In all the ways that matter.

“Doll?”

Her eyes slowly open. She’s so beautiful lying there. A beautiful mess. Her eyes, her lips, her freckles. Her blood and her hair such a contrast to the white sheet behind her.

“Seein’ you and rememberin’ her . . . it’s poisoning me.”

“I know. But I didn’t hurt you, so stop taking the pain she caused you out on me.” She looks away. Won’t meet my eyes. Tears build and fall down the sides of her face. I can’t describe the pain I feel inside. All I know is it fucking burns me to my core. “I wanted to help you . . . at first,” she says solemnly. “But now, I don’t know if I’ll survive it.”

Her words hit me like a sledgehammer.

I hear the thunder of large boots coming door the hall, more than one set. A shadow falls over us.

“The fuck! Get him off her.” Hands grip me and yank me away from her. I don’t fight them this time. Because this isn’t Dana. And I don’t want to hurt the woman lying in that bed more than I already have.

I’m dragged out of the room and thrown against the wall. I hear Griz say, “You okay? Here, hold this to your neck. Stop the bleedin’ and I’ll go get the first aid kit.”

More brothers flood into the hall.

“What the fuck have you done?” Dozer growls when he sees me. Then he’s in front of me and landing a solid punch to my stomach that bends me in fucking half. He doesn’t stop there. A half dozen hits rain down on me, and I take every single one without fighting back. The pain ricochets through me, but it’s nothing compared to the white bomb exploding inside my chest. I welcome it with open arms. The physical and the mental pain blend together to create a symphony of agony inside me. He gets a few more hits in, before my brothers grab him and haul him back.

“What the fuck is wrong with you, huh? You lost your fuckin’ mind? What’d I say? I said stay the fuck away from her!” he hollers at me.

Grinder and Taz wrestle Dozer and with a joint effort succeed in getting him a few feet down the hallway and then push him into a room and shut the door.

Using the wall as leverage, I get to my feet.

Griz comes out of Dozer’s room. Rage is firing in his eyes.

I’ve seen this side of Griz twice in the ten years I’ve known him, once when Cap was shot and the other when some asshole nearly killed three of us because he changed lanes without looking. At this moment, he wants to kill me. If I want to stay breathing, I need to get the fuck out of his way. But I’m not sure if I want to stay breathing. I’m not sure I deserve to. There’s a special place in hell for assholes who abuse women. And part of me wants Griz to send me there.

The punch comes fast and slams into my right jaw. Fire ignites through my face. I hiss, “Fuck,” as black spots flutter in my vision.

“Blood for blood. She bleeds—you bleed. And maybe with enough hits to that thick fuckin’ skull of yours, you’ll start seein’ things more clearly.” He rubs his knuckles. “I don’t care what Lita says—it wasn’t her.”

“I know,” I say as I spit and then use the back of my hand to wipe the blood from my lips.

“It’s ’bout time you open your eyes and stop seein’ only what you want to see. Dana was a leech. A wiltin’ black rose. Fightin’ to hold off the reaper. Pumpkin’s a sweet fuckin’ girl who gives more than she takes. She’s just lookin’ for a place to land where someone will give a fuck about her. She’s fightin’ to survive. Give her a goddamn chance to.”

Then he walks away.

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