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CHAPTER FOUR

JASPER

Through the window, I watch the masses of people passing by, each one busy living their ordinary existence. Wrapped in their own world of grocery lists and scheduled meetings. Picking up dry cleaning or rushing home to pay the babysitter. Wonder what that would be like?

“What if I try to… No, they thought of that too. Whoever encrypted this knew what they were doing.” Falin and Leon are side by side on the couch, doing the same shit they’ve been doing everyday since we moved here. My leg won’t stop shaking and it’s driving me crazy. I need something to take the edge off.

“Well, it definitely wasn’t Brennan. He was absolute garbage when it came to tech stuff,” Blake says. She’s on the end of the couch, lacing up her boots for her date day with Damon.

Falin turns to meet her gaze with a sad smile. “Who knows? I mean, he was living a double life.”

Blake tucks her head and sighs. “True.” She stands and grabs her coat from the hook behind the front door. “Are you sure you don’t need our help today? I don’t mind staying in.”

“Go have fun. Please… there’s already too many of us in here. We’re going to start killing each other soon.” Falin glances my way before bringing her attention back to her screen.

I’m reminded of how I woke up in her bed, with her body cradled against my chest, the kittens asleep in a cuddle pile at our heads. Fuck, it was nice. Probably the single best way I’ve woken up in the past few years.

Too bad as soon as her eyes opened, she was back to pretending she hates me.

“We got one part at least—the breadcrumb that led us here. Now if I could just crack the rest of this mess and figure out where in this city to look.” Leon taps away at his keyboard, head slumped. We all look exhausted, except Blake. She’s goddamn glowing.

Damon makes his way over from their bedroom, freshly showered and dressed in black. I bet he used all the hot water… That would be so Damon.

“You two look adorable,” I say. “Like the perfect emo couple. And so well rested, almost like you weren’t up all night screwing each other’s brains out.”

Damn, I’m grumpy. I wish I could blame it all on lack of sleep.

Blake’s cheeks flush pink as Damon puts his hand on her lower back. “I’m going to take your compliment and leave the rest for another time. Did you eat? You sound hangry.”

“Not yet.” I huff. “You can’t just shove food at me whenever I’m pissy.”

“I’ll order something,” Falin says, swapping her laptop for her phone. She looks at Leon, adding. “Thai?”

“That works,” he answers.

Am I fucking invisible?

“What if I want something else? Like Mexican or Italian,” I snap, crossing my arms.

“Oh, this place has five stars. The best Pad Thai in the neighborhood,” Falin says, ignoring me.

“We’re going to head out,” Blake says carefully. “See you guys later.”

“Call if anything comes up,” Damon adds. They’re out the door before any of us get the chance to say goodbye.

“I’m gonna go check on the kittens,” I grumble.

Leon finally notices that I’m in the room. “Did you mention them to Blake and Damon?”

I stop halfway to Falin’s door and turn. “Not yet. They weren’t exactly available this morning.”

He stretches his arms above his head, settling them far too close to Falin’s shoulder for my liking. “I’ll look up the nearest shelter. We can take them in after we eat.”

All at once, emotion floods my system. With my teeth clenched, I grit out a simple, “No.”

Falin cocks her head, eyeing me closely. “Jasper, you know we can’t give them a good life.”

“She’s right. You can’t possibly want to keep them.” Leon adds.

“Try and take them,” I say. “You won’t like what happens.”

Maybe I’m being a dick, but I’m tired of having no say in what goes on around here. I haven’t been of much help since before the accident and I need something, anything to keep me going.

They exchange glances. “Alright… Well, maybe you should go pick up some stuff for them. A litter box, real food bowls.”

“We’ll see what Damon thinks,” Leon says, keeping his voice level. I’m not stupid. What he’s really saying is, ‘ I don’t want to be the bad guy, so I’ll let Damon take one for the team’ .

“They stay,” I repeat. “We don’t just give up on the people—animals—we love.”

Falin stands, eyeing me like I’m a flight risk. “How about we go get them some supplies? I’ll come with you.”

I can read her expression. She doesn’t actually want to come with me. She wants to make sure I’m not going to score again. Well, I don’t need a babysitter. Especially one who looks at me with pity eyes.

“Stay here, eat your Pad Thai or whatever it is you ordered. I’ll be back later.”

“Brother—” Leon starts. I put my hand up.

“It’s fine. I’m a grown ass man. I don’t need your food and I don’t need a babysitter.”

I cross the room and slip out the door, not caring that I haven’t showered or changed.

It’s fine. I’ve got this. It’s a simple task—find a pet store, buy some shit, and come back. I don’t need to find a plug.

The cold air hits my face and I release a long breath. I can do this.

I make it a few blocks before I realize she’s behind me. I’ve memorized the way her Doc Martens sound on pavement, learned the subtle hints of her perfume. She smells like roses, but not the cheap kind vendors sell on street corners—darker, richer, like they bloomed in a night garden behind iron gates, their stems wrapped in the sharpest thorns. So fitting for her personality.

I veer to the right, passing a couple hand in hand, and turn at the next corner. Should I bring her on a little adventure? That would be fun, but I don’t want to leave the kittens too long without food and litter. Instead, I duck into an alcove, some restaurant back entrance, and wait.

Her body comes into view seconds later. That perfect hourglass, making my mouth water. I swear she wears those tiny crop tops just to fuck with me. This one is decorated with metal studs and black hearts. My palms itch as she steps closer, glancing around. She turns in a full circle, missing out on what’s right in front of her. Can’t forget the shadows. That’s where us monsters hide.

With her back turned, I step forward and wrap my arms around her waist, lifting her until her back presses flush against my chest. My palms spread across her bare midriff as she kicks her feet in the air, thrashing in my hold.

I lean in and brush my lips against her ear. “Where’s your jacket? You’ll freeze out here in this tiny shirt.”

“Jasper, what the fuck? Put me down.” The fire in her voice has me fighting back a smile.

“Why are you following me, sweetheart? Miss me too much?” I linger against the shell of her ear for a second, loving the way her body squirms against mine.

“I swear to God, I’m going to slice your balls off in your sleep if you don’t let go right fucking now.”

“Okay, okay, no need to bring the baby juice storage into it.” I slowly place her feet back on the ground, crossing my arms and leaning against the brick building. She stands motionless, only her shoulders rising with one quick breath. The movement is so fast I almost miss it—her body pivoting, closing the space between us. Suddenly she’s pressed against my chest, holding the sharp edge of her switchblade against my throat. Her eyes pin me, hard and deadly. I don’t know whether to moan or piss myself. “Quit flirting with me, or I just might fall in love with you,” I say in a playful tone.

“I don’t make empty threats, Jasper. You ever grab me like that again and this blade will look like a butter knife compared to what I’ll use.” She presses the blade closer and I feel the sharp sting of my skin splitting. We stay like that for a few long moments, heartbeats thundering against each other’s chest, eyes locked in a silent battle. She’s waiting for me to relent. To tuck my tail between my legs and tell her “Yes, Falin,” like an obedient puppy. And I will, but not before I’ve memorized every spark of fire dancing in her smokey eyes.

I reach for her hand and pull it away from my throat. “I believe you.” She blinks and steps back, glancing down at the blade in her fist, dotted with my blood. I cup my neck, wiping at the crimson beads that made their way to the surface.

Falin digs through her purse and pulls out a tissue. “Here.” Clearing my throat, I take it and attempt to wipe away the blood. I notice a few pedestrians staring at us from across the street. “We should go,” she says, probably noticing the same people I do.

“Yeah, one sec.” I take off my hoodie and pull it over her head. “Don’t fight me on this. It’s cold.” A cute scowl lines her lips, but she slides the hoodie down the rest of the way. It stops at her knees, and I’m momentarily bummed that I don’t get to ogle her anymore. But then again, neither does the rest of Manhattan.

We walk side by side, toward the independently owned pet supply shop I found on Google. Falin seems to be deep in thought as she toys with the ribbed wrist cuff. “I didn’t need a babysitter. I wasn’t going to buy pills.”

“I’m too tired to deal with this argument,” she says, not missing a beat.

The pet shop is a few feet away, just past a pedestrian tunnel where a group of workers crowd around brick siding, making repairs.

“What’s the argument? All I’m saying is, you can trust me. I’m not going to make that mistake again.” I hope I sound more sure than I feel.

She sighs and turns her head in my direction. “I know more about this than you think, okay? I don’t want to get into it right now, but trust me on this. You’re nowhere near ready to be left to your own devices.”

As my brain wraps around a response, she quickens her pace, stepping around the crew of workers, and heads into the pet store.

Thirty minutes, three hundred dollars and two arguments later, we leave the sweltering pet store, arms full of bags, a pre-assembled hot pink cat tower, and a self-scooping litter box.

“We should buy one of those cart things people use to lug their groceries around,” I say, adjusting the cat tower against my shoulder.

“Or order online like normal people,” she says. I notice she’s shoved my hoodie in the bag, after taking it off in the store.

“You’re not cold?” I ask.

She rolls her eyes. “Are you kidding? Their heat had to be broken. It was like a sauna in there.”

“True, but it’s cold out here.” I shrug, leaving it alone. Don’t need to piss her off yet again.

“What’s with your obsession over my body temperature? I don’t need a big, strong man telling me to cover up. I’m not going to catch the plague from a little cool air.” She tosses her hair over her shoulder in an extra show of sass.

Yeah, but I won’t have to kill every person in the tri-state area for looking at you. Exhibit A: the creepy contractor who’s eye fucking her right this very moment. Stay calm. You know how most men are. Disgusting animals who can’t keep their eyes or hands to themselves. My jaw clenches and fist balls around the base of the cat tower hard enough to crush metal.

“Looking good, blondie. Can I get your number?” the dude calls to her as she passes by.

“Fuck off,” Falin snaps, giving him the finger. That’s my girl.

“Come with me and I will,” he replies, loud enough to be heard over the chuckles of his coworkers.

I stop in my tracks, only a foot away from the bastard, forcing air in through my nose and out through my mouth like my therapist taught me last year. But it’s not doing shit to calm me. Only one thing will.

“Hey, fuck face,” I call out. He whirls around, giving me his toughest expression. He’s gotta be shorter than six feet at first glance and a hell of a lot smaller than me, not that it matters.

I don’t wait for a response—my body acts on its own accord. I swing the hot pink cat tower, the hanging bell toy jingling like a soundtrack to my rage, and smash it over his head.

Caught off guard, he loses his balance and stumbles back against the wall. I barely see the other contractors standing at attention beside him through my tunnel vision. But I hear her, Falin, as she calls my name. “Jasper, what the hell?”

I ready the cat tower to strike again, but she grips my arm and yanks me toward her, ignoring hollers from the guys.

“Call the cops, Gino. This fucker just hit Miller.” Pulling from her grasp, I advance on my target again, wanting to see him crumple to the cold, hard ground.

“Come on!” Falin yells beside me and I finally come to, blinking and taking in my surroundings. “They’re calling the cops. Let’s go!”

“Fuck,” I say under my breath. Hoisting the cat tower on my shoulder, we break out into a run and don’t stop until we’re two blocks away from home.